Walking on Sunshine: A Sweet Love Story (Seasons of Love Book 1) (21 page)

“Oh no,” I whispered, closing my eyes.

“I didn’t realize Ben was in the other room and heard everything. The next thing I heard was him running up the stairs and slamming Jake’s bedroom door. He hasn’t come out since. I was able to get Jake in there to try and talk to him, but I let him be for most of the afternoon. I thought it would be best until you came home and talked to him. I'm so sorry. I didn’t mean to.” I could see the pain in her eyes as she admitted everything.

“It's okay. It's not quite how I was hoping to tell him, but at least he knows.” I gave her a hug, trying to comfort her. “I really appreciate that you watched over him.”

“I'm so sorry, Jes,” Cindy apologized again. “I feel awful.”

“It solves my problem of how to tell him.” I shrugged and looked over at the stairs. “I guess I better try to get him out of Jake's room and back home.”

I climbed up the stairs. Cindy’s house was a lot like mine, yet decorated so differently that if felt entirely like a different place. She enjoyed a bit more of the family feel of a house with pictures hung everywhere of the kids and plaques with motivational sayings on them. Her house was also a bit bigger with an extra bedroom addition on the second floor. I walked to Jake's door where a “No Girls Allowed” sign was hung. I knocked on the door.

“Hey, Ben, it’s your mom. Will you come out and talk to me?” I yelled through the door. The door opened a crack and Jake stuck his head through the door. His auburn hair fell in his eyes as he looked up at me.

“Hi, Ms. Jes. Ben doesn’t want to come to the door right now, so can I take a message?” Jake asked. He bit his lip, chewing on it anxiously.

“Can you please let me in. I really want to see Ben.”

“Um... no you can’t come in.” He shook his head, looking hesitant.

“Jake, open that door for her. If you don’t, I'm going to take away all your toys for a month,” Cindy threatened, coming up behind me.

“I can’t Mom. I promised I wouldn’t,” Jake whined.

“Jake!” Cindy got in front of me, “I'm going to count to three. One, two...” her voice was getting serious. Jake opened up the door hurriedly, and I walked in.

“Where’s Ben?” I asked looking around the room.

“Not here.”

“What do you mean,
'not here'?
Where is he?” I looked at Jake. Panic was starting to bubble up in my stomach.

“He made me promise not to tell.” He looked down at the ground and dug his toe into the carpet.

“Please Jake, I really need to talk with him. I know he is mad at me.” I tried to keep my voice calm. If I stayed calm, then so would everyone else. This would be fine.

“He went to go find Cee himself. He took his bike and rode off a little bit ago.” Jake kicked the toys in front of him with his foot. My mouth dropped.

“What?” I gasped. Cindy looked just as surprised as I did.

“I had no idea. I was here the whole day. The only time I wasn't inside was when I...” Cindy paled visibly. “I was in the back hanging up the laundry. He must have snuck out then.”

“Cindy, we need to go find him. Can you help me? I'm going to call him and see if he will pick up.” I dialed Ben’s cell to see if he would answer. It rang and rang, and then nothing. I ran downstairs, Cindy hot on my heels.

“I'm going to start looking for him. I'll pull up his location with my tracker.” I was glad I had installed that app on his phone. It had felt a little big brother-ish at the time, but after the last time he ran away, it was worth it.

I pulled it up and saw that it wasn’t moving—it was close by! I ran out the house door and followed the signal, about a block up I found the phone. It was resting on the sidewalk, just shy of the grass. It must have fallen out of his pocket. I was in a total panic now. Not only was he missing, he didn't have his phone on him. I ran back to Cindy’s, screaming that Ben had lost his phone.

“I'll drive south, and you drive north. I'll let you know if I find him and vice versa,” I instructed as I got in my car. She nodded and started up her own, pushing a scared looking Jake into the backseat of her minivan.

Stay calm, stay calm,
I chanted.
He's fine, he's fine...

I started scouring the streets, not knowing where he would have gone. I had no idea if he knew where Cee's apartment was. The fact that he was on his bike made things more difficult. It was starting to get dark and to get to Cee’s apartment he had to cross a lot of busy streets.

I banged my hands down on the steering wheel, knowing exactly what I had to do. I didn't have a choice. I picked up my phone and dialed Cee.

“H
ello?” Cee answered. I felt myself relax with just the sound of his voice and hated that he had that effect on me.

“Hi, Cee, its Jes. Now before you say anything, I'm still mad at you, and I don't want to talk to you.” I was harsh, making sure that he knew I meant business. “But, I need your help. Ben ran away. I think to find you. Have you heard anything from him?” I was out of breath by the time everything was said, trying to not let Cee interrupt me.

“No, I haven’t heard or seen from him today.” His tone was cool, but tinged with worry. I could tell he was still angry and had not let the hurtful things I said go, but at least he cared enough about Ben to let it slide. “Come by and pick me up, we can look together. I think I know of some places where he might be.”

“Okay, be there in five.” I hung up, trying to be as curt as possible. It only took me a moment to drive to Cee’s house, where I found him already on the sidewalk waiting for me. I stopped the car next to him and unlocked the door. He slid effortlessly into the passenger seat. He was wearing a tight black shirt and a pair of his classic board shorts. I looked away quickly, feeling those familiar urges start to take over.

“Jes, I'm so sorry. I have been wanting to talk to you and explain...” Cee started. I held up my hand to stop him.

“I'm not here to talk to you, I'm here to find my son, and do not want to talk about anything else until we have found him.” I turned back to the steering wheel to show that the conversation was done. Cee closed his mouth and we sat in silence. “Now where do you think Ben is?”

“He might be up at the park a mile away, we used to go there to play lacrosse sometimes.” Cee pointed up the street. “If he was coming to find me, he would go there first. We went there a lot.”

“Okay.” I put the car into drive. The silence between us was deafening, only to be broken with Cee telling directions on which street to turn on. We pulled into the park’s parking lot and got out. It was a little park with a few benches and a playground. It had a wide-open field of grass and a swing set nearby. It was perfect for lacrosse and I could see why Ben liked it here.

“Ben, Ben are you here?” I shouted, trying to hold the fear back in my voice. It was dark now, and there were not many lights to help me look around. I strained my eyes to try and see a shadow or a shape that might be him.

“Ben, Ben!” Cee joined in the yelling, his deeper voice carrying across the field.

“Mom!” I heard Ben’s cry. Relief, pure and heavy hit my heart. I started running around following the voice with Cee right on my heels.

“I'm coming, Ben!” I yelled, following his voice through the dark. I finally found him in the playground, his bike was laying on its side and he was sitting hunched on a bench. I ran to him and hugged him.

“Mommy...” Ben whimpered as I pulled him into me. “It hurts...”I stepped back to take a better look at him. He had worn his helmet, thank God, but he was cradling his wrist.

“What happened?” I let go instantly, looking to see what was wrong.

“I fell off my bike when I got here and landed on my wrist.” He clutched the arm closer to him. His little voice was rough from crying, though I knew he was doing his best to be brave. “I tried to get back on, but it got dark and it hurts a lot.”

I squinted at it trying to see it in the dark, but I had no idea what to even look for.

“Let me see,” Cee said gently. I had forgotten he was even there. He crouched next to Ben and gently lifted his wrist. “Does this hurt?” he pressed on it and Ben gave out a yelp. I cringed wanting to pull Cee away from my son. “Try moving it like this.”

“It hurts to do that,” Ben whimpered.

“It looks like you broke your wrist, Ben,” Cee explained. “Luckily, it didn’t break the skin and it doesn’t look like it’s your entire arm.” He stood up and looked at me.

“What do we do?” Tears streamed down my face. My son was hurt. He ran away because of me, and now he was hurt. It was entirely my fault. Everything was all my fault. Cee looked at me and took a step toward, wanting to comfort me. I shied away and I could see his body tense up. He abruptly turned around and grabbed Ben’s bike.

“We need to get him to the hospital to get it set. He'll feel a lot better once the doctor fixes it and gives him some pain meds.” He turned to Ben. “Okay Ben, do you think you can walk?”

Ben nodded slowly. “I think so.”

“Good. I need you to walk to the car with your mom. Be careful not to move your wrist, and let her open your door and buckle you in.” Cee smiled at Ben, and motioned him forward. “I'll be right behind you, and I'll stick the bike in the trunk.”

We walked slowly over to the car. Ben had a slight limp and it wasn’t until we hit the streetlight that I saw he had skinned up his knees as well. They were crusted in blood, and he was covered in grime. It made my stomach tie up in knots. I was a terrible mother.

I opened the door and helped Ben in to his seat, his face grimacing every so often with pain as we got him settled. Cee closed the trunk and walked beside me. I was shaking so hard I couldn’t even get his buckle latched.

“Here, let me get it.” He gently grabbed my hands and moved them aside. He buckled the belt and looked at Ben. “You all right?”

“I think so.” Ben looked sheepishly at him.

“Okay, you are being very brave right now. We'll go to the hospital, they'll put on a cast, and it will feel better from there.” He closed the door softly and looked at me.

“I'll drive. Grace Hospital is better for kids, and it isn’t too far away.”

“W
e're here,” Cee stated as he pulled up to the front of the ER. “Hop out and get him set up. I'll go park the car.”

I got out of the car and followed his instructions, moving mechanically. I got Ben out and shut the door. My hands were shaking so bad, I had to do it twice to make sure it actually closed. Cee tried to give me a comforting smile, but I looked past him, just focusing on the next step of the process. I was still too worried about Ben and mad at him to be anywhere close to forgiving him.

“Hi, what seems to be wrong today?” the receptionist asked as I rushed Ben inside. He smiled at me, moving paperwork around, but looking friendly and competent.

“My son, he... I mean...” I took a big breath in, feeling the tears well up as I said it. “He broke his wrist when he fell off his bike.”

The man stood up and peered over the counter to look at Ben. “Oh no, he took quite the nasty fall it looks like, but good thing you are wearing your helmet.”

I looked at Ben and realized he was still wearing his dark blue helmet. We forgot to take it off in the rush. I could feel a maniacal giggling bubbling up in my chest, but I pushed it down. It wasn't that funny and it certainly wasn't the time for me to break down yet.

“Alright, let's get you in the system. Luckily, it's been a pretty quiet day,” the man said. He handed me a clipboard with paperwork. “Go fill this out, and we'll get you in to see the doctor in just a minute.”

I had Ben go sit down in the chairs as I filled out his information. I had just finished filling out the insurance information when the receptionist gestured us into the hallway of the ER.

There was a nurse waiting for us in blue scrubs to take us to a room. We followed where the nurse directed us, but I paid more attention to Ben than where we were going. In a brightly lit exam room, we got him set up on the examination table.

It wasn't long before the nurse walked in with her laptop. She was wearing dark blue scrubs and had her blond hair pulled up into a bun.

“Hi Ben, my name is Rachel.” She smiled warmly and looked over at me. “You must be his mom, Jes. It looks like we took quite a spill. How are you feeling?”

“Okay,” Ben responded, looking at me. His eyes were as big as saucers and his face pale with shock.

“Do you remember what happened?” She asked, filling out his chart. In between her questions, she moved around us, taking his temperature, his heart rate and all the other vital signs, and recording the results.

“I was bike riding, and I hit a bump.” He swallowed hard, his eyes big as he explained his injury. “I fell off my bike and hit my wrist. I couldn’t do anything with it, or move my bike.”

“Okay,” she replied, marking something in the computer. “Do you feel nauseous, or sick to your stomach?”

“No, it just hurts.” Ben looked at me. “Where’s Cee?”

“Right here,” Cee announced, walking in through the curtains and standing next to Ben. Ben's face instantly lightened. The doctor looked at Cee.

“Who are you?” Rachel inquired.

“He is, or was, our nanny” I responded. My voice sounded flat.

“Is it okay that he is back here?” Rachel's fingers hovered over a phone resting by the computer, ready to call security if I needed her to.

“Yes, it's fine,” I said, not wanting to upset Ben. Rachel's hand dropped away from the phone.

“Okay then.” She turned from the computer and looked at us. “We need to take an x-ray first. Who would like to come with him?”

“Can Cee come with me?” Ben asked. I was taken aback and a little hurt by the request, but nodded.

I wanted to let him have whatever he wanted, just as long as it took his mind off the pain. Rachel helped us get Ben out of his shorts and shirt and put him into his medical gown, and then transferred him neatly into a wheelchair.

“I'll stay here, fill out this paperwork and let your dad know what happened. I should text Cindy, too,” I told Ben as Rachel rolled Ben out. Cee walked beside him, cracking jokes about hospital gowns and butts to make Ben smile. I shook my head picked up my phone. I sent a quick text to Cindy letting her know that we found Ben and then called Richard.