Wanted: Parents for a Baby! (13 page)

She'd spent the morning signing up for as many foster-care classes as she could with her current work schedule. When she was finished with that, she wrote down the dates and times of the other classes and headed to Cedar Bluff Hospital to talk to her boss.

There had to be a way to switch shifts with someone or to take vacation time. As a last resort, she could take a personal unpaid leave of absence, but even that would have to be approved by her boss and by Human Resources.

When she arrived, Michelle, the nurse manager for the neonatal ICU, was tied up in a meeting, so she headed down to the ICU to check on Gloria.

“How's Trey?” she asked.

“Oh, Cass, he's starting to wake up,” Gloria said, hope shining from her eyes. “He's moving all his extremities but isn't quite following commands yet.”

“Give him time, Gloria,” she urged,
giving her friend a hug. “I have a good feeling about this.”

“Me, too,” Gloria admitted. “Last night was the longest night of my life, but today things are looking up. If he begins to follow commands, I'll feel even better.”

“He will.” Cassie wouldn't allow her friend to worry about the worst-case scenario. “Do you mind if I sit here with you for a few minutes? I'm waiting for Michelle to come out of a meeting.”

“No problem.” Gloria dropped into the waiting room chair and Cassie sat down beside her. “Why do you need to talk to your boss?”

Cassie explained about how there were six foster-care classes that clashed with her schedule.

“I can't believe you're going to be a single mother,” Gloria said, a tiny frown puckering her brow.

“You don't think it's a good idea,” Cassie said, reading her body language. “But trust me, I know what I want.”

“You'll be a great mother, Cass, it's just—don't you want to wait until you have a husband? Maybe give birth to a child of your own?”

Cassie took a deep breath. “I need surgery before I can even try to get pregnant again and even then there's a good chance I won't be able to carry a baby to term,” she admitted, ignoring the way Ryan's face flashed into her mind at the thought of getting married again. “So, you see, this is the right thing to do. Emma needs me, Gloria, as much as I need her.”

Gloria's expression softened. “I can tell you love her already, so if that's what you want to do, then any man who falls in love with you will just have to deal with it, right?”

An image of Ryan holding Daniel flashed in her mind. He obviously adored babies. Had admitted he wanted children of his own. But did that extend to fostering? She had no idea. Her phone vibrated. She'd turned off the ringer while in the hospital and recognized the hospital number. “Sorry, Gloria, I think this is Michelle.”

“Go and meet with her. We'll chat later.”

Cassie answered the phone. The unit clerk in the neonatal unit let her know that Michelle had returned. “Don't let her run off. I'll be right there.”

She took the stairs up to the third floor, unwilling to wait for the elevator. Michelle was
in her office and surprisingly supportive of the schedule changes Cassie needed.

Once she had everything set, Cassie hurried back home to sign up for the remaining classes. But this time, when she tried to register, the system spit back a message.

Your status as a potential foster parent has been temporarily suspended. Please make an appointment with our administrator as soon as possible.

Cassie stared at the message in horror. What was going on? She rummaged through her purse, looking for Mr. Davies's card for his number. She called and had to navigate through several auto voice-mail prompts before she was able to finally speak to a real person.

“My name is Cassandra Jordan and I've just been notified that my status as a potential foster parent has been temporarily suspended,” she said with a hitch in her tone. She was trying very hard not to cry, hoping that this was just some horrible mistake.

“Oh, yes, I'm sorry, but that is correct,” the woman said in a cheerful tone that made Cassie want to scream with frustration.

“Would you mind telling me why?” Cassie asked. “Is there some form I forgot to fill out? Or some piece of information you need to clear this up?”

“Well, it appears that you listed a single-bedroom apartment as your current residence,” the woman said. “I'm afraid we prefer that our foster children are given the opportunity to have their own rooms. However, we can make exceptions. You need approval from Mr. Davies.”

“Two bedrooms,” Cassie repeated, trying to absorb the implications. “Okay, I can understand that and actually I have a message in to my landlord to inquire if a two-bedroom apartment is available. Could I talk to Mr. Davies? I'd like an exception if possible so I can continue the process.”

“I'm sorry, Mr. Davies is out of town for the rest of the week. He won't be back until next Monday. But I'll let him know that you called.”

A week? But the classes started in three days! Cassie felt her phone slip from her fingers and crash to the table.

What if she lost the chance to be Emma's foster mother because of this delay? Especially since Emma was getting better.

Her dream of being Emma's mother cracked and then shattered. Tears burned her eyes and she buried her face in her hands, succumbing to an overwhelming wave of despair.

R
YAN COULDN
'
T BELIEVE
how nervous he was as he approached Cassie's apartment door. He'd managed to catch someone coming out, so he hadn't needed to buzz her apartment to get in.

He straightened his shoulders and took a deep breath. He knew he was overreacting, that they were just having dinner, but at the same time he didn't want to mess up.

He rapped lightly on Cassie's door, resisting the urge to double-check that his shirt was tucked in. He'd dressed casually in a black pair of dress pants and a blue polo shirt. Maybe he should have chosen a button-down shirt and a tie?

The seconds ticked by with no response, so he frowned and knocked again, louder. After several more seconds the door opened a crack.

“I'm sorry, Ryan, but I'm not going to be
able to keep our date,” Cassie said in a low voice.

His instincts went on red alert, and not just because she was wearing cut-off jeans and T-shirt. Her face was blotchy and her eyes were swollen. “What's wrong? Have you been crying?”

She shook her head and sniffled loudly. “It's nothing, really. I'm sorry about dinner. I'll take a rain-check, okay?”

She stepped back and started to shut the door, but he quickly slapped his hand against it, holding firm. “Cassie, please, talk to me. I don't care about dinner, but it's obvious you're upset. Please, tell me what's wrong.”

With a listless shrug she stepped back farther and let go of the door. He pushed it open wider and then stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

Cassie stood with her arms crossed defensively over her chest. “I'm sorry, I should have called before you made the trip out here,” she said, avoiding his gaze.

“I don't care about our plans, but I do wish you'd called me earlier, because then I could have been here for you.”

She shrugged again and turned away.

He could barely stand to see her so torn up
like this. This couldn't be about Emma's condition since he knew the baby was doing all right. Claire had called to let him know that Emma had tolerated her weaning fairly well, but looked as if she was getting tired, so he'd decided to let her rest overnight and then work on weaning her again in the morning.

So what had happened to make Cassie cry?

“Please, tell me what happened. Didn't you get into the foster-care classes? Or did your boss refuse to work with your schedule?”

She bit her lower lip and then turned to face him. “I don't think I can take the classes until I speak with the administrator and he's out of the office until next week,” she said bluntly, her eyes filling with tears. “Which means, I may not be approved in time to be there for Emma.”

He couldn't help it, he crossed over and drew her against him in a reassuring hug. She seemed to resist for a moment but then buried her face against his chest.

“I'm so sorry,” he murmured, thinking it wasn't fair that her world was on hold until some administrator came back from his vacation.

“I know I'm being ridiculous but I wanted so badly to be Emma's mother,” she said, her
voice muffled against his shirt. “I should just be happy that Emma will go to a good home, but I'm selfish, Ryan. I wanted her to be with me.”

“Shh, Cassie, you're not selfish,” he said, resting his cheek against her hair and smoothing his hand down her back. Even though he was all too aware of her curves pressed against him, he kept his touch gentle, reassuring. “It's clear you two belong together. I wish there was something I could do to help.”

“Thanks, Ryan, but there isn't anything we can do until next week. Which will probably be too late.” She drew back a little to look up into his eyes. “But it's nice to know you care enough to try.”

He did care, far more than he should. He wanted to give Cassie everything and it was frustrating to have this issue outside his control. “Don't give up,” he urged in a low voice. “You're already signed up for the first class this week anyway, right?” When she gave a hesitant nod, he continued, “Then go and we'll get this cleared up next week. It will all be fine, you'll see. Besides, it's clear to anyone with eyes in their head that you and Emma belong together.”

Her tremulous smile tugged at his heart.
“Sure, why not?” Then she tipped her head to the side, her gaze quizzical. “Do you really think we belong together?”

“Yes, I do,” he said with conviction. “Not everyone has the mothering instincts that you do, Cassie. Every time I see you holding Emma, you take my breath away.”

“Oh, Ryan,” she murmured. “I think that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. Thank you.”

His heart twisted in his chest and for a moment he wanted to smack that cheating ex-husband of hers for hurting her. He lowered his head to kiss her cheek, but she surprised him by coming up on tiptoe to press her mouth against his.

He tried to offer comfort, but Cassie's lips teased his until he opened his mouth and deepened their kiss. The way she melted into his arms, molding herself against him, made tiny stars explode behind his eyes.

Nothing had ever felt so right as having Cassie in his arms. His body was on fire and soon the flames were so stoked he wasn't capable of thinking at all.

* * *

Cassie knew that she'd broken her no-kissing rule in a big way but couldn't seem to find
the energy to pull away. Ryan had been there for her emotionally when she'd needed him most, far different than Evan had ever been.

And when he deepened the kiss, exploring her mouth so intently, she wrapped her arms around his neck and hung on as her knees threatened to buckle.

Every nerve in her body hummed with sizzling awareness and she returned his kiss, letting all the passion she'd once buried deep inside burst free.

This was what she'd been missing from her life. For the life of her, she couldn't remember why she'd felt the need to stay away from him. Not when being in his arms felt so right.

Ryan lifted his head, his blue eyes glittering down at her with fierce intensity. “Cassandra, you're so beautiful,” he murmured. He pressed his lips against the curve of her jaw, and then trailed a path down the side of her neck, making her shiver with anticipation.

“You make me feel beautiful,” she whispered, and then gasped when he pulled her closer and she could feel the hard ridge of his erection.

Need zinged through her bloodstream and she found herself squirming against him, desperate to get closer still. His musky scent went
straight to her head, more potent than a shot of liquor. What was Ryan doing to her? She'd never felt like this before.

“Cassandra,” he murmured in a deep voice tinged with the same desperation she felt. “If you don't want to do this, tell me now.”

By
this
, she knew he meant making love.

She hadn't been intimate with a man in well over a year and a half. In fact, she'd had no trouble staying celibate.

Until now.

“I do want this, Ryan,” she said, drowning in his fierce blue eyes. “I want you.”

A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Thank God,” he muttered, covering her mouth in another searing kiss. When he lifted his head to breathe, he added, “I'm glad to know I'm not in this alone.”

The hint of vulnerability in his tone made her fall even more completely under his spell. She kissed the side of his neck, and then let out a squeal when he swept her legs out from under her.

He carried her into her bedroom before gently setting her on her feet. Before she could blink, he'd stripped off his shirt and then reached for the hem of her T-shirt.

She wished she'd dressed nicer for him, but
as he peeled her shirt up and over her head, his gaze feasting on her breasts encased in a pink lacy bra, she realized it didn't matter. His fingers found the button on her ragged shorts and, with deft movements, he pushed them down to the floor so she could step out of them.

She fumbled with his belt and in a flash of impatience he whipped it off and took off his slacks. He wore black boxers that barely covered his arousal and for the first time since he'd kissed her she felt a sliver of unease.

Not for what they were about to do but whether or not she'd live up to his expectations.

Sex with her ex hadn't exactly been earth-shattering.

“Cassie, tell me what's going on in your head,” Ryan urged, drawing her close. “Is something wrong? Have you changed your mind?”

She shoved away thoughts of her ex with an effort. “I haven't been with a man in a long time,” she confessed. “I'm afraid of disappointing you.”