Wanting Reed (Break Me) BOOK 2 (58 page)

“I can’t put all my eggs into one basket.”

“About medical school?” She nods her head in response. “What happened to going to Texas?”

“It’s one of my choices, but I can’t just assume they’re going to take me. I need to look at all my options.”

I don’t reply or challenge her. I’m not sure if I can respond without sounding upset. I don’t want to seem selfish. This is her dream, and I can’t put my wishes first. I need her in my life, but if this is what she wants, I will support her. I’ve got my own fucking problem to worry about now.

“Hey, man.” I thrust my free hand through my hair. “I haven’t heard anything yet? Have you?” I ask, throwing my keys onto the couch.

“Nope, today though, for sure. Maybe contestant number three is the big winner.” Luke chuckles, tossing himself onto the couch.

“I hope so.”

“Where’s Elle?”

“She had to go to the center. Something last minute came,” I reply, heading to the fridge for a beer. “I guess we have to wait a little bit more to see which one of us is going to be going to Lamaze classes with blondie.”

“So, what are you gonna do if you...ya know... if you’re the father?” Luke asks, fidgeting with the pillow.

“What are you gonna do?” I answer his question with a question. I don’t have a fucking clue; I don’t want to think about it. I want to get out of here, but this is not the kind of thing that can go away. It’s a damn baby. After a few moments of masking my emotions, I gather my thoughts. The fact that I’m here in this predicament is my own fault though. I have to be responsible. “I’ll man up. If the baby is mine, I am going to give it the best chance. I won’t walk away.”

“Yeah...” Luke grimaces, pulling a hand up to grip the back of his neck. Confusion and uncertainty are etched on his face. “I hear you, man,” he mumbles. “How do you think Elle is going to handle it?” He poses the question in which I have no answer. We are two guys in a complicated situation.

“We’ll figure it out,” I say, taking a pull of my beer. “What about Mindy? Have you heard anything? Is she doing okay?”

“Fuck, don’t get me started with that shit!” he bellows, jumping from the couch and heading into the kitchen. “That crazy chick is texting me. I don’t even know how she got my number,” he informs me. Grabbing a bag of chips, he rips it open and shoves a handful into his mouth.

“Well, one of us is gonna be on speed dial really soon, and I pray to God it’s not me,” I say. “I’m gonna need a few more of these today,” I grit out, lifting my beer to my lips. I empty it, slamming it onto the counter and go for another.

“I hear you, bro. I hear you.” He stares at me, struggling with some unseen emotion as his jaw clenches tightly. He closes his eyes for a minute before looking back at me. “Dude, I’m not ready for this kind of shit in my life. Fuck,” he utters. “I...got shit to prove.”

“What do you mean?” I ask. Seeing Luke like this is throwing me for a loop. “Dude, do you want to talk about it?”

“Nah...I’m good,” he mutters subtly, shaking his head and looking as if he’s trying to wrap his head around all of this. “Can you get me a beer, man? I’m not sure if can get through this day without a few.”

I arrive at the center as the annual toy drive is winding down. It’s held every year around the holidays, and it looks to have been a huge success. I missed it this year due to the interview that I had in Texas. I mingle with members and greet my coworkers that I haven’t seen in over a month before I head to the lounge to meet Jace. What is it that he has to tell me that he can’t tell me back at the house? The only time he comes here is to play basketball with Cane or to swim laps in the pool. Curiosity nips at my nerves as I walk in the direction of the lounge. This whole meeting has shady written all over it.

Tons of changes and updates have been made to the center since I’ve been out of commission. Old equipment, furniture and the sign out front have been replaced. Even the lounge has been redecorated with the walls painted red and new couches, which my handsome brother is currently reclining on with his feet kicked up on the coffee table.

“What’s this about?” I probe, looking at him in mock bewilderment from across the room as he flashes me a mischievous grin.

“Sheesh, where’s the love?” Jace laughs deeply, rising from the couch and holding out his arms to me. “Where’s my hug?” I giggle, dropping my bag onto the couch. I eagerly walk into his arms, wrapping mine around his slim waist and inhaling his fresh, clean scent. “You know it wasn’t the same without you during Thanksgiving,” he mumbles into my hair.

“I know.” I pull away, lifting my chin to look into my brother’s sparkling hazel eyes.

“I even rooted for the damn Cowboys for you!” he interjects. “And, they won. Ain’t that some shit? I don’t think Romo had an interception either.”

“Whatever.” I push against his chest, rolling my eyes at him.

“Did you get my sub?” he asks, turning to sit at the round card table.

“You’re lucky I love you,” I say, pulling out the paper sack from my bag.

“I know, right?” he exclaims, taking the sack from me and settling down at the table. He rips it open, unwraps his sandwich and bites into it. “How was Texas?” He talks between chews.

“Different.”

“It’s so far away.” He swallows. His voice is quiet, and he never breaks eye contact with me. “I can’t believe you’re thinking of leaving me.”

As I try to find the words, tears pool in my eyes at the thought, despite the smile on my face. “It’ll be fine.” I shrug, taking a deep breath. “Plus, it’s not final yet.”

“What do you mean?”

“I got an invitation to visit UCF Medical School in Orlando, Florida.”

“Shit, Elle, that’s a little better, but you’re still not here,” he admits, putting down his sub. “What does lover boy think about this?” He leans back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest.

“We haven’t really talked about it.”

“The clock is ticking,” he muses.

“I know.”

“Hey, guys.”

Familiar chills rake over my body at the sound of his voice. I frown at my brother who smirks at me in return. Shady just like I predicted. I bite on my lip and peek over my shoulder back at Cane. He appears content, considering he is on the chopping block and could possibly be the father of Mindy’s baby. His calm demeanor makes me nervous.

“Hi, Elle.” He grins as he pulls a chair back and takes the seat next to me. His chocolate brown eyes soak me in. “I asked Jace to call you here.” He nods at Jace and pulls up the sleeves of his gray T-shirt.

“Oh.” I turn to Jace and then back at Cane. “What’s this about?”

“I’m gonna leave you two guys alone.” Jace starts to rise from his seat.

“No, you can stay,” I say, grabbing his arm and motioning for him to sit as Cane nods in agreement.

“Fine.” He smiles, taking a bite of his sub. “If it starts to get loud, I’m out.”

Cane shifts his legs and leans back in the chair, transfixing me with his gaze. “Well, you know the whole thing with Mindy?” he asks with his brow furrowing.

“Sure.” I swallow, unsure of what I’d feel if he were to tell me he’s the father. What am I to think when he called me over like this?

“First off, I want to apologize for what happened with Sierra and Mindy.”

“Cane...” I begin to speak, but he cuts me off.

“Let me finish.” He runs his hand over his chin in contemplation while holding his eyes steady with mine. “Listen, Elle. Just know that no matter what happens, you can always count on me to be a friend, which makes having to tell you this even harder because I know it’s going to hurt like hell.” He looks over at Jace and then down at his hands before he lifts his eyes to mine. “I called you over because I got the call earlier today that my paternity test came back negative.”

Breathing suddenly becomes difficult for me. It’s like the air was sucked out of the room. I sigh shakily and put my head into my hands for the moment before scrubbing them over my face. I feel Jace’s hand on my back as he tries to comfort me, knowing what this news means to me.

“I’m sorry this is hurting you.” He blinks several times as if he sought to clear his vision.

“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. I knew this was coming.” I inhale a pained breath. “I just thought maybe I would take it a little bit better.”

“Elle,” Cane whispers, leaning forward and taking my hand in his. I look up at him through my lashes, fighting back the tears. “Are you okay?”

I notice in my periphery that Jace falls motionless. My heart skips a beat and lodges in my throat. I have to control the rush of feelings that flood through me from his words before they get the best of me.

“I’m fine.” I rise from the chair, the sensation of floating and falling overwhelms me as I move to leave. But, where do I go?

“Elle, let me take you home. You’re upset,” Jace says, grabbing my elbow to steady me.

“I’ll be fine,” I whisper, raising my eyes to meet his.

“You’re not,” Cane counters, blowing out a loud breath.

“Yes, I am.” I snap my head back to meet Cane’s eyes. My hopes seem to be crashing all around me. He just told me he’s not the father, which means there’s now a fifty percent chance Reed is. How the hell did my week start off so good only to be destroyed in a matter of seconds? Cane stands as if to comfort me, but I throw my bag over my shoulder and push his hands away. “No, Cane, don’t! You can’t just come back and think we’re okay! Right now I need to think about me and my future!” I shout as I storm out. Tears well in my eyes as my entire future that I thought I had planned may suddenly be completely altered and without Reed Austin in it.

The sun is setting, and the chill in the air bites at my skin. Trudging up the sidewalk to my apartment, I breathe and exhale. That does the trick for me right before an exam. This can be considered a test, a rather fucked-up kind of test of my resolve, patience, and love for Reed. How much more can I take? I’m not sure if I’m passing. It sure doesn’t feel like it. I’ve learned that in order to build strength there has to be a struggle. It may seem simple, but for me, it hasn’t been easy. I make my way up the front steps of my apartment, coiling my hair around my fatigued index finger. If Cane had a difficult time breaking the news to me, then breaking the news to Reed is going to be unpleasant to say the least. Now how do I start this rather shitty conversation?

Cane’s technique worked pretty well. It was blunt and to the point. There really was no need to beat around the bush. I dig into my bag and fish for my key. Some things are just unavoidable. I unlock and cautiously open the door to my quiet apartment preparing myself. Maybe he’s not here, and I can bury myself under my sheets and fall asleep to avoid it for a little while. Stop making excuses. I’m not going to crumble but stand my ground. This is my life, my future we’re talking about.

The hall light is on when I enter the apartment. I slip off my coat and hang it inside the closet and drop my bag near the door. I approach the living room and see Reed standing in the kitchen. His head is down, and his hands are pressed against the counter. I stand for a moment and watch him. I admire the lines of his body, the rise and fall of his shoulders and the muscles in his arm when they flex as he grabs the nape of his neck in frustration. He shifts, muttering “fuck” before taking a pull of his beer and setting the bottle down harshly as he turns. His step is indecisive when he sees me standing in the dimly lit living room.

“Doll,” he murmurs with sincerity in his eyes. I stand frozen with my arms at my sides, and without a word, he walks over and grabs me, pulling me to his chest. I don’t have the strength to hug him back. If Reed notices my discomfort, he does not mention it.