Watchin' The Detective: A Mystery Dinner Romance (4 page)

The policeman is making a phone call when a
woman walks into the room. She introduces herself as the
pathologist and starts looking at the body.

The wife cries uncontrollably and the
policeman tells her sister, “Can’t you move her across the room so
she doesn’t have to see all this?”

“Of course,” her sister says. Her husband
helps her walk her grieving sister over to an empty table out of
view of the body.

Back at Isabella’s table, Gunther looks like
he’s having a nervous breakdown. His eyes are enormous and he can’t
stop his foot from tap, tap, tapping.

“Yo! Gunther. Are you okay?” Joshua asks.

“I’m having a panic attack.”

“We all are.”

“I mean it. I’m different. I need my
meds.”

“Where are they?”

“At home.”

Nicole says, “Try to relax, Gunther. None of
us can go anywhere right now.”

Isabella and Nicole look at each other with
sympathy. “What a night,” Isabella says.

A moment later, Nicole notices that something
is different in her friend’s demeanor. Isabella looks possessed.
Like something has taken over her mind. Nicole looks in the
direction of Isabella’s gaze, and sees a very tall, dark, and
handsome man in a black suit, while shirt, and thin black tie. “Oh,
my God,” Nicole says. “He looks just like Don Draper.”

Chapter
Seven

Isabella’s mouth is agape as she stares at
the man. He walks over to the policeman and pathologist and says,
“What have we got here?”

They tell him what is happening and he writes
down some notes. He immediately takes charge of the room. He seems
gracious and doesn’t bark at people. He is perfect. At least
according to most of the women in the room.

He introduces himself to the actors and
diners, saying, “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is
Detective Don Sterling. We’ll try to finish this up and let you
people go back to your homes as soon as possible. But first, it is
very important that we talk to each of you, since you were eye
witnesses to the murder tonight.”

Isabella thinks,
Start with me. Start with
me
.

As if he can feel her energy, he looks right
at her.

Oh, my God!

He walks over to her table, and tells the
crowd, “I’ll start with these nice people.”

He pulls up a chair at Isabella’s table and
sits next to her. “Has anyone ever told you that you look Joan on
‘Mad Men’?”

His question calms the table a bit.

She tries to speak, but her mouth is as dry
as the Mojave Desert. After she takes a sip of water, she manages
to answer, “Uh…yes.”

He smiles at her and says, “What’s your
name?”

What is my name? I can’t think
straight
.

When she finally comes to, she tells him her
full name, address, and phone number (“Call me!” she wants to
say).

He writes down her name. “Isabella,” he says.
“That’s a pretty name. Just like the character in ‘Twilight’.”

I’m going to have to rent that DVD
,
she tells herself.

He continues, “Okay, Isabella. Tell me what
you saw tonight?”

Isabella can’t remember. She’s never been
this befuddled in her whole life. Finally, she collects her
thoughts and says, “I couldn’t see anything. The lights were turned
off and the only light I saw was from the flashlight.”

“What flashlight?”

“The ones the actors were holding.”

Joshua steps in and says, “It was part of the
show. Two actors came out holding flashlights. They both were far
away from the table where the poor guy was sitting.”

Detective Sterling says, “And who are
you?”

Joshua tells him his name, address, and phone
number.

He writes the information down and says,
“Joshua, do you have any idea why this man was murdered
tonight?”

“No. I didn’t see anything that would lead me
to believe it would end like this.”

“Have you ever seen this man before?”

“No.”

The detective looks at Nicole and Gunther and
asks them the same questions. They both say that they’ve never seen
him before and can’t think of any reason why someone would want to
kill him.

“Tell me what your names and addresses are,”
he says to both of them.

He looks back at Isabella and says, “Did you
see anything suspicious tonight, Isabella?”

“No. He seemed like a nice man. He had a
little too much to drink, and his voice kept getting louder. He
also bought champagne for everyone.”

“Everyone?”

“Yes. Everyone in the room. The actors and
the diners. He was kind of reckless with his spending.”

“You think so?”

“Well, yeah. He seemed to be throwing it
around.”

“Throwing it around, huh?”

“Well, it seemed that way to me,” she says,
suddenly feeling stupid and self-conscious.

“Did you notice anything unusual happening at
his table. Any arguments between him and his wife or in-laws, for
example?”

“No. I didn’t see anything.”

She looks at her friends and says, “Did you
guys notice anything?”

They all shake their heads. “No; I was
watching the actors,” Nicole says.

The detective asks them, “Did you stay in
your seats while it was dark?”

They assure him that it was too dark to stand
up, even if they’d wanted to.

He tells them, “Okay. That’s enough. Thank
you for your information. I’ll let you go home now.”

But I want to stay!
Isabella
thinks.

He hands out his card to everyone and says,
“If you can think of anything else, please call me.”

“Okay,” Isabella says.
I hope he doesn’t
rue the day he gave his phone number to me.

He looks at her and says, “You may leave
now.”

Isabella tells him, “It was nice meeting
you.”
That was a weird thing to say,
she tells herself.

He smiles, like he understands her
awkwardness and says, “It was nice meeting you, too.”

Isabella and her friends stand up and collect
their things. As they are walking out, she whispers to Nicole, “I
wish we could stay.”

Nicole says, “Me, too.”

Joshua tells them, “I’m glad he finally let
us leave. I got to get Gunther back home so he can take his
meds.”

Nicole asks him, “Gunther, how are you
feeling?”

“I’m just glad to be out of there. Looking at
that body. It was horrible.”

Nicole says, “I know. It was horrible.”

Gunther shakes her hand and says, “It was
nice meeting you.”

“You, too,” she answers.

He looks at Isabella and says, “It was nice
to meet you, too.”

“Thanks, Gunther. Likewise.”

Joshua tells him to wait in the car while he
walks the ladies to Isabella’s car. When they get to her car, he
whispers to her, “Can I at least kiss you right now?”

“Uh, okay. Sure.”

He puts his arms around her, and presses his
body against hers.
What a time
for a hard-on
,
Isabella thinks. They embrace for a long time and French kiss.
Isabella breaks away and tells him, “You’d better take Gunther
home.”

“Can I come by your house afterwards?”

“I’m really tired,” Isabella says. “Some
other time, okay?”

“Well, okay.”

He looks over at Nicole and says, “Nice to
see you again, Nicole. As always.” He gives her a peck on the
cheek.

“See you later,” she says and he walks back
to his car.

Nicole admires his butt while he is walking
away.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Isabella
scolds her.

“Sorry. I couldn’t help but look. You got to
admit, he sure has a nice bod.”

“Does he? I hadn’t noticed.”

“You’re thinking about that detective, aren’t
you?”

“You know me too well,” she says, clutching
his card like it is a million dollars.

Later that night, Isabella gives up her
battle with insomnia. She is too keyed up from the night’s events
to rest her mind. Between reliving the murder, looking for clues as
to how it happened, and thinking about the detective, sleep is just
not happening tonight. She rises out and bed and walks naked into
the bathroom. She finds some matches in the sink drawer and lights
several candles; then pours her favorite bubble bath into the
running water. Gingerly, she steps into the tub, and lets the water
rise up to her neck as she rests her head on a bath pillow. She
turns off the water, lays her head back down on the bath pillow,
and closes her eyes. Her thoughts turn once again to the detective.
She imagines him with his shirt off, wearing a faded pair of jeans,
with the top button not done up. He is walking towards her. He has
washboard abs and is wearing army dog tags on a chain around his
neck. He slowly unzips his jeans and sheds them on the floor,
showing off a body designed by the Gods. He lets her admire his
package before he steps into the tub to join her. He maneuvers her
body in the tub so that her back is in front of him. He gently
washes her back and rinses it off. He moves the bar of soap to the
front of her body, and starts lathering up her large breasts.
Slowly, he rinses them off with bath water and holds her close to
him, continuing to massage her breasts. He scoots up even closer,
so the she can feel his hardness pressing against her. She turns
around to look at him while he admires her well-endowed body. They
rise up out of the water, caressing each other, as she admires and
fondles his manhood. He gently dries her off and she does the same
for him. He takes her hand and leads her to the bedroom. He lays
her down on the bed and kisses her in all her favorite places. A
bolt of electricity shoots through her, making her quiver with
delight.

Back in the real world, Isabella lets out a
long sigh.
If only
, she tells herself.
How am I going to
get that man into my bathtub? And will I ever even see him
again?

*******

The following morning, Isabella drags herself
out of bed at 10:00. Resisting the urge to drive to Krispy Kreme
and have more doughnuts, she pours herself a bowl of Fiber One
cereal and slices a banana on top before she pours in the milk.
I
am
going to lose weight; I
am
going to lose weight
, she tells
herself.

After she finishes eating, she goes on her
computer to rent “Twilight” from her local “Red Box”.
On the
off-chance I ever see the detective again, I want to talk about the
movie with him--since he mentioned it and all.

She puts on some shorts, a tank top, and
tennis shoes and pins up her unruly hair; then drives over to the
nearest “Ralph’s” and buys some salad fixings, Slimfast, and
non-fat milk. She checks out her rental from the “Red Box” inside,
and returns home. First thing she does after putting the groceries
away is watch “Twilight’’. Her phone rings a few times, and she
lets voice mail pick up.

When the movie’s over, she goes back into the
kitchen and stirs some Slimfast into a glass of milk, trying—with
no luck—to gulp it all down with one swallow. As usual, she didn’t
stir it well enough and chocolate powder remains at the bottom of
her glass. She shakes her head in disgust, and rinses out the
glass. She walks into the living room and pulls out the 1980’s
albums she inherited from her favorite aunt. Her aunt also left her
a turntable to play them on. Whenever Isabella is feeling “the
pangs of unrequited love,” she dusts off the vinyl and puts on a
1980’s album. They just speak to her, somehow. Today’s choice is
Echo and the Bunnymens’ song, “The Killing Moon,” which is about
waiting until you give yourself to him. She lies down on the couch,
and makes herself comfortable, singing along with the record. When
their song “Won’t You Come on Down to My Rescue” plays, she stands
up and starts dancing, imagining that she’s performing a private
dance for the detective, wearing nothing but hooker-shoes. After
she spends over two hours listening to records, she scolds herself:
Look at you. Moonin’ around like a teenager. Act your age,
for
heaven’s sake!

Trying to act more like a grown up, she
prepares herself a big salad and spends the rest of the night
watching “Call the Midwife” and “Downton Abbey” on PBS.

The next morning, she oversleeps. With less
than twenty minutes to get to work on time, she skips breakfast and
quickly puts on some clothes. She is in no mood to talk to Joshua
yet—besides, she didn’t have time to shower—so, she takes the long
way around the courthouse, by the law library and the Wall of
Honor, where the homeless guys camp out.

She ignores their cat calls.
I hate
walking this way.
After opening the back door to the library,
she hurries to her post at the reference desk next to Nicole.

Nicole says, “Where have you been? Joshua and
I called you several times yesterday. We were worried about
you!”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was busy.”

“Busy doing what? Thinking about that
detective? Listening to your aunt’s 1980’s albums again?”

“You know me way too well. Guilty as
charged.”

“Well, you could’ve called, you know.”

“I’m sorry. I set my phone to voice mail and
haven’t had time to check for messages yet this morning.” Isabella
crosses her legs and tries to pull down her short skirt while
saying this.

Nicole notices her doing this and starts
laughing, “Oh, my God, Isabella!” she says, pointing at her
friend’s shoes.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Look at your shoes. You’re wearing two
different ones.”

“Holy crap! Look at me!” They both start
laughing. She says, “Oh, my God! This is what I get for buying two
pairs of black shoes that both have straps that crisscross.”