Water Bound (30 page)
Authors: Christine Feehan
He touched her face, his fingers trailing over her soft skin, her high cheekbones and stubborn chin. “If you’re trying to tell me that you don’t need me or any other man in your life, I’m well aware of it. I’m saying I need you.”
He should have been hesitant, or even embarrassed or ashamed to admit it to her, but he wasn’t. It was now or never. Sink or swim. Live as a human being, or die in the void that had been his life. He wanted out. And Rikki was his savior. He felt it with every fiber of his being.
There was little left of his humanity, just this one small piece that he was handing into her keeping. If she took it, if she chose to allow him to build a new life around her, there was a chance for him. It wasn’t what the experts or the storybooks said was a good or healthy relationship, but it was all there was for someone like him. He needed one human being to see him. He could only afford one. Some higher power had chosen Rikki. Fate. Whatever. It didn’t matter—all that mattered was that he had been offered a chance and he was determined to grab it with both hands.
Rikki’s smile was slow in coming. “Men like you don’t need women like me, Lev. Or any woman, for that matter.”
“You’re exactly what I need.” The pad of his thumb stroked over her lips. “You’re all that I need. I’ve told you I won’t lie to you and I meant lit.”
Rikki took her eyes off the road long enough to look at him. He could see she was skeptical and maybe a little confused. She shook her head and turned her attention back to her driving. “We’re coming up on the back gate and paved road now. This leads through the orchards to the main part of the acreage Lexi farms. We have olive trees over there. We don’t have our own press yet, but we’re part of a co-op that owns a press together.”
“This operation is enormous.”
Her face lit up. “It’s pretty awesome. The farm was in ruins when we took over. You should have seen us out there putting up all the fences and building the homes. Lexi mostly took care of the orchards and began planting crops. We have an amazing greenhouse where we grow all year round. The weather here is too cold for most things during the winter months.”
As if hearing her, the wind picked up and the sky darkened as clouds blew overhead, rolling and churning, heavy with rain. Rikki glanced up and her hands relaxed on the steering wheel. The road widened and he caught a glimpse of a large house off to his left.
“Whose place is that?”
“That’s actually the communal area. We have a gym for working out and a meditation center. Lissa has been working on a training area that’s really nice. You might like to use it if you do that sort of thing.”
He wanted to smile. Sometimes she was like sunshine with her quirky little ways and the things she said or thought. “He drove through your farm, Rikki. How did no one see him?”
“It’s a big place and most of us aren’t home during the day, only Lexi, and she could have been any where.”
They were silent as she drove back to her house and parked the truck. Lev watched her check the ground around the house and each of the windows, taking her time as drops of rain began to fall. She lifted her face to the sky and smiled, holding out her hands as if in welcome. She stood there, focused on the drops, lost in the beauty of individual beads. He found himself caught up in her magic, the childlike awe in her face, her expression one of absolute wonder.
He couldn’t help himself, he reached out telepathically, wanting to share the moment with her,
needing
to feel what she was feeling. Awareness burst through him, soothing, calming—he marveled at such perfection, at the actual feel of cool water on warm skin. He was astonished at the myriad of sensations pouring over and into him. The sky glittered with diamond tears, each more perfect than the last, each one multifaceted. For a moment he was caught up in a fascination with nature, just as she was. He’d never noticed raindrops in detail, nor had he ever paid attention to how they felt on his skin.
needing
to feel what she was feeling. Awareness burst through him, soothing, calming—he marveled at such perfection, at the actual feel of cool water on warm skin. He was astonished at the myriad of sensations pouring over and into him. The sky glittered with diamond tears, each more perfect than the last, each one multifaceted. For a moment he was caught up in a fascination with nature, just as she was. He’d never noticed raindrops in detail, nor had he ever paid attention to how they felt on his skin.
There was a sensual feel to the pattern of drops, or maybe he was so connected to her that, as usual, when he was close to her, his body came alive. Even that was amazing to him—the fact that he could become full and hard without willing himself to do so. Wrapped in the fresh scent of the rain, he stood beside her and lifted his face to watch the wonder of the drops as they came toward him from the sky. They were crystal prisms bursting over his skin like tongues.
This is incredible.
His mind brushed against hers, an intimacy deeper than anything he’d ever known. His left palm itched and without thinking he lifted his hand and rubbed the center with his stubbly beard. Rikki gasped and swung around to face him, breaking the spell of the raindrops. Her eyes were wide with shock.
He stared into her eyes, those dark pools of mystery that intrigued him so much, and then she turned away from him abruptly to unlock the door and let him in. She stepped way back to allow his entry, but as he strode past her, he brushed his hand over her hair. He loved those shiny sun streaks in all that thick, dark hair. She always looked as if the sun had kissed the top of her head, something he seemed to have the impulse to do quite regularly.
It was a strange thing to look into his past, a black void of duty and discipline, to see the seamiest side of the world, to accept his fate, to know he was trained to kill. Never in those years had he considered any other way of living. In fact, the worse the crimes he witnessed, the more he was determined to rid the world of its corrupt and ugly underbelly. He never once thought himself part of that world. He never considered that he might be doing wrong. He followed his orders and he carried them out without question. It was almost as if he had awakened there in the sea, there in the depths of her eyes, as corny as that sounded to him.
Something had changed inside of him and he’d been reborn. His handlers would come, and if they realized he was still alive, they would never stop until they found him. Sid Kozlov had to remain buried at sea, and the new Levi Hammond had to have a past that could stand up to any scrutiny. He stroked his developing beard thoughtfully. Facial hair and a fisherman’s wardrobe would add a layer of protection. If he worked out at sea and remained a recluse as much as possible, laying low for a long time until Hammond was established, he would have a chance at life.
He put the case on the kitchen table in plain sight of Rikki. He wasn’t going to hide anything from her. There had to be one person in the world he trusted enough to give his last shred of humanity to. If she couldn’t accept him, there would be no one else. Behind him Rikki locked the door and leaned against it, her gaze steady, focused on him and not the case.
Lev studied the lock. It appeared to be intact and with no scratches on it. He crouched low to get eye level. He could hear Rikki breathing, slow and steady, but she didn’t move or make any other sound. She simply waited.
He punched in the code and slowly lifted the lid. There was cash, stacks of it, all in American money. Beneath the money were passports and a kit for making additional identities. He put them all aside to reveal two sets of casual clothes. Beneath the clothes were more weapons as well as a small laptop.
“You know how to pack,” Rikki observed, her tone strictly neutral.
He glanced at her as he carefully inspected each weapon before gathering them all together and transporting them to the bedroom. Rikki stepped forward and peered into the briefcase, her hands behind her back, that familiar little frown on her face. Lev found himself smiling all over again as he returned and gently but firmly moved her out of his way by lifting her and placing her a foot to one side.
“You might think about food,” he said.
“You might think about putting that money in the bank,” she countered. “Someone is going to rob you.”
He tossed a grin at her over his shoulder. “Who would that be, Rikki? No one knows about the money.”
“Me. I’m going to rob you. I happen to have a bedroom filled with weapons. I think I could take you,” she added, still staring at the money.
He laughed softly. “I’ll spare you the trouble. If you want it, it’s yours. I’ve got at least four more briefcases stashed with the same sum in them and a bank account I’ve directed money to for years. I’m damn good on a computer, Rikki. When I’ve come across major corporate conspiracies, I’ve managed to redirect the cash flow without anyone being able to trace it.”
She swallowed hard. “You stole money.”
“From criminals.” Usually before he exterminated them. “And I received hefty paychecks for certain assignments.” Ones he would tell her about if she asked, but he sure wasn’t volunteering information. He indicated the money. “Take it if you want it. You certainly have shared with me.”
She shook her head and stepped back. “Don’t joke about things like that. I’m going into the living room.”
It was his turn to frown. He followed her as far as the doorway. She sank down into her favorite chair and began to rock slowly back and forth. He doubted if she was even aware of it. His first instinct was to go to her and kneel down so that he could look into her eyes and see what she was thinking, but with the way she was holding herself, he feared she was already on overload and needed some space.
They hadn’t really been apart for very long since she pulled him out of the ocean. He thought he would have difficulties spending so much time with someone when he’d never done it, yet something had happened to him there in the sea. She was struggling to integrate him into her life and it was obvious that change wasn’t her forte. He went into the bedroom and found her weighted blanket. She didn’t move or look at him while he tucked it around her, but some of the tension went out of her. He stepped back out of the room and left her alone.
He’d never been in a situation where he was unsure of himself. He knew she was drawn to him and their connection was getting stronger, but she was still reluctant at the thought of sharing her peaceful haven with anyone else. He couldn’t blame her; giving up hard-won peace for someone like him was a lot to ask.
He stood over the briefcase, staring down into its contents. Too many names. Which one, if any, was really him? He’d been born Lev Prakenskii, but that boy had disappeared long ago. He should never have given his name as Lev, a distinctly foreign name. He’d told Rikki the truth—they would send someone to confirm his death and he’d left a loose end. Someone—Ralph—had seen Rikki put him in her truck the day the yacht sank. He could try to “push” the memory, but as a rule, sea urchin divers were mavericks, freethinkers, nonconformists, and that made suggestions difficult. Rikki hadn’t responded to his occasional push.
Ralph worked off the platform for a processing company. If he wasn’t a diver, Lev had a chance of making it work. Or he could just kill him. He pressed his fingers to his eyes. How could one shed an old life by starting the new one with the death of an innocent? He swore under his breath. The briefcase brought up a lot of memories he’d rather forget. If he was any kind of a man, he’d walk away from her and leave her untouched by the life he led, but he’d had a taste of freedom, a glimpse of a kind of paradise, and he wanted it so much he couldn’t find the strength to walk away.
He hid the stacks of money in several places and secreted a passport and ID with each stash. His radar went off as he was putting his jeans in her closet. Someone was approaching the house. He stuck his head into the living room. “Rikki? We’re about to have company.”
She pressed her hands to her ears and didn’t look at him, continuing to rock gently back and forth. She stared forward at the large kaleidoscope built into the wall. It was moving, a rolling ocean, waves tumbling and churning. It was one of the coolest things he’d ever seen and he’d have to ask her how it worked. She was totally focused on it and evidently needed to be. He shrugged, checked his gun and headed outside.
Night was falling, and he preferred to be in the shadows where he could see what was coming at him. Most likely it was one of her sisters. He didn’t feel a threat at all, but as always, he remained cautious, stepping back into the darkness, just off the porch. The position offered him a good view of the surroundings as well as the road. He studied the ridge. There was no one up there at the moment, but he expected they would have company soon. The nervous small fires told Lev that Rikki’s stalker wasn’t a patient man.
He recognized Blythe, Rikki’s oldest sister. He knew instinctively that Blythe wielded a lot of power in Rikki’s life. There had not only been love in Rikki’s eyes, but also a deep respect. Her gaze shifted often to the nose of the other sisters, but not Blythe. She looked Blythe in the eye, which to him meant that she believed Blythe could accept her as she was.
He shoved his gun into his waistband at the small of his back and stepped out of the shadows before she pulled into the circular drive. He bent as if checking a hose and straightened slowly, watching as she got out of the car. She flashed him a quick smile. “I brought food. We decided that until you were up and around, we’d take turns cooking for you. Otherwise, you’d be living on peanut butter.”
“That’s very generous of you but not necessary. I can cook...”
“Believe me, Levi, it’s necessary,” Blythe interrupted. “Rikki can’t take a lot of change at once. She needs plenty of time to process and get used to the idea. Her kitchen is sacred to her. It took me months to get her to let me inside to get my own coffee, and after I leave, I’m betting she wipes all the imaginary fingerprints off her cabinets and sink.”
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