Waters Fall (23 page)

“Why should I believe her, though?” he asked himself out loud, trying to justify his behavior. “Why should I believe anything she tells me? She doesn’t deserve my trust.” But his reasoning didn’t make him feel any better, and the fact that she actually was sick, and now crying in there, made him feel even worse.

Swallowing his pride, he headed back inside and poked his head around the screen. Nora was sitting up on the side of her bed blowing her nose, her blanket pulled tightly around her shoulders. “Go away,” she mumbled between sniffles.

“I’m sorry, Nora. What can I do to help you?” Her skin was so blanched, she almost looked blue to him, and he was becoming quite concerned. “Have you taken anything? Do you need some water?”

“I can’t keep anything down, not even water. And pills just come back up with the water.” She rested her forehead in her hand and closed her eyes again. “My head. It’s in a vice. I can’t think. I need to sleep but it hurts so much.”

The way she spoke in choppy sentences around long pauses scared him, and he reached out and pressed the back of his hand to her neck.
“Oh, Baby, you’re burning up. I’m getting you a cold washcloth.” He hesitated briefly, not really comfortable digging around her domain. “In the bathroom, right?”

“Oh no, please. I’m so cold.”

“Nora, you need to break that fever. It’s really bad. I can feel your heat from a foot away.”

“I just need to sleep.” She lay back down, groaning as she
pulled her legs back under the covers. “Go home. Tell the kids, okay? I’ll see them tonight. Or tomorrow.”

Jake stood undecided for another minute,
then made up his mind. “You need to come home, Nora. You’re really sick, and I’m not leaving you here alone.” He found her sandals by the door and brought them back to the bed. She still didn’t respond, so he slipped his hand under the blankets and reached for her feet. “Come on, Nor. Let’s go.” She didn’t resist when he pulled her feet out and took her hand to pull her back up to sitting. She even let him slip her sandals on.

“Thanks,
Jakey.” She croaked, then patted him on the head. “I don’t really want to die alone.”

“Don’t joke like that. Not cool.” He stood up and pulled her with him, not caring that she’d called him
Jakey today. In fact, it was the most tender she’d said his name in a very long time. He tucked her blanket more tightly around her, scooped up her favorite pillow, and shuffled her out the door, grabbing her purse and keys on the way. He helped her up into his truck and settled her in, grimacing at the thought of blankets in the ninety-five degree weather.

She sighed pitifully.
“This heat feels so good. I’m freezing.” He left the air conditioner off, and by the time they reached home, his back was drenched in sweat against the seat cushion. She was curled in on herself, her burning cheek against his shoulder, sound asleep.

Jake helped her to bed,
then he made her take more pain killers with some hot tea he brewed for her. She managed to keep it down this time, and fell asleep with a hot water bottle on her stomach and a cool washcloth on her forehead.

He headed to the neighbors to fill them in on Nora
’s condition and was relieved when the Buckners asked if the kids could go with them to a matinee movie. That would keep them busy for the afternoon, and Nora could sleep undisturbed for a while.

Back at home, he made himself a quick lunch,
then he returned to check on her. She was still asleep, but seemed so restless. He sat down on the edge of the bed and gently stroked her hair away from her face. She murmured something unintelligible and turned on her side, curling her body around him where he sat. She opened her eyes briefly, peering up at him from behind a haze of sleep, and smiled sweetly. “I love you, Jakey.”

28

Nora tried to open her eyes, but it felt like her lids
were weighted down by sandbags. She moaned as she turned onto her side, every muscle resisting her with pain, but she felt certain she was over the worst of it. She’d been in bed for nearly a week, getting up only to use the bathroom. Jake made sure she always had fresh water, cool washcloths, and something for her headaches on hand. He brought her hot tea, and chicken noodle soup when she could handle it. Otherwise, he left her alone.

She preferred it that way; it was another way they were so different. When Jake was ill, he lay on the couch where he could be surrounded by people he loved, and be loved on in return. She, on the other hand, holed up when she felt poorly, rarely showing her face until she was ready to get back to real life. This time was no different in that respect, but she knew she
’d been sicker by far than she could ever remember, at least as an adult, and she was glad Jake had made her come home so he could take care of her.

Jake slept on the couch all week, converting the bedroom into a sick bay. The kids poked their heads in periodically, but he usually made them keep their visits brief. He fielded her
work calls, rescheduled everyone in her appointment book, and called Jo to ask her to check on things at her office. Nora let him call the shots on just about everything except taking her to the doctor. She refused to go anywhere, certain that this was nothing more than a bad case of the flu, complicated by her overly-stressed immune system.

It was Friday afternoon, and even if it killed her, she was determined to take a shower, wash her hair, and go sit outside in the sunshine. Maybe Jake would help her change the sheets and air out the room. She desperately needed some fresh air herself, but even more, she wanted a cup of coffee. That was how she knew she was on the mend.

She sat up, closed her eyes and waited until the room stopped spinning, then carefully made her way across the hall to the bathroom. The shower was sheer heaven this time, and she ran it so hot that she was rather wobbly by the time she stepped out. Undaunted, she dressed slowly, brushed her teeth twice, and headed out to the kitchen in search of caffeine.

Instead she found Jake, Leslie, and Felix, gathered around a map of the Sierra
Nevadas spread out on the table. She smiled at the endearing sight of her little family making their summer plans. “Hey guys,” she said quietly, not wanting to startle them.

“Look! Mom’s up!” Felix clambered off his chair and came running at her.

“Don’t touch her!” Jake yelled at him, causing him to pull up short, shocked at his dad’s tone.

“Jake!”

“Dad!” Nora and Leslie spoke at the same time, their appalled tones melding into one reprimand. A vibrant silence settled around them for just a moment, then Felix burst into tears.

“I’m sorry, Mom. I wasn’t going to hurt you.” He took one more tentative step towards her and stopped, completely undone. “I didn’t mean to.”

Jake hurried to him and put an arm around his son, pulling him close. “Felix, Felix. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just didn’t want you to knock her over with all that love.” He turned and reached a hand toward Leslie who was still hovering near the table. “You, too, Les. Come here. I’m sorry I scared all of you.” Leslie ducked under his arm and ruffled Felix’s hair. Jake looked over at Nora. “And you, too, Nora.” He waited until she was close enough, then he pulled her into his embrace with the kids. “Group hug. Mom’s alive!”

They hugged and giggled and Felix
’s tears dried up quickly. “Do you feel better, Mom?” He still seemed a little afraid to touch her, but she smiled and assured him that she did.

“I am really shaky right now, though. I think I need to sit down. I haven’t eaten much in too long, and if it hadn’t been for your dad pouring chicken soup down my throat, I might have come out of that room as your
mummy
instead of your mommy.” She raised her hands over her head and let her eyes roll back as she stumbled stiffly around the coffee table, moaning, “Come hug me. I’m your mummy.” Then she dropped into Jake’s overstuffed easy chair.

Jake and the kids piled onto the couch, and all three stared at her.
“What?” she asked, feeling a little awkward under their scrutiny.

“Was Daddy a good nurse?” Leslie asked, her eyes hesitantly hopeful, before she looked down at the purple polish she was picking off her nails. Nora waited until she looked up again and smiled at her daughter.

“Yes, honey, he was a most excellent nurse.” She knew Jake was watching her, but she couldn’t bring herself to meet his gaze. She continued for his benefit as much as for Leslie’s. “I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t taken such good care of me. I was pretty sick, you know. I don’t think I could have taken care of myself.” She leaned back and closed her eyes, relishing being out of bed.

“And Mom is still getting over this, kids. She’s pretty weak still, and probably will be for a while. When you’re that
sick, it can take some time to get back to your old self, so just be gentle around her, okay? No charging bulls, Felix.”

“Okay. I’ll be careful around you, Mom, I promise.” Then Felix giggled. “Do you remember what you said on Monday when I came in to see you?”

Nora had to smile at his obvious delight, but she couldn’t remember one day from the next of the beginning of the week, and had no idea what he was talking about.

“Oh Mom!
You were kinda smiling so I thought you were awake even though your eyes were closed so I came closer to talk to you but when I got close I could tell you didn’t really know I was there so I started blowing raspberries to see if maybe you were just joking and you laughed so then I thought you were just joking so I did it again and you smiled but you didn’t open your eyes so I asked you why you were laughing and you told me that you were turning your shirt buttons and the buttons were tooting.” Felix giggled uncontrollably throughout his diatribe. He was notorious for his run-on sentences when telling stories. Like a windup doll, once he got started he just kept going until he ran out of steam.

Leslie called him the Conjunction King.

Felix considered it a compliment.

The kids went on to regale her with some of the more humorous moments of her fever-induced stupor, and they all enjoyed a good laugh at her expense. While Leslie and Felix talked, Jake sat quietly and smiled, looking content and at peace in the moment. Finally, he stood up, interrupting yet another tale of Nora talking in her sleep.

“Would you like some tea?” he asked her.

“Oh, Jake,” she shook her head. “I don’t know if I ever want tea again. I would love to go sit outside in the sunshine and have some coffee, though. Is there any left from this morning?”

“I’ll put on a fresh pot. I have some work I need to finish up, so you kids take your mom out to the back yard and treat her gently. No tether ball competitions today, Nora, you hear?”

“Yes sir!” She grinned and nodded.

~ ~ ~

By evening, Nora was back in bed with a low-grade
fever and a nagging headache. She didn’t feel horribly, but she had to admit that perhaps she had pushed things a little too quickly. That afternoon, she pulled the dirty sheets off the bed herself, not wanting anyone else needlessly exposed to her germs, and put everything directly into the washing machine. Felix dutifully and generously doused the room with antibacterial spray, while Leslie opened the windows and turned the ceiling fan on high. After an hour or two, Nora realized she was running out of steam, so while Leslie and Jake put clean sheets on the bed, she made herself a piece of toast with peanut butter. It was delicious, but her stomach wasn’t used to digesting anything solid and balked. She kept it all down, but only by sheer will power.

Jake insisted that she stay at the house until she was well. She resisted briefly, but only out of a sense of obligation rather than a desire to go back to the cottage alone. She wanted her own bed, their bed, and as she lay shivering in the darkened room, she realized that she wanted Jake there with her. She wanted to feel his arms around her, pulling her snugly up against him, whispering that he loved her one last time before drifting off to sleep.

Tears began to fall as she thought about all the things she suddenly wanted. She wanted her marriage to be fixed, she wanted her children to no longer look at them with eyes full of questions, she wanted her heart to stop hurting when she thought about this last year.

When Jake slipped in to check on her once more before going to bed himself, she somehow worked up the courage to whisper his name.

“Sorry,” he murmured from the end of the bed. “I didn’t mean to disturb you. I’m calling it a night. Do you need anything before I crash?” The light from the hallway was enough for him to see his way around, and he was trying so hard not to make any noise.

“You didn’t disturb me; I was awake already.” She was still whispering, so he moved around to stand on his side of the bed, and leaned over the bed toward her. It was almost as though he was intentionally keeping some distance between them, and she wondered if he was feeling drawn to her, too. She turned onto her side so she didn’t have to look directly up at him, and reached out for his hand where it rested on the mattress. The words she used were his from just a week ago. “Stay here tonight, Jake. I want you to stay.”

He stood so still for so long that Nora began to dread his response. Finally he turned and walked out, leaving her alone in the shadows, her pulse racing, distraught and embarrassed, her stomach flip-flopping for reasons that had nothing to do with the flu. Why on earth had she put them both in such an awkward situation? Why must she be so selfish? Of course he didn’t want to stay with her! For one thing, she was still sick, and he certainly didn’t want what she had. For another thing, she was making plans to leave him, so her request was selfish and unfair.

Jake returned carrying his pillow and blanket and the glass of water he always kept at his bedside. After warning her to shield her eyes, he switched on the lamp on his nightstand just long enough to get situated for the night. Before turning it off, he glanced over at her and grinned. Then the light blinked out.

“Slide over here, Sicko. You’re shivering.” He eased an arm under her shoulders as she turned toward him, and put his hand on her head where it rested on his shoulder. When he felt the dampness from her tears, he asked if she needed a tissue.

“No. I’m okay now. I just thought… I just figured….” Now she was embarrassed.
“Never mind. I’m glad you’re here.”

Jake laughed quietly.
“Did you really think I’d say no to sleeping in my own bed? That couch is comfortable enough for a nap, or even an emergency, but given the choice, I’ll take the bed any time, hands down.” He kissed the top of her head and squeezed her carefully. “Especially since you’re in it, Nora.”

She sniffled and sighed contentedly, her eyes, heavy with fatigue, finally closing. She was beginning to drift when he spoke again; barely a whisper. Maybe she imagined it.

“Do you still love me, Nora?”