We Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (16 page)

Getting out of bed, she crossed to the door and unlocked it.

“What is it?” she asked, finding him standing in the hall wearing only his jeans.

“That couch is old and uncomfortable as hell. It’s killing my back,” he complained.

Jaclyn blinked at him, wondering what he expected her to do about it. She didn’t have an extra bed. And it was his fault they’d stayed out so late, his suggestion that he wait until morning to leave.

“I’m sorry. Do you want to sleep in Alex’s twin? You could carry him to the couch. I doubt he’d know the difference.”

“Actually—” his gaze cut to her bed “—it looks like you’ve got plenty of room in here.”

“What?” Certainly she’d heard him wrong, Jaclyn thought. After everything that had happened between them, he wouldn’t be bold enough to suggest…

“Come on, Jaclyn. It’s been a long time,” he said. “I’ve missed you, babe. Don’t you ever think about us? How it used to be? Remember the first time we made love?”

Jaclyn didn’t want to remember. She’d been so moved, so sure she’d never be that close to another human being—until a few years passed and she realized Terry was trying to share the same experience with half the women in Feld.

“You know what I remember?” she asked. “I remember crying the first time I found out about you visiting whorehouses. I remember wondering why you wanted to go there, what I’d done to let you down.”

He reached out to cup her cheek. “Oh, baby. You never let me down. There’s no one like you. No one. You’re the
only one I’ve ever loved. And you’re great in bed. Don’t think you’re not. I’ve never had anyone who compares.”

“You should know,” she stated flatly, and he scowled as though realizing just how badly that line of reasoning had backfired. He was trying to play on her loneliness and the good times in the past to wiggle his way into her bed again, but his words alienated her even more. If he’d loved her
and
he’d liked the way she was in bed, why had he hurt her so terribly? Why had he destroyed their family?

“Come on. Let’s not start that again,” he said. “It’s behind us, Jackie. Let’s put the past behind us and move on.” He stepped into the room and closed the door with a quiet
click.
“You’ve loved me since we were kids. I don’t know what this thing with Cole is all about, but you certainly didn’t care about him in high school.” He took her by the shoulders. “So I’m thinking you’re just trying to get back at me. And that’s all right. I’m willing to let bygones be bygones. But don’t you think it’s time to stop hurting each other and pull our family back together?”

Jaclyn gazed up at him, wondering if she was seeing him clearly for the first time. Occasionally she’d felt terrible over the past year, thinking of herself as unforgiving and fearing she was hurting him by not coming back. But he didn’t know what pain was. The past fourteen months had been nothing but a big temper tantrum: he didn’t know how to handle not getting what he wanted. Well, he was just going to have to learn.

“I’ve already told you, Terry—”

“That was before,” he argued.

“It’s still true. I’m not coming back.”

She thought he might get angry again and storm out, maybe leave the kids and go back to Feld, but he surprised her by putting his arms around her and slipping his hands down to clench her buttocks.

“Jackie, it’s me. Come on, baby,” he murmured, press
ing her into his erection. “Just one more night. One last hurrah for old times’ sake, huh?”

He started kissing her neck, his lips traveling up toward her mouth, but Jaclyn didn’t feel the smallest flicker of desire. She knew Terry was trying to break her down any way he could. If he couldn’t appeal to her heart or mind, he’d appeal to her body—anything that might help commit her to him again.

“I don’t want this,” she said, shoving at his chest.

Instead of moving back, Terry tightened his embrace.

“Terry, are you listening to me? I don’t want this!” she said.

He lifted his head, and she recognized fury in his face. Here was the Terry she’d dealt with since she left him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Saving yourself for your new man? Is it Cole you want?”

Jaclyn lifted her chin and glared at him. “Maybe.”

“You want to give yourself to that trailer trash? Or is that what you’ve already done?”

“Fortunately that’s none of your business. In any case, I want you to get out. Go to a motel, go back to Feld, I don’t care. Just get out of my house.”

“Why? I haven’t done anything. I tried to show you a good time for your birthday, that’s all. And this is the thanks I get! I’m not going anywhere until the kids wake up. Then they’re coming to Feld with me, just like we planned. Until then—” he walked over and plopped onto her bed “—I’m going to sleep. Right here.”

He stretched out and put his hands behind his head, watching to see what she’d do. Jaclyn was tempted to one-up him by calling the police. She could force Terry out. He had no right to be here. But she didn’t want to wake the kids to an all-out fight. They’d gone to bed happy. She wanted to keep their memories of the night they spent at Circus Circus pleasant. In eight hours or so, Terry would
be on his way to Feld. She needed only to wait until morning.

But she wasn’t going to wait here, with him.

Ignoring the smug look on his face, she left the room and walked swiftly down the hall to retrieve her coat. Then she pulled it on over her flannel nightgown, grabbed her car keys and headed out, barefoot, into the rain.

“Jackie?” She heard Terry call from her room, surprise evident in his voice.

But she didn’t answer. She just closed the door behind her and dashed across the lawn.

H
APPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
…H
APPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
…

Jaclyn shifted on the office couch, trying to curl into a tight enough ball to fit beneath her coat. It was cold, and she was still wet. Why hadn’t she thought to bring a blanket? Mentally she went through the contents of Cole’s closets, trying to remember if he had any spare bedding, but drew a blank. He didn’t buy a lot of extras because he only used his bedroom, the kitchen and his private office. The other rooms were empty.

What a miserable birthday. She hadn’t thought she’d be able to top last year’s, but this one
was
worse. An uncomfortable dinner where she felt as if she was being held hostage by her ex, followed by an enraging argument, then a midnight tromp through the rain to lie on a cold leather couch until morning.

She thought of Cole sleeping peacefully in his bedroom just a few feet away, his body warm beneath a knit blanket and goose-down comforter, and wondered what he’d do if she woke him. She wanted someone to talk to, wanted to pull the day out of the dumps somehow. Or at least borrow a blanket.

Abandoning her coat on the couch, she got up and padded quietly down the hall to Cole’s part of the house. She’d just see how he was sleeping. If he was stirring, she’d let him know she was here. If he wasn’t, she wouldn’t disturb him.

His door stood slightly ajar, but Jaclyn couldn’t hear any
thing coming from inside. Was he home? His car was outside.

She slipped into the room and tiptoed to the bed, where she had to squint to make out his form in the rumpled blankets. Bending close, she watched him for several seconds, admiring his thick dark hair and the handsome contours of his face, before realizing that he was looking back at her.

She jumped and nearly screamed when their eyes met.

“Jaclyn, is it you?”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I wanted to wake you, but…”

“It’s okay.” He paused. “What are you doing here?”

She shrugged. “It’s my birthday.”

“Oh.” He scrubbed his face with one hand, then rolled from his stomach to his side. “Do I want to know why you’re standing in my room wearing your nightgown, or does that fall under the heading of looking a gift horse in the mouth?”

Jaclyn didn’t really want to go into it. She didn’t want to think about Terry or real life or anything else right now. “I—I had to leave home without my clothes,” she said simply.

“Is everything all right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then, I definitely don’t have a problem with a pajama party.” A grin tugged at the corners of his lips. He came up on one elbow, and Jaclyn couldn’t help but admire the muscles that bulged in his arm or the large expanse of bare chest his movements suddenly exposed to her view. “But I admit I’m afraid to ask what you want, in case it isn’t what I’m hoping.”

The thrill of anticipation put Jaclyn’s nerves on full alert, and the song she’d been singing to herself earlier seemed to turn into a full-blown chorus,
Happy birthday to me…Happy birthday to me…Happy birthday, dear Jackie…

“What are you hoping?” she asked, silently willing her heart to stop knocking against her chest.

“Are you tired?”

“Not really.”

“Are you cold?”

She nodded.

“Do you want to get in here with me?”

Jaclyn took a deep, shaky breath. Did she want to get into bed with him? That was a two-sided question, of course. There was want. And then there was reason. She should really ask him for the blanket and head back to the couch….

When she hesitated, he pulled back the covers. He wore only a pair of boxer-briefs, and she easily imagined what his warm body would feel like wrapped around her.

“Come on, Jackie. I’ll keep you warm,” he said.

“My nightgown’s wet from the rain.”

His gaze never wavered from her face. “Take it off.”

Oh boy!
Jaclyn swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. This was a far cry from borrowing a blanket. But her birthday had been miserable so far. Certainly she could let her guard down long enough to enjoy some part of it. “Whatever happens, it doesn’t count, though, right?” she said, wavering.

“What does that mean?”

“It’s my birthday. I’m entitled to certain indulgences.”

“So what happens tonight is completely off the record?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, I’ll buy that.”

“And you won’t ever mention it again?”

“If that’s the way you want it.”

That
was
the way she wanted it. She wanted to wake up in the morning and pretend nothing had happened. How else could she justify what she was about to do? “You won’t think things have changed between us? You won’t treat me differently?”

“No. Definitely not.”

His voice sounded hoarse, making Jaclyn wonder if he was to the point of saying almost anything to get what he wanted. But she was nearly at that point, too. So she closed her eyes and inched up her nightgown, then quickly pulled it over her head and slipped into the warm spot he made for her by sliding over. His arms went around her and pulled her to him, putting a quick end to her shivers, and Jaclyn thought she’d never felt anything so indescribably wonderful in her whole life.

“You feel good,” he whispered, then his mouth came down on hers and she gave herself to the moment, easily forgetting every thought that wasn’t centered completely on Cole Perrini. She loved the way he touched her, the way he smelled and tasted and moved. And deep down she knew she’d never experience anything to compare with the moment his body melded into hers.

Sometime later, with Cole’s arm holding her possessively to him while he slept, she smiled as, in the back of her mind, she heard the rest of the song:
…Happy birthday to me!

C
OLE STRETCHED
,
lingering somewhere between consciousness and unconsciousness. He felt good.

No, he felt great.

With Jaclyn curled beside him, he was almost too content to move. Except that he couldn’t waste the opportunity to touch her. Rolling toward her, he buried his face in her hair and breathed in her sweet scent, then kissed her neck. He was going to make love to her for the fourth—or was it the fifth?—time. Then, if they could convince themselves to get out of bed, he was going to take her to breakfast. After that he was going to buy her a birthday present. And then they were going to the drugstore for another box of condoms.

But first he was going to answer the door. Someone was banging like a madman.

Jaclyn stirred when he pulled away. “What is it?” she asked.

“It’s got to be Chad,” he told her. “He probably lost his key. Keep sleeping. I’ll take care of it and be right back.”

She murmured an assent and burrowed deeper into the covers, while he pulled on a pair of sweat pants. He lingered for a moment, watching her and promising himself he’d get rid of Chad right away, then slipped out of the bedroom and closed the door behind him.

When he reached the front office, he was especially glad he’d taken the precaution of protecting Jaclyn’s privacy, because it wasn’t Chad. Terry Wentworth stood on the porch. Behind him, in the street, Alex, Mackenzie and Alyssa were peering through the windshield of their father’s truck.

Cole waved to the kids, purposely keeping things as pleasant as possible, then leaned against the doorjamb to bar Terry from entering. “What’s up?” he asked.

“I want to talk to Jackie.”

If Terry thought Cole was going to embarrass Jaclyn by dragging her to the office door wearing something of his or her own flannel nightgown, he was crazy. “I’m afraid that’s not possible.”

“Why not? I know she’s here.” He pointed to Jaclyn’s Sable. “That’s her car, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but she’s sleeping.”

Terry’s hands curled into fists. “In your bed?” he asked, his voice grating low.

Cole studied him for a moment, running through the possibilities of where this conversation might lead. “Do you really want to know?”

“I want to see her.”

“You can leave her a message if you want.”

“A message? Who the hell do you think you are? I have her kids in the car, dammit. Now let me talk to her!”

Cole stood up straight and stepped outside, closing the door behind him. He had several inches and a few pounds on Terry, and he wanted him to know it. “The way I look at it, they’re your kids, too, Terry,” he said, keeping his voice low. “And this is your weekend. I suggest you follow the plan and head to Feld. You can talk to Jaclyn when you get back.”

Terry’s eyes narrowed. “I’m going to be busy this weekend. I don’t think I can take the kids.”

So Terry wanted to play games, did he? “No problem. Send them in. I’ve been wanting to take Alex to the stock car races. Maybe we’ll go tonight,” he said. Then he smiled benignly as he watched Terry sift through his options. If he took the kids, Jaclyn and Cole would be alone. If he didn’t take the kids, Cole would have his ex-wife
and
his children for the weekend.

Apparently Terry decided to cut his losses.

“No, I’ll manage.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“Whatever you’ve got going with Jaclyn, it won’t last,” Terry told him. “Maybe I’ve been stupid and chased her right into your arms, but she’ll come back to me eventually. You’ll see.”

“Maybe,” Cole said. “But until then, you need to understand something. She’s not alone anymore. You mess with her, you’re going to be messing with me.”

Stiff with rage, his hands still bunched into fists, Terry glared at him, but Cole was no longer worried that he’d start throwing punches. Terry liked better odds. If he was going to fight, he would have done it last weekend when he had friends to help him.

“Is that some sort of threat?” Terry asked.

“Take it how you want to,” Cole told him. “I’ve never liked a bully.”

Alex honked the horn, and Terry threw an irritated glance over his shoulder. “This isn’t over yet,” he promised.

“Your kids are waiting,” Cole said, but it wasn’t until a few seconds later, when Chad pulled up, that Terry finally stalked away.

J
ACLYN WOKE UP SCARED
.
She was lying in Cole’s bed alone, completely naked, with only a nightgown to wear home. And she knew she’d made a big mistake, one that would cost her dearly. What had she been thinking when she’d slipped into Cole’s room? That she could handle him better than all the other women he’d known? That she could somehow escape the heartbreak loving a man like him would bring? She’d asked him for promises in the night—that what they were doing wouldn’t change anything, that morning would come and everything would be just the same as it always was—and he’d given them. But already things were different.
She
was different. How could she be the same after making love to a man who could mean the whole world to her if she let him?

What am I going to do?

She listened to the hum of two male voices as Cole spoke with someone outside. She couldn’t hear what was being said, but she could easily picture Cole—the way he talked, the way he stood.

What a fool I am.
She’d told him she believed in no kind of togetherness short of marriage and then she’d turned around and done this! Worse, she’d allowed herself to fall in love with the wrong man—again. A man who didn’t want marriage or kids. And even if she managed to change his mind, she knew his history.

She must have been completely mad.

But that didn’t mean she had to let the situation get the best of her, did it? She’d gone through too much in the
past year to tumble into the same pit she’d just climbed out of.

Scrambling from the bed, Jaclyn pulled on the flannel nightgown she’d tossed on the floor the night before and tiptoed to the bedroom door. She couldn’t tell who was with Cole, but she knew they were outside, probably in the front yard. Should she simply sneak out the back, wait until the coast was clear and drive away? She could show up for work on Monday as usual, pretend last night hadn’t happened. And why not? Cole had promised her that nothing would change. She’d just have to hold him to it.

Only, sneaking away seemed so cowardly. Wouldn’t it be better to face him? Apologize for her mistake and move on?

Of course. They were adults. They could handle this maturely.

The front door opened and closed, and Jaclyn heard Cole’s footsteps in the hall. Throwing her shoulders back, she told herself she could fix things, get back on track. She had to.

“Hey, you’re up,” he said, smiling as soon as he saw her. He was barefoot and bare-chested, his hair was standing up in places, he had a day’s growth of beard on his jaw—and he looked incredibly sexy.

“Chad stopped by, but I got rid of him. You hungry?”

Something about the look on Jaclyn’s face must have given her away, because his smile faltered. “Is something wrong?” he asked.

She cleared her throat. “No, not really. Um, I’ve got to get going. I’ve got a lot to do today.”

He’d been walking toward her as though planning to put his arms around her or kiss her good-morning or something, but at her words, he froze several steps away. “You’re leaving? Already?”

Jaclyn licked her lips. “Yeah, you know, it’s Saturday.”

“That’s why I thought you might be able to stay. The
kids are in Feld with Terry. I wanted to take you out to breakfast.”

“Not today.”

Doubt entered his eyes, and his smile disappeared completely. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” She tried a smile of her own and prayed it looked more convincing than it felt. “It’s just that it’s time to get back to reality, don’t you think?”

“Get back to reality? What happened last night wasn’t real?”

“It was real,” Jaclyn said, plucking nervously at her nightgown. “But you promised me it wouldn’t change anything.”

“I never dreamed you were serious about that. How could it not change anything?”