We Will Destroy Your Planet (18 page)

How the humans you encounter when you arrive on Earth will react to you will depend upon a number of varied factors: how human your species is, whether you are openly extraterrestrial or extra-dimensional, how openly hostile you are, how religious the human is, which culture the human is from, and how educated the human is.

In fact, reports and stories about the arrival of visitors from offworld are so much a staple part of human society from its earliest development that it may actually count as an advantage, as the native population is already preconditioned to view such arrivals as relatively normal.

On the downside, most of these tales, especially over the past century or so, have been produced with a rather tribal defensive tone, in which the arriving species are invariably treated as hostile and exploitative. While the reason for this is in fact rooted in human society's past – in which many of their earlier-developing civilizations destroyed or exploited the ones that were less developed – you may find that this all-pervasive image colours the native expectation of you and leads to the belief that you will be attempting conquest, even if you are not.

If you
are
planning a conquest of the Earth, that won't matter, although it may interfere with any plans you have to pretend otherwise as part of a scheme to lull the native authorities into a false sense of security.

It has always been possible that certain types of religiously minded humans would consider you to be gods, angels, demons, or some other form of supernatural entity. This is especially the case if your appearance matches local legends and beliefs about such beings (e.g. you have wings, horns on your forehead, etc), or if you are more geared towards the use of innate natural and biological abilities rather than purely mechanistic technology.

It is obviously best to make your first contact with humans under carefully controlled conditions and ideally well before actually launching your campaign of attack.

In fact, you should be studying them as part of the research phase of your advance planning. Monitor and observe them first, test them, and finally isolate and acquire subjects for testing and interrogation. You may find yourself viewing these subjects simply as lower animals suitable for physical and intelligence testing, to see what kills them, and how they'll react to stimuli, but you should always remember that they are, by some standards, sentient, and so can give you information on their attitudes, plans, and psychology.

Currently, most of the population of Earth, certainly in developed industrialized societies, are perfectly
au fait
with the idea of visitors from other planets and dimensions, thanks to the propaganda called science fiction. Let us make no mistake, much of this type of literature and art is indeed propaganda, telling as it does stories of how almost-invariably hostile aliens are constantly attempting to conquer or destroy the Earth. Even when the stories are about humanity visiting other worlds, they tend to focus on the idea of the aliens found there being evil, and humanity having a duty to try to defeat them, for its own sake.

This is both a blessing and a curse – and may even be a motive, if you've picked up television transmissions from Earth over the past 60 years or so – for those who seek to conquer the planet. It is a blessing because it means the populace have an understanding of the intricacies of space travel, and the fact that they are not the only life in the universe; it is also a curse because it has preconditioned human society and individuals to view alien visitors to the planet as hostile.

This means that establishing trust, however false, in order to leverage surprise, is a much harder job than it might otherwise be. Whether this is actually a deliberate strategy on the part of a media complex in a position (and with a desire) to affect and control the minds of the populace is unclear. There have been other stories released into society that feature friendly or beneficial aliens, so perhaps it is all one big coincidence. If not, then clearly some of you are ahead of the game, as it would make excellent strategic sense in the battle for the hearts and minds of the populace for you to have inserted your own propaganda into the Earth's media, in order to moderate the levels of preprogrammed hostility you might otherwise face.

There are standard protocols for abducting humans from Earth for either interrogation or scientific study. The guidelines are quite simple, and most species should have little difficulty following them. Those of you originating from other time zones or parallel worlds should feel free to follow the same protocols as part of your pre-attack reconnaissance, safe in the knowledge that witnesses and interrogation subjects will assume your actions to have been committed by space travellers.

In particular, the most likely scapegoats will be grey humanoids with large eyes, thought to be from the vicinity of the Zeta II Reticuli star system. Both of these elements actually have purely terrestrial origins (see
text box
), but in the unlikely coincidental event that any of you
are
large-eyed grey humanoids from the Zeta II Reticuli star system, you will be getting blamed for everybody else's actions, which must be a motive for anger.

Note that if you intend to capture actual humans for interrogation or study as part of a pre-invasion reconnaissance programme, it is not strictly necessary to kill the specimens in order to protect your plans or intentions. In fact, among certain terrestrial societies, the study of random specimens by extraterrestrial visitors is considered a relatively normal occurrence, at least when the typical protocols are followed. Killing them is still the most secure precaution, though, unless you want to fit them with some form of monitoring device, parasite, or mind control apparatus, with which you can use your abductees to learn more during reconnaissance missions, or to conduct operations which you yourself are too nonhuman to get away with.

If you are able to create some sort of duplicate of the test subject – whether it be a robot, clone, plant replica grown in a pod, or some other type of doppelganger, then you should do so, for intelligence-gathering, fifth column duties, and to generally allay suspicion in case, despite your best efforts in selection, they will be missed by someone.

You should look for humans in remote areas, and ones who will not be missed. Hermits, the homeless, individuals on long journeys far from home, and so on.

Firstly, make sure your chosen subject
is
, in fact, a human. Quite apart from the fact that there are many related hominid ape species on the planet, which share a common evolutionary ancestor with humanity, the preponderance of mammalian life in general on the surface of the planet could cause some confusion.

Humans tend to be bipedal and relatively hairless. It's embarrassing enough to have accidentally beamed up an orang-utan or chimpanzee, but there have been many reports from farmers on Earth reporting that their cows and horses have been abducted by aliens. That said, there is also good reason to take sample subjects of other terrestrial species for study. You may wish to compare their biologies, test them as suitable food sources, or even prefer their company to that of more troublesome humans.

Once you have confirmed that your chosen subject is human, and not, for example, a cow, the abduction process should be fairly simple. Since reconnaissance should occur before humanity in general is aware of your presence, isolated individuals should be chosen, to minimize the risk of witnesses or resistance. The subject should be taken either from their sleeping quarters (humans generally sleep singly or in pairs, so these are appropriate numbers) or from a ground vehicle subjected to EMP attack. A small ground vehicle is best, because it again will typically contain one or two humans, and larger vehicles or aircraft will carry with them more danger of witnesses and discovery.

The vehicle approach is recommended. On Earth, only humans will be in control of vehicles, so there is no room for confusion. Simply choose a ground vehicle that is moving in or towards a remote area with no other travellers. Descend in a suitable vessel, stop the vehicle with an EMP burst, and remove the occupants for study.

You should either teleport your abductee into a space vehicle, or carry them there by anti-gravitational means. If you do not have antigravity, then ensuring that the subject is in an altered state of consciousness – by chemical, sonic, or electromagnetic means – will give them the same effect. Your subject should be immobilized but conscious throughout, so that they can respond to our questions, and their brain chemistry responses to different stimuli can be studied without danger of resistance or escape.

All clothing should be removed for separate study. Feel free to poke, prod and probe unnecessarily, as this will be expected. Having chosen a human who will not be missed, you should dispose of them now, or at least ship them to your homeworld or another planet within your sphere of influence where they can be useful in some way.

If it is for some reason important to you to return the subjects, you should replace them in their sleeping quarters or vehicle afterwards. Their complete disappearance will arouse suspicion, and potentially actions against you, but their abduction and return will simply be considered normal, or dismissed as a figment of their imagination.

When you are ready to return your subjects to their sleeping quarters or vehicle, you should take action to suppress their immediate short-term memory, in order to prevent them from either going in to immediate shock, or taking hostile revenge actions. This can be accomplished by either chemical or electromagnetic means. If you are using chemical means, something with a fresh citrus taste will be more readily accepted.

It is quite likely that the subjects will remember the events on a subconscious level, which can be accessed later by hypnosis. This is not undesirable, as you will want to maintain any bond and familiarity that has formed in previous encounters when you return for subsequent studies.

Around 65–70% of the human body is actually water, and the elements that compose it are, in the main, oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium and phosphorus. A total of 20% of the average human is in the form of proteins, and 1–2% lipids, which should make them quite nutritious when freeze-dried.

Carbohydrates are in the form of glycogen and glucose, while other factors include sodium, potassium, amino acids, and fatty acids.

If you do intend to make use of the nutritional value of humans, you must be very sure to keep this fact from them. Any evidence of intent, or documentation to this effect, must be disguised as being intended for other purposes. Recipe files, for example, should be encrypted, perhaps as some form of diplomatic instructions.

Maintaining the health and fitness of your captives/slaves/subjects on any space voyage, whether to your homeworld or other locations in which you have an interest and a need for humans, is something you will need to think about before initiating any such programme.

The human body is entirely adapted to existence on the Earth's surface, in an upright position, and long-term exposure to microgravity in space has negative effects on it.

In particular, you will find that your humans experience some muscular atrophy and bone decalcification – osteopenia. You will need to ensure your humans maintain an exercise regimen to counteract the muscular atrophy, while mineral supplements and elasticated pressure suits should help compress the limbs and slow the process of osteopenia. Their cardiovascular systems will also slow, as less blood pressure is required to pump blood to the upper parts of the body, and this may affect those who have cardiac arrhythmia.

Almost half of humans – 45% – also suffer from what NASA calls space adaptation syndrome, and is a form of motion sickness caused by the fluids in the inner ear changing distribution. This results in dizziness and vomiting, but fortunately has been observed to last a maximum of 72 hours, and no longer. Nevertheless, you will need to be prepared for cleaning of biohazardous materials.

Other effects and problems your humans may suffer include anaemia – a decrease in red blood cells – fluid redistribution around the fatty tissues of the body, and, doubtless to the embarrassment or amusement of the humans, excess flatulence as gas is redistributed.

All of these problems are purely temporary, and will resolve themselves when the affected human is returned to a surface with stable gravity. Recent research by the Earth's space flight authorities, however, has shown that there may be risks of more permanent damage, in particular to the eyesight, and to some of the brain's pathways. It has recently been suggested that prolonged exposure to microgravity may in fact hasten the development of deteriorative brain conditions such as Alzheimer's disease.

In order to prevent these problems, it is advisable to make sure that the environment on board any transport starships you use is suitable for human cargo/passengers. Ideally, some form of artificial gravity should be used. Failing that, it would be best to house the humans – and, indeed, any other live specimens from Earth, in a rotating section of the ship, in order that centrifugal force should provide the appropriate effects.