Weapons of Mass Seduction (30 page)

“Only in that you needed to find the wisdom to go with your sexy new persona. And you did,” Pia said, giving her a gentle squeeze on the arm. “There's no sexier combo than brains and a body, and now you've got both.”

“Thanks. Okay, you go, Flo. I'm guessing lion all the way,” Becca said.

“It was the big Texas hair,” Flo quipped, ripping open a box containing a pair of electric blue satin panties with “Bold Is Sexy” on them.

“They aren't hot pink, but—” Pia apologized.

“They're perfect. And you are absolutely right. I might be as loud as a lion, but I was a real scaredy-cat when it came to gettin' what I wanted out of my life. I had to find the courage to step away from a marriage that wasn't fulfillin'.”

“This is fun,” Becca said, laughing. “And what about you, Pia?”

Pia unwrapped her box to reveal “Love Is Sexy” sewn across the front of a fuchsia-colored thong. “I'm like the tin man. I needed a heart.”

“And that you definitely got,” Flo remarked.

“It's crazy. I was so mad that Dee tricked me into attending the Weapons of Mass Seduction workshop. And I had such an attitude. I knew I was rusty, but I really thought I already had and knew it all when it came down to the whole sensuality, flirting, sex thing. But I was so wrong.

“Before the celibacy, I wore the underwear and a signature scent, I lit the candles and sprinkled the rose petals, and once setting my sights on a guy, I knew how to work it until he was in my bed. But what I realized after the workshop was that I was basically just setting the stage and playacting.

“I came to WMS a know-it-all. But when I came home, life sent me on a journey to learn it all, and now hopefully I'll spend the rest of my days living it all.”

“Here, here,” Flo said, raising her glass.

“Flo, maybe you can trade with Pia for the thong. It's pink,” Becca suggested.

“Darlin', I may have dropped a ton or two, but my butt still is not thong-ready. First we're gonna have to address the twin canyons I got gracin' not one but both cheeks.”

“Well, ladies, it looks like we are fully evolved weapons of mass seduction,” Pia proclaimed.

“That's right. Look out, world! We got heart, we got brains, we got courage, and sexy drawers to boot!”

“And we are definitely not in Iowa anymore!” Becca chimed in as they each stood up and twirled their panties in lacy salute.

The Sensual You Self-Test

1. Shopping, you fall in love with a fur vest. You're not sure if it's real or faux, so you:

 

a) Bury your nose in it and smell.

 

b) Run your fingers through it.

 

c) Check the label.

 

2. Given a free hour, you would:

 

a) Get a massage.

 

b) Listen to music.

 

c) Clean the house.

 

3. You're staying at a swanky resort with forty minutes until checkout. You decide to enjoy the balcony and catch a few rays. Do you:

 

a) Strip down au naturale?

 

b) Lie out in your clothes and let your face get sunkissed?

 

c) Find some shade and recheck your itinerary?

 

4. You're in the elevator on your way up to an important meeting. A sexy, suggestive song is playing. How does the music affect your mood?

 

a) You'd get into the music and exit feeling energetic and aroused.

 

b) You'd briefly enjoy the music and the mood and memories it evokes and then put your game face back on.

 

c) You're totally focused. Your mood wouldn't be affected at all.

 

5. The first thing you notice about a new acquaintance is:

 

a) The tone and timbre of his voice.

 

b) His physical appearance, body, and wardrobe.

 

c) What he adds to the conversation.

 

6. Which of the following have you done in the past month? (Circle all that apply.)

 

a) Put on perfume, even though it wasn't a special occasion.

 

a) Taken a long, candlelight bath.

 

b) Tried a new food.

 

b) Listened to music other than when driving in a car or doing chores.

 

c) Sorted your sock drawer.

 

c) None of the above.

 

7. How do you feel about public displays of affection?

 

a) Love them. Any place, any time.

 

b) I enjoy them where appropriate.

 

c) Please. Get a room.

 

8. What qualities are you most looking for in a lover?

 

a) Passion and adventure.

 

b) Looks and humor.

 

c) Stability and wealth.

SENSUALITY SCALE

SUPERSENSUAL
(Mostly A's): You are a pleasure-driven individual. You enjoy living life through your senses. Because your senses are usually linked to your emotions, you are inclined to be emotionally passionate. Your lifestyle allows you to experience a life of maximum pleasure, but it's important to keep yourself in check, because the search for pleasure can be addictive. So to find happiness, seek balance. Too much of a good thing isn't always so good. But when properly directed, you have the innate ability to use your senses to thoroughly enjoy everything this life has to offer.

 

SOLIDLY SENSUAL
(Mostly B's): You have found a balance between absolute self-denial and complete indulgence. You are able to enjoy and even lose yourself in the sensual aspects of life, but you aren't totally pleasure-driven and know how to keep your emotions balanced. You are able to stay focused and to persevere, even while acknowledging the sensory pleasures around you. Continue to live in the moment and you will intensify your sensual side.

 

TOO SENSIBLE TO BE SENSUAL
(Mostly C's): You are not a very sensual person and probably enjoy more intellectual or practical pastimes. You appear to be tenacious, persistent, and goal-oriented. Like the supersensual, you need balance. You can expand your pleasure quotient by getting out of your head and exploring your world through your senses and by acknowledging how your body feels at any given time. You have only one life, so just make sure that you are not missing out on some sensual pleasures of the moment by always trying to understand.

The Flirt Test

1. What's your most important flirting tool?

 

a) Your body.

 

b) Your personality.

 

c) Your smile.

 

d) Not sure if you have one.

 

2. The last touch you add before leaving for a party is:

 

a) Glossy lipstick that draws attention to your mouth.

 

b) A funky, quirky handbag.

 

c) A charm bracelet that sparkles and jingles when you gesture.

 

d) A breath mint.

 

3. You see a man you'd like to meet. You:

 

a) Sit where he can see and enjoy your come-hither eye contact.

 

b) Pass him a joke sans the punch line, with the suggestion he come over to hear the rest.

 

c) Have a friend go tell him you'd like to meet him.

 

d) Wait until he leaves and ask a friend later who the person was.

 

4. You and your lover are sitting across from each other at dinner. He is seductively maintaining eye contact. What do you do?

 

a) Immediately ask for the check and get to a private place ASAP.

 

b) Hold his gaze and seduce him right back before playfully sticking out your tongue.

 

c) Stare back for a while, smile seductively to let him know you're feeling him, and then look away.

 

d) Start talking so he'll stop staring. All that gawking is uncomfortable.

 

5. A man offers to buy you a drink. You ask for:

 

a) Sex on the Beach.

 

b) The same beer he's having.

 

c) Champagne—it's flirty and sophisticated.

 

d) Tell him no thanks, and buy your own drink.

YOUR FLIRTING STYLE

SEXY FLIRT
(Mostly A's): You're a woman who sees what she wants and takes it. You've got all the right tools in your bag of tricks, and you know the signs and signals to attract what you want when you want it. In the right dose, you are pure power. Be careful about taking your sexy flirtation too far. Being too sexually overt can cause a multitude of things to occur: you can embarrass yourself, make other women dislike you, and make promises to men you don't intend to keep.

 

AMUSING FLIRT
(Mostly B's): Your allure is your quick wit and wicked sense of humor. You can feel at home in a sports bar or at a poker game. You entice a man by making him feel comfortable around you. And though your “buddy” approach is less direct than those of other femme fantastiks, it can be just as disarming. By not playing the games other girls play, you lower his guard, and before he knows it, he's hooked. But watch that you don't become one of the guys. Find ways to let him know there is a lusty woman sitting beneath that Jets jersey.

 

ADORABLE FLIRT
(Mostly C's): You've got a sparkle about you that attracts attention as soon as you enter a room, but you prefer not to be too aggressive when you meet a man who interests you. Instead, you tend to be subtler in your seduction, sweetly letting him know you're interested but letting him initiate the pursuit. By allowing this man to feel like a man, you're respecting his feelings and protecting your own reputation. With this light approach, know exactly what you want so your feelings are clear to him. Otherwise, you may be left smiling by yourself while some devastating diva walks away with your man.

 

FLIRTING FLOP
(Mostly D's): Ouch! You're flirtability quotient is dangerously low. And lack of confidence may be the enemy lurking within. Remember the golden rule of flirting: People find you attractive when you make them feel attractive. So concentrate on making your object of desire feel special and watch your confidence soar as he returns the favor. Now get out there and practice. You'll be successfully flirting in no time.

The Red Hot Night Sensuality Questionnaire

K
nowing what turns your senses on is the key to planning a sexually sensual evening. Take a minute to answer the following questions for both yourself and your partner and use this information to plan and ignite a red hot night.

1) My/his favorite color is:

2) The fabric I/he like(s) touching my/his body is:

3) I/he love(s) the smell of:

4) My/his favorite musical instrument is:

5) My/his favorite food is:

6) My/his favorite vacation spot is:

7) My/his favorite body part of his/mine is:

8) Given a free hour I/he would rather:

a) Watch TV.

b) Listen to music.

c) Try a new recipe.

d) Get a massage.

About the Author

L
ORI BRYANT-WOOLRIDGE is a fifteen-year veteran of the television broadcast business and the recipient of an Emmy Award for Individual Achievement in Writing. She is the author of the bestselling novels
Hitts & Mrs.
and
Read Between the Lies
and is a contributor to several top anthologies, including
Gumbo: An Anthology of African American Writing
. She is also a founding member of the Femme Fantastik Tour. She lives in South Orange, New Jersey, with her family. Visit her Web site at
www.loribryantwoolridge.com
and the WMS blog at
www.weapons-of-mass-seduction.blogspot.com
.

ALSO BY LORI BRYANT-WOOLRIDGE

Hitts & Mrs.

Read Between the Lies

PUBLISHED BY HARLEM MOON

Copyright © 2007 by Lori Bryant-Woolridge

All Rights Reserved

Published in the United States by Harlem Moon, an imprint of The Doubleday Broadway Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
www.harlemmoon.com

HARLEM MOON
,
BROADWAY BOOKS
, and the
HARLEM MOON
logo, depicting a moon and a woman, are trademarks of Random House, Inc. The figure in the Harlem Moon logo is inspired by a graphic design by Aaron Douglas (1899–1979).

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA

Bryant-Woolridge, Lori.

Weapons of mass seduction / by Lori Bryant-Woolridge.—1st ed.

p. cm.

1. African American women—Fiction. 2. Female friendship—Fiction. I. Title.

PS3573.O6863W43 2007

813'.54—dc22

2006034828

eISBN: 978-0-7679-2784-0

v3.0