Welcome to Last Chance (27 page)

“Wait. Let me say it first. I was a total idiot to go to Juarez with Steven. I know it. I guess I knew it before we even got out of town. But Ray, I've always been that way. The quickest way to get me to do something is to tell me I can't do it.” She smiled up at him, hoping to coax a smile in return. But Ray just looked sad.

“Yeah, well, I was wrong. But going to Juarez, and with Steven, was such a bad idea on so many levels. And you weren't hearing me, so maybe I got a little heavy-handed.”

Lainie searched for a rebuttal and came up empty. Ray waited a second, then continued talking. “Then when you didn't come home when you said you would, and didn't even call . . .”

“But we tried to call. Didn't Manny or Elizabeth or anyone tell
you that? Steven left a message on Fayette's phone. We didn't know she wasn't in town.”

Ray shrugged. “I waited up for you, you know. I thought maybe if I left the lights on in the bar you might stop by and let me know you were home safe.”

Lainie looked away. She was afraid if she tried to speak the lump in her throat would choke her.

“When the hours went by and you didn't come, every news story that has come out of Juarez in the last year played through my mind like a piece of video.” Ray's laugh was short and bitter. “I actually found myself hoping that you and Steven had just checked into a motel somewhere.”

Lainie grabbed both his hands. “Oh, Ray, how could you think that? Steven? Don't you know how I feel?” Ray just looked at her, and Lainie took a deep breath. For once, her first thought wasn't her own protection. Too much was at stake. “I never even wanted to go to Juarez with Steven. Don't you know that? I just did it because you told me not to, and I know that was stupid. Can you forgive me? All I thought about the whole time we were gone was how much I wanted to be here with you. And on our way home, every milepost we passed made me even more eager to get here and tell you so. For the first time in my life, I actually felt like I was going home.” She searched his face looking for a sign of forgiveness, but the pain there was etched even deeper.

“Lainie, come here.” He led her to the sofa, and they sat facing each other. “I need to tell you that I'm leaving Last Chance.”

“Leaving? Where?”

“I'm going to Santa Fe. You know I had planned to leave when Steven took over the bar. My life's been on hold long enough. I'm done. I just told him he can run the bar, close it up, or burn it down. I don't care. I'm out of here.”

“When?” Lainie's voice came as a whisper.

“Now. Today. I cleaned out the trailer yesterday, and now I'm going to pack up the paintings I've finished and get the rest of my stuff from the cabin. Then I'll hit the road.”

Lainie tried to will her heart to turn back into ice, but it was too late. Tears spilled over her lashes. “I said I was sorry. You know nothing happened. I told you I wished I had never gone.”

Ray gripped her hands. “But you did go, Lainie. And you went just to spite me. I can't do this anymore. I can't hang around here waiting for Steven to get his life together and you to figure out what you want.”

“I do know what I want. I've been trying to tell you.” Lainie couldn't be sure Ray heard her whisper. He had reached for the package he had brought in, and his back was to her.

“Here. This is for you. I brought it down last Sunday and was looking for the right time to give it to you.” His laugh was short and bitter. “I guess now's as good a time as any.”

Lainie pushed the tears off her cheek with the heel of her hand and tore the brown paper away from the canvas. It was the view from Ray's cabin across the valley to the distant hills on the horizon. In the middle distance a dust devil reached from the valley floor to the heavens. A hawk floated on spread wings at the top of the column, while far below another climbed to meet it.

“Remember?” Ray's voice had softened. “You said that hawk was you, soaring high and free, away from everyone.”

Lainie nodded and ran her finger over the lower hawk. “You said that one was you, coming to get me.”

Ray sighed before he stood up and put his hat back on. “Well, you flew too high for me, girl. I couldn't get there.”

She followed him to the door and he turned and pulled her close, pressing his lips against her forehead for a long moment.
“Take care of yourself, you hear?” His voice sounded husky, and he cleared his throat. “And tell Gran I'm sorry I missed her. I'll call her tonight when I get in, and I'll see her when I come back for Fayette's wedding.”

He didn't look back, and Lainie watched him get in his truck and drive away. She picked up her painting again and sat on the sofa studying it. The hawk that once looked so wild and free now just looked alone.

T
he second Saturday in June, Lainie worked her last shift at the Dip 'n' Dine, handed her keys to Chris Reed, the new owner, and stepped out into the warmth of the fading afternoon. All day, customers and former volunteers had been stopping by to say good-bye, wish her well, and have a piece of the cake Chris had brought in to commemorate her last day. Nearly everyone asked her why she had to go, and even Chris had said there was a job for her at the Dip 'n' Dine as long as she wanted one. But her time in Last Chance was coming to a close. It was time for her to go.

Across the road, weeds were beginning to push through the gravel parking lot of the High Lonesome. With its boarded windows and padlocked doors, it looked just plain lonesome now.

She lifted her hair to let the breeze cool her neck and headed to Elizabeth's, and to the ongoing discussion as to why Lainie should stay in Last Chance.

“I'm sorry, but you have not been able to give me one reason that makes any sense at all.” Elizabeth sat back from the breakfast table Sunday morning and folded her arms.

Lainie sighed and tried again. “How about the fact that Nick managed to walk out of the hospital six months ago and no one
knows where he is? But he knows where Lindsay is, and she knows where I am. I said I'd stay till the new owner of the Dip 'n' Dine was up to speed and Fayette got married, but I've been pushing my luck.”

“How you can still be talking about luck is more than I can understand.”

“Okay, bad choice of words. Luck had nothing to do with it, and I know it.” She smiled at Elizabeth as she carried her dishes to the sink. “But, please, it's time for me to go, and I think you know it.”

Elizabeth's blue eyes sparkled with unshed tears as they searched Lainie's face. “Okay, darlin', I understand. But you'd better call me every night until you get wherever it is you're going.”

“I will.”

“And you'd better come back and visit me often.”

“Promise.”

“All right, then.” Elizabeth pushed herself to her feet. “We'd better get going if we're going to get to church on time.

The choir was just filing into the choir loft as Elizabeth led the way down the aisle to the third pew on the left. Her spot on the aisle was empty and waiting, as if no one would dare sit in what had been Elizabeth's spot for more than half a century. She stepped back to allow Lainie to slide in before her, then stepped in and reached for a hymnbook.

Lurlene turned from the choir to lead the congregation in the first hymn, and Lainie let the sound wash over her. She could hear Russ Sheppard's deep bass and Juanita's slightly sharp soprano. She smiled, even as tears threatened to choke off her own song. Everything about Juanita had seemed sharp and even terrifying when Lainie first met her. When did she first begin to see past
Juanita's bristly exterior to the tender heart she guarded so fiercely? Probably it was sometime during the months Juanita, as well as the rest of the church, showed up at the Dip 'n' Dine so faithfully and worked so hard.

Her heart swelled as she looked around the room at the faces she had come to love. Les and Evelyn Watson had moved from the back corner to a spot by the window near the piano. Rita, with her ever-present sheaf of papers she needed to see somebody about as soon as the service was over, caught Lainie's eye and mouthed something Lainie couldn't follow while making incomprehensible hand gestures. Lainie smiled and nodded. She'd find out soon enough what Rita was talking about.

As the hymn drew to a close, Lainie spotted Chris Reed sitting across the aisle toward the center of the pew. Lainie was confident he'd find in Last Chance the same loving acceptance she had.

A rustle and shuffle filled the sun-washed room as everyone settled into their places and Brother Parker moved to stand behind the pulpit. His booming “This is the day that the Lord has made!” filled the well-scrubbed sanctuary. And just as it did every Sunday, the congregation answered, “We will rejoice and be glad in it.”

He opened the Bible, and Lainie settled in to listen. Focusing on his message gave her something to think about besides leaving. But the sound of his deep voice, rich in Western drawl, only served to remind her that this was her last Sunday among them. She determined again that she would not cry, but how did leaving get so hard?

Elizabeth peered into Lainie's red and swollen face. “Are you sure you don't want me to drive? If you don't mind my saying so, you're a mess. Can you even see?”

Lainie slid behind the wheel of her almost-new Toyota and sniffled. “I'm okay now. And I was doing okay in there until the final hymn.”

“Caring about folks is nothing to be ashamed of, especially when they care about you like we all do. I'd have thought you'd know that by now.”

“Caring is one thing, falling apart completely is another.” Lainie tried to smile at Rita, who was waving good-bye from her car. “Oh, shoot. I was supposed to see Rita after the service.”

“She's coming over after lunch this afternoon. I talked to her while you were in the bathroom.”

Lainie pressed cool fingers against her puffy eyes. They felt dry and grainy. “I hope I didn't knock her down trying to get out of there when the service was over. What did she want?”

“Well, she wanted to talk about the wedding shower on Thursday, but I told her since it's going to be a big barbecue at the ranch, she didn't need to trouble herself anymore about that. We're certainly capable of throwing a party. But there's still the rehearsal dinner, the wedding itself, the reception, and whatnot. I'm sure every last detail is organized to a fare-thee-well. But you know Rita.”

Lainie pulled into the long driveway behind Elizabeth's truck. Elizabeth gathered her Bible and purse and opened the door. “Why don't we just make some sandwiches for lunch and see if we can sneak in a nap before Rita gets here this afternoon. I think I'm going to need more strength than I have right now to go over those wedding plans again.”

A low rumble of thunder in the distant hills woke Lainie from the Sunday nap she had learned to enjoy. Her hand dropped to Sam the cat, snuggled in the curve of her hip. He rolled onto his back, stretching his front paws over his head, and turned on the purr. As she lay absently scratching Sam's ear and chin and trying
to decide whether to go back to sleep, she became aware of voices from the living room. Rita. Elizabeth must have decided to let her sleep and taken on the meeting by herself. With a smile of contented gratitude, Lainie turned over and closed her eyes. A few seconds later she opened them again. Sleep was not going to happen. She sighed and swung her feet over the side of the bed. Might as well get this over with.

Lainie winced at the sight of herself in the mirror across the room. Her eyes were still slightly swollen and her hair hung lank to her shoulders. The little makeup she usually wore had been completely cried off at church and not repaired. To top it off, she had obviously slept on her arm, because a red crease ran from ear to jawline. She shrugged and caught her hair back with a rubber band. “Deal with it, Rita. If you come visiting during naptime, you take what you get.”

She smiled to herself as she walked up the hall toward the living room. Elizabeth was talking and had yet to take a breath. No matter what she said about the chattiness of others, Elizabeth could give anyone in town a run for their money. Her voice rose in a question and paused for an answer just as Lainie reached the end of the hall. She froze as a familiar voice murmured a response. Too late, she took a step back into the shadowy hall. Ray, sitting on the piano bench across the room and slowly twirling his hat between his knees, raised his head and met her gaze.

Whatever he was saying died in his throat. His hat hung loose on his fingers, and he attempted a smile. “Hey, Lainie, how's it going?”

“Oh, it's you.” Lainie eased into the room and lowered herself onto the nearest surface, the arm of the sofa. “I thought you were Rita.”

“Rita? Nope.”

“Isn't this a nice surprise? He just got here a minute ago.”
Elizabeth beamed at her. “I was just on the way to the kitchen to get us some iced tea.”

“I'll go.” Lainie jumped to her feet, but Elizabeth waved her back and headed toward the kitchen.

“No, no. You stay put. I'll do it. I think there are some cookies left too.”

“Can't I help?” Lainie heard the desperation in her own voice and could have kicked herself, but with a final dismissive wave, Elizabeth had disappeared into the kitchen. There was nothing left for Lainie to do but turn to Ray and say, “So, how are you? It's been a while.”

Ray shrugged and began twirling his hat again. “Fine, I guess. You?”

“Fine.”

In the kitchen Elizabeth clinked glasses and opened the refrigerator door.

“You came early. No one else is coming till Wednesday.”

“Yeah, well, I need to spend some time cleaning out the cabin. I left behind a bunch of stuff that I need.”

Silence filled the room again, and Ray dropped his eyes to the hat slowly twirling between his knees.

“Here we are!” Elizabeth came back in the room carrying a tray with three ice and amber–filled glasses. “And we had just enough cookies for each of us to have one.”

Lainie took a proffered glass and stood up. “I think I'll just take mine back in my room with me, if that's okay. I need to start getting it ready for Fayette when she comes Wednesday.”

“Oh, you can put it off a little while.” Elizabeth pulled her tray back as Ray reached for a glass and turned to frown at Lainie.

“No, you guys need some time to catch up, and I really need to start sorting through all my stuff.” Her smile felt painted on when she turned to Ray. “See you at the barbecue Thursday, I guess.”

He nodded again, without smiling, and Lainie turned and willed herself to stroll back down the hall to her room, taking a sip of her tea as she went, and gently closed her door behind her. Once inside her room, however, her careful control deserted her. A splash of tea marred her dresser and the glass rattled when she set it down