Werewolf in Alaska: A Wild About You Novel (23 page)

“But that happened years ago.” He cupped her face in his big hands and stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. “Then I charged into your life uninvited and turned it upside down. I feel as if I’m leaving a mess.”

“No, you aren’t. You saved me from getting mauled by a bear. A bear attack could have ended my career, and maybe my life. So there’s another reason for me to be eternally grateful to you.”

“I just . . . want to make sure you’re going to be okay.”

She squeezed his shoulders. “Of course I’ll be okay. Better than okay.” She soldiered on, because he was damn well
not
going to feel sorry for her. “Your role wasn’t that different, really. You allowed me to see what I was missing in my life.”

“I did?”

“You bet. Thanks to you, I’m planning to find a worthy partner to share my bed. I deserve that.” And didn’t that sound spunky and proactive? Damn straight. “If it takes a while to come up with someone as wonderful as you, then so be it. At least I’m motivated to search him out.”

He was quiet for a moment as his gaze probed hers. Finally he sighed. “Am I allowed to hate that idea?”

Ah, knowing that he’d be jealous felt
so
good. “Only if I’m allowed to hate the thought of you hooking up with some perfect little werewolf who will give you purebred werewolf children.”

His smile had a touch of sadness. “Fair enough.”

“I don’t suppose you could bite me and turn me into a werewolf?”

He shook his head. “That’s another myth.”

“I figured. Just thought I’d ask.” Her chest felt tight, as if someone had shoved her into a straitjacket. “So it’s decided. You’ll go to Idaho and become the Hunter alpha,” she said again. Maybe repeating it would make it easier to bear.

“Yeah, I think it’s the right thing to do. They need me.”

She recognized the powerful appeal of that. She needed him, too, but she wasn’t about to compete with an entire werewolf pack. “How soon?”

“They don’t want to take any more time than necessary. I told them to give me until tomorrow to decide. But assuming I agree, which I’m planning to, they’d like me to pack up my truck in the morning and drive in tandem with them back to Idaho.”

The suddenness of that shocked her, but she worked hard to make sure he didn’t notice. “What about your cabin?”

“I’ll contact an agent first thing in the morning and sell it furnished.”

She wanted to cry. She’d sat on that sofa, eaten dinner at his patio table, made love in his bed. She couldn’t imagine strangers moving into his place. Knowing he lived across the lake, even before they’d become lovers, had given her life a little extra shine.

That was about to change, and she wasn’t sure she could deal with it. She would, though. If this was what Jake wanted, then she would send him on his way with a cheerful smile and a joyful heart. That was what you did when you loved someone.

It couldn’t end any other way. Jake had known that from the moment he’d met Rachel three years ago in the Polecat General Store. He’d known it and he’d fought the attraction until finally he couldn’t fight it anymore.

And now they’d come to this—last kisses, last touches, last words murmured in the silky half-light of Alaska’s midnight sun. They undressed each other slowly, peeling back layers of clothing to stroke skin heated by a desire that would leave each of them burning for days, weeks, perhaps the rest of their lives.

But the Hunters’ arrival, right when he was struggling with his feelings for Rachel, had an inevitability about it. They were supposed to come and give him a reason to leave her. But he wasn’t leaving yet, and her long, lithe body beckoned him.

Once all her clothes were gone, she stretched out on the bed and opened her arms. Jake silently accepted her invitation. Gliding over her, he breathed in the intoxicating scent that had beguiled him from that first day. Lying beneath him, touched by the golden light from the bedside lamp, she was more beautiful than he ever could have imagined on that fateful day three years ago.

He’d fantasized about her for three long years, but nothing he’d imagined had been as potent as the woman herself. He knew she would haunt his dreams for a very long time. But his path was set, and it didn’t include her. That was better for both of them.

Still, his heart wept at the thought of leaving her. Leaning down to kiss her eyes, her cheeks, and her lips, he murmured his thanks for all she’d given him. She’d allowed him to love her, and she’d willingly accepted the limits he’d placed on that loving. While he’d had limits, she’d had none.

If he asked her to go with him, she would. She’d put up with the disapproval of werewolves like Ann and Bruce, just to be by his side. If he didn’t ask—and he wouldn’t—then she would let him go without a single word of protest. She was a proud woman, and he cherished that about her, too.

“I’ll miss touching you here,” he murmured as he brushed his mouth over the hollow of her throat. “And here.” He pressed his lips to her full breast, right above her heart. He could feel it beating as he nuzzled her velvety skin and tugged on the firm peak of her nipple. Each caress made her heart beat faster.

She spoke his name on a sigh, then drew in a long, quivering breath and shuddered beneath him.

Returning to her lips, he drank the sweetness of her exhale. Her eyes remained closed, as if she couldn’t bear to watch their story end. Or maybe she didn’t want him to see the sadness in those stormy depths.

So he wouldn’t ask her to look at him. If she wanted to hide, he understood. Trembling with the need to sink into her, he nevertheless held back. No one had ever welcomed him the way she did, and he suspected no one ever would again. He wanted to take his time.

“And I’ll miss this most of all,” he said. Gently he probed her moist center with the blunt tip of his cock, but he resisted the urge to push forward. “I love the anticipation right before I thrust, when I’m balanced above you and your heat reaches out to me. Your scent drives me crazy right now, but I’m going to wait.”

Her eyelids fluttered and she moaned.

“I’m going to wait so that I can admire the flush on your cheeks. Now it’s moved to your breasts, and your nipples have tightened even more. Your skin is glowing with a special sheen, like early-morning dew.”

With a soft whimper of need, she moved restlessly beneath him.

“Soon, very soon. But this is my favorite moment of making love to you and I don’t want to rush it. Not tonight. My climax is a wonderful moment, too, and yours is even better, but . . . this is the best, right now, before it all begins.”

Her eyelids lifted, and he sucked in a breath. Instead of being shadowed with misery, her silvery eyes blazed with light.

Cradling his face in both hands, she locked her gaze with his. “That’s the most beautiful speech I’ve ever heard.”

“I meant every word of it.”

“I could tell. And here’s my response. I love you, Jake Hunter.” She said the words clearly, as if she didn’t want him to misunderstand. There was no request buried in those words, no expectation lurking in those magnificent eyes. “I thought you should know.”

He was humbled by her courage. Declaring her love now, when she knew it was over, took guts. But it didn’t surprise him. Her next words did.

“And you love me.” She said it with the same strong conviction. “But you don’t want to tell me because you think it makes no sense to say you love someone when you’re leaving for Idaho.”

His heart ached. “How come you’re so smart?”

“It doesn’t take a genius. You aren’t willing to lay down your fortune and your life for some person you sort of care about.”

“No.”

“You may not think you can say the words, but your actions are pretty darned obvious. The thing is, you can love me and still go to Idaho. They’re not mutually exclusive.”

He looked into those amazing eyes of hers for several long seconds and wondered how in the hell he would leave her tomorrow. “I do love you,” he said softly. “And you’re right. I didn’t think I could say it.”

“But see? It’s okay. You can.”

“So I can.” Joy poured through him at being able to speak the words that had been hammering at his heart. “I love you, Rachel Miller.” And he drove deep with a groan of pure happiness.

“Told you so.”

What followed was an enthusiastic bout of wild, loud, and celebratory sex. Jake lost count of how many times he told Rachel he loved her. He even lost count of how many orgasms she had, but it was quite a few.

When he finally came and they collapsed in a sweaty heap, she rocked him in her arms while she crooned
I love you, Jake Hunter
over and over. But at last, she nestled quietly in his arms and closed her eyes. Her breathing slowed and she sighed in obvious contentment.

Jake’s heart ached more than he’d ever thought possible. He wanted to hold her tight and never let her go, but that was not to be. In his agony, his soul sent out a message.
I’ll love you forever, Rachel
.
No one will ever take your place in my heart.

Her eyes fluttered open and she gazed up at him. “There will be no one else for me, either, Jake.”

He went very still. “What did you say?”

“No one will take your place in my heart, either. Just like you said to me.”

“But I didn’t say anything.”

She frowned. “Yes, you did. I heard you distinctly. I was starting to drift off to sleep, and then you said—”

“I only thought it, Rachel.” His throat went dry and his heart began to pound. “I didn’t say it out loud. Somehow, you heard what I thought.”

She didn’t seem particularly impressed with that information. “I would believe that. It was sort of the way I could hear you when you were in wolf form.”

“You don’t understand. As a wolf, I can mentally communicate with wolves and other wild creatures. Amazingly, I was able to communicate with you, too, after I shifted, which I’m pretty sure is rare. But I have never been able to form that same mental link when I’m in human form. Not with Weres or with humans. I’ve never heard of any werewolf who could.”

“You look a little freaked-out about it, Jake. Is it a problem?”

He tried to get a handle on what had just happened. “Not a problem, exactly, but definitely a phenomenon.”

“I’m not surprised that I can hear your thoughts, no matter what form you take.” She stroked his face. “I’ve never bonded with anyone the way I have with you.”

“Same here.” Dazed as he was by this discovery, he had to know if it went both ways. “Let’s test this. I want you to try and send me a message. Not about us, or anything I would guess easily. Make it more of a challenge.”

“Okay.” She focused her gaze on his.

And he heard
Ted desperately needs to find a girlfriend.
Jake repeated the message he’d heard.

“That’s it! Word for word.”

“My God.” Jake looked at her in amazement. “This could make werewolf history, but no one will ever find out about it.”

“Oh, well.”

“Is that true? Does Ted need a girlfriend?”

“Oh, Jake, he does. He puts up a good front, but he’s lonely. I’m going to get him signed up for one of the dating sites after . . . after you leave.”

“Good. But I’d rather not think about the leaving part, if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t want to, either, but after you move to Idaho, we’ll be able to communicate with each other and no one will ever know. Isn’t that cool?”

“Yeah.” He leaned over and kissed her, because he didn’t want to dim the sparkle of excitement in her eyes. “It’s very cool.” But he wondered if this was more of a curse than a blessing. The temptation to keep in touch this way would be constant.

And yet, if it was all they had, if they could never hold each other, never share their laughter and tears, then what was that mental connection worth? For their own sanity, they might have to give it up.

But in the meantime, she was still here, and her kisses made him forget that she wouldn’t always be with him. Seeking oblivion, he melted into her.

•   •   •

They didn’t sleep much that night, which was how Rachel wanted it. Buying a pound of coffee the night before had turned into a three-act play. After all that she’d gone through to get the coffee, they might as well make use of it to counteract their lack of sleep. Loving Jake was far more important than getting a good night’s rest, anyway.

They showered together, which involved more sex, but once they were dressed, the mood shifted. Rachel knew they wouldn’t be getting naked again, and that meant the good-bye scene was coming up soon. She went into survival mode.

Jake contacted the Hunters to let them know he’d made his decision and he’d be over at his place within the next hour. Because Rachel needed something to do while he made that call, she threw together an omelet to go with the coffee she’d brewed.

All the blinds were up now because they had nothing to be secretive about. When Jake made his call to the Hunters out on her deck, she was able to sneak glances at him while he talked. He still looked tense, which was a shame if he was about to live his dream.

When he came back in, he seemed surprised to see food on the table but covered his amazement quickly. “Terrific, Rachel. Thanks for fixing breakfast.”

“You didn’t think I could, did you?”

His smile was apologetic. “I didn’t because you kept telling me you weren’t much of a cook.”

“I’m not, but I have to feed myself and I can’t exist totally on candy bars, so I’ve mastered a few basics. Go ahead and sit down. I’ll bring you some coffee.”

“Okay, thanks.”

Although her nerves were stretched tight, she congratulated herself on behaving like a relatively sane person. That was until she almost poured the coffee down the drain instead of carrying it into the dining area. Maybe she wasn’t as cool about this as she liked to think she was.

But Jake wouldn’t have to know that. She’d stopped herself before dumping the coffee in the sink, so she carried it out of the kitchen and poured each of them a steaming mug.

“Smells great.”

“Thanks.” She returned the pot to the kitchen and came back to sit at the table with him. “Is it a burden, dealing with a super nose?”

He laughed, which was her intention. She didn’t want to let the mood dip all the way into gloom and doom.

“I don’t think of it that way,” he said. “But I’m used to it.”

“But you haven’t had that ability all your life, right? Because if you had, that would be a clue that someone had been born Were.”

He put down his coffee and gazed at her. “Good observation. You’re absolutely right. Until young werewolves hit puberty, their senses aren’t any more developed than a human’s.”

“That’s too bad, in a way.” She dug into her omelet, which wasn’t half-bad, if she did say so. “If they showed that tendency earlier, wouldn’t that help sort things out?”

“Maybe for the mixed-species couples, but think about it. A baby is enough of a challenge. What if you had to worry about whether your little baby girl would suddenly turn into a wolf cub as you pushed a buggy through Central Park? Then what?”

“I see how that might be a problem. But if the werewolf tendencies showed up slightly sooner than puberty, that would take the mystery out of situations like the Wallace brothers have.”

His green gaze sharpened. “You got pretty far into MacDowell’s book, I see.”

“Couldn’t help it, Jake. With an imagination like mine, how could I resist something as exotic as rich werewolves? Is it true that Wallace Enterprises owns the Chrysler Building?”

“I believe so. It’s through a dummy corporation, but that sounds right. The Wallaces have major holdings in New York. Howard Wallace was elected president of the Were Council last fall in Denver.”

“And yet both of his sons have mated with humans. I find that amazing.”

Jake sighed. “I find it depressing. Don’t Aidan and Roarke understand that they’re Wallaces? It’s the proudest werewolf name in North America, and they behave as if they have no sense of tradition or solidarity.”

“Apparently they fell in love.” The minute she said it, she wished she hadn’t. Last night had been all about the love between her and Jake, and that statement might make him think she wanted to use that love as an excuse to defy tradition. “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”

“I know.” He pushed away his plate, even though he’d eaten only half of his omelet. “The Wallace brothers are a sore spot for me. I grew up hearing about the mighty Wallace dynasty from my mother. I could hardly wait to meet members of the Wallace pack because I just knew we’d hit it off and share common values. Not so much.”

“Jake.” She shouldn’t say anything, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself. “I’m trying not to take offense, but you’re sitting at the table with a member of the other species, the one you so object to the Wallace brothers taking up with.”

He glanced at her and had the decency to look embarrassed. “You’re right. I apologize.”

The mood was permanently ruined now. Maybe that was just as well. Anger at his attitude could keep her from feeling the pain when he left. “It’s probably time for me to drive you over to your cabin so you can rendezvous with the Hunters.”