Western Kisses – Old West Christmas Romances (Boxed Set) (8 page)

Mother’s hand covered mine. “It’s all right, my dear. Your sister is a nuisance, but we’ve already determined that.”

“Nothing needs to be decided tonight,” said pa. “If you wish to marry her and she wishes to marry you, I can offer no objection to the union. You’re older than I thought, if I might be so blunt, but what is age?” He shrugged.

“Exactly!” exclaimed Leona. “I’m so relieved you brought it up, Pa. I’ve been hoping to hear the voice of reason spoken so clearly.” Mother gave her a look. “I’m fair to bursting to marry Benjamin. It’s a relief we won’t have to wait much longer.”

Mother had closed her eyes. “Lord, give me strength.”

“Yes, age shouldn’t matter,” said father. “But, in your case, it does.”

The argument that followed tested everyone sorely, and it wasn’t until after the dishes were taken away that Guss and I had a moment alone. “I’m sorry about my family. My sister especially.”

“There’s no need to apologize.” He brought his chair up alongside me, leaning in. “I find you all charming.”

“Now you’re just uttering outright falsehoods.”

“I’m not, I assure you.”

Glancing around the room, I noted William with Cybele, and his attention was directed towards us. “I hope we haven’t frightened you off.”

“It would take a great deal more than that.” He touched my finger with his lightly. “I know we’ve only been acquainted a short time. I would like to hear your thoughts on things.”

“What things?”

“On the possibility of spending your life with someone like me?”

“Is this a proposal?”

“A pre-proposal.” He grinned.

“I should be sensible about something as important as this.”

“What does that mean?”

“Once I was afflicted with the smallpox, I knew my options were limited. I couldn’t imagine anyone wanting me with these scars. It’s been…difficult. Most days I just want to hide.”

“I’m not marrying you out of pity.”

“I…know. It’s just that…you’ll have to see not only the marks on my face, but there are more on my body.”

He blinked, while staring at me. “So?”

“So…I…don’t know.”

“I don’t give two figs about your little spots. I don’t even see them when I look at you. I never have.”

Tears were in my eyes, which was mortifying. I swallowed, but it felt like a lump in my throat.

“You’re one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen, besides my departed wife. I loved her so very much, Willow. The same feelings are developing—have developed for you. I want to stay in Cripple Creek and start fresh. My brother and his family will arrive next year. I can’t think of anything more promising.”

“I can’t either.”

“I’d be fortunate to win you. I’m not exactly cutting a swell these days. If you’re expecting I’ll bounce around and entertain you with my style and wit, you’ll be sorely disappointed.” He grinned.

I laughed at that moment, as I stared at him happily. “I wouldn’t expect that of you or anyone.”

“I do hope to hear that more often. Everything about you changes when you laugh.”

“Really?”

He touched my face. “Yes, ma’am.”

“I’ll just get this nail in, and that’ll be it,” said Leona. She stood on a stepstool with one hand around a nail and another gripping a hammer. We had begun to decorate the dining room with garland, as the holidays were fast-approaching. “Ouf! Must it be so difficult.”

“You’d best hurry,” said mother, breezing into the room. “They’ll be arriving soon for supper.”

“I know, I know.”

I stood beneath her, holding a sprig of evergreen. “Goodness, hurry up.”

“Blasted balls!”

“Shush,” I warned. “Keep your voice down.”

“Oh, you’re allowed to be in a fine mood, but not me. I’m without an engagement, without a pretty ring, and, worse yet, I have to wait till spring to declare myself as Benjamin’s intended. There really is nothing fair in this world.”

Leona had yet to forgive my parents for not allowing her to marry by Christmas. Instead, she would have to stand up for my wedding, which was slated to occur in two days’ time.

“I’ve got it. Hand me that garland.”

“Here.”

“Thank you.” This was the last piece, as the others had already gone up, giving off a lovely evergreen aroma. “All that’s needed now are the red ribbons.”

“We’ll tie them on later.” I reached for the hammer. “Now, go do your dishes and things.”

“Yes, yes.” She stepped from the stool. “Work, work. All work and no engagement.”

I glanced at mother, who rolled her eyes. When my sister had left, I murmured, “It’s going to be torturous listening to that for four months.”

“My dear.” Her arm went around my shoulder. “I never thought I’d say this, but I’ll be relieved when that man marries her and takes her away.”

“Then you’ll have to hire another worker.”

“Yes, but my nerves will thank me for it. I promise you.” We laughed, separating in the hallway. “Where are you going?”

“I’m…just…seeing Guss for a moment.” They disapproved of me spending time in his room, for obvious reasons, but I tried to visit him as often as I could, mostly speaking to him in the family’s private rooms after supper, sitting before the fire. We were seldom alone, and I longed for the day when we were wed. I knocked on his door.

“Come in.” He sat in a chair reading. “How are you?”

“I’m well, and you?”

“Better now.”

I closed the door behind me, which was forbidden, and, upon seeing it shut, he rose to his feet leaving the book on the chair. As he approached, I suppressed the urge to walk into his arms, but he sensed my feelings, drawing me to him.

“We’ll be chastised for this,” he warned.

“I don’t care.” I clutched his shirt, burying my face in the woven material.

He lifted my chin, gazing at me with a warmth that made my knees go weak. This was a look I had come to see often. “One little kiss?”

“Little?” Disappointment registered, but I tried to hide it.

“Yes.”

His lips touched mine, while I wound my arms around his neck. I’d been waiting for this with extraordinary patience, and I would not let the moment pass me by without fully indulging in it. It was surprising how soft his lips were, how gentle the caress began, although, once I leaned into him, he held me even closer, deepening the kiss. I let him explore my mouth, as I tentatively delved into his. It was a shame when he drew away, leaving me breathless and shivering, my heart thundering in my chest.

“We should stop,” he murmured near my ear. “It’s only two more days. I can wait two more days.”

I’d never felt more cherished, enfolded in his arms and desired. “It was surprisingly good.”

He chuckled, the sound rumbling in his chest. “I’m glad you thought so.”

I gazed up at him, while he held my face. “I’m so happy you came to stay with us, Guss. I’m so grateful to have met you.”

“If someone had told me that I’d find love again after Sue, I never would’ve believed them.”

“I never thought I’d marry.”

“But you undervalue yourself, darling. There’s nothing wrong with you in the least. Any man who can’t see that is a fool. I knew you’d be a pleasant companion and a thoughtful wife. I can see you with our children, minding them with the same steady temperament I’ve observed from the beginning. Not only that, but you’re warm-hearted and affectionate.” He held me close. “I’ve been given a rare gift. I’d be an idiot to pass it by.”

“But I’ve a temper too. I’m not perfect.”

“I know. I can see your temper when you deal with your sister, but it’s rather humorous.”

“She’s annoying lately.”

“She’s determined to marry.”

“And she will, but at what cost?” He laughed in my ear. “Two more days,” I murmured.

A knock sounded on the door, forcing us apart, as my mother entered. “Hello, my darlings,” she said brightly. “Leona’s put the coffee on. You do want some, don’t you?” She winked at me, knowing full well that she had disturbed an intimate moment.

“Oh, I suppose.” I brushed by her. “Will you join me, Guss?”

He grinned. “Absolutely.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I interrupt something?”

We laughed, as we left the room.

Seeing that the wedding was only twenty-four hours away, I was in a terrible rush the next day, hurrying from store to store, purchasing the items I needed not only for the hotel, but also for myself. It was with this single-minded determination that I collided with someone on the boardwalk before the mercantile.

“Excuse me, sir! I’m so sorry!” It was William Stanford, who smiled politely.

“It’s my fault.”

“William! How are you?”

“I’m well, and you?”

“Very busy at the moment.”

As it was nearly Christmas, there were bells on some of the horses, the sound echoing up and down the street. The thoroughfare was packed with snow, but it had become darkened from the filthy hooves and wheels of conveyances. The boardwalk had been swept clear, although the alleyways were piled three feet high in places.

“I should offer my congratulations. It looks like you’ll be married months before me.”

“Thank you.”

“Is there some reason for the hurry?”

My situation was none of his business, but having known him since childhood, I felt obligated to explain myself. “There’s no reason, other than not wanting to wait. We’ve no need for a lengthy engagement.”

“What do you know of this person’s character? He’s all but a stranger in Cripple Creek.”

I didn’t care for his manner at all, bristling. “Isn’t everyone a stranger? Who here is native, besides the Indians? Everyone has come from somewhere else. People are capable of anything, even after you’ve known them for years,” I said cryptically, referring to Cybele. “I have faith that my choice is a good one. After everything that’s happened to me, I can’t imagine God sending me a rotten apple. This is my one chance at happiness.” I hadn’t meant to be so blunt, but…there it was.

He took my arm, which was surprising, leading me away to where a horse waited. “I have to tell you this, Willow. I’ve been meaning to say this to you for several years now. We were once so close, you and I. Do you remember?”

“Yes.” An image of a schoolyard flashed through my mind.

“When you were stricken with that awful illness, we all thought you would die. I remember wanting to be by your bedside, but my mother forbad it.”

“She’s right for that. You could’ve caught it.”

“I know, I know, but I wanted to be there; I truly did. After you recovered, I wanted to be there for you too. Just like we once were. My family disapproved, especially my mother. She didn't want me to see you. I’m furious with her today, because she ruined something she ought not to. She interfered where she shouldn’t have, and I let her.”

“You don’t need to do this, William.” People had begun to stare, and it was disconcerting. It was obvious we were in the middle of a rather serious conversation.

He looked pained. “I’m happy you’ve found someone you love. I truly am.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ve seen you together, you know. He’s entirely devoted to you. I thought perhaps he might be too old, but your temperaments are well-matched.”

“You’re invited to the wedding. Are you coming?”

“Yes.” His shoulders had slumped somewhat. “I…” he glanced at a passerby…“want you to know that I was wrong. I never should’ve listened to my mother.”

I had waited years to hear these words, but now, they were a nostalgic confirmation of a love long past. He had wanted me, yet he had lacked the courage to act on those feelings, and I had moved on—finally. “It’s not necessary to apologize. There’s nothing to apologize for.”

“But there is!” His eyes had watered peculiarly. “I know I hurt you. I’ve seen that look on your face for so long.”

“It’s all in the pa—”

“No, listen,” he asserted. “I know it’s over and done with, but I see you now, and it’s gone. You’re well and happy, as you should’ve been all along. You were just smiling, lost in thought, before you walked straight into me. The collision was entirely your fault, you know.” He grinned slightly.

What was he trying to say? I tilted my head at an angle, staring at him.

“I’m jealous.”

“Pardon?”

“I’m furious at myself for letting you go. When you smile like that, it should be me you’re thinking of. All those years it was me, until
he
came to town.”

Now I was confused. “I won’t apologize for being happy.”

“I don’t want you to. I want to tell you that I never stopped caring for you. I always wanted to be with you. I…” he looked aggrieved, “wish you the best.”

He’s not happy. He knows he’s marrying a faithless woman.

“If you’re not sure about Cybele, then why do it?”

His eyes widened. “What?”

“This conversation has been perplexing, William. I’ve let the past go, although only recently. You’re right; I did always love you. You were my first love, but the moment I became ill you disappeared. Then you avoided me every day after. You’re engaged to the loveliest woman in town, and I offer you my heartfelt congratulations.”

“But that part about not being sure…”

“I was just thinking out loud.”

“The invitations have been sent, the dress is coming by freight. It was made in Paris. My sister’s traveling all this way with her family to be here. I’ve purchased land; we’re building a house soon. I’m not able to back out. Then there’s the promise I’ve made to love and take care of her forever.”

“Then all I can say is congratulations.”

He removed his hat, running fingers through his hair. He gazed at nothing in particular, yet his mind was unhappily occupied. There was nothing else to say…and we both knew it. I no longer longed to be in his world, secretly fantasizing about him changing his mind and marrying me instead. Those yearnings had quieted to nothingness.

“Good day, William.”

“G-good day, Willow.”

As I walked away, leaving him standing by the horse, it became clear that he was not happy at all with his life or his choice of bride. But…that was hardly my fault now, was it?

It was mildly surprising how many of the residents of Cripple Creek had arrived for my wedding. There wasn’t an empty slot to tether a horse to, or a place in the field to leave a carriage. Every aisle was filled to capacity, and people stood at the back of the room, the men holding their hats in their hands.