What a Reckless Rogue Needs (21 page)

He placed his finger over her lips. “I won’t lie to you. I want to kiss and touch you, but you can say no at any point, and I will stop.” He nuzzled her neck. “Mmmm.” Of course he knew exactly how to ignite the fire within her. Soon she would be so far gone, she would only realize her mistake when it was all over.

“If I said to stop now, would you?” she said.

He lifted his head. “Yes. It must be your decision.” He would never force any woman. “Do you want me to stop?”

She bit her lip.

He sighed. “I’ll go.”

“No, stay.”

“Angeline, I shouldn’t.”

She thought about all the lonely nights that might be ahead of her. She thought about his wicked sense of humor. Most of all, she thought about how he desperately wanted to possess Sommerall, because he could not bear for strangers to occupy the land where his mother was buried. He’d earned his rakish reputation, of that she had no doubt. But he’d sworn to stop at any point, and she knew instinctively he would honor that promise.

Tonight he’d enchanted her, teased her, and made her laugh. There were far worse things to fear, such as never knowing a man’s ardent kiss in bed or the way it felt to have strong arms hold her. She loved him and knew that no matter what the future held, she would always cherish this night with him.

“Angeline, if the answer is no, you must tell me now.”

She kissed him gently and then with more intent. He leaned over and returned it. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No.” She opened for him and suspected the way he plunged his tongue inside her mouth was an imitation of lovemaking. He made her feel shivery and hot at the same time. When he looked into her eyes, he pulled the covers down to her waist, and then he lowered his head and dipped his tongue between the hollow of her breasts.

She drew in a ragged breath, but before she could even think to stop him, he ran his tongue all along the inside seam of her shift. He was very wicked, and very hard to resist. “Oh, my.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“Not yet.”

He cupped her breasts and circled his thumbs lightly over the fabric covering her nipples. She drew in a shuddering breath.

“Do you like it?” he whispered.

“You devil; you know I do,” she said. “Oh.”

“You’ll like this even better.” He slipped the straps of her chemise down her arms, exposing her breasts. He circled his tongue around one nipple and then the other. When he suckled her, she arched up to him. “Oh, my God, I had no idea.”

He cupped her face and looked into her eyes. “I will say this only once, but I’m glad.”

I love you.

He pulled her shift up to her waist.

She caught his hand.

“Do you want me to stop?”

She swallowed. “No, not yet.”

“I’m going to do something that may shock you.”

“What is it?”

“I’ll show you.”

He put his knee between her thighs, and she grew very still. Could she let him?

He set her feet on the bed and slid down a bit. When he touched the folds of her sex, she jerked.

“Shhhh,” he said. “It’s very wicked, but you will like it.”

“I’m not so sure,” she said.

He slowly stroked his tongue along the soft folds to pleasure her.

A feminine sound came out of her throat.

“You like it?”

“Oh, dear heaven. Oh, oh.”

He repeated the long, slow stroke. Her back arched and she threaded her fingers in his hair.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“Do not dare stop.”

He chuckled and did it again and again and again.

She bit her lip. He could feel the tension in her legs. He carefully inserted his finger. The erotic sound of moisture nearly made him mad with lust. “You’re tight inside and soaking wet.”

When she looked at him, he said, “The wetness is preparation for coitus, but you can say no at any time.”

“Oh.”

He gave her three more long strokes of his tongue. Then he slipped his hands under her bottom and focused quick strokes on her sweet spot. She arched up until her head fell back. Then she came apart with a little cry and collapsed.

Her chest still rose and fell quickly. He smiled because he was rather proud of himself.

She opened her eyes. “Good Lord. No wonder virgins are kept in the dark. They would all be lifting their skirts for any man willing to…do that.”

He burst out laughing. “That might depend on the man’s skill.”

“Yes, you clearly would earn high marks in the school of pleasure.” She looked down at his tented drawers. “You are aroused.”

He hesitated, knowing what he had to do, but when he looked at her sweet face, he realized how difficult it would be to rob her of something that ought to take place after the marriage vows.

“I’ll take care of it privately.” He got off the bed and pulled her shift down to cover her legs.

“Colin?”

“Go to sleep,” he said. He should have done it. He was giving up everything, but he couldn’t. Damn it.

“Don’t leave,” she whispered.

He drew in a long breath. “My restraint is limited.”

She touched him through the fabric of his drawers.

“Oh, God.”

“Is there no way for me to pleasure you?” she whispered.

“It’s messy.”

She held out her arms to him, and devil that he was, he couldn’t resist. He told himself he would only show her how to pleasure him with her hand. Nothing else would happen. He mustn’t let it.

He removed his drawers and joined her in the bed. When she put her knee between his legs, he smiled. She planted kisses all along his torso until she reached his erect cock. When she licked the length of him, his head fell back. He could not believe she had done it. He was ready to propose now, but he couldn’t speak.

She continued the long strokes and cupped the sacs. He gritted his teeth as he got harder and harder. If she kept this up, he would explode any minute.

She took his hand and guided him to her folds. “I want you.” She swallowed. “Inside.”

“I’m trying very hard to be honorable for your sake.”

“I don’t want you to be honorable. I want you to make love to me.”

She’d made it all too easy for him, but it was no longer selfish thoughts that gripped him. He hovered over her on his elbows. “Tell me no.”

“Yes,” she said. When she stroked him with her hand, he was wild to be inside of her. Then he showed her how to guide him.

He felt the barrier give way, and she gasped. He stayed very still until the tension inside her eased. Then he withdrew part of the way and entered again slowly. He kept his gaze on her as he rocked in and out in a slow rhythm. Soon he realized it would be more pleasurable for her if she rode him. “Hold on tight,” he said. Then he flipped them.

She blinked. Then he showed her the rhythm. She started slowly but eventually she rode him faster. He pulled her forward and suckled her while she rocked against him. When he switched to her other breast, she cried out and her inner muscles contracted all around him.

He pressed her back to the mattress and entered her again. His heart was thudding fast in his chest, and his skin tingled. In some dim place in his brain, he knew he needed to withdraw at just the right moment. When she wrapped her long, soft thighs around him and squeezed, he strained and exploded inside her.

As his breathing slowed, he pulled the covers over them and gazed into her eyes. “Sleep,” he whispered.

C
olin awoke to find her watching him. “You are awake,” he said in a sleep-roughened voice.

Her face grew hot.

“Is something wrong?”

She shook her head.

Clearly, she must be remembering the things they’d done in bed. “I’ll announce our engagement when we return to Deerfield tomorrow.”

She drew the sheet over her luscious breasts. “I beg your pardon?”

He plumped the pillow behind him. “Angeline, do not kick up a fuss. I had every intention of making a timely exit, but I lost control, and now it is quite possible we have created our firstborn.”

She snorted. “It only happened one time. My friend Charlotte did not conceive for nearly six months.”

“You’re not Charlotte, and I’m not Portsworth. It only takes once, and I’d rather not have to face your father after your belly expands.”

“You speak as if it is a foregone conclusion,” she said. “Furthermore, if we announce an engagement tomorrow, our families will know what we’ve been doing.”

He released a loud sigh. Damnation, he was still in danger of losing Sommerall. Of course she was right. He imagined Wycoff pointing a rifle at him. Granted the man was a terrible shot, but Colin knew he’d make an easier target than a flying bird.

“When will you know if there are consequences?” he asked.

“Oh, my stars.”

“Angeline, after the things we did in this bed, I’m astounded by your sudden bashfulness.”

“A week,” she muttered.

“Ah, well it matters not one way or the other.”

“How can you be so cavalier about it?” she said.

“Because, darling, I want to announce our engagement.”

“You do not have my permission,” she said.

“Angeline, it is true that we both will benefit from the marriage, but it is equally true that I took your virginity.”

“Well, you can’t put it back.”

He laughed. “In all seriousness, my honor demands that we marry.”

“What nonsense.”

“You know the rules as well as I do. Why are you being so difficult?”

“I need time to think,” she said.
I’m scared that you will never love me.

“Let us be officially engaged,” he said. “That way we will have freedom, and we can talk about our expectations.”

“Suppose we find we do not suit. I cannot break another engagement, Colin.” Panic set in.

She might be engaged to him in a week. Why did that frighten her? He wasn’t Brentmoor. Yes, he had a rakish reputation, but he had never lied to her or tried to manipulate her. They had already agreed to a trial engagement. The only reason they had waited was to learn more about each other so that they could see if they would suit. She ought to be rejoicing, knowing that the marriage would resolve all of her problems and his as well.

“I know you, Angeline. You are worried. Tell me what troubles you.”

You don’t love me.
“It is nothing, really.”

His eyes softened. “Are you feeling guilty about what we did?”

“No.”
I probably should, but I cannot when I love you.

“You will tell me one way or the other when you know if there are consequences,” he said.

She knew he was only being practical, but she yearned for a declaration of love that would not be forthcoming.

“You should not worry. I will not abandon you,” he said.

Of all the foolish things to say.
“Hah! I might abandon you.”

“Where are my smelling salts?” he said, his chest shaking with laughter.

“In all seriousness, we should not rush into an engagement just because we made love.”

“Angeline, we already discussed the possibility of marriage. We agreed to spend time together to discover if we are compatible. We are.”

“You mean in bed,” she said.

He kissed her cheek. “You surpassed my greatest hopes.”

“You think I’m wanton.”

“No, I think we’re both passionate and compatible. Granted, we like to spar, but that is part of the passion. You must admit we have worked well together at Sommerall.”

“Searching through trunks and making notes of the work that is needed is not the same thing as a marriage,” she said.

He folded his hands behind his head. “Isn’t marriage made up of everyday things? Breakfast, lovemaking, dinner, lovemaking, tea, lovemaking.”

“You are incorrigible.”

He turned on his side and propped his head up. “No, I’m delighted—with you. I think we’ll rub along, pardon the pun, very well.”

He was still under the influence of passion. “I think we need to continue our original plan to learn more about each other. We only have two and one-half weeks left.”

He lifted her hand for a kiss. “Perhaps we can find a reason to return to Sommerall.”

“I think we had better use caution. If we were caught, it could cause hard feelings,” she said. “My father suffers enough guilt for what happened and so does my mother. You do not want to disappoint your father, either.”

“Trust me. He is disappointed in me and has been for some time.”

“I do not believe that he is disappointed in you. You find his ultimatums ridiculous. He can be difficult, but you manage to work around it.”

“I tire of it.” He rubbed his nose against hers. “But not of you.”

He was flirtatious, but they needed to talk about the things that really mattered if they were to make the engagement official. “We are facing the possibility of bringing a child into the world. Yet, we need to discuss if we want a large family or not.”

He shrugged. “I never thought much about it. I figure babies will come along when they will.”

Yet, his mother had died in childbirth. Many women succumbed, particularly when there were multiple pregnancies. “It can be prevented?” she said.

“Tonight, I proved it can be a tricky business to prevent. I am sorry. Usually I…never mind.”

“Finish what you meant to say.”

“You are more delectable than…I expected.”

That was not what he’d almost said. “You are speaking very carefully,” she said. “To preserve my feminine sensibilities, perhaps?”

“Neither of us can change the past,” he said. “You are a lady and my secret fiancée. I rather like the idea; it sounds mysterious. If all goes well, you will be my wife, provided we are both in accord now or when the house party ends. Now, wasn’t that easy?”

“I know you’ve had mistresses.”

“That is what bachelors do before they marry. This should be no surprise to you.”

She summoned up the courage to ask what she really wanted to know. “Have you ever been in love?”

He remained silent for a long moment. “I thought so once.”

“What happened?” she asked.

“Why do you want to know? It happened ten years ago.”

“Then why do you hesitate to tell me?”

“Because it ended very badly. Leave it be.”

“Did she break your heart?”

His eyes blazed. “I was mad for her, but her husband took exception to the affair de coeur.”

Angeline inhaled sharply. “Who was she?”

He shook his head. “My father bought my way out of a duel. He has reasons for being disappointed in me.”

“She was older, wasn’t she?”

“I knew this would happen. I shouldn’t have told you.”

“You do realize how hypocritical you are,” she said. “I told you every detail about Brentmoor. There were no other serious relationships. I think the reason you do not tell me is because you do not trust me enough to confide in me.”

“I did not want you to hear the sordid truth, and I don’t want to remember it, either. I’m not proud of it, Angeline, but I was young and stupid.”

“You loved her,” she said.

He was silent for a long moment. “Her husband banished her to Scotland. I thought I would lose my mind.”

She squeezed her eyes shut. He had loved her.

“Turn on your side,” he said. “You must be tired.” When she did, he curled up behind her and cupped her breast.

She’d insisted that he tell her. Now she knew. Another woman had once won his love. It shouldn’t matter, but it hurt. All along, they had agreed to a marriage of convenience, but she’d hoped he would develop tender feelings for her. He liked her, but he didn’t love her. She wondered if he ever would.

Something tickled her neck and something hard pressed against her back.

Colin pressed her shoulder to the mattress. “Good morning.”

Memories of the night before flooded her brain. Her face heated as she realized she was naked. Her shift was half dangling off the foot of the bed.

He nudged her thighs apart and suckled her breasts.

She inhaled.

He kissed her neck again.

She wanted to succumb to pleasure, but she was worried. What would happen when he tired of her? “I think we need to talk,” she said.

He groaned and rolled onto his back. “Something is troubling you,” he said.

“I’m a little concerned about what will happen.”

“You worry too much.”

“How can I not worry? You know my past. I’ve no idea what will transpire between us. Yes, I worry.”

“It will do no good to worry about what might happen or what happened in the past,” he said. “Think about the present.”

How could she not think about the past? Brentmoor had betrayed her, and she’d had trouble trusting anyone afterward.

“I can see the worry on your face,” he said. “Tell me what it is and I will do my best to reassure you.”

“We will both make every effort to treat each other with kindness and respect.”

He looked very serious. “I rather thought that was a given.”

“Of course,” she said, “but even the happiest of couples have disagreements.”

He lifted his palms. “You are worrying about something that has not even occurred. Do you not see that anticipating trouble at every turn will frustrate me and make you unhappy? Promise me that you will make every effort to curb this tendency. No good will come from it, Angeline.”

She nodded and knew he was right, but she also knew it would not be easy to put her faith completely in him all at once.

“Allow yourself to be happy,” he said. “You deserve it. We both do.”

“The rain stopped,” she said. “We had better dress.”

He donned his drawers and walked to the window and pulled the drapes back. It was still dim out, but the sun would rise shortly.

She managed to pin her hair in a simple twist. “Colin, I need your assistance with the stays, please.”

He captured her gaze and tossed the stays aside.

“What are you doing?”

“I can’t get last night out of my head.”

“You are wicked,” she whispered. Evidently she was, too.

“You are as irresistible as sweet cream.” He was breathing faster. “I want to taste you again.”

Her breasts felt heavier, and she realized his words had made her slick between her thighs.

He took her hands and regarded her with concern. “Be honest. Are you…well this morning?”

Her heart melted. “I am well…and a little undone.”

He took her in his arms. “Are you sorry about last night?”

“No, quite the opposite.” She was happy and carefree for the moment. There hadn’t been many carefree moments for her in the last year.

“I’m glad,” he said.

She wanted to confess what was in her heart, but then he would feel an obligation to her, and she wished for him to want her for his wife. She could not bear it if he felt forced. Yet, she knew if she discovered she was with child, they would have no choice.

Angeline realized she was borrowing trouble again. She gazed into his eyes and told him as much of the truth as she dared. “About last night,” she said. “I failed to tell you something.”

His expression grew wary.

“I failed to tell you that it was wonderful, and I feel a little bemused this morning.”

His smile was as dazzling as the sun spearing through the crack in the drapes. He caught her hands and pulled her up to his chest. When he gave her a lush kiss, she found herself tingling all over. His hands slid down to her bottom. He lifted her up to her toes and pressed her against him. “Do you know what you do to me?”

His breath was as labored as hers. “I suspect the same thing you do to me.”

“This may be our last chance for some time. Will you let me make love to you once more?”

“Yes.” She wanted him again.

He kissed her like a starving man. She tangled her tongue with his and threaded her fingers in his hair. When he lowered his head, he suckled her through her shift, and she cried out. He pressed the straps of her shift down her arms until it pooled on the carpet. She loosened the ribbon on his drawers and shoved them off. He held her, and he was hard against her stomach. She reached between them and caressed him.

He drew in a ragged breath and touched her intimately. She was lost in the sensations, lost in the heat of his body, and God help her, lost in love with him. She kissed his chest where his heart beat rapidly, because she dared not speak the words that were in her heart. It would hurt too much to listen to his silence.

He took her hand, walked to the chaise, and sat in the middle. Then he pulled her onto his lap and entered her. He suckled her breasts as she found the rhythm and the pleasurable sensations crested quickly until she cried out.

He stood, carried her to the bed, and entered her again. As he pressed inside, she whimpered a little because he felt so good. She loved the feeling of sharing her body with him. He moved slowly and never let his gaze slip away from hers, and she loved him all the more for it. But eventually he seemed to lose himself in the pleasure and he thrust inside her faster and faster. She wrapped her legs around him and felt him throbbing inside of her. Afterward, he rolled to his side and smiled at her. “I hope this was not too much for you.”

Her face grew warm. “I think you know I liked it.”

He slid on his trousers. “You have enslaved me.”

She grinned. “Will you do my bidding?”

“I am yours, mistress, but you must let me recover.”

“I have high hopes you will rise to the occasion.”

He burst out laughing and hugged her. “You are wonderful.”

She loved being so close to him. “I will miss this when we return to Deerfield.”