What Happens at Christmas (15 page)
Read What Happens at Christmas Online
Authors: Jay Northcote
“With breakfast,” Sean said. “Then I could do with some fresh air. It’s probably still too icy to run, but I fancy a walk. Then another movie marathon?”
“You gonna stay awake this time?” Justin grinned.
“If you let me watch
The Avengers
instead of musicals, yes.”
“Deal. And then is it my turn to get fucked?”
Sean’s eyes darkened. “I think that seems fair.”
Justin spent all day on Monday trying to hide his bubbling-over happiness at work. When his colleagues asked if he’d had a good Christmas, he replied in the affirmative but didn’t give anything away.
It had been the best Christmas ever, but the details were far too precious to share.
The only person he told was Jess.
“So, me and Sean are together now,” he said casually over their lunchtime coffee.
Jess choked, eyes bulging as she nearly sprayed latte all over the table. “What?” People turned to stare at her, so she lowered her voice to a fierce whisper. “Oh my God. When? How? And that’s totally awesome, by the way. He seemed really nice.”
“It happened at Christmas. Turns out he’s always liked me too, and we finally got our act together.”
Jess went starry-eyed, clenching her napkin against her chest. “That’s so romantic. Why don’t things like this ever happen to me?”
“I’m just lucky, I guess.” Justin finally let the smile he’d been holding in all day spread over his face. “Really lucky.”
His luck held.
Sean was waiting for him when he got home, excitement written in every line of his body. He jumped up, running to hug Justin as soon as he got through the door of the living room.
“Hi.” Justin hugged him back. “That’s quite a greeting. Did you miss me?”
“No. Well,
yes
, obviously… but I’ve got news. I’ve been waiting to tell you all day. I didn’t want to text.” Sean drew back, grinning like a loon. “I got a job offer, and it’s in London!”
Relief and happiness poured over Justin like sunshine. For all his brave words before, he’d been afraid Sean would have to move away and of what that might mean for their shiny new relationship. “That’s awesome. Fuck, I’m so glad you get to stay.”
“Yeah, me too. I mean… I can look for a place of my own, but I’ll try and find somewhere close.”
“No you bloody won’t!” Justin gripped his shoulders, then doubt shot through him. “Unless you want your own place? Because I’d rather you stayed here.”
“Yeah? I guess I thought maybe it was too soon—”
“For fuck’s sake, Sean. We’ve been in love with each other for years. It’s not too soon. I’m in this for keeps. Stay. Please?”
“Okay.” Sean’s voice was husky and his lips curved in a sweet smile that made Justin’s heart swell. “If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure.” Justin reeled Sean in and they hugged again. He closed his eyes and they prickled with happy tears. He opened his eyes to blink them away, then caught sight of something over Sean’s shoulder that made him burst out laughing.
“Been having fun while I was out?”
“Huh?” Sean pulled back, brow furrowed. Then he turned and followed Justin’s gaze. “Oh. Yeah,” he said sheepishly.
The two gibbons hung from the curtain rail by their arms. They faced each other, nose to nose. The black one’s legs hung down, unattached, and the golden one had its legs wrapped around the black gibbon’s waist.
“Is that a hint? A suggestion for what to do later?” Justin chuckled. “Because I’d be up for that.”
“We don’t have a bar to hang from.”
“Yeah, but you could hold me up against the wall if you think you’re strong enough.”
“Only one way to find out.” Sean grabbed Justin around the waist and lifted him.
Justin clung to him, laughing again as Sean stumbled back under his weight, crashing down on the sofa with Justin in his lap.
“Maybe not, then.” Justin slid his hands into Sean’s hair. “But we could do it like this instead.”
“So many possibilities.” Sean put firm hands on Justin’s hips, holding him close. “Maybe we should make a list.”
“Sounds good to me.”
Justin dipped his head for another kiss and smiled against Sean’s lips as Sean kissed him back. It was hard to believe Sean was his now, but Justin figured he had plenty of time to adjust. Sean wasn’t going anywhere.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Sean finally got around to phoning his dad on New Year’s Day. Sitting on Justin’s sofa, with Justin’s hand held tight in his, Sean waited for the call to connect.
“Hi, Dad. Happy New Year.”
The silence at the other end of the phone was broken by a surprised “Sean?”
“I don’t think there’s anyone else who calls you Dad, unless you’ve got something to tell me.” Sean joked, trying to relieve the tension.
“How are you?
Where
are you?”
“I’m home—I mean, back in the UK.” But Justin’s flat
was
Sean’s home now. He was still getting used to that.
“Been back long?”
“A couple of weeks. Sorry I haven’t been in touch before, but I’ve been busy getting settled. Finding work… somewhere to live.”
“You could have come back here if you’d needed.”
Sean raised his eyebrows, glancing at Justin who frowned and mouthed, “What?” as he was only getting half of the conversation. Maybe Sean should have put it on speaker.
Sean leaned in close, their heads almost touching, so Justin would be able to hear his dad. He swallowed, searching for the courage to be honest. “Yeah? I wasn’t sure how welcome I’d be if I came home. We didn’t exactly part on good terms before I left.”
His dad cleared his throat, voice gruff when he replied. “I know. I…. It was a lot to take in. You blindsided me. I would never have guessed.”
“I’ve always been good at pretending,” Sean said.
Justin nudged him and squeezed his hand. “Yeah, you are,” he muttered.
Sean turned and met Justin’s grin. He smiled back.
“Is there someone with you?” his dad asked.
“Yeah. I’m with Justin.”
“Are you staying with him?” His dad’s voice was carefully neutral.
Sean gripped Justin’s hand tight. “Um, yeah, about that—” He took a deep breath. “—I’m living with him. Me and Justin are together now. Like…
together
together. I need you to know that. I know you don’t like me being gay, but it’s who I am, and it’s not going to change.” His voice faltered, a lump in his throat making it hard for him to get the words out, but he persisted. “I’d rather have your blessing, because you’re my dad, and you’re the only family I’ve got. But if you can’t accept this, accept
us
… then that’s too bad. Because I’m happy—I’m
really
happy—and I’m not going to let anything or anyone spoil this for me.”
There was a long silence. Sean listened to his father’s harsh breathing down the line, holding his own breath as he waited.
“Bloody hell,” his dad finally said, but his voice held no rancour. Then, surprisingly, he huffed out a chuckle. “I suppose I should have seen this coming. You and that boy were always inseparable. In and out of each other’s houses, spending all your time together.”
“You didn’t like it,” Sean said.
“No.” His dad let out a sigh. “But you’re a grown man and you’re free to make your own choices. Even if I don’t understand them, it’s not my place to try and tell you what to do with your life now. Listen, Sean, I did a lot of thinking while you were away. I didn’t try saying it in an email because I’m not good with expressing myself that way. But I thought about you and what you’d told me and about your mother and what she’d think of it. And I realised that all she would want would be for you to be happy. She wouldn’t have cared about who you loved, only that you found someone who was right for you.” His voice cracked.
Sean’s eyes prickled and flooded, his vision swimming as tears filled his eyes. He felt light, as though a crushing weight had been lifted from his chest. “Yeah. I think so too.”
“So… I’m sorry for not handling this better before you left, but I want to make it up to you now. Come and visit. Bring Justin if you like. If this is serious, then I need to get used to it.”
“It’s definitely serious.” Sean gave Justin a sidelong grin, and Justin beamed back. His eyes were looking rather moist too.
They went to visit Sean’s dad on the second weekend in January.
On the train, Sean stared out of the window. Even after that surprising and wonderful conversation with his dad, Sean was incredibly nervous about meeting him face-to-face with Justin there as his boyfriend.
Sean’s knee jiggled with tension. Justin’s hand was a reassuring weight on his thigh, but he seemed to sense Sean’s need for silence and to respect it. This was one of the things Sean loved best about this new relationship with Justin. The parameters might have changed, but the friendship that formed the foundations was rock solid. They knew each other so well. Justin could tell how Sean felt without asking. Sean could feel the unconditional support radiating from him like the comforting warmth of a fire.
When they arrived at the station, they paused by the taxi rank outside.
“It’s only about fifteen minutes. Can we walk?” Sean asked, hoping the exercise might help burn off some of his nerves.
“Course.”
They walked close but not touching, treading the familiar streets of their childhood. Past their old primary school, past the park where they used to kick footballs and throw Frisbees, past the climbing frame where Justin fell and broke his wrist after hanging upside down so long his knees gave out.
When they reached the house where Sean had grown up, he felt swamped by so many memories. He hesitated near the gate and turned to Justin, needing to take some strength from him.
“You ready?” Justin licked his lips nervously. His blond hair was almost hidden by a black beanie and his nose was pink from the cold.
“Nearly.” Sean took both of Justin’s gloved hands, holding them up between their chests as he pressed in close and kissed Justin on the lips. Right there in the street where he’d grown up. No more pretending. He was out and proud where anyone could see him—except his dad. The hedge hid them from the front windows, and Sean couldn’t help being glad about that. He didn’t want to push his dad too far on what he hoped might be the first of many visits as a couple. “Okay, let’s go.”
He kept hold of one of Justin’s hands as they approached the front door.
“You sure about this?” Justin squeezed his hand.
Sean wasn’t sure if he meant the handholding specifically or the whole visit. But the answer was the same either way. “Yes.”
The electric
ding-dong
of the bell hadn’t changed since Sean was a child. His heart lodged in his throat as he saw the shape of his father through the frosted glass panel. And then the door opened, and he was standing there, smaller than Sean remembered him, with a nervous smile on his face that gave Sean hope that this was going to be okay.
His dad’s gaze flickered between them, down to their joined hands and back. His smile didn’t slip, and Sean relaxed a little more.
“Sean. It’s good to see you. You too, Justin.” He nodded at Justin.
“Hi.” Justin let go of Sean. He took a step forward, offering his hand to Sean’s dad, who shook it.
“Come in,” Sean’s dad stood aside to let them in. He laid a hand on Sean’s shoulder as they crossed the threshold, patting it awkwardly as he added, “Welcome home, Son.”
Sean’s place was with Justin now, but for the first time in years, he felt like he might be truly welcome in his childhood home again. More than ever, this New Year was a time of new beginnings. Possibilities stretched out before him, and happiness unfurled in his chest, like fragile shoots seeking sunlight. He smiled, releasing Justin’s hand to pull his father into a brief hug. “Thanks, Dad.”
About the Author
Jay lives just outside Bristol in the West of England, with her husband, two children, and two cats. Jay comes from a family of writers, but she always used to believe that the gene for fiction writing had passed her by. She spent years only ever writing emails, articles, or website content.
One day, she decided to try and write a short story—just to see if she could—and found it rather addictive. She hasn’t stopped writing since.
Twitter:
@Jay_Northcote
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More from Jay Northcote
If you enjoyed
What Happens at Christmas
, you may also be interested my other Christmas themed novella,
Cold Feet
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