What Haunts Me (13 page)

“Dad, I'm going to ask the Watchers to protect you.” He nodded and started to say his goodbyes; however, I had one more question, but I was nervous about putting it just the right way. My dad already felt guilty enough about all of this, so I needed to tread carefully.

“Uh, Dad, why didn't you try and stop me from moving to San Francisco?”

He sighed heavily. “To be honest, I couldn't think of a single reason that would sound plausible. I mean, you had a job opportunity, you'd just graduated college, and you even had friends in the city. What could I have said that would have made sense? Besides, it had been a long time since they'd hypnotized you, and you'd never shown a single sign of your power or talked about the ghosts. I just figured it would be okay. I can't believe how wrong I was….” He was crying again and I spent the next few minutes assuring him that this wasn't his fault. Finally we said our goodbyes with the promise that I'd be in touch in a few days.

As I alluded to earlier, I had few friends, and none of them were “best” friends—a few were “good” friends perhaps, but I'd never bared my soul, my dreams, and my emotions to them. That honor had always been reserved for my dad. When my mom died, the two of us only had each other; if we were to survive, we needed to do it together, and that's exactly what we'd done. We were best friends when I was growing up, even through high-school when boys tended to rebel.

The only other person who knew a lot about my life was Justine. It wasn't intentional—it just worked out that way. Justine was the kind of person everybody felt comfortable with, someone they could entrust their secrets to and know that they wouldn't go any further than that. But at some point, she had betrayed me, and although Billy tried to deflect it, it was obvious that Justine had told her quite a bit about yours truly. At first, when I realized that Billy knew so much about me, I was angry at Justine. However, it didn't take long for me to discover that Justine had her reasons for sharing my life story with Billy, and suddenly I didn't mind at all. Justine was to Billy as my dad was to me…her confidant, her support system, her cheerleader, you name it. Justine was all that Billy had and up until that moment, all she had needed. I was guessing that at some point Justine made a connection between Billy and me, something that told her we needed each other. I couldn't be sure when this happened, but I suspected that the last seventy-two hours had driven it home for her. Either way, she was right. If I was going to survive, I needed Billy to be my friend…and more importantly, I suddenly
wanted
her to be my friend.

Our earlier bonding moment in Sutro Park had turned into a couple of hours of conversation about me, about her, about our lives in general, and everything in between. Those few hours lying on the grass in the sun, quietly sharing our secrets, created a friendship. Justine would be pleased. I still thought of Billy as a wicked little vixen, but now at least I understood her. As I said earlier, I was getting used to her, and somewhere deep down inside, I knew I needed her and she needed me. I decided I wanted Billy to accompany me when I met with the Watchers, more for support than for anything else. I also decided that I needed to tell her what I planned on doing about Vokkel and this demon. If the demon was indeed still around, then Vokkel might be my only chance of finding it.

I rummaged through my wallet until I found the card that Phil had given me, then I dialed the number. It rang several times before going to a generic voicemail. I left my first name and said to call me back. In ten minutes I received a text message telling me to meet him the following evening at the same bar we'd first talked at.

I desperately needed sleep, so I decided to call Billy in the morning about our meeting with the Watchers tomorrow evening. I fell into bed, hoping for eight solid hours of dreamless slumber, but clearly that was too much to ask for.

I woke up with a start, a scream on the verge of exploding from my lips. I'd been dreaming that I was in the Tenderloin again and the ghost with the bowler hat, the one that was going to kill the teenage prostitute/junkie, was standing in front of me. But instead of controlling her, he was controlling me. He was using whatever paranormal power he had to direct my hand, the hand holding my trusty yellow friend, only my pencil had somehow turned into something else—it was a dagger, a deadly-sharp dagger that he was forcing me to use to stab myself.

I was fighting his invisible strength with everything I had, but he was winning. His expression was calm and relaxed, as if it took very little effort on his part. But suddenly, that all changed—his eyes widened and his mouth opened in a soundless scream. A small bloom of what I thought was smoke began to appear in the center of his chest, distorting it and making it disappear as the bloom grew larger into the familiar grey mist. Then he was gone, poof, just like that. He disappeared into nothingness, and I was looking at Billy, holding her antique chopstick and looking satisfied. She didn't say anything, but motioned for me to follow her.

In typical dreamlike fashion the scenery changed, and we were suddenly surrounded by a vast landscape of hills and valleys, dark and ominous in the fading light of early evening. Billy was waving her hand and screaming at me, but there was no sound coming from her mouth. She looked terrified and I realized she was seeing something behind me, and then she started to run. I had to turn and look, though, and I saw exactly what I had expected to see…several ghostly forms, complete with malicious and ghoulish faces full of murderous intent, running quickly towards us. I turned and ran. I could see Billy ahead of me, but now there was someone else there too, someone that was almost upon her, and then suddenly
was
upon her, grabbing her long hair as it flowed out behind her.

He pulled her with such strength that her entire body lifted off the ground, then slammed down to the earth with an audible thud. I ran faster, knowing he would kill her and I was the only one that could save her…I still had the dagger. But I wasn't fast enough; in less than a second the demon had plunged his hand into her chest and was holding her beating heart in his palm, raising it up in triumph. I skidded to a stop and the monster turned to face me, offering the organ up as if it was a trophy. It was Edgar, or some version of Edgar. His face was oddly wrinkled, the skin slipping and sliding around, as if whatever magic had kept him young was now reversing itself and turning him into a grotesque version of his former self. I looked down at the dagger in my hand, knowing I had to kill him, but before I could, the ghostly forms that had been chasing us had caught up, and began to tear me apart. That was when I woke up.

I knew it was just a dream, but it left me feeling anxious and I wanted to talk to Billy more than ever, just to be sure she was okay. I checked my bedside clock to discover that it was only 6 a.m., probably too early to call. I took my time getting showered and dressed, then I made myself a hearty breakfast of eggs, bacon, hash browns, and toast. By the time I'd finished all of that, it was almost eight, I decided to wait a few more minutes, and then I called Billy's cell phone.

She answered groggily. “What?”

I chuckled. “Sucks when someone wakes you up, doesn't it?” Her response was less than polite, but I was undeterred by her expletives. “I'm meeting with the Watchers tonight. I want you to come with me.”

She muttered another expletive, and then said, “How'd you get in touch with them?” She answered her own question, “Right, your ghost tour friend. Okay, what time?”

I gave her the when and where and then asked if she could come over later that morning. I wanted to discuss my plans for the demon and Vokkel, plans which had morphed overnight into a deep need for revenge and outright vengeance. I admit that I didn't like the feeling, but it wasn't just about what Vokkel had done to my mother, was it? Both Vokkel and the demon had been involved in the deaths of my grandparents, and if Billy was right, they'd killed Grandma Billy too.

Billy arrived an hour later. She wasn't in the best of moods, but I couldn't tell if it was because I woke her up, or if it was just the way she was in the mornings. I made some coffee and then we sat in the living room while I told her about my conversation with my dad.

When I finished she blew out a long hard breath, then she said, “You okay?”

I got up and walked to the bay window, staring out aimlessly. Finally I said, “Not really. I mean, Vokkel killed our grandparents, right? Not only that, but either this demon that killed them is the same one that killed my mother, or there are more of them out there. I need to find them and kill them…. Vokkel needs to pay too.”

She didn't respond right away and when I couldn't take her silence any longer, I turned from the window and looked at her. Her expression was odd, like she was trying to digest what I was saying, then her eyes took on that icy green hue and there was a slight hint of anger in her voice. “How do you plan on doing that?”

“We'll start with information. I'm willing to bet the Watchers know quite a bit more about this power I'm supposed to have, and they can help me tap into it and fine-tune it. I'm also pretty sure they're going to be able to tell us about these demons; after all, isn't it their main purpose to keep track of them? I think we should talk to Anne too. She knew my mother, and she may be able to tell us more about her and her power.”

Her anger, if that's what it was, had evaporated and now her expression was subdued. I walked over and sat down across from her, taking her hand in mine. I said, “Look Billy, I know what I'm asking will probably be dangerous, and if you don't want to help me, I will understand. But I'm not going to lie about it, I want your help. I trust you and I think we can do this.” I had to keep in mind that no matter how much of a bastard Vokkel was, he was still her grandfather.

She blew out another one of those long hard breaths and said, “Yeah, we can do this. Let's start with Anne.”

Justine had gone out and I was glad. I didn't want her to catch on to what we were planning just yet, she'd worry too much. Anne sat tentatively in a side chair. She was looking between Billy and me, waiting for one of us to start. I finally did.

I regaled her with my conversation with my dad and then asked, “Anne, you were there with her, right? What can you tell us about her…her power?”

Anne leaned back in her chair and sighed. “She was such a shy little thing, scared to death. She wouldn't talk to anyone, and she'd barely eat or sleep. Finally,” she looked at Billy, “your grandmother managed to get through to her.” Anne smiled fondly. “She mothered her, talked to her in soothing, quiet tones, and tried to keep her safe. It was really hard on Billy…she knew your mom was special, just like she was.” Anne looked at me, her expression sorrowful. “Your mom was a pretty smart kid and she knew right off the bat that Vokkel wasn't there to help her; that's why she clammed up so tightly. Anyway, after a few months your mom told Billy what she could do. Your mom didn't really understand her power—how much she had, that is. But Billy knew, because Billy had it too. Like your dad told you, not all the ghost killers can see the super powerful demons, but your mom and Billy could, and it terrified them. I think it's one of the things that drove Billy mad—she just couldn't handle the evil she was seeing. Your mom, on the other hand, was too young to really comprehend what those demons were, so, like a lot of kids do, she locked it away. And as you know, the memories, for the most part, stayed locked away until she saw Billy years later.

“Your grandmother's madness….” She looked over at Billy, who flinched at the term. “I'm sorry, but that's really what it was…she was driven
mad
by her power. Anyway, that madness had kept her from initially being able to hide her capabilities from Vokkel, so he knew what she was. That's the primary reason he allowed her to get close to your mom.” She looked over at me and smiled. “Vokkel knew about your mom's lineage; it was the sole reason he kidnapped her. He figured if Billy could get close to her, she could also help Vokkel get close and develop her power.” Anne turned to Billy and said, “But it backfired, because your grandmother might have been weak in some ways, but she was strong in others, and there was no way she'd let Vokkel do to that precious little girl what he was doing to her….” Anne's eyes had begun to tear up and she swiped at them with the back of her hand.

As Anne's composure began to solidify, she looked at me and said, “Your mom had this invisible friend.” She smiled warmly. “She talked to her all the time. Sometimes Edgar would tease her about it and she'd get so mad. It was one of the few times she lashed out. She'd scream at Edgar, saying her friend was real and was there to protect her. I guess it was a coping mechanism.”

“Couldn't it have been real? I mean, she was a powerful kid, right? Couldn't it have been a ghost?” I asked.

Anne shrugged. “Wouldn't Billy have seen it too? Besides, the only ghosts that have ever been powerful enough to remain hidden from other ghost killers were demons.”

I could see Anne's point, but I still wanted to know more. “Did she ever describe her friend? I mean, what it looked like and how it protected her?”

Anne laughed. “Sort of. She told Billy that one of the younger kids had tried to take her muffin one day. She said her friend—I can't remember what it was, but she did have a name for her—” Anne shook her head in annoyance at her failed memory. “Anyway, she said this boy tried to take her muffin away and her 'friend' showed herself to the boy, only she did it with a 'really scary face' and it sent the boy screaming to the nearest teacher. That actually happened too, but when they questioned the boy, he said it was your mom that made the scary face.”

“What did she say the friend looked like?” I'm not sure why this was so important, but it was.

Anne gave me a quizzical look, I assumed because of my persistence, then she cocked her head to the side and thought hard. “Well, she definitely said it was a woman, but I don't recall her saying what age, although she was just a little girl, so it would have been difficult for her to tell. I think she might have said she had brown hair, but….” Anne sighed. “I'm sorry George. I just don't remember her saying anything more. Why is it so important?”

“I don't know that it is, to be honest. I just…well, I guess I just wanted to hear more about her.” I smiled sadly. There was so much I didn't know about my mom and so much I wanted to know.

Billy had remained quiet throughout the conversation, and I looked over at her to see if she was all right. She smiled insincerely and turned to Anne, “Anne, you said that Vokkel knew about George's mom's ancestry, right? Do you know how he found out?”

Anne shook her head, “No idea. I'd ask the Watchers, I think they know—”

“What about my family? You said Grandma was as powerful as George's mother. Is my family ancestry like his?” She asked, angling her thumb in my direction. It was a damn good question too, and I wanted to know the answer as well.

“Yes,” she replied simply, and then she got up and left the room.

Billy and I stared at each other for a minute in confusion. I finally said, “Should we go after her?”

Billy waved me off. “Give her a minute, she'll be back.” She relaxed into the sofa and closed her eyes.

Anne did come back a few minutes later carrying a coffee tray, and after it was served Anne sat back in her chair and sighed. She looked at Billy. “Do you know why your name is only 'Billy' and not Wilhelmina?”

Billy shook her head tentatively.

Anne smiled at her. “This power goes back a long way in your family too. But your people were very superstitious. They believed in order to get a ghost killer, they had to name their children after themselves.” Anne waved her hand in dismissal. “Quite silly really, but that's what they did. Your grandfather and your great-uncle were well aware of their lineage; in fact, it's quite possible some of their wealth is a direct result of the family's ability to communicate with ghosts and get them to do their bidding, like sabotaging the competition and things like that.”

Billy's green eyes narrowed suspiciously and she asked, “Does Aunt Justine know this?”

Anne shook her head vigorously. “She does now, but she didn't growing up. Your great-grandfather was the one with the power…not as powerful as your grandmother though. Justin was initially disappointed that Justine was simply an ordinary girl, but after watching what Billy went through, he was glad in the end that she was normal. He told Justine all about it on his deathbed and asked her to promise to break the superstition by never allowing another child to be named after its parent. That's why your mother's name is Julie. Now Julie is a different story. She knew about the superstition because she knew all about her mother. But she also knew that if she went against Justine's wishes, she'd never get another dime. So even though she had you without Justine's knowledge, she was cautious, and just to be a brat, I think, she named you Billy instead of Wilhelmina.”

Billy sat perfectly still for a moment, then her face screwed up into a scowl that turned into an almost manic laugh. “That is so Julie, isn't it?” The question wasn't directed at anyone in particular, but Anne laughed quietly and nodded her head in agreement.

“Um…Anne, I plan on going after Vokkel and the demon or demons that killed my mother and our grandparents,” I said quietly.

She only nodded her head, almost as if she knew what my plans were already. “Will you be joining him on this?” she asked Billy. Billy nodded and Anne said, “If you need my help, I'm here.”

I went home and took a nap. I wasn't sure what the evening would entail, but the last few days were really taking a toll on me and I wanted to rest up before our meeting with Phil.