What It Was Like (34 page)

“Strip!” ordered Rachel, taking another drink of the bug juice.

Not removing her eyes from Rachel's, Nanci/Eric stood up with her roll-move and undid her black, baggy men's pants – the belt buckle, then the button, then the zipper – and let them fall to the floor. There she stood, on her pale, chubby legs, like piano legs, topped by the big, wide triangle of her white panties.

No one had to say anything.

I made sure to lose the next hand. I didn't want to get too far ahead – or behind – in the “race” to undress. I smiled to myself as I broke up a pair of aces and wound up losing my shirt, literally. But as Nanci said before, even if I lose, I win.

By the time we played a few more hands, we had finished most of the second pitcher of bug juice, and Nanci and Rachel were down to their bras and panties. My mind was spinning happily; I didn't know where the night was going, and Rachel and Nanci were building to some kind of big fight, but honestly, I really couldn't care all that much because there was all this girl-flesh in front of me, right
there
.

“Change of game!” called out Rachel as she quickly dealt out another hand of draw poker.

“You can't do that!” scoffed Nanci, tucking her too-short hair behind her ears.

“Sure, I can!” said Rachel happily. “My house – my cards – my deal. Instead of betting clothes, this hand we bet
kisses
!”

I shot a look at Rachel and saw the mischief in her eyes. She was making up the rules as she went along, but that didn't seem to bother her. Or me. I could see how excited she was, and though I wasn't sure in which direction her excitement would lead us – to something good or something bad – whatever way she went, I was going along for the ride. I was just happy to be back with her. I remembered those pink panties with the little bow.

“Whoever loses . . . has to
kiss
whoever the winner says,” said Rachel, gathering up her cards greedily.

We looked at our cards, contemplating them and the new rules.

“I'll take two,” I said, shooting a quick smile to Rachel.

She dealt me the cards and said, “This will be the first boy Nanci's kissed in ten years. Other than her relatives. No offense.”

“I kissed your father,” said Nanci, looking down at her cards.

“You
what
?” said Rachel.

“You think you know so much, Rachel,” said Nanci with a smirk. “But you don't know everything!”

“You're lying,” said Rachel, going back to her cards.

“Your father put the moves on me before he moved out,” said Nanci, looking directly at Rachel, who recoiled as if she had been slapped.

I tried to head off an explosion.

“She's just saying that to upset you,” I put in, but Nanci cut me off.

“What do you know, Mr. Ivy League?” she shot back. “You're still looking for Eric to come walking in!”

“I wouldn't bring that up if I were you!” I said, sitting straight up on the ottoman and pointing right at her face. “How many cards do you want?”

“Four,” said Nanci. “I have an ace.”

Rachel snickered derisively, “I'm not going to say anything about
that
,” and dealt the cards in front of Nanci.

“Straight flush!” screamed Rachel when she won. “I guess my luck is finally turning.”

“I wouldn't bet on it,” said Nanci sourly.

“Luck evens out,” I pronounced. “It's one of the laws of nature.”

“OK, loser,” said Rachel, addressing Nanci with savage delight. “Now you have to kiss him” – she waited a malicious little moment, and added tauntingly – “unless you want to kiss me more.”

Nanci said, “Rachel, why are you being so horrible tonight?”

Rachel snapped back with a laugh, “Just be happy I invited you over here. You're lucky that I let you into my life. Or else you'd be stuck in your room with your hash, your inhaler, and your art.”

Nanci flinched and stammered back, “You
let
me into your life? Are you – you don't know how much of a joke that is.”

“So why don't you kiss
me
instead of him?” said Rachel mockingly. “That's what you really want.”

Rachel's eyes sparkled with malice as she watched Nanci. I really didn't know what to think: Was Nanci really in love with Rachel all along? It never occurred to me, though I'll admit I'm kind of an innocent on these things. It might seem hard to believe now, but it's the way I was then.

“No,” said Nanci curtly. “I'll kiss
him.
”

I think Rachel was a little jolted at how fast Nanci snapped back her answer.

Nanci got up from the couch, swaying to her feet in her big, white bra and wide, white panties. Her flesh was pink and a little blotchy. She turned toward me with a smile.

“Don't be shy,” she said as she came toward me, working her way around the table. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Rachel, watching us intently.

I stood up from the ottoman as Nanci closed in on me. She was breathing heavily and trying not to show it.

“I should have brought my inhaler,” she said with a twisted smile.

“Don't you take it everywhere?” I asked, seeing how big she was before me.

“Not everywhere,” she said. “Sometimes I forget it.”

She was right in front of me now.

“Kiss her!” said Rachel. “Go ahead. She needs it.”

Nanci leaned toward me, closing her eyes. I had no choice but to kiss her.

“Feel her if you want to,” Rachel said. “You
know
she's soft and gooshy.”

Nanci kissed me harder, forcing herself toward me. I felt her fleshy, wet fish lips. I started to draw back.

“Don't go –” Nanci muttered, trying to pull me toward her.

“You can touch her,” whispered Rachel. “Go on. She'll be grateful.”

Max started to bark like crazy in the laundry room.

“Shut up, Max!” Rachel yelled, getting up from the couch.

“Please –” breathed Nanci into my face. She kissed me again and held me. She tasted different from Rachel.

“Do what you want,” urged Rachel. “She won't mind. You're doing her a favor.”

Nanci cringed, but she kissed me harder, holding me closer. I felt her skin against mine. The dog kept barking.

“Shut up, Max!” Rachel said, going someplace out of my sight, maybe to see about the damn dog.

Nanci kissed my neck and held me tight to her. She seemed to be all over me, the way I was all over Rachel. Her belly pressed against me.

“Come on,” whispered Nanci. “You remember. Be my toy.”

She gave me another deep kiss, and I had to kiss her back.

“Get her!” said Rachel from somewhere. “Kiss that fat cow.”

“Ow!” said Nanci, pulling away from me, hit by something. “What are you doing??”

I pulled back from her and saw that Rachel, with the fireplace poker in her hand, had just poked Nanci in the butt.

“It's my cattle prod,” said Rachel with a fierce smile, holding the tip of the poker up toward Nanci's face. “Go on, kiss him again.”

“Stop that, Rachel!” said Nanci, pushing the tip of the fireplace poker away from her and rubbing her behind. “You're drunk, and you're –”

“Right!” laughed Rachel. “You're kissing him,
wishing
it were me! I see it in your little piggie eyes.”

I didn't know if Nanci was going to cry or throw something at Rachel. By then I had the feeling – more than a feeling, a
dread
– that something bad was going to happen, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. It was like a boulder, rolling downhill, and if I put my body in front of it, I would have been crushed.

“Take off your bra,” said Rachel, pointing the fireplace poker at Nanci's chest. “Let's give him a good laugh. Then we'll talk about those giant grandma panties –”

“
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
”

The voice came from the entryway to the back room, and we all turned at once.

Like a nightmare, there was Eleanor, standing there in a fit of rage.

“
WHAT IN THE NAME OF HELL IS THIS???
”

I looked over at Rachel, and she was as surprised as I was.

“The first weekend I leave you alone – the very first! – and look at you!! And what the hell is
he
doing here??” Eleanor pointed at me with a long, red fingernail as she walked straight at Rachel. She was wearing a purple whatdayacallit –
a pantsuit
– with this very loud, flowery scarf, and her hair was all done up fancy, and she walked like an angry man, spoiling for a fight.

Rachel stood her ground, though I could tell that she was super shocked, and we had been drinking all that bug juice, which made us – at least me – a little woozy.

“W-W-What is
he
doing here?” Rachel parroted, “What are
you
doing here? You weren't supposed to be back until tomorrow! And where's
Herb
?”

“Herb? Herb can drop dead,” sneered Eleanor. “Is where Herb is. That piece of gahbage just dropped me off and left.”

“Hah!” Rachel stifled a laugh.

“What's so funny?” said Eleanor. I could swear that Eleanor had been drinking, too, the way she was slurring her words.

“Nothing,” said Rachel. “So what happened?”

“We had a big fight, right in the middle of the bar at the Maidstone Club fuhgodssake,” ranted Eleanor. “A place I've always been dying to go to! And right in front of all these ritzy Hamptons people. I am finally finished with him and his crap! Tomorrow he's going to come and move all-a his junk outta here!”

“Good,” said Rachel, and I smiled warily, watching how she played her mother.

“Don't say ‘good,'” Eleanor practically sprang at her. “You didn't answer me:
What
is
he
doing here?”

“He's here,” Rachel said firmly, standing her ground. “Because I invited him here. That's what he's doing here.”

“Did I or did I
not
give you explicit instructions not to have anyone over?” Eleanor practically spat in her face. “Not when I wasn't home. Except for Nanci.”

“Yeah, well,” said Rachel, stalling for some strength. “The truth is . . . I didn't think you'd be home. I thought you'd be gone all weekend with your
boyfriend
.”

“Boyfriend, my ass,” said Eleanor. “I'm never gonna see that creep again, believe you me.”

“Good!” said Rachel.

“STOP SAYING ‘GOOD!'” shouted Eleanor, getting closer to Rachel. “You are in big, big trouble! Bigger than you know.”

Rachel stood her ground, still holding the fireplace poker. I think she held onto it to give herself a feeling of support and force. Eleanor was taller than Rachel and was asserting her dominance over her daughter. In fact, Rachel seemed on the verge of weakening at Eleanor's onslaught, but she fought back anyway.

“The fact is, Mother,” said Rachel. “The fact is that I'm entitled to see who I want, where I want, when I want. I'm eighteen, and you can't stop me. You have no right.”

“No right?” snickered Eleanor, her hands on her hips.

“Yes! No right!” Rachel shouted back.

Eleanor laughed, “Look at you! Talking about rights – in your underwear.”

“Better than you look in yours,” Rachel shot back at Eleanor with a tight smile. “A
whole
 
lot
better.”

That stopped Eleanor for a moment, so Rachel attacked.

“Maybe Herb wouldn't be after me all the time if you didn't look like
this,
” said Rachel, pointing with the poker at Eleanor's body. “In fact, he told me that he can't stand to touch you. You should see the faces he makes behind your back!”

“You little tramp!” Eleanor hissed. “Well, maybe it's just because you can't keep your clothes on in front of him. I keep telling you to close your robe, but you can't help but try to flash your little boobies and –”

“At least they're not down to my knees!” Rachel shot back.

Eleanor gasped with anger. “You ungrateful little snotnose!”

“‘Ungrateful'?” Rachel yelled. “Tell me, Eleanor, what exactly am I supposed to be grateful for? For ruining my life? For going out of your way to make my life miserable, like it was your hobby or something? And when I find a boy who's kind and decent and not one of these country club –”

Eleanor shook her head scornfully, cutting her off, “I give you everything, and look what I'm left with. I've always known what you are: a selfish, unfeeling, unloving –”

“You're looking in the mirror, Eleanor!” Rachel sang out derisively. “The mirror!!”

“I stayed with your father for almost twenty years for you!” Eleanor said the word “father” like a curse word, just the way Manny said “mother.”

Rachel wouldn't take any of it, shouting back, “That wasn't for me! That was for
you
– and your American Express card!
And
your Diner's Club card!
And
your Master Charge! And the bills from Saks and Lord & Taylor –”

Eleanor interrupted, “I see that you have no problem spending money.”

“And who taught me to spend money?” Rachel said, right back in her face. “All you ever could do for me was
buy things
. The only love you
know
is money.”

“You never turned it down –”

“It's all I had!!!”

They both stood there for a moment, taking a breath, like two fighters between exchanges. Quite frankly, I was frozen. It was so ugly, so horrid. I sort of knew it was like this between them, but not this horrible. I looked over at Nanci. Tears were streaming down her face.

Eleanor looked at me with cold, angry eyes. I thought she was going to say something to me. Instead, she turned on Nanci. “How could you let this happen?” Eleanor spat at Nanci. “What's wrong with you?”