What The Heart Wants (18 page)

Eric’s hand went around her to grab her ass, pulling her against him. Anna could feel his hardness straining through the forgiving fabric of his sweatpants. She shifted upward and brought her softness down against him. His breath hissed out of him and she groaned at the contact. She moved her hips tentatively against him, her body parting for him to push against her.

Her breath came out in shallow huffs as she moved up and down against him. Eric grunted, his hand grabbing her leg and pushing it off of his hip. He lifted himself upward, rolling her back onto her back and positioning himself on top of her. She gasped, her hands grabbing for his hips as he pushed his erection against her core. She felt the whole hard outline of him push rough against her pants fabric, parting her and sliding against her desire.

Eric pushed himself up on his arms, looking down at her with very small eyes. She reached a hand up toward his neck, pulling his face down to hers and kissing him hungrily. Her legs went up around his hips, wrapping across his body as she brought her hips up to meet his.

She felt her climax building, a clawing overwhelming urge for fulfillment. She thrust her hips against his, pulling him tighter with her legs. She heard Eric groan, pushing roughly against her, his speed fast and frantic. Her breath caught suddenly in her chest, unable to inhale or exhale as her orgasm slammed into her body. Her legs shook around him as her arms pulling him against her, moaning as her body crashed through her climax.

Her legs fell from around his back, feeling weak and shaky. Eric leaned forward, kissing her across her neck and upward, finding her lips and kissing her softly before slipping his tongue inside her mouth, lazily toying with hers.

Anna’s fingers grabbed at his back again, her legs going up on either side of his hips. Eric chuckled quietly against her cheek. “Ready again already?” he asked, moving off of her body. He knelt between her legs, grabbing the fabric of her pants and panties and pulling them downward. He fumbled, trying to free her feet and she giggled.

Once off, her thighs snapped together, blocking him from looking straight at her wet softness. Eric sat back on his heels, reaching out and running his fingers up and down the sides of her thighs and calves, patient. Waiting for her to overcome her shyness. Anna sighed, her legs pushing forward, outstretching toward the end of the couch, parting around Eric‘s body.

He continued his exploration, but moved further upward, brushing her hipbones and meeting at the center of her lower belly. On the next stroke upward, his fingers moved toward the inside of her thighs, the skin soft and warm. She found her legs staying close together but Eric’s hands stopped on her belly. One finger slipped downward, brushing the top of her sex before carefully slipping down between her delicate folds.

“You’re so wet for me baby,” he said, his voice husky. His finger moved downward once then up, toying with the area around her clit but not touching the sensitive point. A groan wretched its way out of her lips and her legs fell open to his gentle exploration.

Eric smiled. “That’s better,” he said, his free hand reaching out to hold hers. “Now I can do this,” he said, three of his finger moving lower. They stopped at her slick entrance, pushing against her but not penetrating. His fingers pulsed against her slowly and hard.

Anna whimpered, rising up to him. Wanting more. Wanting something she wasn’t sure she was familiar with. Wanting to feel a fullness inside, she realized. “Eric…” she started, licking her dry lips.

“No not yet, baby,” he answered her silent question.

Anna sighed, leaning back down against the cushion in frustration. Eric laughed down at her, his eyes wicked as he pressed against her, teasing at what she wanted but refusing to give it to her. Anna smiled up at him, suddenly pushing herself up to a seated position. Eric’s eyebrow quirked for a second before his eyes widened, shocked, as her hand reached out toward him, massaging the tip of his cock over the fabric of his pants.

A strange, strangled laugh escaped him, his forehead leaning forward and landing on top of her head. Emboldened, her hand snaked upward and under the material. She realized with a feeling of shocked amazement that he didn’t have any underwear on. Her fingers found his long, hard shaft and grabbed it tightly, stroking up and down at a devastatingly slow pace.

Eric looked down at her and laughed under his breath. “You’re evil,” he said.

Anna kept stroking him, his head falling back with his eyes closed. His hand stilled against her, moving to form a fist against her thigh as she stoked his desire.

He reached up suddenly, pulling his shirt over his head. He gently pushed her down against the couch, pulling each leg out of his pants and quickly lowering himself on top of her.

Anna felt his cock push against her sensitive inner thigh. Her body tensed. This was it, she realized with clarity. They were both fully naked. He was on top of her. They were going to have sex.

Eric kissed her hungrily, finding her lips pliant and unmoving underneath his. He pushed himself up slightly, looking down at her face. Her eyes were tightly closed, her hands in fists at her side. “Anna,” he said quietly. “Anna look at me.” She opened her eyes slowly, feeling uncertainty, nervousness, and the fear of the unknown churn around inside her. A strange toxic combination that had her feeling nauseated. Eric’s eyes lost some of their intensity, his lips moved into a firm, straight line. “You don’t want it to be me, do you?”

Anna felt something inside of herself break open. A new kind of clarity. Something she was trying to keep buried. She knew what she wanted. Who she really wanted.

Eric nodded numbly, moving away from her. He stood up quickly, pulling his pants back up his hips. He sat down on the far and of the couch, elbows on his knees, and head in in hands.

Anna laid there still for a moment, feeling like she had just fell off a cliff. She looked up at Eric, a part of her relieved, but a bigger part of her full of regret. If there was one thing she knew to be unfair, it was to string somebody along. Even a womanizer like Eric O’reilly deserved more respect than that.

She sat up slowly, unfolding her body like a cat from sleep, barely disturbing the fabric below her. She scooted closer to Eric’s side.

“Eric,” she said quietly.

Eric took a deep breath, releasing his head from his head and turning slightly to look at her. There were still the traces of desire there but, more prominently, she saw a disappointment and a deep sadness. She felt realization dawn on her fast and sharp. Eric had feelings for her. Not just the pretty-newcomer-I-want-to-sleep-with feelings, but actual genuine feelings for her as a person.

He shook his head at the regret in her eyes. “It’s okay, baby.”

“It’s really not,” she said, her hand reaching for his. “I never meant to…”

“Anna,” he cut her off. “judging by that weird look in your eye, I don’t think you even knew.” At her perplexed look he laughed slightly. “I don’t think you realized you wanted him.”

“I wanted you too,” she said, her gaze falling from his.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “but not the same way.”

“It should be you,” she said, looking up at him with small smile. “You make more sense.”

Eric laughed, grabbing her bra and shirt and handing them to her. “How do you figure?” he asked, reaching for his beer. “I’m a whore. You’re a virgin.” At her shocked eyes, he laughed, a real full laugh. “Oh, baby you didn’t really think I didn’t know did you?”

“God, it’s that obvious?” she asked, clasping her bra shut.

“Yes, it’s that obvious.”

“Gee great,” she sulked, starting to stand, but stopping suddenly. Eric chuckled, turning his face away so she could locate her panties.

“It’s not a bad thing,” he said, turning back to her. At her outrage, he snorted. “Your naughty bits are covered,” he said and enjoyed the blush rising in her cheeks. Enjoying her embarrassment, he winked at her. “They’re very nice naughty bits if I do say so myself.”

“Oh my god shut up,” she said, her face hot. She pulled her pants up her legs before sitting back down next to him.

“He’s a good guy,” Eric said unexpectedly. “Much better than I am.”

Anna leaned her head against his shoulder. “You sell yourself short,” she told him. “You’re a lot better than you are willing to believe.” Eric’s cheek rested on her hair. “I really really liked you,” she said, a sadness in her voice.

“But you love him,” Eric said.

“What,” Anna said, sitting up straight. “I don’t love him.”

Eric smiled at her, his old, familiar charming smile. He patted her leg. “Okay.”

“What the heck am I supposed to do now?” she asked to herself.

Eric stood up, walking to the fridge and pulling out two more beers. “Go to him, strip naked and tell him to ravish you,” he suggested and she laughed. He handed her the beer. “You go to him,” he said simply, shrugging.

“What if he doesn’t want me?” she said, feeling insecure. “Or when I’m about to have sex with him, I realize it was you along?” she asked, smiling.

“In that case,” Eric said, grinning widely. “You come right back here and I’ll show you all the reasons I have such an awful reputation.”

Anna felt her core clench at the idea, surprised she was still attracted to him when she finally realized her true feelings.

“Oh don’t give me that look,” Eric shook his head. “or I’m gonna forget that I am being the bigger man here and ravish you myself.”

Anna laughed, a silly happy sound. She recovered, smiling up at him. “I love you, Eric,” she admitted, her voice soft, the way it was when you tell a family member or friend you love them.

“I love you too,” he said, his voice deep and his eyes fixed on her and sad.

Anna stood up and closed the space between them in two steps. She slipped her arms around his waist, settling her face against his chest. It took a few second but his arms went around her, squeezing her so tightly she had trouble sucking in air. He held her for a long time.

The sound of a horn below pulled them apart. Eric walked over to the window, pulling the blind open and looking out. “Duty calls,” he said, shrugging.

Anna reached for his shirt, throwing it to him. “Hey,” she called as he started toward the door.

“Yeah?”

“We can still see each other, right?”

Eric walked back over, putting his hands on her shoulder and looking at her, uncharacteristically serious. “You can see me anytime you want no matter what, okay?”

His face demanded response. She smiled at him. “Okay. Now go to work,” she said, pushing him toward the door and following him down the stairs.

She was about to walk out of the garage when he called out to her. “Tell him,” he said.

“Okay,” she said, walking over to her car and getting in.

Easier said than done.

Sixteen
 

Anna drove home slowly, trying to talk herself into talking to Sam. She let herself into her house, and walked over to her bed, falling onto the soft pile of blankets.

She couldn’t bring herself to go. There was a tightness in her chest at the idea. She didn’t know what she could possibly say. “Hey Sam, I just realized I really like you” was just not going to cut it.

She went to bed early, curling into her pillow like a lover.

Anna was awake before the sun was up the next morning, changing quickly and going outside. She needed some distraction. And she needed to get her mind off of boys and back to work. The weeds in the bed out back were growing fast, almost as high as the plants from not being tended to for days.

She threw herself into work, pulling weeds until her fingertips hurt and she had a ten gallon bucket packed with them.

The sun came up hot and unrelenting, making sweat trickle down her back and neck.

Around nine- she sat back on her heels, looking over at Sam’s property. Then she was on her feet, walking quickly. She climbed up and over the fence, her heart pounding in her throat. She still didn’t know what she was going to say, but she needed to get it over with before she choked on her own anxiety.

His house came into view. She glanced around, not seeing him outside anywhere, she opened the back door leading into his kitchen. She skidded to a stop right inside the entrance. Sam was standing there, brewing coffee.

His head snapped over at the sound of the door closing. “Anna,” he said, his brows pulling together. “Everything okay?”

Anna’s eyes went round. What the hell was she thinking? “Um, yeah. Yeah everything is fine. I just… I wanted to come over and… say hi,” she fumbled, feeling dumb.

Sam’s eyes looked unconvinced for a moment but he smiled at her. “Well hi,” he said.

“Hi,” she said, shaking her head and looking out the door, like she was debating just running.

“Are you sure…”

Anna lost track of what he was saying. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw something moving. Her head turned, curious. And there was a woman. In the doorway to the kitchen. Wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt.

She was gorgeous, Anna realized with a sinking feeling in her chest. She was the kind of tall that Anna had always admired, tall but not manly. She had the most stunning straight black hair that fell almost to her waist. Anna felt the lightness of her own hair and suddenly missed her long locks. Her face was dominated by high, sharp Native American looking cheekbones and huge gray eyes with thick black lashes. From what she could see with a baggy shirt on, the woman had a wonderful figure, wider hips and large breasts.

Envy filled her immediately. The girl looked at her, a strange mix of surprise and discomfort filling her face.

Sam finally noticed Anna’s attention to the side of the room, looking over and smiling. “Oh, Hannah,” he started.

The girl, Hannah, held up one hand with long delicate fingers. “Hold that thought, I didn’t realize you had company. I’ll go get dressed.”

Anna shook her head. She needed to get out of there. She felt like she couldn’t breathe. Sam was seeing someone other than her. He had her in his house in the early morning. He had obviously had her there overnight. He had slept with her.