What You Do To Me (Unexpected Love) (49 page)

             
“No, there really aren’t a lot of options. I’m
sorry, but
I won’t budge on this. I love you, but I won’t uproot my girls for you, especially when I don’t know
that
you won’t crush me and the girls.”

             
Alex
gave
me a puzzled look. “What makes you
think
I have any desire to hurt you or the girls?”

             
“Maybe not intentionally, but it could happen. Tell me truthfully, have you ever been faithful to anyone
you’ve
been with?”

             
Alex
looked
like
I had
punched him. “Where is this coming from? Have I given you any reason to doubt me?”

             
“No, but answer my question.” I
looked
at him sternly.

             
“No, bu
t…
”

             
I quickly cut him off. “No, so am
I
crazy to think that
I’m
different th
a
n the rest. You have no clue how to be in a committed relationship.”

             
“Abby, you are different and this is different. I’ve never loved anyone that I’ve been with or cared about them enough
not
to think of myself first. With
you,
all I think about is what I can do t
o make you or the girls happy. So maybe I have never not been in a relationship where I
was
fully committed, but it doesn’t mean I can’t or won’t.
”

             
“Let’s say you try the committed relationship and it works and you move to my small little town. Honestly, be honest with yourself and me, how long will you be happy living there. Tell me
that
you won’t be restless. Can you really see yourself happy in a small town? What will you do? You can’t give up everything and arrange your life around us, because you’ll eventually hate us. Just
like,
I can’t move to California and be a trophy wife while you do your thing. I wouldn’t be happy. I’d hate myself for losing myself again and I’d resent you for allowing me to do it.” The
protective
bubble we
had
been in the last twelve hours
had
popped and the conversation and realization
of everything
was
now being thrown in our faces.

             
“Are you
done?
Can I talk now?
” Alex waited
and I nod
ded my head to let him know I was
done. “If I didn’t want to move
there,
I wouldn’t. I need you to listen to me and actually hear me. I need you and the girls in my life. I couldn’t be restless or unhappy with you in my life. Do you know the happiest part of my day is when I’m talking to you guys on the phone or through Face Time? I wake up looking forward to that part of the
day,
and if I can make it so I can wake
up to
it, and have that feeling all day,
that is what I want.”

             
I was shaking my head no
and I scooted off his lap. “You can’t give this up for me. I won’t let you.” Alex grabbed my leg to keep me from moving
too
far away.

             
“I don’t want any of this if I means giving you up.” I could feel the tears in my eyes, bu
t wasn’t sure how to respond
.

             
“Come on, you need to get your stuff together.” I grabbed his hand as I stood to walk to the bedroom.

             
Once we were in the
bedroom,
I sat on the chair as he
packed
his things. He didn’t have much to pack since he was basically living out of his suitcase. He dug
in, pulled out a shirt,
and threw it at me. “Wear this tonight and see how you feel in the morning.” I pulled it up to my face and smelled it. I could never get enough of his smell.

             
I
stood,
walked over to my bag and pulled out a stack of his shirts. I walked over and handed them to
him. “They lost your smell. I washed them so you could saturate them again for me.”

             
Alex reached over and pulled me to him. “You
know,
if you allowed me to move by you, I could let you smell me whenever you wanted.” He bent over and kissed me.

             
I let out a sigh, “It’s not that I don’t want you there, I just want you to make sure you want to be there.” I rested my forehead on his chest. “You should head downstairs and get going. Take care of
the problem with Johnny
and then we will figure us out. Make sure this is what you want. Not just what you want now, but what you are willing to live with.”

             
“I will, but I know it won’t change.”
Alex kissed me and led me to the door with him. Before he opened
it,
he leaned down “I’ll try to call you tonight. If I
don’t,
I need you to know I want
to.
I’m just not sure how things will go with him tonight. I love you.”

             
I gave him a reassuring smile. “If you
can’t,
I understand. You need to be there completely
for him,
not
just
physically.
Can you do that for him
?”
Alex
nodded
his head
yes,
leaned in
,
and kissed me. I shut the door behind him.

             
I walked into the bedroom to pick up my phone to call Lexi. I told her everything that
had
happened since I got
there
. She
sounded
a bit panicked from the attack
by
Johnny and made me take a picture to send to her. She did reassure me that I did the right thing by lying to Alex.

             
Sam stopped in later to hang out, but I wasn’t great company. I was exhausted from the day, all the talking and thinking. Unlike
Alex,
Sam didn’t
buy
my story of the
tree,
so I told her the
truth,
after making her promise not to tell Alex. Unlike
Lexi,
she didn’t agree with my decision to
withhold
the truth from Alex. She understood my choice, but didn’t agree with me on the why
.

             
I flew back to Michigan the next day and as
promised,
Alex and I talked most days and night
s
.
I told my family and friends the falling into a tree
story,
and with my
coordination,
everyone seemed to believe me. The only ones who knew the truth were Steve, Sam and Lexi
,
and I wanted to keep it that way for now.

             
Johnny
refused
rehab
,
so Steve and Alex brought in an addictions counselor to try to convince Johnny to enter a treatment facility. I could tell Alex’s patience was getting thin and he didn’t want to stay much longer.
Everyday,
he would begrudgingly agree to stay after reassurance from me that he was doing the right thing. Every once in
awhile,
I would find the girls
on Face Time with Alex on the iP
ad he had bought them. When I
entered,
they all seemed to quiet or start laughing,
as if
they were planning a secret or something. In the
beginning,
I thought it was cute, but after
awhile,
I was getting slightly annoyed by the
behavior.
One
day,
I snapped and yelled at all of them, including Alex. He called me later to apologize. He then started to text me to make sure it was
okay
to chat with the girls.

             
It seemed
as if
he was gone forever, but in
reality,
it had only been three weeks since the Portland trip. I
missed
him and I hated to admit it. I tried keeping myself busy by getting my classroom ready, organizing the girls school
clothes,
and taking advantage of the nice days by going to the beach.

             
The last week in
August,
I tried calling and texting Alex, but I didn’t get a response. I called
Sam,
slightly worried, but more curious
as
to where Alex was and why he wasn’t answering the phone or texts. Sam told me that Johnny
might
have finally hit rock bottom and agreed to a
rehab
facility
, but Steve and Alex had to get
him settled
and take care of a few things on the band end
. She promised to have him call as soon as possible.
The next two
days,
I was so busy that I didn’t catch any of his calls. School was just a few days away. I needed to finish last minute classroom
things,
as well as last minute clothes issues for the girls. Every time I saw
that
I missed a
call,
my heart sank and I would try to send a text. I was starting to face the reality of things, that this would be our relationship. I didn’t know if I could do it, but I told Alex when things
settled,
we would talk and before I completely
closed
the door on
this,
I
needed
to talk to him.

             
The Saturday before Labor
Day,
the girls and I decided to take advantage of the beautiful summer
day, so
we headed
to the beach with
our
cooler full and beach bag packed with everything to stay
until
early evening. I figured it was the last beach day of the year for us and
we had better
take advantage while we could. I always looked forward to a new school year, but hated the end to the summer. The feeling was so bittersweet.

             
Lexi decided to join us for part of the day, but left around
lunch,
because she had to get ready for an important date.
Her
budding summer romance was heating up and I was so happy for her. She deserved to be happy. As long as I
had
known
her,
she
had
never taken a full interest in any man for a long period of time. This one had to be special and after meeting
him,
I realized how perfect he was for her.

             
The girls and I were building a sand castle when I looked up and saw a man walking down the beach towards us. I stared at him, thinking I was seeing Alex, but I knew that it wasn’t possible. He was thousands of miles away. I realized how much I
missed
him and the ache for him was doing crazy things to my mind.
I went back to making the castle with Lily when I heard Josie yell and
I saw her
start running. I looked up and realized she was running to the man and that man was Alex. I jumped to my
feet,
holding the plastic shovel in my hand.
Alex scooped Josie up and kissed her on the cheek. She wrapped her arms around his neck and my heart
grew.
The
holes that were left
by
David were now filled with the love coming from Alex.

             
Alex walked towards me with Josie in his
arms
and the other two by his side. “What are you doing here?”

             
“Johnny is all set and all my loose ends are tied up. I’m sorry it took so long to get
here
. I was hoping to spend a few weeks of the summer with you here.” Alex was smiling.

             
Josie jumped into the conversation. “Can we tell her now?” I looked at her and then back to Derek. He set Josie down and kneeled by the girls.