What You See (16 page)

He looked at me and said, “I can see you’re going to break my
heart.”

The
phone rang and startled us both. The digital clock beside the bed read
2:00 AM
. “Please tell
me it isn’t my mother,” I begged as Cole reached across me and picked up the
receiver.

“Hello,” he muttered, half-asleep. “Yes, she’s right here.”
He looked at me and smiled. “It’s your mom.” He buried his head under the
covers and chuckled.

“Hello, Mother,” I said as Cole’s hands explored parts of my
body. It soon became difficult to concentrate on the conversation.

“Honey, it’s late. We were worried. I’m so sorry to bother
you. I know this must be embarrassing,” she rambled. “Tell Cole, I’m sorry.”
There was a lull in the conversation and finally she said, “What with all the
weird cases you and Billy have been working on, we were scared. We thought you
were in a ditch somewhere.”

“I’m glad you called. Cole has me tied up to the railroad
tracks, and I can’t get loose,” I joked, sensing a sigh of relief on the other
end of the line. Her fears of my lying dead in the road somewhere were only in
her imagination. I was alive and well.

“May I talk to Cole, so I can apologize?”

“Yes, you may.”

I handed the phone to Cole and replied, “My mom wants to talk
to you.” It was my turn to giggle.

“Yes, ma’am,” he answered. “That’s perfectly all right. Call
anytime you feel the need... Yes, I’ll tell her... As soon as she’s finished
cleaning and doing the laundry, I’ll let her go home... I’ll tell her you said
that... Good-night.” He hung up the phone.

“Your mom said to tell you to please call if you’re not
coming home tomorrow. She seems to think you’ll never get your housework done
here in time to make it home for dinner.”

“Oh, crap! I’m not going to be home for dinner tomorrow. I
forgot to tell her,” I said, remembering Billy’s invitation to his family’s
get-together. “I have a party to go to.”

Cole stared at me with a strange look in his eyes. “Do you
have a date tomorrow? Have I lost you already?”

“Well, sort of,” I said. “Billy’s taking me to his family’s
celebration. He says they celebrate various holidays during the year. It’s
supposed to be some kind of big shindig.”

“Is it a date?”

“Not in terms of a date like I’d have with you, if that’s
what you mean,” I whispered. “Billy’s my boss and my friend, but my heart will
always belong to you. Did I just say that? What a corny thing to say.”

I could have slapped myself at that very moment.

“I don’t think it’s corny,” he said as his face met mine. “I
think it’s kind of nice. You stole my heart the first day I met you. It’s about
time I stole yours.”

We made love again... and I was in heaven.

It was still dark outside when I awoke Sunday morning. I heard
noises downstairs. It took me a few minutes to remember where I was, as the
night before flashed through my head. I never wanted to crawl out of this bed,
or Cole’s arms. I could stay here forever.

I didn’t get a chance to check out Cole’s bedroom to any
great lengths last night, but I knew there was a bathroom up here somewhere.
Wrapping the sheet around me, I found his bathroom. I showered quickly and
threw on the bathrobe I found on the back of the door. It smelled like him.
Hmm...

I noticed the phone had rung a couple of times while I was in
the shower, and it was ringing again when I went downstairs to the kitchen.
Cole had the dishwasher running, and was talking to someone on the phone. He
didn’t sound very happy.

“I’m afraid you’re just going to have to deal with it, pal,”
he told the other person as he leaned over and gave me a quick kiss on the
lips. Thank God, I thought to smear toothpaste on my teeth, and rinse out my
mouth.

The clock on the kitchen wall beside the refrigerator read
6:10
. Through the sliding glass doors in the living room, I could
see the light of a new day breaking. Life was beautiful!

I needed some coffee. He pointed to the coffee pot, and
continued to give the person on the phone a hard time. I was taking my first
sip, when he hung up the receiver.

“
The
fur is flying, as they say.”

“What do you mean? What happened?” I asked.

“Let’s see,” he responded as he counted on his fingers.
“Deputy Briggs called to tell me the perpetrators from the gas station have a
rap sheet the length of my arm. It seems the gunman, Tyree Wallace, got
released from
Attica
a week ago after doing a nickel for
boosting cars. While he was in the joint, he met up with his pal, Randy Blains,
who was doing two to five for robbery. Blains got released the day after
Wallace. Seemed they had another connection besides prison—they’re both from
Texas
. Once they got out, they headed back to
Texas
. On the way, they met us!”

“What’s going to happen to them?”

“They’ve been charged with six felony counts. They’re on their
way back to prison. You can count on it.”

River moseyed into the kitchen and wanted to play. I think he
liked the idea of having me around.

“Would you like some breakfast?” he asked as he retrieved a
frying pan from the cabinet. “I thought I’d fix us something to eat.” He went
to the refrigerator and took out a package of bacon and a carton of eggs.

“Who else called? I heard the phone ring a few times.” I
didn’t want to sound nosey, so I added, “My mom didn’t call again, did she?”

“As a matter-of-fact, she did,” he replied. “Billy called
your house to say he’d be picking you up around
noon
,
and your mother told him you were here. She’s upset because she didn’t know
that you wouldn’t be home for the cookout they’re going to have. Billy was mad
because you spent the night with me.”

“Oh, boy,” I mumbled.

Cole put his arms around me and whispered, “Just tell me last
night meant something, and I’ll be happy.”

“It did,” I softly said.

After breakfast, Cole and I went upstairs with the intention
of getting dressed. A blissful hour later, we crawled out of bed. He went to
the bathroom to shave, while I dressed. River lay by the bed, taking everything
in.

I decided to push the boundaries of our relationship. I asked
Cole if he’d go with us today. Of course, I’d have to talk to Billy about it,
but I didn’t think it would be a problem. I wanted to spend my time with him,
and hoped he wanted the same.

I was surprised when he replied, “One of the calls that I got
this morning was from my mother. I grew up with the Blackhawk family. We always
go to their family gatherings. Ever since my dad died, I’m the one who takes
Mom. She just wanted to make sure I remembered. Yet, she always calls to remind
me.”

My heart sank. Was this a rejection? Was he trying to tell me
that his mother comes first? Why not? I know mine does.

He walked out of the bathroom with shaving cream all over his
face. He smiled and kissed me, leaving traces of the foamy stuff on my lips.

“I told her all about you. She said she can’t wait to meet
you.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

After thinking about it for a while, I said, “Maybe we could
meet up when we get there. If Billy’s as angry as you say, I might need a
little time to smooth things over with him. I definitely have to fix things
with my mom. Why don’t we just play it by ear?”

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here when the dust
settles,” he answered. “I’m going to the station for a couple of hours to check
on our two prisoners. I’ll follow you out, and call you when I get back.”

“I’ll let you know if the dust has settled,” I repeated his
words.

He kissed me good-bye as I got into my car. He walked over to
his Jeep, turned and then said, “I see you bought a new car.”

“Yes,” I answered. “I bought it from Billy’s brother, Daniel.
He owns a car dealership. But I guess you know that.”

I put the key in the ignition and started the car. I didn’t
want to leave. I was afraid that if I left now, Cole would forget all about me,
or maybe decide he didn’t like me as much as he thought. There I go... just
another one of my insecurities... abandonment—being cast aside and forgotten.
I’m sure somewhere in this world there’s a psychologist I haven’t talked to
yet, that could probably help me with that problem. Unfortunately, I haven’t
found him.

In the rearview mirror, I watched Cole drive behind me. He
was headed to the Sheriff’s Office, while I was going home to face Mom and Dad.
What a nightmare! How would I explain what happened last night? Let’s see,
folks. I haven’t had sex in six—maybe eight months—and I had to have it. No,
I’ll tell them the truth. The truth is... I spent the night with a man who
makes me feel wonderful. He makes me feel like a real person. He does things
for me that nobody has ever been able to do. I don’t think I’ll tell them that
last part.

Oddly, no one had anything to say about last night. Mom
didn’t bring it up, and Dad wasn’t home. Athena wasn’t even interested. After
she jumped on me and licked my hand, she retreated to a corner. Good, I didn’t
want to answer any questions. Mom and I did discuss our plans for today. It
seems Billy had invited them to go, and since none of the grandchildren were
going to be here for the weekend, they decided to join us.

“I hope you don’t mind, Jesse,” she said.

“I think it would be nice. That way, you and Dad could get to
know Billy a little better. You’ll like him, Mom.”

“We already like him, honey. It’s just that your dad’s
concerned about the kind of work he does. I think your dad might be right.”

I knew she was talking about that crazy Mrs. Miller, and I had
to agree with her. Yet, I didn’t want her to worry every time I walked out of
the door. We would both go insane.

“Sometimes things happen that have nothing to do with the
work,” I said, trying to reassure her. “That woman was probably unstable, and
would’ve killed her husband eventually. She went off the deep end.”

“It seems a little dangerous to be dealing with people like
that.”

“Mom, you could encounter someone like that at the grocery
store. You just never know. Every time you get out on the road, you face
danger. You put your life on the line.”

Changing the subject, Mom said, “Your Dad walked down to the
mailbox. We forgot to check the mail yesterday. He should be back any minute.
I’m going to fix us a sandwich. Do you want one?”

“That sounds good to me,” I replied. “I’m going to change
clothes. If Billy’s coming at
noon
, I need to find a clean pair of
jeans now.”

“Are you wearing jeans?” she called to me as I reached the
top of the stairs. “Don’t you think you should dress up a little?”

“Mom, it’s a cookout. We don’t need to get fancy. Billy said
it was definitely a casual affair.”

I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and comb my hair. I
looked in the mirror. My waist length, (dyed) red hair, was starting to look
ragged. It was boring. I wore my hair in a ponytail most of the time. Even that
was starting to get old. It was time for a change. I found myself examining
every aspect of my physical being. Perhaps, I should start exercising. I’m
thirty-one years old. Everything’s going to start falling apart.

I have to stop thinking like that. Every time a new man comes
into my life, I start analyzing myself to death. It’s self-destructive...
something I don’t need. I can change the way I look, but I can’t change who I
am.

Keeping that in mind, I put on a little makeup, and went to
my closet to see what I had to wear. After choosing a clean pair of jeans and a
T-shirt, I dressed, and then headed downstairs. I went to the kitchen and
realized I was hungry. Food had not been important earlier. All I could think
about was Cole. He was the one. I knew it!

“Where’s Dad?” I asked. “Shouldn’t he be back by now? It’s
only ten minutes to the mailbox.”

“Oh, he’s probably met up with one of the neighbors,” she
said while she sliced a tomato.

“Mom, I’ve been home almost an hour. Maybe I should walk down
and see if he’s okay.” I was quickly becoming consumed with worry.

“I didn’t realize it had been that long.”

“Come on, Athena,” I said. “Why don’t you and I go find Dad?
Do you want to come along, Mom?”

“No, honey. You and Athena go. I’ll finish the sandwiches.
I’m sure everything’s fine. Tell your dad to get back here. I have a snack
almost ready,” she said, trying to hide the fear I saw in her eyes.

The closer I got to the mailbox, the more concerned I became.
It doesn’t take anybody this long to walk a tenth of a mile. Hopefully, Dad had
met up with one of the neighbors. All of that went out the window when I came
around the bend. Just across the little concrete bridge sat Cole’s Jeep and a
police car with its lights flashing. Cole was standing in the middle of the
road talking to an officer.