When Angels Cry (21 page)

“We’re here,” he said finally.  “But that doesn’t mean you can peek.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.
And how, pray tell, do you propose we get from this truck to
wherever it is we’re headed?” 
Kaylee laughed
,
 
h
er arms still folded across her chest.

“I’ll take care of that.”  Bastian opened his door and stepped out.  As he stood in the night air, he realized the falling snow had thickened and now came down rapidly
.  Just like the night we first met
, Bastian thought, slamming his door and walking to the passenger side where Kaylee waited patiently.

He opened her door.  “Okay, I’m going to pull you to the edge of the seat and then turn around so I can give you a piggyback ride.”

Kaylee laughed aloud.  “You’re joking, right?”

“I never joke about piggyback rides.
  Scoot your bottom this way.
”  Bastian grabbed Kaylee’s arm and began to pull lightly. 

“Just my bottom?  Don’t you want the rest of me, too?” Kaylee asked innocently as she moved toward the door.  Already she could feel the blast of winter air blowing toward her.

“Okay, smartass.  Yes, I want the rest of you.”  Bastian waited until she was at the edge of the bench seat and her legs dangled outside before he turned around and grabbed her thighs.  “
N
ow I’m going to lift you.”

“Woo
-
hoo
—lucky
me,” Kaylee said, draping one arm around Bastian’s neck.

Hoisting her onto his back, Bastian adjusted her weight and asked, “How is that?”

“Um, bumpy,” Kaylee replied, wrapping her legs around his, once accidentally rubbing her leg across his crotch.

“Hey
.
  Don’t go feeling me up, Woman.  I’m not a Braille
Grey’s Anatomy
.  Let’s get that straight,
” he said, clamping his fingers
on her thighs. 

Kaylee leaned close to his ear. 
“You were the one who blindfolded me in the first place.
  That means you can’t hold me responsible for anything.”

Bastian shook his head, shut the truck door, and began walking.  “I can hold you any way I damn
ed
well want, but responsible wouldn’t be one of my choices.
  Can you feel that?
”  He looked up at the sky, and snow immediately showered his face.  Bastian blinked and shook his head, trying to clear the flakes from his skin. 

“You just told me not to,” Kaylee said in a
mock whine
.  As she felt Bastian stumble slightly over a dip in the ground, her grip around his neck tightened. 

“I’m not talking about Bastian Junior.  I meant that it’s snowing again.  I wanted to know if you could feel it.”  They were closer to the lights.  Just a few more steps and he’d have her there.

Kaylee shifted her weight slightly. 
“Oh, that.  No, I can’t.  You weren’t exactly specific or anything.”

“No, I guess I wasn’t.”  Bastian spotted a bench and stepped to it.  “Okay, there’s a place to set you down.” 

As Bastian lightly bumped her bottom on the bench, Kaylee jerked away from it.  “Wow, that’s cold
.
”

“Remind me to warm that for you later, my dear.  Here you go.”  ”
Bastian laughed
and
gently tugged the blindfold
free
.  He sat on the bench next to her.
 
Kaylee shoved both hands in her jacket pockets and stared out at the white lights shimmering in the water below, blurring as a northern breeze trickled through bare limbs.

“Geez, this is beautiful.”

“Not half as beautiful as you.
  I saw them stringing the lights earlier this week
, and
I figured it would be something spectacular to see. 
Of course, considering your art studio is just down the
street
, I’m sure you’ve seen this all before.” 
He put his arm around her and drew her closer. 

“Actually, no, I haven’t.”  Kaylee leaned her head against his chest.  “I was always too busy to pay attention, and Christmas isn’t much for me, considering my mother is out of the
St
ates
most of the time.  To me, it’s always been a mystery holiday
—until
this year.
”  She closed her eyes and squeezed him.

Leaning
in
, Bastian kissed
the top of
her head and savored the smell of her lavender shampoo.  “And what do you want for Christmas,
l
ittle
g
irl?”

“Just you, Bastian.  That’s all I want.” 
Kaylee pressed harder against his chest, trying to hear his heartbeat in spite of all the clothes he wore.  Just when she was about to give up, she heard the rhythmic beat and smiled.  He laid his cheek upon her head.

“You are one sick woman.  Do you know that?”  He didn’t wait for her to argue the point.   “Besides, you’ve already got me.  What else do you want?  Your wish is my command.”

“There is nothing else, Bastian.  Once I found you, nothing else mattered.  I just want what we have right here, right now, to last for the rest of my life.  You are all that matters.”
   

“Kaylee, what we have is incredible.  But it’s not everything.  Unlike me, it doesn’t define you.” 
Placing his finger under her chin, he lifted her face to gaze into her eyes.  He leaned over and kissed her.

Kaylee savored the taste of his kiss, and when her eyes opened, she asked, “What did you mean by that, that unlike you it doesn’t define me?”

“
If you’d never have fallen in love with me, I’d be a nothing, just as I was before I met you.  It was you who made me into someone.”
  Bastian brushed the hair from her eyes.

Kaylee grabbed his hand and found the cold wind had chilled his skin.  She focused her eyes on the darkness in his, and even the cold melted in his gaze.
  She stared at the snowflakes collecting in his dark hair, sparkling in the moonlight.

“That’s not true, Bastian.  You were already somebody.  Maybe you didn’t like that person very well because you thought you needed to be someone else.”  Bastian opened his mouth to speak, but Kaylee placed a finger to his lips.  “I know what you are going to say.  You’re going to say I fall in love too easily, but that’s not so.
 
I’ve never been in love before, but it’s not that I haven’t had the chance.  I’ve dated lawyers and doctors and everything else in between, but none of them touched me the way you have.”

Bastian saw the lines of honesty in the set of her lips.  Her eyes were wide, much too wide to conceal the tears pooling there.  She was pale and haunting and beautiful, and he knew for all his life, there was only one woman who would make him feel so damned alive.  He looked away.

“Yeah, well maybe they should have tried fishing you out of a pond and giving you CPR.” 

“That’s not it, Bastian.  I don’t love you because I’m grateful
you
sav
ed
my life.  I fell in love with you months ago, long before I knew the story of your life and how it would eventually intertwine with m
ine.
  I love you now
in
the present, Bastian, because it is the only way I can.  We have no past together, and we can have no future.  There is only now.”
  Kaylee shook her head as the wind blew her long hair over her shoulder. 

His arm fell from around her, and his body suddenly seemed so close to hers he could feel her every breath as though the two were breathing as one.  Bastian closed his eyes, and worry creases appeared in his forehead as he grimaced. 
H
e forced open his eyes
,
offer
ed
her a faint smile
, and
put his arm around her again.

Chapter Fifteen

Despite the noon rush hour traffic, Kaylee had managed to arrive at O’Hare in time to meet Angie’s flight from Trenton.  Since Bastian had never described his sister, when she’d e-mailed Angie last night, she
’d
wr
itten
that she would be wearing a black pantsuit with a calf-length black leather coat.

During the thirty-minute drive, Kaylee stared not only at the thick traffic, trying to avoid tail-gating
the
cars in front of her, but also at the slate sky from which snow continuously fell in full, wide flakes
that
adher
ed
to her windshield and quickly melt
ed
just before the wipers
could
brush them away.  Frowning, she wondered if the snow would delay Angie’s arrival.  She tapped her hand nervously on the wheel and prayed
t
he plane would land on time
. 
Kaylee didn’t know if she could do all this again.  Half of her thought Bastian would eventually appreciate the effort
;
t
he other thought penguins would fly.

As Kaylee saw the silver bird ease to a stop at the loading ramp, she took a deep breath and forced her hands together
to stop their trembling.
  One by one, the passengers disembarked and brushed past
, and Kaylee
began to wonder if there had been some sort of miscommunication as the number of passengers exiting the plane dwindled, leaving her to question
whether Angie had a
ctually made the flight.  In fact, she had just resolved to head back to the car when she spotted a young woman in a black pantsuit.  Staring for just a moment, Kaylee wondered if that were her.  Then the woman slowly raised her hand and waved.

Bastian’s sister had come.

A lump formed in Kaylee’s throat, and she forced herself not to panic.  Even if Bastian hated this, he couldn’t hate her, could he?

“Kaylee?  Kaylee Renard?” the woman asked.  From a distance, Angie appeared attractive enough, but up close, her honey-blond hair, dark brown eyes, and inviting smile actually painted quite a beautiful picture, and the moment Kaylee really scrutinized the shape of her eyes and mouth, she knew Bastian was her brother.

“That’s me,” she said quietly, offering her hand.  “You must be Angie.”

Angie shook her head. 
“I can’t thank you enough for calling and letting me know about Bastian.”
 

“How was your flight?” 
Kaylee stiffened and cringed inside, wondering if she were doing the right thing
.

  “Bumpy,” she replied as they walked toward the baggage claim area.  “I guess it was okay
, but
I hate flying
; I’d
rather be at the dentist having a root canal.”

Kaylee laughed. 
“I can relate.
 
We need to head that way to get your luggage.”  She poi
nted toward a hall.   As she walked next to Angie, she realized that the woman was about two inches shorter than she was.  Her layered blonde hair softly framed her face.  Kaylee could also smell the Obsession perfume Angie preferred.

“Where is Bastian?”  Angie asked.

A crowd had already gathered around the conveyer belt
as
the
luggage from the flight began
to
appear.  Angie scanned the suitcases coming toward her.

“He’s taking care of some details at the studio to get ready for the classes he’s teaching.”  Kaylee brushed the hair from her face.  “How many suitcases do you have, and what color are they?”  She, too, focused on the conveyor belt.

“Two, both tan.
  And there they are.
”  Angie pointed in the general area of two suitcases matching that description.  She waited until the luggage started past and reached out for the larger one while Kaylee grabbed the other, placing it on the ground.

Once the suitcases stood on the floor next to them, Kaylee pointed to a restaurant across the corridor.  “Do you want to grab some lunch?  I know they couldn’t have fed you much on the flight
.
”

“A feast for rabbits, actually.”  As if on cue, Angie’s stomach growled and they both looked at it.  Kaylee laughed as Angie flushed
.
  “Well, I guess that answers your question, doesn’t it?” 

“Yeah, it does.”  She picked up the suitcase and led the way to the crowded restaurant.

“Does it always snow like this?
  It seems like it might delay the flights.
”  Angie looked out a terminal window to see huge flakes tumbling from the ashen sky. 

Kaylee nodded.  “Yeah, it probably will.  And yes, we do get lots of storms.” Again silence filled the space between them as they waited at the rear of a short line to get an overpriced sandwich and a soft drink.
 
Once they’d made it through the line and sat at a table, Angie peeled the paper from a straw.

“Bastian doesn’t even know I’m here, does he?”

“No.  I couldn’t figure out a way to tell him we’d spoken and that you were coming for a visit.  It’s not exactly easy to say something he doesn’t want to hear.” 
Kaylee spread a paper napkin across her lap. 
She quickly took a bite of her sandwich before she said something she might later regret.

“I’d like to see him.  I know that might be difficult for you, but it would mean a lot to me.”  Angie took a bite of her hamburger.

“How long has it been?” 
Kaylee wiped her mouth with her napkin
, and A
ngie looked vacantly at the table as though she were seeing something different than what was really there.

“A lifetime.  Maybe longer.”  She blinked and looked at Kaylee.  “What time will he be finished?”

“In a few hours.
  It depends on what he’s doing.  But I don’t know if he’s ready for this.” 
  Kaylee took a deep breath.  Beneath the table, she clenched the napkin in her fingers and ball
ed
it up.  She looked at the half-eaten sandwich and suddenly felt a dull pain blooming behind her eyes.  The throbbing sensation quickly stole her appetite.   

Angie frowned and placed both of her hands in her lap. 
“Why did you call if you don’t want me to see him?  There’s no point in me being here.” 

“I didn’t say I don’t want you to see him,” Kaylee argued, trying to blink away the growing pain.  “It’s just
…
complicated.  Bastian is complicated.”

Angie nodded.  “Tell me about it.  He’s always been that way.”

“He’s just so...angry
…
and I don’t want him to hate me for doing this.”
  Kaylee lifted her hand and began massaging her temples. 

Angie peered closely at Kaylee.  “Are you all right?  You’re a bit pale.”

Not now
, Kaylee thought. 
I can’t have an episode
right now
.  “I’m fine actually.  I just have a headache, that’s all.”

“I know you’re worried about how Bastian is going to deal with all this, but if you’re waiting for him to be less angry, it’s not going to happen.  He’ll be just as mad tomorrow or next year
. 
It seems there’s not a statute of limitations on some things.”
  Angie took another bite and a sip of her soda.

“I know,” Kaylee replied in a quiet voice.  She briefly thought about telling Angie that next year would be too late, but knew she didn’t want to open that can of worms.  She reached into her purse and found what she was looking for: a picture she’d taken of Bastian as he’d sat at the kitchen table.  He’d flashed her a rare smile, and, looking at the camera, he’d appeared so much younger, as though the burden of time had been erased.

“I know this isn’t what you want, but maybe it will help.”  She offered the photo to Angie.

With a trembling hand Angie accepted the photo and stared at it.  Her forefinger brushed over the area where Bastian’s face was.  “He looks so different.”

“Time does that to everyone,” Kaylee managed, touching her forehead.

“Yeah, I guess it does.”  She slipped the photo into her purse.  “How did you meet my brother?”  Angie picked up her Styrofoam plate and put it on the tray to be dumped.

“I had a...problem.
  He helped me out.
”  She cringed at that word, but didn’t know what else to say.  Despite the pounding in her head that seemed to get worse every minute, Kaylee focused on putting the left-over food on a tray, but the savage throbbing slowed every movement.

Angie grabbed her wrist. 
“Are you sure you’re all right?  You look positively ill.”
 

“I’m okay,”
Kaylee
managed
, smiling
weakly and th
inking
,
I
am ill.  It’s so nice of you to notice
.  The pain left her dizzy, and the food in front of her blurred. 
I have to get out of here.  I have to.

Kaylee rose from the table and walked toward the dumpster as her field of vision dimmed to a pinprick of light and the voices around her quieted against the blanket of white noise in her head. 
Sweet Jesus, I can’t make it home.
 

The blackness took over, and Kaylee knew nothing
save
the silence of sleep.