When I'm with You (17 page)

“Admiring the view?” Conn asked.

Rafe turned as his siblings came into the room. “Hardly. I hate wearing these things and I feel like a fool in it.” He tugged at the white lacy cravat that felt as if it was choking him. He hated fashion, preferred comfort any day. He was no dandy and had no desire to become one. His sailor's clothes might not be elegant, but he didn't feel like a fraud in them either. “Once I leave here, I'm never donning another one again.”

“But you look so dashing in it,” Elena told him, slipping her arm through his. “You all do, actually. Well, except you, Conn. You just look silly. But I think that's more because of your face than anything else.”

“How amusing,” Conn drawled, brushing something from his left sleeve. “And I'll have you know, I feel just as foolish as he looks. Rafe, I wish you would just marry
someone
and get it over with. I've had my fill of this island. I'm ready to take to the sea again.”

Serena coughed and covered her mouth with a gloved hand. Rafe shot her a look, but she was all innocence. “I'll take Bermuda over Puerto Rico any day. I wish I could go with you, Rafe, when you go to New York. I'd love to see the Colonies.
Papi
keeps promising to let me come with him one day, but that one day never seems to come and I doubt it ever will.”

“Why are you so desperate to go there?” Galen asked, lounging against the doorframe. “You've been to London. New York is the same, only so much more uncivilized.”

“And how would
you
know?” Conn asked mildly. “This is the farthest north you've ever been, little brother.”

“I know because I hear people talk. Diego himself mentioned how much he dislikes going to the Colonies the last time he returned from a voyage there.”

“That's only because he hates any place that isn't home these days,” Serena broke in with a sniff. “He worries too much about what Claudia is getting herself into.”

Galen grinned. “Have you seen her lately? He has good reason to worry. When did she grow up and fill out so nicely?”

Elena made a face as she twirled about to make her skirts puff out. “Honestly, Galen, she's like a sister to you. You shouldn't even notice she's a girl, never mind notice that she's
filled out
.”

“But she isn't my sister, and she most certainly has filled out.” Galen's grin became all teeth. “Trust me.”

Rafe chuckled, ushering them all out of his chambers. “Diego would be so happy to know you're leering over his daughter.”

“Not to mention she has two older brothers, and all three of them would probably cut your thing right off and not think twice about it.”

Rafe and his brothers all stopped in their tracks, and Elena halted her spinning to stare at Serena, who shrugged and said, “Well, he would. Now, you three go on ahead.” She shooed them off with both hands. “I need to speak with Rafe.”

“About what?” Conn asked, arching a brow at her.

“Never you mind what. Go on. Go.” She shoved Conn, who looked annoyed but merely shrugged.

“What's going on?” Elena asked, one brow raised and her lips pursed as if she was getting ready to taste something spicy.

Serena's expression mirrored Rafe's impatience. Elena could be just as stubborn as the rest of them. It was a family trait. Now was not the time to humor her. He also wasn't about to bring her up to snuff on the situation. The fewer people who knew, the better. He didn't need the additional madness, even if Elena agreed with him.

“Elena.” He pushed as much authority as possible into his voice. “Just go.”

Her eyes widened, then narrowed sharply as she looked from him to Serena. “What's going on?”

He smothered a rising curse as she folded her arms and leaned back against the wall. Her stare pierced him, even as he growled, “Nothing you need concern yourself with.”

Galen was eyeing him with equal suspicion, and he felt very much like a boy who'd just gotten caught trying to sneak a peek at his first naked woman. Conn tapped his younger brother on the arm. “Let's go. No sense in going hungry if we don't have to.”

Galen didn't look convinced, but he nodded, reaching out to take Elena's elbow. “He's right. My belly's already growling. Let's go.”

Relief surged through Rafe when the three of them took themselves off. As they rounded the corner, he turned to Serena, crossing his arms to glare at her. “So, what is it?”

Her narrow dark brows rose. “Oh, well, if that isn't the friendliest—”

“Serena.”

The word was a low rumble, and she sighed, waving off his impatience. “All right, all right. I went to see Katie earlier.”

“What? Why the devil would you—” He caught himself, remembering she didn't know he'd already spoken with Katie. “And?”

“I'm not so certain I should tell you. You're being a beast.”

“Serena, please. I'm in no mood for games right now.” The back of his head still hurt from where the maid had hit him with the vase. Although he couldn't really complain about how that part of the day had ended. True, beneath a hot, stuffy canvas sheet wasn't the most perfect spot for seduction, but it had served his purpose well enough. Katie forgave him. Now he just had to prove himself to her. Which he would do, once the matter with Sally was settled.

“Fine. I've arranged to meet her in the library tonight. Would you care to join us or should I bring her to you?” She said it so pertly, as if making plans to go shopping, that he just stared at her for a long moment.

Then a slow grin stole over his face. “Did you?”

She nodded, looking very pleased with herself. “Which is it? If I were you, I'd want her brought above to my room, since Lord only knows
who
might happen to have a sleepless night and go in search of a good book to read. The library would be terribly risky, if you know what I mean.”

A pointed look accompanied her words, and it was on the tip of his tongue to scold her for her cheek, but he stopped. When the devil had she grown up? “You shouldn't even be suggesting such a thing.”

“Oh, stop it,” she scoffed. “I've kissed a man or two, you know. Don't trouble asking me who, because I'm not going to tell you. Come along. The sooner we get to dinner, the sooner the evening will come to an end. And the sooner that happens, the sooner you can wipe that perpetual scowl off your face and enjoy a bit of—”

“Rena.”

“What?” Her laugh tinkled merrily down the corridor. “You asked me to help you, didn't you? That's all I was doing. Helping. I'm a romantic at heart, and I know I'm supposed to pretend I don't know anything about what the two of you are going to do—” Color flooded her cheeks, sweeping up to disappear into her hairline. “But I just want to sigh when I think about it.”

He smiled. For the first time, he was seeing her, not as the small child who had followed him everywhere but as a grown woman, and it was as unsettling as it was admirable. “You really are a scandalmonger, aren't you?”

“Hardly. This is going to have a happy ending. I can feel it.” She beamed up at him and slid her arm through his. “And I think you finally deserve that, Rafe.”

Chapter Fifteen

Never had time gone by so slowly when she willed it to travel on swift wings. Every time Katie peered at the clock in the kitchen, it seemed as if it had only moved a minute or two. And since the footmen were healthy and hearty—and more importantly, all accounted for—none of the maids were sent above.

The servants' meal seemed to take an eternity as well. Abigail was unusually subdued throughout the meal, and Katie wondered if Mrs. Bates had given her a stern dressing-down for causing such an uproar. All through dinner, Katie thought of little else but how, at that moment, Rafe was breaking the news to Lady Sally that he would not be proposing to her.

She didn't know what would happen after that. Would Lady Sally come storming down to fire her on the spot, or would she be discreet and ask to speak to her privately before ordering her out of the house? Or would Katie just be able to quit? Or would Rafe just do the smart, kind thing and not mention her at all? That was the tact she
hoped
he'd use. Still, unease swirled through her. Why hadn't Lady Sally rung for her help to get ready for bed?

She shoved the disquieting thought from her mind.
Think about it later
.

Finally, the house grew quiet as, one by one, everyone went to their chambers for the night. Once she and Martha were safely ensconced behind a closed door, Katie confessed her plans for the night.

Martha's smile was almost as bright as Katie's, and she clapped her hands. “I love when things work out for the best,” she said, throwing her arms about Katie to hug her. “We need to make you look even more beautiful before you go.”

“I'd settle for looking well-rested.” Katie sank onto her bed. There was one thing that marred her happiness, and she didn't want to say it out loud. To say it might bring bad luck.

Unfortunately, the words refused to remain unspoken, pressing against her teeth, torturing her tongue until they wormed their way free. “Lady Sally is going to be so upset.”

Martha waved a fierce hand. “Don't spare her a thought. She'll be upset until the next eligible gentleman comes to call, then I highly doubt she'll even remember Captain Sebastiano's name. Especially if the gentleman is of suitable rank. She's sweet, but fickle.” She patted her own bed. “Come and sit, and I'll fix your hair.”

“Fix it? How?”

“Where's your butterfly? The blue one? I'll pull this up—” Martha gathered the hair at Katie's temples in both hands and pulled it back, “—and pin it with the butterfly. Then we'll fluff it all around your face. Captain Sebastiano won't know what hit him.”

Katie practically floated as she fetched the butterfly from its box. She couldn't believe how giddy she felt, like a child about to be given a very special present. It was a delightful sensation, one she hadn't felt in a very long time. Her entire body felt tingly, but in a good way, and she could barely sit still as Martha went to work on her hair. The urge to move, to pace, to stretch muscles leaping with anticipation, was almost more than she could bear.

Martha anchored the butterfly just above Katie's nape. “There!” She gestured toward the small mirror in the corner. “What do you think?”

Katie rose from the edge of the bed to peer at her reflection. The woman looking back at her was the lady she'd always dreamed of being. A true lady, indeed. In the soft glow of the candle, the day's exhaustion vanished from her face and her skin took on a flawless ivory sheen. With her hair drawn back the way it was, and without the cap to add years to her face, her eyes looked wide, and when she smiled she found herself faced with a reflection she couldn't recall ever having seen before—young and carefree.

She looked striking.

She wasn't beautiful. Would never be beautiful in the way Lady Sally was, and that was fine by her. She'd take striking any day.

There was something else. A flash of memory, like the glint of metal when the sun struck it. She squinted, trying to force the fragment to the forefront of her mind. Remembering her past only ever came in bits and pieces, and she worked hard to retain even the tiniest sliver of memory that came to her, to recall any reason why she'd forgotten everything from her childhood.

“I remember my mama dressing for…for…something.” She frowned, unable to remember exactly what the occasion was. The image in her mind wasn't clear but softly blurred by time and life. “We lived above a tavern. We owned the tavern, I think…”

Martha moved behind her to set the comb on the chest. “You never speak of your family, Katie. What happened to them?”

Katie shook her head, swallowing hard against the unexpected lump rising in her throat. How could she miss people she could only barely recall? The only thing she remembered about her mother was her blonde hair and—

Wait… She remembered a gentle smile. And a loving hand smoothing Katie's hair across a pillow. Their hair was the same shade of pale gold, equally thick and lustrous.

“I only remember snippets of this and that,” she muttered, squinting at the small oval of glass, as if it would help her recall more. “We weren't wealthy, but we weren't poor.”

“Do you remember what happened to them?”

Sadness crept in on her happiness, and Katie slowly shook her head again. “No. I—I don't. I don't know why, either. I should remember, but I just can't.”

Even as she said it, another image, a vivid picture she'd never seen before, came to life inside her head. Buildings shook. The earth rumbled.

“There was an earthquake of some sort,” she said finally, looking up at Martha. “I think our home was destroyed by fire.”

“Is that what killed your family?”

Katie propped her chin on her fist. “I'm not certain, but I don't think so. I've tried for years to recall, but the last memory I have is of my mother sleeping. I can remember looking down at her, but that's it.”

“And what of your father?”

“I remember nothing. I think he must have died much earlier than she did.”

Martha hugged her. “I'm so sorry, Katie. I wish you remembered more.”

“At times, I do too. But other times, I'm thankful I don't remember, because it must be terrible, if I've forgotten it. I'm not so certain I ever want to recall it.”

“Well, you look lovely, and Captain Sebastiano is going to have a hard time keeping his eyes in his head this eve. Your memories of this evening will be all good and you won't have to struggle to recall them. You'll see.” Martha gave her another squeeze. “Shall we see if the path is clear?”

Katie swallowed hard, her belly giving a mighty leap that was equal parts anticipation and fear. This was the greatest risk she'd ever taken and once she left the safety of her chambers, there was no going back. Fate was beyond her control.

She couldn't back out now. She didn't want to back out now. She rose onto somewhat unsteady feet and crossed to the door. Martha grinned as she cracked it open, then slipped her head out to look. Katie could barely hear her whispered, “It's clear,” over the roar of her own fear in her blood.

“Enjoy,” Martha whispered, laughter bouncing quietly through her voice. She shut the door behind Katie, leaving her in the thick darkness that wrapped about her like black silk. She knew the corridor well enough that this darkness didn't bother her.

She kept her footfalls light, freezing when she heard a soft creak coming from behind Abigail's closed door. Despite her instinct to just run, Katie remained motionless, pressed hard against the wall, and then chided herself for her foolishness. Flattening herself against the wall didn't render her invisible, and yet she couldn't peel herself free. Not until the creak was replaced by a loud snore. Then she breathed, and even smiled. She couldn't picture the tiny Josephine snoring so loudly. It must be Abigail.

Swiftly and silently, Katie hurried the rest of the way, taking care as she passed Mrs. Bates's chambers at the end of the corridor, right before the locked door separating the female staff from the male. She was also mindful of the fourth riser on the staircase. It had several loose nails and creaked.

With half her journey behind her, some of the tension faded. The odds of any of the Hamiltons being up and about were slim. And when she made it to the library, Katie felt more daring than afraid. They were almost there.

It was a moonless night, and she was almost on top of Serena before she realized Rafe's sister was there.

Serena clasped her by the wrist and whispered, “We have a bit of a problem.”

That sent a frigid spear of horror through her. “What do you mean, a bit of a problem?”

“My father is in Rafe's chambers.”

“What?” Katie squeaked, seeing all of her carefully thought-out plans shatter into a thousand shards, just like that. It couldn't happen—it wasn't fair if fate allowed it. Not fair at all.

“Keep your voice down, Katie!” Serena growled. “There was a problem. My father received a missive at dinner. He wouldn't say what, just crumpled it in his hand and shoved it in his waistcoat pocket. He and Lord Marchand disappeared into his office after supper, and when I came out to come down here, I heard him and Rafe speaking behind Rafe's door. I just hope it isn't
too
earth-shattering.”

Katie felt decidedly ill, her heart heavy with disappointment. She'd so been looking forward to this, and everything had been going smoothly up until this point. She sank back against the side of a chair. She folded her hands, pressing them to her chin in a silent prayer that their night could continue as planned, that she'd be going up to Rafe's room instead of having to return to her own. “I hope it isn't anything too serious.”

“I don't know.” Leather squeaked. Serena must have sat either in the leather chair or on the opposite arm. Neither of them wished to light a lamp and run the risk of giving themselves away. “He didn't look happy. I tried to listen, but they were both speaking in such low voices, I couldn't hear a thing.”

There was no telling how long they'd be ensconced in Rafe's chambers, and she couldn't stand there in the library all evening. Every moment that passed increased their chances of being discovered. Katie's shoulders sagged as she said, “Perhaps another night,” and moved to push away from her chair. “I'm sure there will be another opportunity.”

She was halfway to her feet when Serena caught her wrist again. “No. Come along. You can wait in our chambers.”

Even as her spirits rose, her common sense made her snap, “Are you mad? I can't have anyone else knowing about this. I'll lose my position here if I'm caught. I'm already increasing the odds by being out of my room for this long. No, this is just too risky. I should go right to bed.”

“Elena's not going to say anything to anyone.” With another squeak of leather, Serena rose and tugged on her arm. “And what if Rafe has to leave tomorrow? Then what? We're not going to have another chance like this. He'll be leaving soon. This is
it
, Katie.” Urgency wove through her words. “This is the only chance you're going to have.”

A sharp pain pricked behind her eyes. Everything was getting far too complicated for her liking.

“Rena, what are you doing?” Both Serena and Katie gasped as Elena came into the library, the flame of her candle throwing long, dancing shadows along the walls. Elena held the candle dish toward them, and her eyes narrowed. “What's going on? I
knew
there was something. You are all terrible at being secretive, you know.”

It was too much. Who else knew of her plans? Any moment now, she was sure Rafe's brothers were going to turn up. She would simply die if that happened.

Katie sank back into her chair. She didn't care any longer. She just wanted to scream from the frustration of it all. She did indulge in a groan as Serena said, “Is
Papi
still with Rafe?”

“Are you sneaking her in?” Excitement laced Elena's words. “
Mami
and
Papi
will
kill
you if they find out!”

“Hush!” Serena snapped, but some of her confidence seemed to have faded as she looked from Katie to her sister and back. “You didn't answer me. Is he?”

Elena shook her head. “I don't think so. But you cannot honestly be thinking you're going to get away with this.
Mami
and
Papi
are right down the hall from him. You've gone mad, Rena. Do you know how much trouble we'll
all
get into?”

The risk lost most of its sweetness as it swelled to even greater proportions. Her luck couldn't possibly hold out, was bound to expire at any moment. She wasn't going to keep pushing it. “I'm going back to bed. Miss Elena is right, this is madness and I'm not willing to lose my—”

“No one is going to lose anything,” Serena broke in flatly. Her eyes flashed with impatience. “Trust me.”

“Very well. If you're so determined to see this through…” Elena sighed. “Let me go distract them and make certain they remain in their room.”

“No, don't disturb them.” Serena gestured for them to follow her as she approached the doorway. “If either of them comes out, we'll just say you were sick and needed a maid's help.” To Katie, she added, “No one can fake sick like my sister. She should be on the stage, as I've told her a thousand times. She's wasting her talent on St. Phillippe.”

“I see.” Katie bit the inside of her cheek to keep from blurting out that she was a bit underdressed to be going to help anyone. She followed Elena down the darkened corridors, which seemed endless as they passed by door after door. Snores drifted out—both Conn and Galen were doing their best to bring down the rafters of Marchand Hall. Fortunately, the house was as well made as it looked. They disturbed no one.