When I'm with You (23 page)

He recognized her now, up close. “You're Katie's friend. The one who was going to fetch her when I was hit upside the head.”

She smiled then. “Yes, Captain. I am.”

“Where is she? My sisters tell me she's no longer in service here?”

A bright, feverish flush swept through her cheeks. “It was discovered she had been in this room…with you…and then Mrs. Bates
had
to let her go.”

“I understand that.” He had to fight to keep his patience, which rapidly slipped away. He had no desire to rehash history, but wanted to know exactly where Katie was that minute, so he could get to her. “Where is she? I need to see her.”

Worry crept into Martha's eyes. “I don't know, Captain. She left here without a recommendation or reference, so she knew she'd be unable to find another position here. It's a very small island in that respect. She said she'd most likely leave. Go back home to Jamaica, she said.”

The pit of his belly dropped, and a foul, bitter taste filled his mouth. Katie had to survive somehow. If she couldn't find work as a domestic, she would probably go back to being a barmaid. If she'd gone back to Jamaica, he knew how it would work out. A barmaid at Balboa's.

Or worse.

He couldn't hold back his flinch. No. The very thought of her being reduced to selling herself again infuriated him as much as it nauseated him. He stood, his hands clenched into fists at his sides.

“She left for Jamaica?”

Martha nodded. “That was her plan.”

“Good.” Despite his unease at what Katie might be doing, at least he had an idea of where to begin looking for her. “Thank you, Martha. You have no idea how much that helps me.”

“You're quite welcome, Captain. She loves you, you know. Very much, in fact.”

He managed a smile, all the while wondering
why
she would still love him, when he'd done so little to deserve that love. He knew why he loved her, but would always be baffled that she returned the feeling.

Serena smiled. “So, when are you leaving, Rafe?”

“I need to speak with
Mami
and with Lord and Lady Marchand before I go. I owe them at least that. And from there, I'm sailing for Jamaica. And this time, I won't stop looking until I find her.”

“Good. You know, Lady Sally has refused to allow Abigail anywhere near her. It's terrible of me, but I think it's delightful that spiteful little chit's finally gotten what's coming to her.” She turned a beaming smile to Rafe. “May I bring you some tea now, Captain?”

* * * * *

The door to his mother's chambers was ajar, and Rafe poked his head in to see her propped up on a mound of pillows. Her eyes were closed, but he didn't think she was asleep. “
Mami
?”

Her eyes opened and she smiled. “Come in, Rafe. I didn't know you'd returned.”

“I came into port several hours ago, but
Papi
stayed in New York. He'll captain the new ship, since Antonio perished in the wreck.”

A dark shadow crossed her face. She looked tired; the fine lines around her mouth and eyes seemed deeper. Her skin, which took on the reddish hue of her Carib ancestors when she spent a lot of time outdoors, was paler than normal. Rafe tried not to frown, but it wasn't like her to take to her bed. He'd never thought of his mother as old before, but now it dawned upon him that she was in her fifth decade of life. Her hair, once nearly as dark as his, was now silver, draping over her left shoulder in a long, smooth plait.

But her eyes remained the same—almost the same shade of silver-gray as her hair. While Rafe had inherited his father's golden-brown eyes, his mother's eyes were deep pewter when she was calm and seas of molten silver when she was angry or upset. They were pewter now, and as sharp as ever as she patted the bed beside her. “Come, sit.”

He did as she beckoned, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Mrs. Bates said you've had a headache from the rains?”

“It's mostly gone now. How did things go in the Colonies?”

“Fine. I'm sure
Papi
will tell you all about it when he returns. It shouldn't be more than a few weeks.” He glanced at the candle, flickering gently on the bedside table, and then looked back at his mother. “There is something I need to tell you,
Mami
,
and I don't think you're going to enjoy hearing it.”

Her jaw tightened, but all she said was, “Go on.”

“I'm not going to marry Sally. I've already spoken to her about it, and we both agree it would be a mistake.” It was a half-truth, as Sally had said nothing of the sort, but in time she'd agree as well. She had no choice, really.

Mami
closed her eyes and drew in a long, slow breath. As she exhaled with equal slowness, she said, “It's because of that…barmaid, isn't it?”

He hesitated as she opened her eyes, which had taken on a silvery hue. His mother was half his size, but every one of her children respected and, to a certain degree, feared her. Angering her was never wise, and since she looked so fragile there beneath the blanket he really didn't wish to upset her.

But he'd wasted enough time. He wanted to clear the air and take his leave of Bermuda for good. Aidrian could take care of any matters with the Marchand family once Sebastiano Distillers was their company completely. Until then,
Papi
would have to, for Rafe was done. He would gladly go to New York on a regular basis, or live in Europe if need be, but he didn't care if he never set foot on Bermuda's shores again.

He nodded. “Katie,
Mami.
Her name is Katie.”

Mami
closed her eyes again. “I see. Katie.”

She didn't sound upset. Rather, she sounded exhausted, as if she hadn't slept in weeks. An uncomfortable silence descended, and he jumped when her hand slid over his. “Do you love her, Rafe? Honestly?”

“I do,
Mami
. And I'm fairly certain she feels the same. Don't hold her past against her. Her life has not been an easy one.”

Mami
's
eyelids rose, and her eyes were tinged red. Tinged red, but more pewter now. “And your father, he knows?”

“He does.”

“He knows you plan to marry this girl?”

Rafe nodded. “We discussed it while we were both in New York. He isn't entirely happy about my decision, but he understands.”

Her fingers tightened about his hand, curiously strong for one so delicate-looking. “You know how I feel about her, Rafe. I cannot, in good conscience, claim to be happy right now. A match with Sally Hamilton would have been a good one.”

“No, it wouldn't. Neither one of us would have been happy in the end. She fancied Aidrian all along and I—”

“She would make a good wife for you, Rafael.”

He pulled his hand free and scowled. “Don't,
Mami
. I don't expect you to be happy, but I do wish you would respect my decision. This is
my
choice, not yours.”

“And I am trying, but you will have to give me some time to adjust.” She gestured to the long braided cord in the corner beside her bed. “Please. I would like something to eat. My stomach is rumbling as if I haven't had anything in days.”

The chair creaked as he rose to do her bidding and tugged on the rope. A sense of unease pervaded the room, which he tried to ignore. Being here didn't feel right, but he couldn't just up and leave so quickly. His crew had dispersed, no doubt drinking and wenching their way through the waterfront taverns. Even if he could find them and drag them back on board, he needed supplies. It would take him several days at least to be ready for a voyage to Jamaica.

When he turned back to his mother, he found her smiling serenely at him from the mound of pillows piled on the bed. Even so, the shadows beneath her eyes looked darker, while her skin seemed even paler than it had been when he first came into the room.

“Are you not feeling well,
Mami
?” he asked as he lowered himself back into his chair and clasped his hands between his spread knees.

Her fingers moved along the counterpane, sweeping back and forth over the deep ruby fabric. “I feel fine aside from this blasted headache. Why?”

“You look tired.”

“This weather has been wreaking havoc on me. And I never sleep well when your father is at sea. You know that.” Her fingers went still, and she held his gaze steadily. “Have you been in to see Sally yet?”

“No.” He sat back, crossing his legs to bring his right boot to rest upon his left knee. The chair may have looked beautiful, but it was one of the most uncomfortable pieces of furniture he'd ever encountered. The padding was almost non-existent and the straight-back design made his back hurt after only a few minutes sitting in it.

“You should. I'm sure she missed you while you were away. You two need only to talk and I'm certain you'll see how fine a match you'd make.”

He wasn't about to argue it with her. Not now. Obviously Sally hadn't told her about his dalliance with Katie, and for that he was grateful. He didn't know how long his sanity would last, should his mother learn about that night. Never mind that it wasn't exactly something a man wished his mother to know about to begin with.

“I don't even know if she knows I've returned,” he explained as the door swung open and Abigail entered.

“You rang, Mrs. Sebastiano?” she asked, not meeting Rafe's eyes. In fact, she looked at everything in the room
but
him, and spots of color rose high on her sharp cheekbones. Every time she looked up at him, she jerked her gaze elsewhere. So he made damn sure to watch her every move. The color in her cheeks deepened as she cleared her throat several times. Good. Her unease gave him a smug sense of satisfaction, and he didn't look away as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other and said, “Mrs. Sebastiano, you rang for me, Madame?”

“No. I didn't,”
Mami
told her indulgently, with a patient smile.

“I did,
Mami
,” he reminded her. “You said you were hungry.”

She shook her head. “No, I didn't. I'm not hungry at all.”

He frowned. “But you—” He cut himself off and turned back to Abigail, not troubling to curtail the curtness of his voice. “Tea and biscuits, unless there is any supper left.”

“I will see, Captain Sebastiano,” she told him with an uneasy smile as she finally met his gaze. “If not, there should be some raspberry tortes left from dessert. I'll bring you some.”

“Fine.” He waited for her to scuttle from the room, then turned back to
Mami
, who looked confused. Her lips were pursed and her brows pulled low to furrow deep over her nose. “What is it,
Mami
?”

“Why did you tell her I rang?” Accusation laced her words.

“Because you said you were hungry,” he repeated patiently. He knew how the foul weather made her head ache, and understood how distracting such a headache could be. “Remember?”

“I am, now that you mention it.” She resumed her rhythmic stroking of the counterpane, and silence descended upon them. Then she sat up straighter. “Where is your father? It seems as if I haven't seen him for weeks.”

Rafe looked away from the window, where he'd been watching a black-and-white longtail perched on the ledge. “I beg your pardon?”

“
Papi.
Where is he? At the harbor? Will he be home soon?”

“Are you serious?”

“Of course.” Her eyes narrowed sharply. “Has something happened to him? Is that why you won't tell me where he is?”

“He's still in New York,
Mami
. In the Colonies, remember? He went with me and stayed to oversee construction on the newest ship. He sent a missive a week after we arrived. Didn't it get here? I also told you, remember?”

“Right. You did, of course.” Although she still looked bemused,
Mami
slowly nodded her head. “Yes. A missive… It came.”

“
Mami
?” Serena poked her head into the room and pushed the door wider when she saw Rafe in there with her. “Oh, there you are.”

“Here I am.” He rose from the chair, arching his back and groaning with relief as his muscles stretched back into their normal shape. Joining Serena in the doorway, he asked, “How long as she been this way?”

“Been what way?”

“Serena.”

She sighed at his low warning tone and gestured for him to step out into the corridor. “I'll be right back,
Mami
. I need to ask Rafe something.”

“Of course,
mi hija
.”

Serena pulled the door closed behind her. “You've noticed it?”

“How could I
not
notice it?” He peered over his shoulder at the closed door. “She doesn't remember
Papi
isn't here?”

“She's been forgetful the last few days. I thought it was a combination of her headache and not sleeping much since you and
Papi
left. You know how she is when he's gone.” Serena reached up to tuck a lock of dark hair behind her ear, and her voice took on a worried tone. “But today she's worse than she's been. She rings for the maids, then forgets she's done so. She's come below at least three times, only to forget why each time. She's asked for you, for
Papi
, for Aidrian and Vanessa so many times I've lost count. Last night, Elena found her walking down the path to the beach in only her chemise. She sat up with her for the rest of the night to make certain she didn't do it again.”

As she spoke, a shadow fell across her face, making her look much older than her score and three years. Rafe caught her by the shoulders. “Has anyone sent for a physician?”

“I asked Mr. Jamison to, but either he hasn't or the doctor just hasn't arrived. I don't know where the nearest one is. If he lives outside the village, it could take a while.”