When Morning Comes (28 page)

Air hissed between his teeth. Gathering her to him, he stood.

Her arms clamped around his neck. “No. I won't let you go,” she said.

His forehead rested against hers. “It would take a stronger man than me to do that.”

“Then where were you going?” she asked when he kept walking.

“Bed. Protection,” Cade groaned just before he tumbled them back into bed.

*   *   *

Sabrina was up and dressed the next morning when she heard the doorbell. Cade had left thirty minutes earlier. She had wanted him there, but he wanted to give her time alone with her parents. Since her father was coming and he was less protective of her than her mother, Sabrina thought together they would be able to ease her mother's worries. She had a feeling that her father and Cade would get along.

Sabrina opened the door and was surprised to see her maternal grandparents as well. Even more surprising were the red, swollen eyes of her mother.

Fear swept through Sabrina. “Is Stephen all right?”

“Stephen's fine,” her grandfather answered. He looked tired and worried. Beside him, her grandmother kept blinking her eyes as if she was fighting tears.

“Oh, my baby,” her mother wailed and pulled her into her arms for a fierce hug. “I'm sorry. So sorry.”

Sabrina hugged her back, felt her tremble. Over her mother's shoulder she sought her father's gaze. He was always steady. Today he looked as if he hadn't slept in days.

Sabrina pushed away from her mother. “Would somebody please tell me what is going on?”

“Sabrina, baby—” her grandfather began, but her mother cut him off.

“No. I'll do it.” Her mother brushed tears from her cheek with the heel of her hand.

“What is it?” Sabrina asked, her fear growing stronger.

“Your mother will explain.” Her father curved his arms around their shoulders and seated them on the sofa in the den. “I love you both.” He kissed them and stepped back.

Her mother took Sabrina's hands. “This is difficult.”

“It's my fault,” her grandfather said. “I should have told you sooner.”

Her mother looked up at her grandfather. “No, Daddy. It's my fault for not taking responsibility for what I'd done.”

“Mother, please.” Sabrina scooted closer, putting her arm around her mother's trembling shoulders. “Whatever it is, we're family and family always sticks together.”

Her mother tightly shut her eyes. “Oh, lord. What have I done?”

Sabrina's father sat on the other side of her mother. “Do you want me to tell her?”

“No.” Her mother opened her eyes. “I have to do this.” She took a deep breath. “This is about Cade—”

“Mother,” Sabrina said, pulling her hands free and standing. “You had me scared to death that you were critically ill or something. Cade is the man I've dreamed abo—”

“He'll hurt you.” Her mother stood as well.

“No, he won't.” Sabrina took a step backward. “Nothing you can say will change my mind. Bringing Father and Granddad and Grandma won't help. I love him.”

Her mother palmed her face. Her husband drew her into his arms.

“I'm sorry if you disapprove, but I'm hoping you'll come around.”

Her mother lowered her hands. “That will never happen. He won't let it now.”

“That's not fair. Cade is—”

“The son I gave up for adoption.”

Stunned, Sabrina stared at her mother. Her mother had never been pregnant. They'd adopted because she couldn't conceive. Sabrina almost laughed, sure it was some kind of crazy joke until she noticed the shattered expression on her parents' and grandparents' faces.

“No,” Sabrina managed. “That can't be. Why would you give your child away?”

“Because his father was married and didn't want either of us,” she said, misery in every word.

Sabrina felt sick. She and Cade weren't related by blood but …

“Your mother didn't know at the time he was married,” her father told her. “She thought the adoption was best.”

“Best,” Sabrina said. “He was abused and degraded every day he lived with the people who raised him. How could you have put your child through that?”

“Oh, no,” her grandfather said, looking shattered. “I didn't know. My lawyer never mentioned the child wasn't being cared for and loved. I would have intervened. Your mother didn't know his name until last night.”

“His name is Cade,” Sabrina said, angry that fate had played such a cruel joke on them. “You know what he said to me? He said that if one of us had to be adopted, he was glad it was me.”

Her mother wiped away fresh tears. “I'm sorry for the way things turned out for him. I-I did what I thought was for the best. I didn't want him taunted and teased as a bastard.”

“Instead he was taunted and teased by the man you left him with. For so long, he dreaded tomorrow because of it,” Sabrina said, her body shaking. “Cade hated him and his birth mother and her family. And when you tell him he'll hate me.”

*   *   *

Cade slammed out of his car and rushed up the steps to Sabrina's house. He patted the note he'd found on his car seat when he'd gotten inside this morning.
“I miss you. Hurry back.”

Grinning, he rang the bell. Every day since he'd confessed he didn't look forward to tomorrows, she'd made sure that changed. She cared. He saw it in her eyes, the soft touches, the way she smiled at him.

He'd waited almost thirty-eight years to wholly love anyone. The idea didn't scare him. He was tired of being alone. Sabrina made life better, brighter. He was about to ring the bell again when it opened. Sabrina stood there, her eyes red and puffy.

He reached for her, but she shook her head, and evaded his touch. “Honey, what's the matter?”

“Hello.”

Cade jerked his head around to see Sabrina's mother and three other people. His gut clenched. His gaze swung back to Sabrina. “Did they get to you?”

Shaking her head, she circled her arms. “Cade, I'm so sorry.”

He opened his mouth, not quite sure what he'd say, then snapped it shut. He wouldn't beg no matter how much he wanted to plead with her not to leave him as everyone else had. “Good-bye.”

“Please wait.”

Frowning, he stared at Sabrina's mother, her hand clenched with the man's standing next to her. “Why?”

“There-there's something you need to know,” she said.

He could just imagine. He folded his arms across his chest, well aware his pose was defiant. “And what would that be?”

She swallowed, swallowed again. “I'm your birth mother.”

His arms dropped to his sides. He stared at her, hearing a rushing in his ears. He released the breath he'd held. Rage and resentment he'd fought to bury long ago surfaced.

“Why didn't you just abort me?”

Her gasp cut through the room. He didn't care. “You cared about your social position more than a baby who couldn't defend himself.”

“I didn't know you weren't cared for,” she cried.

“And that excused you?” Cade snapped. “I made a successful life in spite of you and the cruel man who reminded me every day how worthless I was.”

“Don't blame her.” A white-haired man stepped forward. “I'm her father. It was my decision to leave you with the Mathis family.”

“So your daughter didn't have to worry about the bastard?”

“I'm sorry,” the woman cried. “I thought I was doing what was best for you.”

Cade's laugh was ragged. “Lie to yourself if you want. You tossed me away because I was an inconvenient embarrassment. Well, I don't need you, and I could care less about your apology.”

He whirled to go and went still. Sabrina stood by the door with tears streaming down her face. His stomach knotted. His birth mother had deprived him of a normal childhood, and now she made it impossible to have the woman he loved.

“Please,” the man beside Sabrina's mother said. “She's punished herself enough.”

Cade whirled toward him, his fists clenched. “Did she go to bed hungry almost every night? Was she worked from sunup to sundown? Did she have to wear castoff clothes? Was she—” He stopped, his breathing uneven. “No, she was loved and pampered. She still is. I never was.”

Cade worked to get his temper under control. “What about my birth father? Were you at least honest enough to tell him you were pregnant with me?”

“She told him,” the older man said. “He didn't want you.”

“Just like you didn't.” Cade looked at them with scorn. “And now I don't want you. I hope you rot in hell.”

*   *   *

Cade wanted to put his fist through something, test the car's speedometer. He did neither. He'd learned early to control his anger or suffer the consequences. But this was more difficult than anything he'd ever had to do.

His hands flexed on the steering wheel. He'd tried to forget the woman who gave birth to him. He'd thought he'd succeeded. He'd been wrong. Looking at her brought back all the hurt and fears he'd had as a kid, that it was his fault that he was unlovable. He didn't know anyone at school who didn't live with a relative. He was different—unloved and unwanted.

Pulling into the garage of his condo, he quickly parked and rode the elevator to his floor. Punching in the code, he went inside, slamming the door, at last able to vent some of his building rage.

His birth mother's attack of conscience had done two things: irrevocably taken Sabrina away from him and confirmed that the man who'd raised him was right when he said Cade was an embarrassment to a rich socialite.

His birth mother gave him away and adopted two other children. To her he was just something to be tossed away and forgotten. She would have never given him a thought if he hadn't been dating Sabrina.

Restless, he went to his bedroom to change into his gym clothes. He'd never been to the fitness center in the building before, but he needed to work off his anger.

Unbuttoning his shirt, he tossed it on the bed. One sleeve landed on the nightstand next to the picture Sabrina had given him of them at the wine tasting. He remembered clearly her smile, her wanting to place the picture where he'd see it every day when he woke up.

He had liked having the picture, liked knowing that someone cared and made him happy. She'd taken the picture of them with her phone camera. They were standing in front of the dancing water fountain in Uptown Village, both were grinning because she'd whispered something naughty to him.

He jerked up the picture, started to fling it across the room, but remembered her tears. This was hurting her. But for them there could never be anything else.

The doorbell rang. He opened the drawer on the night table, put the picture inside, and went to answer the door. He expected the waiter with the brunch he'd ordered. He'd planned to bring Sabrina back and spend a lazy day in bed and out. He never tired of her or being with her. And she was lost to him forever.

He jerked open the door. Sabrina stood there with tears glistening in her eyes. She brushed past him. He swung the door shut and turned to faced her. Pride dictated she never know how much losing her hurt.

“It might be rude to barge in but I was afraid you'd close the door in my face.”

Oddly, that hadn't occurred to him. “What do you want?”

“For things to be the way the were, but that wouldn't be fair to any of us,” she said.

He knew by “us” she'd included her mother. He'd never think of her as his mother.

Her hand shoved impatiently through her hair. “Perhaps we shouldn't have ambushed you, but none of us wanted to tell you over the phone.”

“How long have you known?” he asked, his voice gravelly.

“Since this morning.” She swallowed. “They arrived shortly after nine. Although we aren't related, I felt … funny learning you were my mother's son.”

He flinched. “I'm not her son.”

She reached toward him, then let her hand fall to her side. “Placing you for adoption wasn't taken lightly.”

“I don't want to hear about her and her lies.”

This time she did touch him, placing her hand on his bare chest. His heart raced. “I care about you. Nothing can change that. I hope you feel the same way.”

“I hate the woman you call your mother.”

Sabrina shook her head. “She's your mother too, and she's hurting now.”

“You think I care what she feels?” He whirled away, spun. His chest heaved. “Whatever she's going though, it can't be a fraction of the pain and hurt I went through because she didn't want to be embarrassed.”

“It wasn't like that,” Sabrina said. “She thought it was best for the child—for you. She's a wonderful, loving woman.”

“Just not to me.” His face hardened. “She could have cared less what happened to me. She went on with her life without a thought of me. She adopted two other children.” He wouldn't be jealous of Sabrina or her brother. He'd succeeded in spite of all of them.

“She adopted us because she and Father wanted children,” Sabrina explained. “She learned after they were married for three years that she couldn't have children.”

“At least there's some justice in the world,” he spat.

“Cade, we can work through this. Please. I know it's hard and you're angry. I can't blame you, but please don't turn your back on what we have.”

He slowly shook his head. “Every time I see you, I think of her and what she did to me. The rage and hate I thought I'd buried boils to the surface. I can't think of anything else.”

“Cade.” Sabrina's voice trembled. She stepped closer. “Give it time. You can't let this break us up.”

“There is no ‘us' and there never will be.”

“Please, Cade. I love you.”