Read When Saint Goes Marching In Online
Authors: Tiana Laveen
When Saint Goes Marching In (46 page)
Saint crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back, enjoying the sound of her sweet, slightly raspy voice that always made him think of her in naughty ways.
“As the media let everyone know, Saint and I dated very briefly before we got married. However, in that time frame, I can honestly say I had more in-depth, profound, real, intense, loving and all around beautiful conversations in that short time span than I had with men I’d dated for years and years. He was an open book. I could ask him anything, as long as he could do the same with me. He was funny, he was loving, he was responsible. I felt safe with him, and that is what I needed. He knew I was scared. I was afraid of what others may say and think, and how they would treat me. My attraction towards him went beyond the physical. He is just a beautiful person all the way around, ladies. He and I talk about anything and everything. We are truly best friends. He is my…personal soldier.
“His heart is made of gold. He is a Warrior. He protects me, his family and anyone else that he cares about. He protects all of you, too, because he wants you to have the best that life has to offer. When you step out of your comfort zone, new opportunities arise. You have to take a gamble on yourself. It’s a risk worth taking.” Xenia briefly hung her head then looked back out at the audience.
“All relationships, even the real tight ones, go through challenges. I have some advice for you ladies. When your man has been good to you since day one, and something happens that makes you question him, give him the benefit of the doubt, no matter how bad it looks or seems. If he has not once caused you to believe that he was something other than what he said and exemplified, then don’t believe what other people tell you. If you are happy, people are going to come out of the woodwork to try and steal your joy. Once you are happy, ladies, truly happy with a wonderful guy, jealous people will come after you and try to destroy what you have. It is very sad, but it happens every day. That is something I was a bit naïve about, too. I didn’t understand that apart from the racism and the backlash from just being married to someone as dynamic and unique as Saint, I would also have to deal with people who didn’t want us to be together, simply because they wanted what we have and if they couldn’t have it, then, they didn’t want us to have it either.”
Saint crossed his legs. His fingers dug into his upper arms as the implication of her words hit him with full force. The memories of what they went through brought the anger, the torment back to the surface.
“I cannot recall one day, in the last six years that we’ve been married, where this man hasn’t bent over backwards to make sure that I and our children had everything we needed. Even when he was out of town for business, he’d make sure we were OK. I cannot recall one day when he may have said something that hurt my feelings and he didn’t sincerely apologize when I brought it to his attention. He loves me enough to put pride aside and that’s also something I needed in the man for me.
“He is an excellent father and adores his children. He spends time with them and is caring and loving towards them. Nobody is perfect. I’ve made my mistakes and according to Saint, he
hasn’t
made any.” Everyone started to laugh when Saint glared at her. “But if I had given into my fears, I would, quite honestly, probably be with someone that I was a lot less compatible with. I may or may not have children, which I desperately wanted, and I doubt I’d be nearly as happy as I am right now. You all were braver than I. You actually came to this conference in this huge auditorium, showing that you are at least willing to listen to what everyone has to say to you. You made a concerted effort to take your curiosity a step further. I wasn’t as courageous as you, so you’re starting out ahead of me already. Saint literally had to blackmail me for a date.” Xenia smiled at the audience’s reaction. Saint shook his head and blew her a kiss.
“He honestly did. I went on that date, certain I’d hate every minute of it. I thought he was an arrogant asshole and just terrible.” Hands on hips, Xenia waited for the laughter to subside. “Well, I found out two of the three I was wrong about. He is not an asshole and he’s not terrible.” Saint grinned. Xenia had won over the crowd and he never felt prouder.
“This man had somehow found out all of my favorite foods and brought them on an evening picnic date. He had flowers, a merry-go-round just for the two of us and fireworks.” Women ooohed and awwwed in the audience. “He went all out, and you can have that, too. You can have someone who wants to impress you but also keep that up, throughout the relationship. The same things he did to get you he should keep doing, and I can honestly say, that’s what I have.” Xenia smiled. “He’s my King. He’s my cover. He’s my lover. He’s my best friend, the father of my children and the one person I can rely on to see me through everything that life throws my way.” Xenia paused. She looked composed but Saint wasn’t fooled. He could tell by the glaze in her eyes that the emotion of her words brought her as close to tears as it did many in the audience. She was trying hard to stay cool and he wanted so much to get up there with her and take her in his arms, to tell her that everything was going to be alright.
But this was her time to shine. He wouldn’t take that away from her.
“He’s so good to me. He’s been real with me since day one. He let me see what he was, he told me what he was, and he is consistent. I love him so much, my heart just swells with it, and I want every single woman in here to feel as I do about someone, and have it returned to you tenfold.” Xenia looked over her shoulder at Saint. “I love you, baby,” she said, a trail of tears now freely streaking down her face.
It was time for him to comfort her. Her eyes said loud and clear that she needed him.
Saint stood up and slowly walked over to her. Everyone stood up and clapped as he wrapped his arms around her waist, looked down at her and kissed her passionately. This was met with whistling and cheering. Saint pulled away from her slowly, winked at her and pulled the microphone that Xenia was speaking into
from the podium holster. He cleared his throat.
“Well shit, let’s get this on and poppin’ then.”
Saint pretended like was unbuttoning his pants with his free hand. Xenia rolled her eyes at him and turned back towards the cheering audience with a huge grin.
“We’re going to our bedroom now, and none of you are invited,” Saint added causing the audience to erupt with laughter. He kissed her again on the forehead, patted her ass and returned to his seat after handing her back the microphone.
“Always the class clown,” Xenia laughed as she spoke into the microphone. “In conclusion ladies…” Xenia began.
“But you better act now!” Saint interrupted. “Because for $9.99, you can have your own Rainbeau, but wait! We’ll double your order – two for the price of one, not including shipping and handling, we’re not flying that mothafucka out for you.” Laughter erupted from the panel and the audience.
“I see my husband took his silly pills today,” Xenia laughed and shook her head.
“OK, I’ll stop,” Saint raised his hand and pulled back. “I’m being rude, ladies, don’t accept my behavior.”
Xenia
shook her head. “They can’t hear you, Saint. You’re not on the mic!” She extended a hand and offered the mic again. “Come on. I know you wanna get back up here so bad!” Saint stood up and walked back over to the podium.
“See ladies, he’s an attention hog!” she laughed. “He was just here talking non-stop and had all the attention and now he is chiming in on my time!” Xenia hit him playfully.
“Why is your ass back up here?” She raised an eyebrow in mock annoyance and put her hand on her hip. The comedy relief sketch worked wonders with the crowd. Saint grabbed the microphone while Xenia tried to push him aside.
“What I was saying is that it was rude for me to be back here joking and acting silly while she is trying to speak so I want to publically apologize to my Queen, my Empress, my Goddess and she will have no further interruption or interjections, or even intercourse, I mean, discourse from me…until later tonight.” Saint went back to his seat as the crowd guffawed.
“Nasty!” Xenia smirked as she turned back to the audience. Saint smiled and winked at her from his seat. “So ladies, in all seriousness, I couldn’t imagine being in a relationship that could make me happier. As you just saw first-hand, we’re very comfortable with one another; we are just like everyone else, only genuinely in love. He is everything I could ever want. If you expand your options, you’ll meet all sorts of men that you may have originally scratched off as an option, just because they are of a different race than you. You don’t have to settle for mediocre when you can have great. The key here is finding someone who is equally yoked and I’ve done just that. Don’t let fear of the unknown stop you from getting what you rightfully deserve.”
Everyone stood up and applauded as Xenia waved and walked away from the podium. She walked to the back of the stage and disappeared behind the curtain.
The way her ass shakes as she walks makes me wanna jump ‘er bones like I’d never seen that shit before! I love you, girl. I’d die for you, baby.
* * *
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The interview…
“This is Jazz, Radio Extraordinaire for the Adult Sunday Brunch Show here at KTWX 107.2. We’re back after that commercial break from our sponsors and are on the air with Dr. Saint Aknaten, author, controversial renowned speaker, husband, father, therapist and sexologist,” Jazz announced as she adjusted her headset.
“Dr. Aknaten, one of our emails regarding you was about religion and we do want to broach that topic. You’ve been seen wearing an assortment of deities in your jewelry choices and there is some confusion as to what God you serve.” Jazz smiled at Saint and cocked her head to the left.
“Jazz, I’m more spiritual than religious. I believe there is beauty in almost every religion on the planet. I also believe that religion is man-made, thus it is flawed. God isn’t flawed, so I choose to bypass religion and stick to my own home-grown brand of spirituality which encompasses mostly what I grew up around as well as my own beliefs that I’ve incorporated into that.”
“And what did you grow up around?” Jazz inquired.
“My mother was Buddhist and my father is Muslim. For instance, I believe in reincarnation. I don’t necessarily believe we come back as animals though, I think we all have an inner animal already so it is unnecessary but I do believe our soul drifts in and out of this world. I pray at least five times a day, as Muslims do; only I don’t set my prayer times by a clock. I also do salutations to people who I’ve known and loved, and have passed on from this life. I just make sure that I think of God and say thank you, regardless of what I’m going through. I don’t feel the need to announce it or let everyone know what I’m doing, or even go by a clock or strict schedule.”
“What about Christianity? How do you feel about it?”
“Again, I feel most religions have elements of beauty and I feel that Christianity is basically Judaism with Christ thrown in. Those are just my personal beliefs. There is nothing unique about Christianity. It’s a hodgepodge of older beliefs. The trinity, for instance, is an ancient Egyptian concept. Some scholars disagree but my research shows otherwise. If you look at the story of Horus and Osiris, there is more evidence of what I speak of. Christianity, Judaism and Islam have been used as an excuse to murder, cause mayhem and torture people. We get too hung up on this. We’re losing our lives over matters that none of us can prove to be one hundred percent true. No one here can prove God exists, but in case of believers, we just know it to be true. I know it to be true and I don’t waste my time trying to convince others of it. The God I believe in wouldn’t want me to hurt someone else for not believing the same way I do. My beliefs are based on love, not pain and hatred.”
“As the media let everyone know, Saint and I dated very briefly before we got married. However, in that time frame, I can honestly say I had more in-depth, profound, real, intense, loving and all around beautiful conversations in that short time span than I had with men I’d dated for years and years. He was an open book. I could ask him anything, as long as he could do the same with me. He was funny, he was loving, he was responsible. I felt safe with him, and that is what I needed. He knew I was scared. I was afraid of what others may say and think, and how they would treat me. My attraction towards him went beyond the physical. He is just a beautiful person all the way around, ladies. He and I talk about anything and everything. We are truly best friends. He is my…personal soldier.
“His heart is made of gold. He is a Warrior. He protects me, his family and anyone else that he cares about. He protects all of you, too, because he wants you to have the best that life has to offer. When you step out of your comfort zone, new opportunities arise. You have to take a gamble on yourself. It’s a risk worth taking.” Xenia briefly hung her head then looked back out at the audience.
“All relationships, even the real tight ones, go through challenges. I have some advice for you ladies. When your man has been good to you since day one, and something happens that makes you question him, give him the benefit of the doubt, no matter how bad it looks or seems. If he has not once caused you to believe that he was something other than what he said and exemplified, then don’t believe what other people tell you. If you are happy, people are going to come out of the woodwork to try and steal your joy. Once you are happy, ladies, truly happy with a wonderful guy, jealous people will come after you and try to destroy what you have. It is very sad, but it happens every day. That is something I was a bit naïve about, too. I didn’t understand that apart from the racism and the backlash from just being married to someone as dynamic and unique as Saint, I would also have to deal with people who didn’t want us to be together, simply because they wanted what we have and if they couldn’t have it, then, they didn’t want us to have it either.”
Saint crossed his legs. His fingers dug into his upper arms as the implication of her words hit him with full force. The memories of what they went through brought the anger, the torment back to the surface.
“I cannot recall one day, in the last six years that we’ve been married, where this man hasn’t bent over backwards to make sure that I and our children had everything we needed. Even when he was out of town for business, he’d make sure we were OK. I cannot recall one day when he may have said something that hurt my feelings and he didn’t sincerely apologize when I brought it to his attention. He loves me enough to put pride aside and that’s also something I needed in the man for me.
“He is an excellent father and adores his children. He spends time with them and is caring and loving towards them. Nobody is perfect. I’ve made my mistakes and according to Saint, he
hasn’t
made any.” Everyone started to laugh when Saint glared at her. “But if I had given into my fears, I would, quite honestly, probably be with someone that I was a lot less compatible with. I may or may not have children, which I desperately wanted, and I doubt I’d be nearly as happy as I am right now. You all were braver than I. You actually came to this conference in this huge auditorium, showing that you are at least willing to listen to what everyone has to say to you. You made a concerted effort to take your curiosity a step further. I wasn’t as courageous as you, so you’re starting out ahead of me already. Saint literally had to blackmail me for a date.” Xenia smiled at the audience’s reaction. Saint shook his head and blew her a kiss.
“He honestly did. I went on that date, certain I’d hate every minute of it. I thought he was an arrogant asshole and just terrible.” Hands on hips, Xenia waited for the laughter to subside. “Well, I found out two of the three I was wrong about. He is not an asshole and he’s not terrible.” Saint grinned. Xenia had won over the crowd and he never felt prouder.
“This man had somehow found out all of my favorite foods and brought them on an evening picnic date. He had flowers, a merry-go-round just for the two of us and fireworks.” Women ooohed and awwwed in the audience. “He went all out, and you can have that, too. You can have someone who wants to impress you but also keep that up, throughout the relationship. The same things he did to get you he should keep doing, and I can honestly say, that’s what I have.” Xenia smiled. “He’s my King. He’s my cover. He’s my lover. He’s my best friend, the father of my children and the one person I can rely on to see me through everything that life throws my way.” Xenia paused. She looked composed but Saint wasn’t fooled. He could tell by the glaze in her eyes that the emotion of her words brought her as close to tears as it did many in the audience. She was trying hard to stay cool and he wanted so much to get up there with her and take her in his arms, to tell her that everything was going to be alright.
But this was her time to shine. He wouldn’t take that away from her.
“He’s so good to me. He’s been real with me since day one. He let me see what he was, he told me what he was, and he is consistent. I love him so much, my heart just swells with it, and I want every single woman in here to feel as I do about someone, and have it returned to you tenfold.” Xenia looked over her shoulder at Saint. “I love you, baby,” she said, a trail of tears now freely streaking down her face.
It was time for him to comfort her. Her eyes said loud and clear that she needed him.
Saint stood up and slowly walked over to her. Everyone stood up and clapped as he wrapped his arms around her waist, looked down at her and kissed her passionately. This was met with whistling and cheering. Saint pulled away from her slowly, winked at her and pulled the microphone that Xenia was speaking into
from the podium holster. He cleared his throat.
“Well shit, let’s get this on and poppin’ then.”
Saint pretended like was unbuttoning his pants with his free hand. Xenia rolled her eyes at him and turned back towards the cheering audience with a huge grin.
“We’re going to our bedroom now, and none of you are invited,” Saint added causing the audience to erupt with laughter. He kissed her again on the forehead, patted her ass and returned to his seat after handing her back the microphone.
“Always the class clown,” Xenia laughed as she spoke into the microphone. “In conclusion ladies…” Xenia began.
“But you better act now!” Saint interrupted. “Because for $9.99, you can have your own Rainbeau, but wait! We’ll double your order – two for the price of one, not including shipping and handling, we’re not flying that mothafucka out for you.” Laughter erupted from the panel and the audience.
“I see my husband took his silly pills today,” Xenia laughed and shook her head.
“OK, I’ll stop,” Saint raised his hand and pulled back. “I’m being rude, ladies, don’t accept my behavior.”
Xenia
shook her head. “They can’t hear you, Saint. You’re not on the mic!” She extended a hand and offered the mic again. “Come on. I know you wanna get back up here so bad!” Saint stood up and walked back over to the podium.
“See ladies, he’s an attention hog!” she laughed. “He was just here talking non-stop and had all the attention and now he is chiming in on my time!” Xenia hit him playfully.
“Why is your ass back up here?” She raised an eyebrow in mock annoyance and put her hand on her hip. The comedy relief sketch worked wonders with the crowd. Saint grabbed the microphone while Xenia tried to push him aside.
“What I was saying is that it was rude for me to be back here joking and acting silly while she is trying to speak so I want to publically apologize to my Queen, my Empress, my Goddess and she will have no further interruption or interjections, or even intercourse, I mean, discourse from me…until later tonight.” Saint went back to his seat as the crowd guffawed.
“Nasty!” Xenia smirked as she turned back to the audience. Saint smiled and winked at her from his seat. “So ladies, in all seriousness, I couldn’t imagine being in a relationship that could make me happier. As you just saw first-hand, we’re very comfortable with one another; we are just like everyone else, only genuinely in love. He is everything I could ever want. If you expand your options, you’ll meet all sorts of men that you may have originally scratched off as an option, just because they are of a different race than you. You don’t have to settle for mediocre when you can have great. The key here is finding someone who is equally yoked and I’ve done just that. Don’t let fear of the unknown stop you from getting what you rightfully deserve.”
Everyone stood up and applauded as Xenia waved and walked away from the podium. She walked to the back of the stage and disappeared behind the curtain.
The way her ass shakes as she walks makes me wanna jump ‘er bones like I’d never seen that shit before! I love you, girl. I’d die for you, baby.
* * *
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The interview…
“This is Jazz, Radio Extraordinaire for the Adult Sunday Brunch Show here at KTWX 107.2. We’re back after that commercial break from our sponsors and are on the air with Dr. Saint Aknaten, author, controversial renowned speaker, husband, father, therapist and sexologist,” Jazz announced as she adjusted her headset.
“Dr. Aknaten, one of our emails regarding you was about religion and we do want to broach that topic. You’ve been seen wearing an assortment of deities in your jewelry choices and there is some confusion as to what God you serve.” Jazz smiled at Saint and cocked her head to the left.
“Jazz, I’m more spiritual than religious. I believe there is beauty in almost every religion on the planet. I also believe that religion is man-made, thus it is flawed. God isn’t flawed, so I choose to bypass religion and stick to my own home-grown brand of spirituality which encompasses mostly what I grew up around as well as my own beliefs that I’ve incorporated into that.”
“And what did you grow up around?” Jazz inquired.
“My mother was Buddhist and my father is Muslim. For instance, I believe in reincarnation. I don’t necessarily believe we come back as animals though, I think we all have an inner animal already so it is unnecessary but I do believe our soul drifts in and out of this world. I pray at least five times a day, as Muslims do; only I don’t set my prayer times by a clock. I also do salutations to people who I’ve known and loved, and have passed on from this life. I just make sure that I think of God and say thank you, regardless of what I’m going through. I don’t feel the need to announce it or let everyone know what I’m doing, or even go by a clock or strict schedule.”
“What about Christianity? How do you feel about it?”
“Again, I feel most religions have elements of beauty and I feel that Christianity is basically Judaism with Christ thrown in. Those are just my personal beliefs. There is nothing unique about Christianity. It’s a hodgepodge of older beliefs. The trinity, for instance, is an ancient Egyptian concept. Some scholars disagree but my research shows otherwise. If you look at the story of Horus and Osiris, there is more evidence of what I speak of. Christianity, Judaism and Islam have been used as an excuse to murder, cause mayhem and torture people. We get too hung up on this. We’re losing our lives over matters that none of us can prove to be one hundred percent true. No one here can prove God exists, but in case of believers, we just know it to be true. I know it to be true and I don’t waste my time trying to convince others of it. The God I believe in wouldn’t want me to hurt someone else for not believing the same way I do. My beliefs are based on love, not pain and hatred.”
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