When You Are Mine (2 page)

H
e was a mountain. Insurmountable. Stark against the backdrop of the glittering ballroom like peaks against a feather-clouded sky. His unwavering stare scrambled her thoughts.

Kerris knew she should be used to the stares by now. People could never label her ethnicity. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. She’d never know what genetic cocktail had been shaken or stirred to get this face that made people take a second look, trying to place her. She’d always struggled to find her place. Hard to do when you were practically born on a doorstep and passed around like an old library book everyone keeps returning.

She got the impression this man wasn’t used to waiting for people and things, but he didn’t seem impatient. If anything, he was completely still. He seemed to be waiting for her.

After the awards had been given out, Kerris tried to focus on several well-wishers offering congratulations. With her undignified sprint to the stage, she was just glad to have made it. Old ladies and kids. She could never say no.

Kerris managed to nod and smile at Jenni, the Walsh Foundation’s program coordinator, but she really just wanted to drag her weary bones home, wrap up in her thrift store kimono, and sip her Earl Grey.

“Excuse me, Jenni.” His voice was dark and rich and strong like a shot of espresso.

“We didn’t know you were coming tonight.” Jenni’s back straightened and her hand flitted to adjust an already-perfectly-straight collar.

“Surprise.” He smiled, and Jenni couldn’t seem to look away. Neither could Kerris. “I wanted to congratulate Miss Moreton personally. Would you excuse us?”

Jenni scurried off without a word. Had he been rude? Kerris couldn’t tell. She wondered if charm like that wrapped around such a steely will left people feeling they should thank him when he stepped on their feet.

He watched her with the focus of a jaguar considering a particularly scrumptious prey. That look should have frightened her, but it wasn’t fear unfurling inside. She didn’t know this feeling, but she was certain she had never felt it before.

“Congratulations.” He slid his hands into his pockets and cocked his head to one side, his casual stance belying the barely checked energy of a hunter. “I don’t know which was more impressive. The award, or your good deed earlier taking the old lady home.”

Kerris’s jaw nearly gave in to gravity and dropped.

“How did you…when did you…huh?”

Wow. Stellar articulation. She gave her mental processes a second to catch up. Let’s try this again.

“How did you know about the lady?”

“I was in the parking lot across from the hotel, running late for the awards ceremony, and overheard.”

The room narrowed to the width of his smile, and Kerris felt herself leaning toward him, on the verge of toppling.

“Most people wouldn’t have helped her out.”

“She was a sweetheart. It was nothing.”

One hand went to her throat. The other touched the silk orchid nested behind her ear. A succession of twitches she couldn’t control. Butterfly wings brushed the lining of her belly. She willed the triple time tempo of her heart to slow, but he inundated her senses, and they would not be soothed.

Kerris watched him catalog every detail about her, his eyes surveying each limb and curve. Her fingers plucked at her thrift shop dress, a scarlet tunic with gold embroidery edging the sleeves and collar, stopping just above her knees. Under his scrutiny, her toes curled in the scarlet leather mules. She shifted her weight from one tanned leg to the other. And then back again, like an uneven scale, grappling for balance.

She returned his inspection, noting the dark green eyes under thick, well-shaped brows. The sculpted blade of a nose. The high cheekbones jutting to create hollows above his jaw. His tanned skin stretched taut over the regal bones of his face. He wore jeans, a green polo shirt, and leather moccasins, but he carried an air of careless glamour only money could achieve. He was a slumming prince, and the strong male beauty of him snagged the breath in her throat. The rest of the room dissolved into a peripheral blur.

She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to speak, or if it was his turn. She wanted to speak, make small talk, but speech and sense had fled. She was naturally reticent. Slow to share much about herself. Some might even call her shy. But somehow she knew this man could trample her defenses and dismantle her like a ticking bomb.

“So you two finally met.” A familiar male voice a few feet away snapped the invisible thread tugging her closer by the second.

Kerris looked over her shoulder, coming back to herself and finally absorbing something beyond
him
. Cam walked up, making her smile. He made smiling an involuntary action, like blinking or sneezing. Something you just couldn’t hold back.

Cam slid an arm around her waist, leaning down to kiss her cheek. She forced herself to give him her full attention, willing Mr. Mountain to drift away.

“This is the guy I’ve been trying to get you to meet for the last year, but he’s been all over the globe saving orphans. This is my best friend in the world, Walsh Bennett.”

Oh. Freaking. No.

Kerris’s only consolation was that Walsh looked just as disconcerted before disciplining his features into a polite mask, as if that moment hadn’t happened. Maybe it had been her imagination. Feeling a wordless, mindless connection that strong with your boyfriend’s best friend would border on tragic.

“I was just congratulating Kerris on her award. My mom practically threatened to disown me if I didn’t.” Walsh split his glance between the two of them. “I had no idea Mom’s star scholar was the girl you’ve been raving about.”

Jo sidled up and slipped her arm through the crook of Walsh’s.

“I’m just glad someone made Cam work for it.”

“I finally found a girl worth working for.” Cam’s half-serious look rested on Kerris.

He placed a kiss on her unsuspecting lips, surprising her when his tongue made a quick foray into her mouth. She willed herself not to jerk away. Cam knew how difficult physical affection was for her in private, much less in a room full of people. Her discomfort deepened in front of
him
.

“I’m glad to finally have you both in the same state,” Cam said. “This summer’s gonna be great. The two people I love most in the world. Sorry, Jo. Make that three.”

“Whatever,” Jo said, her laugh good-natured. “Are we going to celebrate the scholar or what? The food at this reception looks delish.”

“Um, remember I kind of had a private celebration planned for Kerris and me.” Cam offered a sheepish grin, squeezing Kerris’s hand.

“What’d you have in mind?” Kerris found a smile she hoped passed for normal.

“You’ll have to wait and see.” Cam’s look asked Jo and Walsh to understand. “You guys don’t mind if we skip the reception, right? I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Walsh glanced at Kerris before looking back at Cam.

“Just some of us getting together at the river to kick off the summer,” Jo said. “Grill some food. Swim. You in, Walsh?”

“Sounds like fun. If you don’t mind me sleeping half the time. Jet lag’s kicking my ass.”

“Sleep as much as you want.” Jo leaned her head against Walsh’s shoulder. “We just want you around. We’ve missed you, man.”

“Yeah, great having you home. Can’t wait to catch up.” Cam turned to Kerris. “But right now, we’re gonna head on out. Ready, Ker?”

Kerris watched the interaction between the longtime friends. The feeling was finally returning to each body part Walsh had so closely inspected moments before.

“Oh, sure,” she said. Cam pulled her toward the door, but she glanced over her shoulder one last time. “Nice to finally meet you, Walsh.”

Before she turned away, Walsh’s eyes held hers for an extra beat of her heart. That same jolt struck right down the middle of her soul. The intensity of that stare left her insides crackling.

Walsh watched until the crowd swallowed Kerris’s scarlet silk. He felt like someone had shaken him from a coma, and he’d awakened disoriented in a world that was familiar, but changed in ways vast and indiscernible.

“Hellooooo.” Jo waved a hand in front of his face. “What were you looking at?”

“Nothing.” Walsh carefully hid his churning emotions beneath a protective layer of composure. The trick he’d learned over the years didn’t usually work on his sharp-eyed cousin, but it was worth a try.

“I can tell when you’re attracted to a girl, and the look you just gave Kerris was
way
beyond that. Forget it. She’s taken. By your best friend, I might add.”

“The girl’s beautiful.” Walsh did his best to look directly into the censure of Jo’s eyes. “Can’t blame a guy just for looking.”

“Keep it that way.” Skepticism twisted Jo’s mouth, lifting one side and not bothering with the other.

“You think Cam’s serious about this girl?” Walsh deliberately kept his voice casual and devoid of the rabid curiosity gnawing through his mind.

“Serious? That plan of his?” Jo paused as if giving Walsh time to prepare for what she’d say next. “Tonight he’s asking her to marry him.”

The word “marry” punched Walsh in the throat, the breath soughing through his nose. He had glimpsed a great prize behind the curtain, only to have it snatched away. A cruel sleight of hand. He reminded himself he had exchanged only a handful of words with the girl. His strong response to the possibility of Cam marrying her was because he didn’t know her, and only wanted the best for Cam. For Cam to be happy. That was the reason.

A shame he couldn’t convince himself.

C
am and Kerris pulled up the cobbled driveway leading to his lovely, stacked stone cottage. A wide front porch with a swing looked like a holdover from a time long gone.

“You’re so lucky to live here rent-free, Cam.” Kerris pulled off her seat belt and eyed the charming house she fell a little bit more in love with every time she visited.

“Yeah, Ms. Kristeene won’t take my money, which is fine with me since I don’t have much.” He angled a grin her way in the dim light of the car. “This cottage has been in their family for probably sixty years, but since they all live at the house closer to town, it works out.”

Kristeene would have done a lot more for Cam if he’d let her. Kerris admired his fierce pride and determination to make his own way. She followed him to the front door and through the house, and couldn’t help but be glad he’d at least accepted this beautiful cottage. He squeezed her hand and smiled over his shoulder every few seconds. Anticipation lit his eyes like it was Christmas morning.

A screened-in porch led to a well-manicured backyard. Small, sand-filled bags lit with votives marked a clear path on the ground, directing them toward the center of the backyard. Looking at the multicolored quilt spread across the grass, with lanterns at each edge to bathe it in warm light, another corner of Kerris’s heart softened.

“Cam, how’d you do all this? It’s beautiful.”

“Jo definitely got involved. The Walsh family cook made the food.” Cam smiled, shy and bold all at once. “I had help, but the idea for a candlelit picnic was all mine.”

“It’s absolutely perfect.” So few things had been perfect for Kerris, and these moments, this gesture, was one of them.

“Sit down.” He took her hand, settling her onto one of the overstuffed satin-covered cushions in the center of the quilt. “I’m glad you were fine skipping the reception. I knew this was waiting for us.”

“I’m glad, too.” Kerris lifted the silver domes covering the dishes to reveal roast chicken with vegetables, risotto, and snow peas. The aroma of freshly baked bread wafted from beneath linen napkins, luring her to dive into the feast.

They ate with only a few comments, laughter and the sounds of silverware scraping plates punctuating their companionable silence.

“I’m stuffed.”

Kerris lay back on the soft cushion supporting her and patted her tummy. Eyes heavy-lidded, she listened to the crickets’ chatter and the river’s rumbling just over the hill. The late-night lullaby could have easily lulled her to sleep if Cam hadn’t leaned down beside her, propped on one elbow. She peered up at him, smiling and wondering when he had become so dear. She traced the dark slant of his brows.

“Thank you.” Kerris barely had the energy to raise her voice over the rush of the river.

Cam pressed warm lips to her eyelids and the lashes feathering her cheeks. His kisses wandered from her eyes, across the tilt of her nose and the curve of one cheekbone, before settling over her mouth. He skimmed her lips once, twice, and again before she opened her mouth, brushing her tongue against his. She hoped for a measure of the fire she could sense building inside of him, but it never came.

She had stopped believing in the lightning strike of desire. She had assumed that if this beautiful man with his lean, muscled body and sensually curved lips couldn’t stoke a fire inside of her, no one could.

And she’d believed that. Until tonight.

Cam’s hand wandered across the curve of her breast and slid over her hip, down her thigh, and moved in for a more intimate touch.

“Cam.” Kerris placed her hand over his, halting his progress.

“Hmmmmm.” The vibration of his groan hummed through her like a revving engine. He lay his forehead against hers, obviously working to regain control. “You’re right. We need to talk.”

“Talk about what?” She sat up, pulling the neckline he had tugged aside back into place, tired from the mental paces tonight’s encounter with Walsh had put her through.

“Kerris.” Cam gulped with uncharacteristic nervousness before starting again. “Kerris, you know we both had really shitty childhoods.”

With a laugh as bitter as it was short, Kerris nodded. She wasn’t sure what was worse, her mother abandoning her on the orphanage steps or Cam’s mother actually thinking she could pull herself together long enough to raise him. Fortunately, or unfortunately, Cam’s mother had tried for the first twelve years of his life. He had only alluded to parts of it, keeping his deepest scars covered. Yet another thing they had in common.

“You know I love you.” He stroked one finger over the full bow of her mouth. “I’ve never had a family of my own. I mean, the Walshes took me under their wing, and Walsh is the closest thing I have to a brother, but I don’t belong to them. And they don’t belong to me.”

“People don’t
belong
to each other, Cam. People love each other.”

“No, baby, people
do
belong to each other.” The conviction on his face glowed brighter than the candlelight. “We just don’t know about it because we never had it. Don’t you want that? To belong to someone? And have him belong to you?”

His words, though softly spoken, echoed her deepest desire. She could think of only one person who had truly loved her, and Kerris had been taken away from Mama Jess’s foster home cruelly and abruptly. No one had looked at her with that much love in a long time, but it was there on Cam’s face now.

“Marry me.” The tremor in Cam’s voice made her more nervous than the words he’d spoken.

Kerris struggled to even her erratic breaths, but could not. Heat rushed to her cheeks under Cam’s probing, waiting stare. The blood thumped at her wrists and temples, reminding her that she was alive and not a statue-still shell frozen by his words.

“Cam, I just graduated, and it took me longer than most. Don’t you think we need a little time?” Kerris ran damp palms along the fabric stretched across her legs. “I’m only twenty-five. Maybe we should—”

“Not now. I know you’re not ready. I know we’ve only been dating six months, but I want you to think about it. And at the end of the summer, I’ll ask you again.” He tugged the orchid in her hair away and placed it in her lap, kissing behind her ear and slanting her a cocky grin. “And you’ll say yes.”

She raised her lashes, forcing herself not to look away from his hungry stare. He was so into her.

Please don’t let me hurt him.

She smiled through her confusion, thinking of the friend Cam had been to her. Thinking of how comfortable she always felt with him. How patient he’d been with her abstinence. Maybe the night that haunted her had bankrupted her heart and stripped her body of its capacity for physical desire. She had abandoned love-struck delusions of butterflies and goose bumps. Perhaps what she felt for Cam was all she was capable of. It felt good. It could be enough.

The situation with Walsh had been her imagination. Or a fluke. After all these years of isolation and numbness, that rush of desire, that sense of…rightness…couldn’t have been real. With a stranger? With Cam’s best friend?

“Did you hear me?” Cam’s eyes were fixed on the expression she had pulled into place to hide her thoughts. “I said you’ll say yes at the end of the summer.”

“Cam, I can’t make any promises.” Kerris toyed with a chunk of bread from the basket, tearing it into tiny pieces in her lap.

“Just promise me you’ll think about it.” Cam lifted her chin, gently compelling her to look at him.

She set her disturbing thoughts aside and laced her smile with all that she could promise.

“I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I can ask for.” He dropped a quick kiss on her lips, its sweetness a thin veneer covering the passion she knew he carefully checked. “That’s enough for now.”