When You Least Expect It (12 page)

When Lainey got to the back door, she hesitated. What if the
dog attacked her? Sure, they’d claimed he wasn’t vicious, but people always said that. When Lainey was a kid, a family who lived down the block had a pit bull they kept chained in their front yard. They insisted their dog was harmless, but every time Lainey passed by, walking to and from school, the dog would lunge against the fence, barking and snarling at her, foam spraying from his mouth. She’d once seen him catch a squirrel and eat it whole.

Lainey knocked instead. No one answered, and the dog didn’t come rushing in, so Lainey opened the door and walked in. There were signs of dinner preparations in the kitchen. Three raw steaks sat on the counter, lettuce leaves were resting in a colander in the sink, a pot of peeled potatoes bubbled on the stovetop, a pan of brownies sat cooling on the counter. Interestingly, the sight of the raw meat didn’t make Lainey feel like retching, as the chicken breasts Flaca had Shake ’n Baked the night before had.

It was all so homey, Lainey thought. Were they putting on a show for her benefit, or did they always eat like this? Was this what the kid had to look forward to, a life of steaks and home-baked brownies? Lainey felt another surge of resentment. Why didn’t she have this sort of life when she was growing up? Where would she be now if she had? Probably not knocked up by a steroid-addicted gym rat.

Otis suddenly came scrabbling into the kitchen, his leash still attached, and headed straight for Lainey. The dog jumped up on her, leaving two muddy paw prints on her shirt. Lainey let out a shriek of surprise.

“What’s wrong?” India asked as she rushed into the kitchen. “Otis! Get down! Oh, God, Lainey, are you okay?” She grabbed Otis’s leash and dragged him away. “Bad dog! Here, sit down, Lainey. Can I get you anything? A glass of water?”

“What’s wrong?” Jeremy asked, appearing in the doorway to the kitchen.

“The hellhound jumped up on Lainey.”

“I’m fine,” Lainey said as India handed the leash to Jeremy.

“He always gets excited at dinnertime,” Jeremy explained.

“Otis, you should know better,” India scolded. “You could have hurt the baby.”

The dog looked unrepentant. He sat down heavily and, licking his chops, stared fixedly at the steaks. India shook her head at him.

“Otis flunked out of obedience school. Seriously. The instructor asked us not to return. She said Otis was a bad influence on the other dogs,” Jeremy told Lainey.

Lainey nodded unsmilingly. At the realization that India’s concern was for the baby and not for her, Lainey felt something harden inside of her. No matter how nice or sympathetic India acted, Lainey reminded herself that she couldn’t get sucked into thinking it was for her benefit. Everyone had an angle. India was no different.

The doorbell rang, and Otis started barking and pulling on his leash.

“Who could that be?” India wondered out loud.

Everything—the house, the dog, the rich aroma of the baking brownies—suddenly made Lainey feel like she’d walked onto the set of a television sitcom. What now? A neighbor stopping by to deliver homemade cookies? Hearing voices at the door, Lainey trailed after India and Jeremy. In the front hall, they were greeting a couple. The woman was curvy and wore a mustard yellow sundress and very high red heels. A cloud of dark hair swirled down to her shoulders. The man was short—shorter than his wife in heels—and neat, with close-cropped thinning hair, a long, elegant nose, and expressive brown eyes. He was holding a bottle of wine.

“What are you guys doing here?” India was asking.

“Don’t tell me you forgot,” the dark-haired woman said, laughing.

“Forgot what?” India asked.

“Dinner tonight? You invited us over? Is any of this ringing a bell?”

India gasped and covered her mouth with her hands.

“She forgot us,” the woman said, sighing and turning to her husband. “We managed to get a babysitter for once—no small miracle, considering the reputation our children have among the local babysitter circuit—and she forgets all about us.” The woman then saw Lainey and smiled at her. “Hi, I’m Mimi.”

“Oh! I didn’t see you there, Lainey,” India said. She looked momentarily distracted. “Lainey, these are good friends of ours, Mimi and Leo Carrera. This is Lainey. She’s going to be staying with us for a while.”

India tripped over the explanation, almost, Lainey thought, as though she were embarrassed by Lainey’s presence.

“Hi,” Lainey said flatly.

“Staying with you?” Mimi turned to look at India for further explanation. India looked from Mimi to Lainey, clearly unsure of how to proceed.

“They’re adopting my baby,” Lainey announced. But this didn’t seem to clarify matters for Mimi and Leo. They gaped at her with twin expressions of incomprehension.

“You’re having a baby?” Mimi finally asked.

“I’m pregnant,” Lainey clarified. “They’re going to adopt it after it’s born.”

Mimi gasped, spun around, and pulled India into a hug. “You didn’t tell me you’d found a birth mother!”

“It all happened very quickly. Just today,” India said.

“No wonder you forgot about dinner!” Mimi turned to look at Lainey again. “And you’re staying here? For the duration of your pregnancy?”

Lainey wasn’t sure what Mimi meant. “Until I have the baby,” she said.

“Is that common? For the birth mother to live with the adoptive parents, I mean,” Mimi asked India.

Jeremy shook his head. “No. Highly unusual, in fact.”

“It’s a creative solution,” India said. “Lainey needed someplace to live, and we have the guesthouse.”

“I thought you work back there?” Leo asked Jeremy.

“Worked. Past tense,” Jeremy said.

“Ah,” Leo said. “Sore subject?”

“Of course not,” India interjected. “Anyway, why are we all standing at the door? Come in, have a drink.”

“Why don’t we go, and we’ll just do this another night,” Mimi offered. “You have enough on your plate at the moment without having to feed us.”

“Absolutely not,” India said. “I’ll just send Jeremy out for some extra steaks. We have more than enough of everything else. Besides, we should celebrate having Lainey here with us!”

Lainey had never been to a dinner party before. There had been some family barbecues over the years, where everyone drank too much and someone always ended up starting a fight.

Dinner that first night at the Halloways’ house couldn’t have been more different. They ate in the dining room, used cloth napkins, and wine was served with the meal. The wine actually caused a tense standoff, when Jeremy offered Lainey a glass and India sharply reminded him that Lainey couldn’t drink. Mimi chipped in that she’d indulged in the occasional glass of wine while pregnant, until Leo caught her eye and shook his head slightly. Lainey rolled her eyes.

“I don’t want any wine. I don’t drink,” Lainey announced.

“What, never?” Mimi asked. She leaned forward, intrigued.

“Never. It makes you bloat,” Lainey explained.

“Lainey’s planning to go into the entertainment industry,” India explained. “She’s saving up to move to Los Angeles.”

“Really? What are you going to do there?” Mimi asked.

“I’m going to star in a reality television show,” Lainey said.

Mimi looked impressed. “Wow! Which one?”

Lainey immediately regretted announcing her plans. She felt stupid now, having to admit, “I don’t know yet. I’m going to audition once I get there.”

Mimi studied her. “I could definitely see you on one of those shows,” she said, twirling her wineglass.

This was the first time anyone had ever said this to Lainey. “Really?”

“Absolutely. I bet you’re really photogenic. You have great features. Very well defined.”

“Thanks,” Lainey said. She suddenly realized that everyone was looking at her. She stared down at her plate, feeling like she couldn’t catch her breath.

Her dining companions seemed to sense her discomfort. Mimi spooned a dollop of mashed potatoes on her plate and said, “We went to the movies last weekend.”

“What did you see?” Jeremy asked, obviously eager to change the subject.

“Some weird French film. It was called
La Dame en Bleu.”

“You didn’t like it?” India asked.

“No, it was terrible. It had subtitles, and, as you know, I have a very strict rule against subtitles,” Mimi said, waving her fork in emphasis. “I don’t go to the movies to read.”

“Philistine,” Leo said, smiling at his wife. “I liked it better than Mimi. It was French, so of course it ended in madness and death.”

“This is one of those areas where Leo and I will never agree. He likes depressing films. I prefer my movies to have happy endings,” Mimi said.

“Mimi likes car chases and explosions,” Leo added.

Mimi nodded enthusiastically. “That’s right. And lots of sex, too.”

“I like anything from the eighties. That was the golden era of Hollywood moviemaking,” India said.

“What are you talking about? Isn’t that when
Porky’s
came out?” Leo asked, laughing at her.

“Okay, that was a terrible movie,” India admitted. “I was thinking more along the lines of
Heathers
and
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.”

“Oh, I love
Ferris!”
Mimi agreed. “The eighties are also when all of those great Tom Cruise movies came out:
All the Right Moves, Risky Business, Top Gun.”

“I’m going to have to stop you there,” Jeremy cut in. “Top Gun? Terrible movie.”

“And totally gay,” Leo said.

“Gay? How is
Top Gun
gay?” Mimi demanded. “It had that yummy scene between Tom Cruise and what’s-her-name.”

“Kelly McGillis,” India said.

Mimi pointed at her. “Yes! Thank you.”

“Totally gay,” Leo said. “Right, Jeremy?”

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to side with your husband on this one,” Jeremy said.

“Are you serious?” Mimi exclaimed.

“The locker room scene with Maverick and Iceman,” Leo said. “You could tell they were about thirty seconds away from dropping their towels,” Leo said. “And Kelly McGillis was a virtual man.”

“Actually, I read a theory somewhere,” Jeremy began.

“Somewhere?” India repeated.

“Fine. I read it on the Internet,” Jeremy admitted. “But that doesn’t mean it’s not true. Anyway, this—” he cleared his throat, “
—source
theorized that
Top Gun
is actually an allegory about Maverick choosing between a heterosexual path, symbolized by Kelly McGillis’s character, and a homosexual life, symbolized by Iceman and Goose.”

“You are totally ruining this movie for me,” Mimi complained.

Jeremy and Leo sniggered, but India continued with her thesis. “Anyway, the eighties was the era of John Hughes.
Weird Science. Uncle Buck
. And, most importantly of all, the Molly Trilogy.”

Lainey had no idea what any of them were talking about. At least she’d heard of Tom Cruise and
Top Gun
, although she’d never seen the movie. But who was John Hughes? And what was the Molly Trilogy? Not that she was about to ask. Instead, she forked another piece of steak in her mouth, even though her appetite had vanished, replaced by another wave of nausea.

“The Molly Trilogy!” Mimi repeated in rapturous tones. “Those were the best movies.”

“Chick flicks,” Jeremy said.

“Trilogy?” Leo frowned.
“Sixteen Candles, Pretty in Pink
 … what was the third?”

“Isn’t she … pretty in pink,”
Jeremy sang, while pouring himself another glass of wine.

Lainey glanced sideways and caught India studying her. India smiled encouragingly. Lainey stared back down at her plate. The steak was oozing bloody red juices onto the plate. Her stomach lurched unpleasantly.

“The
Breakfast Club
, of course,” Mimi said.

“The
Breakfast Club,”
Leo repeated. His thick eyebrows drew down. “But that wasn’t really a Molly Ringwald movie. It was more of an ensemble cast.”

“She was one of the leads,” Mimi said.

“The greatest movie of the eighties is not in dispute,” Jeremy announced.

“He’s going to say
This Is Spinal Tap,”
India muttered to Mimi, who rolled her eyes.

“This Is Spinal Tap,”
Jeremy said, raising his wineglass in a toast to the table.

“See?” India said.

“Boy movie,” Mimi said. “If a girl movie is a chick flick, what do they call boy movies? Dick flicks?”

“My high school boyfriend made me watch
Spinal Tap
fifteen times,” India said.

“One time is too many,” Mimi said. She smiled at Lainey. “Don’t you agree, Lainey? Boy movie, right?”

“I never heard of it,” Lainey said.

Her four dining companions stared at her.

“Are you serious?” Leo asked.

India quickly came to Lainey’s defense. “It was way before her time.”

“If you’re going to live here, we’re going to have to remedy this deficiency in your education immediately,” Jeremy said.

“The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the
—” Leo began singing. He stopped abruptly. “Ow! Did you just kick me?” he asked Mimi, affronted.

Mimi raised her eyebrows and tilted her head toward Lainey. “Considering we’ve just met Lainey, I think now is not the time to sing pornographic lyrics in front of her, honey.”

“Oh. Sorry,” Leo said to Lainey.

Lainey nodded and shrugged. She still had no idea what they were talking about. And the pressure of trying to keep up, to make some sense out of the conversation, was exhausting.

“Not that my wife will believe this—she thinks that I like only foreign movies with subtitles,” Leo began.

“Depressing foreign movies,” Mimi interrupted. “Particularly ones that are meant to be deeply profound, but really just don’t make any sense at all. They’re cinematic versions of those modern paintings that are just a blank canvas with a black dot in the middle and everyone thinks that this somehow makes them deep.”

Leo continued, ignoring her. “But I’ve always been partial to Bill Murray’s earlier work:
Meatballs, Stripes, Caddyshack.”

India and Mimi both groaned and began to argue with the men. But Lainey couldn’t take it anymore. She stood abruptly. All conversation came to a sudden halt as the Halloways and Carreras stared up at her.