Where the Memories Lie (25 page)

disease progressed, hence the DNR order he’d insisted on. So had

he been so confused and agitated up there on those cliffs that he

didn’t know what he was really doing? Or was he lucid in those

final moments, not wanting to carry on any longer? Had he just

made a snap decision to end it all before life became too much?

Or had he killed himself because of what he’d done to Katie? After

he’d confessed and the truth had begun slowly coming out, had it

been too hard for him to bear anymore? On some level did he fully

remember what he’d done and felt so guilty that this was how he’d

dealt with it?

The phone rang as I was wiping the worktop, questions run-

ning over and over in my head. It was Nadia.

‘How are you?’ I asked.

‘Not great. You?’

‘Probably better than Ethan. He’s devastated. But you know

what he’s like. He doesn’t like to talk and keeps things bottled up 185

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inside. I don’t think it’s healthy, but he’s not going to change now, is he?’

‘No, I suppose not. I’ve been trying to get him on his mobile

but he’s not answering. Is he there?’

‘He’s gone for a walk. He probably doesn’t want to be disturbed.

How’s Charlotte handling it?’

‘She feels guilty that she hadn’t seen Dad for a while because

she was busy with her exams, and in her spare time she wanted to

see her friends. You know what teenagers are like,’ she said bitterly.

‘One minute they love you and the next they’re screaming how

much they hate you.’

‘Anna hadn’t visited Tom that often in the last few months,

either. He didn’t know who she was most of the time, which was

upsetting for her, plus when he got agitated and angry, he scared

her. I was torn between wanting her to see him because I knew he

wouldn’t be around much longer and not wanting her last memories

of him to be bad ones. But now, of course, she’s angry at me, saying that I didn’t let her go and see him before he died.’

‘Charlotte’s acting the same. God, sometimes being a parent is

the hardest job in the world.’

‘I know. I never know if I’m doing the right thing. And now it’s

too late to worry about whether that was the right thing for them

or not, I suppose.’

‘Yes.’ She sighed. ‘Can you tell Ethan when you see him that

I’ve rearranged his meetings for the next few days so he doesn’t have to go anywhere? I’ve organised the York project to be overseen by

Kevin until early next week so he won’t have to rush back up there.’

‘I will, thanks, Nadia. I don’t know what we’d do without you.’

‘I’m just glad to help. Anyway, it keeps me busy. I don’t want

to think about it.’

‘You sound like Ethan. You have to let yourself grieve, though.

Repressing it will only manifest in other problems later on.’

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‘Spoken like a true member of the healing profession,’ she said

with an edge to her voice.

‘OK, I’m sorry.’

‘No, I’m sorry. I know you’re only trying to help. This is just so

difficult.’

‘Have you spoken to Chris yet this morning?’

‘Yes, I just rang him to say I’ve organised another guy to stand

in as project manager on the Weymouth supermarket he’s working

on. He was in a bad way with a hangover.’

‘I’m not surprised, the amount he polished off last night. Still,

we all grieve in different ways.’ I heard Anna’s bedroom door open

and the sound of her light steps on the stairs. ‘I’ve got to go – Anna’s up. Speak soon, OK?’ I hung up as Anna walked into the room.

Instead of her graceful posture, her shoulders were rounded, her feet dragging on the floor.

‘Hi.’ She said glumly, sinking onto the stool next to me at the island.

Her eyes were puffy and red, her nose blocked, making her

sound like she had a cold.

I slung my arm around her shoulder. ‘What would you like for

breakfast? There’s Rice Krispies or toast. I need to go shopping.’

‘No change there, then.’ The corners of her lips lifted in a

cheeky smile, and I thought maybe Anna really was more resilient

than I gave her credit for. But how would she react to finding out

there’d been a body under the garage all this time?

I banished the thought from my mind and stood up. ‘Do you

want to walk Poppy with me? It’s a beautiful day; we could head

through the woods to Abbotsbury if you like.’

‘Is Dad coming with us?’

‘No, he needs some time to clear his head.’

‘I don’t feel like going out anywhere. I’ll just watch TV.’

Normally, I’d have a moan about her being inside holed up

in front of the flat screen all day in the summer holidays when

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it was such fabulous weather outside, but I was treating her with

kid gloves.

‘Well, I’m not going to work today so you don’t have to go over

to Nadia’s.’

Since Nadia worked from home doing the accounts and office

admin, Anna had always spent the holidays at hers when I was at

the surgery. It worked out great for both of us since it also kept

Charlotte occupied.

‘I’m old enough to be left on my own now, anyway. I’m going

to be thirteen soon.’

‘Mmm, so you keep reminding me.’ I swatted her backside.

She poured out some Rice Krispies, leaving a trail of them

on the worktop which she stuck to her finger and popped in her

mouth. With great concentration she poured out some milk over

the top. They fizzed and crackled as she brought the bowl

over to the table.

‘When is the funeral going to be?’ she asked sadly.

‘I don’t know. The coroner has to release the body first. There

will be an inquest but that probably won’t take place for ages.’

‘What, do we have to wait until the inquest before we can bury

him, then?’

‘No. As soon as they let us know, we can organise things. He

wanted to be cremated.’

‘I want to be cremated,’ she said morbidly.

‘Oh. Why?’

‘Because I don’t like the thought of being eaten by bugs.’

A picture of Katie in the ground underneath the concrete

flashed in my head, her hollow eye sockets writhing with beetles

and worms and larvae. I shook it away.

‘Yes, well, you won’t have to think about that for a long time yet.’

‘How do you know? I could get hit by a bus tomorrow. I could

fall off a cliff, just like Granddad.’ She stopped eating and stared at 188

Where the Memories Lie

her bowl, blinking to stop the tears. ‘Or you could. Or Dad. What

if something happens to you both?’

‘Sweetheart, nothing’s going to happen.’ I reached out and

squeezed her forearm.

‘You can’t say that, though, can you? You don’t know what’s

going to happen. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to Granddad!’ She slid the stool back with a scraping sound that made Poppy cower,

leaped up and ran out of the room.

And that was how the next few days in the Tate family went.

Anna was up and down; Ethan was pretty much silent and didn’t

want to talk; Nadia was efficient, organising everything and

bringing round casseroles and pasta bakes she’d made for us. Lucas

was somewhere in America on a flight he couldn’t find cover for,

probably shagging his bit on the side, and Chris was drunk.

Our once-happy family was unravelling.

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Chapter Twenty-One

I was walking home from work three days later past Chris’s

house when I spotted DI Spencer and DS Khan about to

get into their car, which was parked outside. From the path,

I glanced up at Chris’s open door and saw him leaning against the

frame watching me. He was in paint-splattered jeans, work boots

and a black T-shirt. His face was pale and drawn, his eyes sunken, as if sensitive to the sunlight.

‘Is there any news on the . . . um . . . body? I mean, skeleton,’

I asked DI Spencer. ‘It was Katie, wasn’t it?’

He gave me a pensive look before he said, ‘We checked the

dental records, which confirmed the remains were from Katie

Quinn.’

‘Oh, God.’ I blinked as his words slammed into me, my hands

flying to my cheeks. An overwhelming heaviness made my limbs

feel like lead. ‘Don’t you have to do a DNA test?’

‘There were viable bone cells and teeth pulp collected from her

remains, but a DNA test would’ve been tricky. Rose doesn’t have

anything left of Katie’s to compare it with, such as a hairbrush with strands of hair. And Jack is no longer alive. To be sure it really was Katie, we’d need a sample from both parents for a true analysis.’

Where the Memories Lie

He glanced briefly at DS Khan. ‘Actually, we were going to come

and speak to you later. Are you free now?’ he asked.

I thought of Anna at home, parked in front of the TV, and

Ethan off God knows where walking for miles again. He’d barely

been in the house since Tom’s death and finding Katie. I didn’t want to hear what the police had to say. Not yet. I wanted to bury my

head in the sand and forget. Switch the clocks back a few days to

before Tom chose to spill his ghastly secret to me. Go back in time and protect my childhood friend. But I didn’t think I’d have much

of a choice in the matter. There was no way back now.

‘Um . . . yes. But we haven’t said anything about this to Anna

yet so I don’t want to talk at home. Can we go somewhere else?’

‘Of course. Let’s go for a drive.’

DS Khan parked in the car park overlooking Chesil Beach, and

they both spun around in their seats to look at me. I felt nervous

and cramped in the small space, like a prisoner trapped in a cell.

‘I’ll get us a coffee, shall I?’ DS Khan nodded her head towards

a van parked in the corner, selling ice creams and hot dogs. ‘What

would you like?’ she asked me.

‘What?’ I said, trying to concentrate while my mind was reeling.

‘Do you want a tea instead?’

‘Oh, um, coffee’s fine, thanks.’

‘Back in a minute.’ Her lips pursed into a flat, serious line.

‘How did she die? Could you tell from . . . from what was . . .’

I trailed off.

‘She had a fractured skull.’

‘Oh.’

‘You mentioned before that Katie had said something you thought

was odd before she left home. Can you tell me again what it was?’

‘Um, yes. She said “If he thinks I’m going to fuck him again, he

can fuck off”, and then she said, “I’ve got something he wants and

I’m going to make him pay”.’

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‘You’re positive about that? After all this time?’

‘Yes.’

‘Did Katie ever mention to you sleeping with Chris after he

broke off their relationship?’

‘No.’

‘Did Chris?’

‘No. In fact, he told me the other day that he definitely hadn’t.’

‘Did Katie ever mention sleeping with Tom?’

‘No.’

He was silent for a while before adding, ‘Katie was pregnant

when she died. About six months.’

I sat back, stunned, as if he’d slapped me. ‘Well, I wasn’t expect-

ing that.’ I thought about Anna and all the miscarriages I’d had.

How badly I’d wanted a child of my own. Katie had been about to

become a mother, too. Why hadn’t she said anything? Then it hit

me. The baggy tops she’d been wearing, the toned-down look. She

wasn’t trying to reinvent herself as someone dowdy and frumpy at

all after her break-up with Chris; it wasn’t a sign of depression. She’d been trying to hide her pregnancy.

DS Khan returned with two cardboard cups and a bottle of

water. She handed me the coffee and I took it vacantly.

‘Is that was she was talking about, then, when she said she had

something he wanted?’ I said. ‘She was going to make him pay

for the baby? She hadn’t really stolen something – she was talking

about the baby?’

‘It’s likely.’ DS Khan unscrewed her bottle of water and took

a sip.

‘Six months? Wow. But Chris can’t have kids, anyway. It’s why

his wife left him. They were trying for ages, but . . . well, his sperm count is too low.’

‘That could’ve changed over the years. We still need to be sure.

To rule him out as the father we’ll be running DNA tests on a

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sample he provided earlier, along with a sample recovered from

Tom’s body.’

‘Right.’

‘Chris was apparently the last person to see her alive.’ DI

Spencer took a sip of his coffee and watched me carefully. ‘If the

baby is his, that could point our investigation in a new direction.’

A sudden chill sliced deep inside of me. ‘You think Chris could

have killed her?’

They didn’t answer.

‘But if that was the case, why did Tom confess? He knew where

she was buried – he told me!’

‘He also told you he was protecting his family. It’s possible that

meant he was covering up for somebody. We need to explore all

possibilities at the moment. We can’t trust Tom’s confession because of the Alzheimer’s. We’ve checked his medical records and, as you

know, he suffered from a considerable amount of confusion in the

end. We need to follow certain procedures. Dot all the i’s and cross all the t’s.’ DI Spencer shifted in his seat.

‘But what about Jack? If he was abusing Katie, could the baby

be his?’