Where the Rain Gets In (28 page)

“Not so many, really,” she said. “Go on,
what’s your number?”

She wrote it down, and put the pen and
book away in her bag. It was time for her to leave.

“I’m going to take a cab to the
airport,” she said.

“I don’t mind running you there,” said
Mike, but they both knew he should go back in to Katherine.

“I’ll need some of your quaint English
money, though,” said Katherine.

Mike took out his wallet and handed
Katie a tenner.

Four nurses walked past, talking loudly,
about to start their shift on the wards. Katie watched Mike watch them go by.
The entrance hall was busy with friends and families visiting for the hour
between seven and eight – lots of questions were being asked at reception and
directions given. Katie looked at the faces – some were tired, some were
worried, and some were relieved. Some, Katie could see, were overjoyed; people
did get well here – that was the point of a hospital, right?

“What am I going to do?” asked Mike.

“Go back in to your daughter,” said
Katie. “And trust that your love pulls her through.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

“That’s not trusting, Mike; you have to
believe it will. I think . . . ”

Katie hesitated before coming out with
any inane platitudes.

“She’s very sick, Mike,” she said, “and
I’m not sure there’s much you can do if Katherine doesn’t want to get better. I
wish I could have come here and waved my magic wand, but I think you knew that
wouldn’t happen. If the doctors can’t help her, I don’t see how I can. But I’m
glad you brought me over.”

“I just feel so fucking useless,” said
Mike.

“I know, I know,” said Katie, “but you
do have the one thing that can help Katherine – you love your daughter. So go
back in there and stay with her, and don’t leave her until she’s better; it’s
all you can do.”

Mike looked up and across to the exit
door of the hospital, not really seeing much through his tears.

“I don’t want to lose contact with you
again,” he said. “I miss you; I miss having you around.”

Katie didn’t reply immediately.

“I don’t know, Mike,” she said. “This is
difficult for me. Let me think about it, but I promise you – I’ll call. It’s
just that – ”

“You can’t promise anything else for
now?”

“That’s about how it is,” said Katie.

She stood to go.

“You’re always leaving me,” said Mike.

“I know,” said Katie. “It’s what I do.”

She reached down and touched the side of
Mike’s face.

“Don’t give up hope,” said Katie.
“You’re all she has, and she’s going to need you.”

She turned, and walked away towards the
exit. Somebody called out to her across the floor.

“Katie.”

She looked up and saw Eugene; she
recognised him immediately.

“Eugene,” she said.

He blushed. He wasn’t alone, but he left
the woman he was with and walked over to where Katie waited by the door.

“I wondered why Mike wanted to see you
again,” he said.

“Is that who I think it is?” asked
Katie.

Eugene looked back to where Margaret
waited in the middle of the entrance hall.

“Yes,” he said.

“She’s tiny,” said Katie.

“She’s tiny, but tough – I hope,” said
Eugene. “Does this mean Mike’s in the hospital?”

Did Mike’s presence make this visit
easier for Eugene, or harder? Katie didn’t know.

“He’s over there,” she said.

Mike had seen the three of them across
the hallway, and was about to come over. It was time for Katie to leave.

“Eugene,” called Margaret.

Katie could see that Margaret was in
some distress.

“Can you wait for me?” Eugene asked
Katie.

“I have a plane to catch,” she said.

“I could drive you to the airport,” he
suggested.

“I don’t think so,” said Katie.

“Eugene,” called Margaret again.

It wasn’t fair to leave Eugene to cope
alone, but there was enough going on without Katie coming face to face with
Margaret – it might undo everything.

“I have Mike’s number,” she said to
Eugene. “I’ll be in touch.”

“Will you?” he asked.

“Yes,” said Katie. “Yes.”

She walked away. She knew she was being
rude, but it was the right thing to do.

Outside, Katie saw the last cab pull
away from the rank. She guessed there’d be another one on the way. She walked
over to the rank, and waited.

“Come on,” she said, “come on.”

She had to get away from here. She
watched as a cab arrived at the entrance to the hospital and dropped off a
passenger – a woman, alone. The cab doubled back and drove up to where Katie
waited.

“The airport, please,” she said, and the
cab pulled away.

K
atie enjoyed travelling alone, and the
journey home to Dublin was easy. The short trip to Manchester – from the
airport to Wythenshawe Hospital, and back again to the airport – meant
something to Katie. It was her first time in Manchester for over twenty years.
Nothing much had changed – newer roads, maybe, but that was all. It was a place
like any other, and Katie’s world hadn’t stopped. She felt strong enough to
maybe arrange a longer visit next time; to face up to whatever memories the
city might hold for her.

It might be nice to try again – to be
amongst friends like Eugene, and Mike maybe, if that was possible. Despite
herself, Katie had friends – Carmel at work, for example – and she didn’t have
to be as alone as she’d chosen to be.

Katie hoped she might get to know
Katherine one day – it was unlikely, even if Katherine were to get well, but
not impossible. Whatever chance Katherine had of recovering was with her
parents’ help, and it looked as though Eugene was working to make that happen.

Pleasant thoughts like these made the
journey pass quickly for Katie; it was one of the joys of travelling on her
own. Perhaps the time was right to start planning a more serious journey; to
rediscover the travel bug she’d lost over the past few years? Katie needed to
loosen up a little; she was in danger of becoming stale if she didn’t.

Nothing much had changed in Dublin
either – there was still no rail link from the airport to the city. Rather than
take the Aircoach, Katie took a cab to Killester station, and caught the DART
home to Monkstown. The track curved around the bay, with the dark of the sea on
one side and the lights of the city on the other. It could have been beautiful,
but it wasn’t. Katie sat in the bright carriage and thought about Dublin. It
was obviously time for her to move on – start again some place else – but where
could she go, and what could she do? Financially, anything was possible; but
Katie wanted a life, a proper life, and not just this pretence of living.

She knew that no amount of yoga was ever
going to rid her mind of Bruno. And no matter what she did to herself, she’d
never cut away what had happened to her as a child. She’d always be the same
Katie McGuire – there were some things she couldn’t change – but that wasn’t so
bad, was it?

The train arrived at Monkstown. Katie
walked up from the station to her home; she’d call Mike in the morning.