Whisper of Scandal (24 page)

The bridal feasting became wilder. Joanna saw Lottie slope off outside with a particularly well-set-up young Pomor hunter and wondered what Dev would think of that, but he was surrounded by three beautiful Pomor girls and did not even appear to notice. Later still, Alex took her back to their hut and made love to her again. Afterward Joanna lay awake and looked at the soft midnight light. Alex’s hand was resting lightly on her stomach as he slept and it felt like a gesture of possession. He would be asking soon when she would know if she was enceinte. Suddenly the pain ripped
through her as viciously as it had done in the past and she knew she was grieving not only for the deceit that lay between them but also for the bitter truth that she would never be able to give Alex a child when it was becoming something she longed for very deeply.

J
OANNA WOKE WRAPPED
in Alex’s arms. She felt cramped and stiff. The magic of the night before had gone and the morning was damp and gray and her heart felt cold and sad, too. Today it was not so easy to keep the world at bay. Today they would go to Bellsund to find Nina and she was afraid. And remembering Alex’s tenderness of the night before, she felt a fraud as well—a deceiver, the wife who had betrayed him. She despised herself.

She felt the sting of tears in her throat and eased herself from Alex’s embrace. He made a soft sound of protest, but he did not wake, and after a moment she slipped from the hut and went out into the morning air. Max, yawning, jumped from his basket and followed her outside. She walked down to the inlet to wash her face and hands. The water was so cold and crisp that it stole her breath. She wondered what on earth it must be like to run from the intense heat of the bathhouse and plunge into the icy waters of the fjord. Surely only the most mad and hardy could survive that. But then, she had thought herself a delicate lady, yet had done things on this trip that would send the matrons of the ton run screeching for their smelling salts.

There was a crunch of shingle on the beach before her and she looked up from the stream and her heart
almost froze in her chest. She had forgotten Alex’s strictures about safety, forgotten that in this land there was more than one way to meet a swift death. For there it was, not the pure white that she had always imagined but a sort of rich cream color, gleaming in the morning sun. The bear sniffed the air, turned its head and looked directly at her.

It was beautiful. It was also enormous and terrifying—but somehow quite enchanting in its power and strength and grace.

Joanna’s heart stuttered in her chest and then began to race. She straightened up and stood still, watching it come. It moved slowly, deliberately, without taking its gaze from her. She felt transfixed, her legs as weak as water, fascinated, terrified. She knew that she should move, run for cover and raise the alarm in the village, but her legs did not seem to want to obey her. She opened her mouth and no sound came except a dry gasp as her breath caught in her throat.

There was a noise behind her, the rattle of stones on the scree slope and she turned her head. Alex was standing above her on the hillside and he had a rifle in his hands. His face was white and his eyes burned dark. Max was with him, running in circles, barking and barking, the sound bouncing off the high walls of the mountains and echoing back.

And still the bear came on.

Alex did not move. The bear was a mere two hundred feet away now. It looked enormous. It raised its head and seemed to dance for a moment on the balls of its feet like a boxer.

Terror swept through Joanna in a hot tide. She tried to scramble away, up the slope, slipping and sliding as
the stones ran beneath her boots. The bear was so close now that she could almost feel its breath on her face. She was shaking so hard that she felt faint and sick.

Alex was not going to help her.

A scream trapped in her throat. Her mind tumbled with despair. And then Alex raised the rifle and fired over the bear’s head.

The smack of the shot echoed around the mountain like the roar of a cannon. The bear stopped and stared at Joanna for what seemed like forever and then it turned and ambled slowly away.

Joanna lay still for a moment, shaking, her hair in her eyes, her pulse drumming in her ears so loudly that for a moment it was all she could hear. She rolled over, sat up and looked at Alex. He was stark white. He put the rifle down and she could see he was shaking.

“I couldn’t kill it,” Alex said. His voice sounded strange, remote. “I should have shot it down much sooner.”

Joanna looked at him, arrested by the note in his voice. “Alex—” she said uncertainly. Reaction was setting in now, making her shiver and shiver with shock. She wanted to rail at him for risking her life, but she could not find her voice. She wanted to shake him for leaving it so late; she wanted to cry. Yet there was something in Alex’s stillness and the stunned way in which he stood staring in the direction that the bear had gone that held her quiet.

“I failed,” Alex said quietly. His gaze came back and focused on her hard and fast. “I failed again.” He dropped to his knees beside her and grabbed her shoulders, his fingers biting into her flesh. Joanna gave a gasp.

“You should never have come,” Alex said. “I knew you should never have come. I could not protect you properly when it mattered.” He released her abruptly, stood up and walked away.

“Where are you going?” Joanna demanded. But he did not answer. He did not even turn.

The others, alerted by Max’s barking and the sound of the shot, were coming out to meet her now, Dev running faster than Joanna had ever seen a man move, Owen Purchase with a rifle, Lottie grabbing her cloak about her. Behind them the villagers crowded from their huts.

Joanna scrambled stiffly to her feet and started to brush the dirt from her skirts with hands that shook.

“Jo!” Lottie’s voice had lost all its usual assurance. She grabbed Joanna’s hands. “We heard the shot. What happened?”

“I came out on my own,” Joanna said. “So stupid, when we were told to be careful. I forgot…” She gave a convulsive shudder. “There was a bear, Lottie. It…it was so beautiful. Alex said he couldn’t kill it and truly I would not have wished him to, but I was so terrified—” Her voice broke.

Dev, who was bending to pick up the rifle, gave her a sharp look. “Alex did not shoot it?”

“He fired over its head,” Joanna said. She shuddered again and Lottie put an arm about her, steering her back toward the hut.

“Where’s Grant now?” Purchase demanded. There was a white line about his mouth and a hard look in his eyes.

“He’s gone.” Joanna’s teeth were chattering so
much she could barely form the words. “I don’t know where—”

“Don’t say any more,” Lottie scolded. “Not until we get you inside.”

They wrapped her in blankets and gave her brandy to drink even though Joanna protested that she would rather have something hot. Lottie knelt before her, rubbing her cold hands. Owen Purchase had a poker face on, as though he should have been there to protect her, as though he wanted to kill Alex for failing in his duty.

“Nobody died,” Joanna pointed out as she swallowed the spirit and felt it make its fiery way down her throat and curl into her stomach.

“I don’t understand,” Lottie said. She still looked shocked, as real as Joanna had ever seen her, all her shallow pretense stripped away. “Why didn’t Alex fire sooner? Why didn’t he kill it?”

“I don’t know,” Joanna said. She shivered inside the rough blankets, feeling the scratch of them against her skin. “I don’t know,” she said again. “He said he had failed me in some way and then—” she made a slight gesture “—he just walked away.”

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Dev and Purchase exchange a glance. She looked up, wanting to defend Alex from their censure. For all her anger with him earlier, she could not bear for them to blame him.

“I didn’t want him to kill it,” she said defiantly. “It was too beautiful to kill.”

“And it would have made a terrible mess,” Lottie said, recovering some of her sangfroid.

“But a good meal,” Dev said regretfully.

Joanna edged toward the fire, trying to get warm.
“Alex said that he had failed, Dev,” she repeated. “What did he mean by that?”

She saw the two men exchange another look. “I don’t know,” Dev said slowly.

“Yes, you do,” Owen Purchase said. He sounded grim. “We both know, Devlin. He meant that Amelia died because of him, and now—” he made a gesture that was full of repressed anger “—he fails to protect Joanna properly, too.”

Dev’s mouth set in an ugly line. “Amelia’s death wasn’t Alex’s fault in any way,” he said. “He was badly injured trying to save her. Her loss almost destroyed him—”

“Well, he almost lost a second wife just now,” Owen said contemptuously. “He took an appalling risk. He should have shot it at two hundred yards.”

Dev’s hands balled into fists. “Don’t you dare accuse Alex of cowardice and failure, Purchase—”

“Gentlemen.” Joanna scrambled up and placed herself between them. The atmosphere was as taut and ugly as at a dogfight. “This isn’t the time or the place for a mill,” she said. “We need to find Alex.” She looked appealingly at Dev. “Do you know where he will be, Devlin?”

“He will probably have gone to Wijde Bay,” Dev murmured, turning away, his shoulders slumping. “There’s a place there he once told me about. It’s called the Villa Raven. It’s not far.”

“A villa!” Lottie had brightened immeasurably, like the sun coming out. “Why did no one tell me there was a villa here? How marvelous! Let us all go!”

“Mrs. Cummings,” Purchase said dryly, “this isn’t like the villas on the Thames in London. The Villa
Raven is no better than this hut, indeed probably far worse. It is in the most beautiful setting, but is said to bring misfortune on all who stay there.”

“One of Sprague’s crew lost his big toe to frostbite and left it there,” Dev agreed. “And then there was Fletcher, who died there from scurvy—”

“It sounds charming,” Joanna said. She picked up her cloak. “I shall go. I need to talk to Alex.”

“No!” Lottie caught her arm. “Jo darling, you’ve almost been eaten by a mad, rampant polar bear! How could you possibly even think of venturing out into the vast wastes of Spitsbergen alone?”

“I’ll take a rifle,” Joanna said. “Papa showed me how to shoot when I was young. I used to hate the noise and the smell and everything about it, but I do know how to use it.”

“I’ll come with you, ma’am.” Owen Purchase stepped forward. “There are a few things I want to say to Grant.”

“No,” Joanna said firmly. All she knew was that it was imperative that she find Alex. The look she had seen in his eyes when he had walked away had shaken her to her soul. “Thank you,” she added, “but calling Alex out will not solve this particular problem, Captain Purchase.”

Dev grinned and handed her his gun. “I won’t try to stop you,” he said. “I’ll just give you some advice. Take Karl as your guide and send him back when you find Alex. We will wait for you both here. Oh, and if you need to shoot anything, try lying down to do it. You won’t get as much recoil if you do.”

“I’ll remember that when there’s a polar bear charging me,” Joanna said dryly. Lottie passed her a satchel.
“I am told that there is something that passes for food and water in here,” she said. “Try to make sure that you are not the meal, Jo darling.”

“Thank you,” Joanna said. She hugged Lottie and went out to where the horses were tethered. Karl was lounging in the sun, smoking some extremely potent and smelly tobacco, but he straightened up when he saw her and gave her a little bow and his gap-toothed smile.

“Please take me to the Villa Raven,” Joanna said, and saw Karl’s smile fade. He muttered something, crossed himself and spat on the ground for good measure.

“He says that place is haunted by bad spirits,” Purchase said helpfully.

“Please tell him he does not need to accompany me all the way, only show me where it is,” Joanna said.

A brief, tense interchange took place between the men and then Karl nodded with clear reluctance.

Purchase turned back to her. “All right,” he said. “He’ll take you down to the strand and watch to make sure you reach the hut safely and then he’ll leave you.” He shook his head. “I wish to hell you’d let me come with you, Lady Grant. I don’t like this at all.”

“I need to see Alex alone,” Joanna said. “Captain Purchase—Owen—surely you understand—”

She saw a flash of something in Owen Purchase’s eyes. “Oh, I understand, all right,” Purchase said. He straightened. “And Devlin was right,” he added reluctantly. “Grant is a fine man. I only said what I did because I was angry.”

Joanna felt the prickle of tears at the back of her throat. “Thank you,” she said.

She remembered the fierce objections Alex had made back in London when she had first outlined her plan to
travel to Spitsbergen. She thought of Lottie’s idle speculation that Amelia Grant’s death had been the cause of Alex’s determination to prevent her from taking the journey and she shivered.

“I failed,” Alex had said, “I could not protect you…”

She put her foot in the stirrup and pulled herself up into the saddle. “Let’s go,” she said.

“W
HAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?”

Alex had known someone would come after him. He had assumed that it would be either Dev or Owen Purchase and he would have had absolutely no compunction about telling them to go to hell.

He had not for a moment imagined that it would be Joanna.

He watched her dismount, tie her horse to the post outside the Villa Raven and come up the rotting wooden steps toward him. She was looking around with the greatest of distaste as her gaze took in the desolate spit of land and the rickety hut, one wall of which was almost flattened by drifting sand.

The anger seethed inside him. He knew that it was not fair to vent it on Joanna, but he was beyond fairness now. All the memories he had repressed for so long, all the guilt, all the horror, had come rushing back like a poisoned tide. He had loved Amelia and he had failed her. He had started to care for Joanna against all sense and against all reason—and he had failed her, too. The bitterness twisted in his gut like a rusted knife.

“Were you not content with almost getting yourself eaten by a bear?” he inquired with deadly politeness.
“Did you really feel the need to venture abroad again so soon with no one to protect you?”

Joanna swung the rifle over her shoulder and placed it carefully against the wall.

“I can shoot,” she said.

From the look in her blue eyes Alex thought she would very much like to shoot him. Excellent. It would put him out of his misery.

“I don’t want you here,” he said brutally. The guilt and grief lashed him again, as it had been doing from the moment he had walked away from her. Anger, with her, with him, pain, blame, hideous remorse… He felt sick with it. He grabbed her shoulders and felt her flinch.