Authors: Alicia Rivoli
I looked at him in disbelief. “You want me to go to a shrink?”
His eyes shifted around the room. He lifted himself off the floor and washed his hands and face.
“Mark? Do you think there’s something else wrong?” I asked when he didn’t answer.
He knelt down, tracing his fingers down my cheek, and kissed my forehead. “I don’t know, but after what I witnessed last night, it scares me.”
I began to cry. I had always been a basket case. I couldn’t hold a tear for anything; even those stupid commercials that talked about saving the animals would make me cry. I hadn’t ever thought that my nightmares would affect me like this. Sure I thought Death was coming for me, but I never expected Mark to see what they did to me.
“What kind of doctor would I even call? Our family doctor surely won’t know what to do.”
“I don’t know, maybe they can give you a sleeping pill, or something else that will help you relax at night.”
“If I go to the doctor and tell him what’s happening, they’ll lock me up in the insane asylum!”
“Lia don’t be ridiculous!”
Speaking was becoming more and more difficult, but that didn’t prevent me from breaking down and bawling like a little girl. I wrapped my arms around my knees; my body was shivering.
“Amelia, I’m scared for you,” Mark whispered as he pulled me into a tight hug. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
We sat on the bathroom floor for several minutes until I was finally able to pull myself together. I grabbed the towel from the floor and used it to mop up my tears.
“I need to take a bath,” I whispered hoarsely.
Mark pulled my chin up and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. His kissed me gently on the cheek before drawing me a hot bath. He leaned down and kissed me again before he left the room. I wasn’t sure how I got so lucky to have married such an amazing man.
My bath was nice; I relaxed in the hot water with a rag over my eyes and sat quietly. I knew I was going to have to put on a brave face and act like nothing had happened. The kids couldn’t see me like this, and Mark had already seen enough. When the water started to go cold, I quickly washed my hair. I looked at the clock on the wall and realized it was already six-thirty in the morning. I still had to get the kids ready for school, and Mark had to go to work today. I needed to pull myself together. Maybe after everyone was gone, I would go to my sister’s house as a distraction from the night.
I dressed in a pair of light denim jeans and a purple top and threw my hair in a messy bun. Mark was already at the table eating a bowl of cereal.
“If you would have waited for a minute I would have made you some breakfast,” I told him.
He smiled at me. “You just need to take it easy today.”
I grabbed two plates from the cupboard and popped a couple of waffles in the toaster. Abigail came running down the hall, her dirty blonde hair sticking up in multiple spots on her head, dried spit stuck to the side of her face. She jumped onto her daddy’s lap and giggled as he tickled her. Hunter was a little slower this morning. He wiped the sleep from his eyes and slid across the floor like a zombie.
“Mommy you look beautiful!” Abby said as she squeezed my legs in a bear-like grip. I reached down and swept her off her feet, kissing her cheek.
“Thank you, my sweet. How about some waffles?”
She squealed delightedly. “I love waffles!”
“How about you Hunter?” I asked.
He shrugged and plopped down at the table.
I smeared the hot waffles with a thick coating of butter and syrup, poured some milk in a couple of glasses, and handed them to Mark. He kissed me on the cheek and set the plates on the table.
“I’m going to go get ready for work. Are you going to be alright today?” he asked me.
I nodded. “I may go to Olive’s today. Maybe we’ll do some shopping.”
“That’s a good idea, but make sure you rest too.” He took some money from his wallet and slipped it into my back pocket.
Hunter shifted in his seat. “Dad, can I have some money too?”
“What do you need money for?” Mark asked.
“They're having pizza for lunch today. I was hoping to eat at school.”
Mark gave Hunter five dollars and ruffled his hair before retreating to the back room to get ready for work.
I raised my eyebrows at my son. “You have lunch money on your account. What do you really need money for?”
He lowered his head, trying to ignore my gaze.
“Hunter, you just lied to your father. You had better answer me right now,” I demanded.
“Some kids at school are selling those really cool survival bracelets, and I want to buy one,” he said shamefully.
I walked over to Hunter and held out my hand. “You have your own allowance for that kind of stuff.”
Hunter put the money in my hand and dropped his gaze back to his waffles.
“You should have just told us the truth honey, and we might have given you some money for it.”
“Whatever,” he said sadly.
“Sweetie, I’m not taking the money away because you have your own. I’m taking it away because you lied to your father. You need to go tell him the truth and ask him again if you can buy a survival bracelet with the money. If he says yes, then I’ll give it back.” I clarified. “It’s always better to tell the truth.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Hunter came back a few minutes later, Mark at his side.
“He can have the money, but he has to do extra chores when he gets home from school,” Mark explained.
Hunter was smiling, his mood shifted instantly. “Thanks dad!” he exclaimed, running forward and snatching the five dollars from my hand. This time is was me that ruffled his hair.
“Mommy, can I have some money too?” Abby asked, her big green eyes staring at me.
I lifted her off her chair and wiped her mouth with a wet cloth. “What would you do with money?”
“I want to buy a toy for a little girl in my class; she doesn’t have a mommy, and I think it will make her happy.”
I stared at her, and my eyes welled up again with tears, and I gave her a big hug.
“How about while I’m shopping with your Aunt Livie today I pick up something for your friend? What’s your friend’s name?”
“Her name is Mindy. She’s new, and her mommy got sick and died.”
Bewildered by the knowledge that Abby had about Mindy, I asked her how she knew so much about her.
“Ms. Tattle told us,” Abigail answered.
“Well, what does Mindy like? Do you think she would like a new doll?”
“Yes! It needs to have blonde hair like mine so Mindy will want to be my friend.”
I kissed her on the cheek and hugged her tightly. “Come on little squirt, we need to hurry and get you ready for school.
Two
I never really intended to go to Olive’s house. After dropping the kids off at school all I wanted to do was sleep. My body was tired. I slipped my jeans off, pulled my hair from the bun, and wrapped myself up in the soft sheets on the bed. My body began to shiver as the cold blankets touched my skin. I closed my eyes and almost instantly fell into a deep sleep. Images of Mindy flashed through my dreams, her small little frame so fragile from the loss of her mother. The scene shifted, and it was Mark that my mind focused on this time, his soft hands rubbing my back, the sweet sounds of his voice as he tried to calm me after a nightmare.
The sun peaked through the curtains, touching my eyelids. It felt warm on my face, causing me to open my eyes. I rolled over, trying to fall back to sleep but knowing that it was a lost cause. I groaned, kicking the blankets off, and climbed from the bed. I washed the dishes from breakfast, then dialed Liv’s number. She answered on the first ring, just as I knew she would. Her cell phone was pretty much attached to her everywhere she went.
“Lia! What are you doing?” she said happily.
“Hey Livie, do you want to do some shopping today?” I asked, explaining I needed to find a doll for Abby’s friend at school.
She squealed delightedly; she was always up for shopping. She wouldn’t admit it, but it was probably an addiction; although, she rarely bought anything. We agreed to meet at the mall in a half hour, which gave me only a few minutes to make myself presentable.
The drive to the mall was short, only around fifteen minutes, but it was beautiful. It was autumn, which meant all the leaves were changing colors. It was my favorite time of year. The reds and oranges, purples and yellows popped so colorfully on the trees; it made the whole area seem like an expensive painting. Livie called it God’s personal canvas. I had to agree; it was truly amazing.
The mall wasn’t busy this morning, but I knew because it was Friday that the local teens would bombard the walkways as soon as they could. Olive waited for me at the food court, a hot chocolate in one hand and a cookie in the other. Her brown hair tumbled in a wave down her back, her brown eyes brilliant against her long thick eyelashes. She always did have a way of dolling herself up.
I smiled at her. “Hey Liv.”
Her smile stretched from ear to ear. “What’s up big sis? I can’t believe you wanted to go shopping! I had to double check my number when you called just to make sure it was you.” She teased me.
“Yeah, yeah.” I shrugged. “I know I don’t get out much.”
“Much? You rarely leave the house. The only time you leave is to go get groceries or pick up the kids at school.” She laughed.
“Okay you made your point. I know I’m a hermit; you don’t have to rub it in.”
“So what kind of doll are you looking for? Is it Abby’s friend’s birthday?”
I explained about Mindy and Abigail’s desire to make her happy.
“What a sweet little girl you’ve raised. That has to be the sweetest little story ever.” Olive admired.
“It made me cry,” I admitted.
“That’s not surprising. You would tear up if you stepped on a spider.”
“Thanks a lot!” I joked. “I’m not that bad.”
Liv just laughed at me. She handed me the cup of hot chocolate. “I thought you might need this.”
I looked at her and cocked an eyebrow.
“When you called this morning you sounded kind of sad. Hot chocolate has always cheered you up in the past,” she explained.
I gave her a hug. “Thanks Liv. I did need a little chocolate fix.”
“Do you need to talk about it?”
I had never told Olive about my nightmares. It was such a strange thing to happen to a grown woman.
“No, I’m just super tired. It was a long night.”
“You and Mark okay?”
I smiled slightly. “We are perfect. I just didn’t sleep well.”
She shrugged her shoulders and linked her arm through mine. Olive had never been pushy, that’s why I loved to be around her when I was having a hard time. She knew exactly what to do to make me forget my troubles.
We searched every store in the mall and couldn’t find a doll. My feet ached, my back hurt, and my head was starting to feel like someone had punched me.
I plopped down on the bench outside Build-a-Bear. “Olive, I don’t think they have any dolls here. Maybe we should try somewhere else.”
“Don’t you give up on me yet. We’ve only been looking for a couple of hours.” She teased.
I dug through my purse in search of any Tylenol or medicine that would help my headache. I knew it would only dull the pain, but anything was better than nothing at this point.
“I have to pick up the kids in an hour. Abby wanted to give the doll to Mindy before school got out,” I explained.
“Okay, okay. Come on.” She pulled me up and dragged me to our cars. “I’ll meet you at Target.” She ran off in the direction of her little Civic.
As I turned the key to my car, something flashed in my line of vision. I looked in the rearview mirror and then turned around but saw nothing. I rubbed my eyes and the temples of my forehead. I double-checked my mirrors and left for Target. It was just across the street from the mall. Liv and I ran inside and instantly found a little blonde doll, dressed in a pink polka dotted dress.
“Why didn’t we just start here?” I asked Olive.
She laughed. “Because you needed to get out of your house for more than a couple of minutes.”
The pain in my head was getting worse. It had moved into the back of my eyelids, which meant I was going to be in for a really bad migraine soon.
“Liv, I need to get going. I’m starting to feel horrible, and I still need to take Abby the doll and pick up Hunter.”
“I thought you looked a little green. Are you going to be okay to drive?” she asked, concerned.
“I’ll be fine,” I lied.
I climbed into my car, and Liv kissed me on the cheek. “I’m going to follow you to the school, then I’m coming over to watch the kids so you can rest,” she insisted.
I smiled. She really had a gift at knowing just what I needed. The drive to the school was scary. I avoided the interstate and kept to the less crowded streets. Olive and I waited for the bell to ring before going inside. We didn’t want to give the doll to Mindy when there were others around. I had picked up a little card as well and signed it from Abby, so Mindy’s dad would know where it had come from.
Abby squealed as she ran down the hall to greet us.
“You found one mommy!” Abigail shrieked, throwing her arms around me and then giving Olive a hug.
I smiled at her enthusiasm. “Where’s Mindy?”
Abby looked around and pointed to a little girl walking down the hall. Her backpack dragged on the ground behind her. She looked exhausted. My heart ached for this sweet little girl.
Abby ran down the hall. “Mindy!” she yelled. “Hey Mindy, my mom brought you something.”
Mindy looked up; her little face smiled slightly when she saw Abby.