White Chocolate Moments (32 page)

"I can't be separated from this man again," Arcineh told Pastor Simon concerning Sam. It was later that afternoon. Sam had called him, and he'd offered to come. Gage was also in attendance. The three of them had talked for hours after arriving home. Things were making more and more sense to Gage, but Arcineh felt completely lost.

"Do you believe you sin, Arcie?"

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"I don't know if I'd call it sin. I think I do wrong. Everyone does" "That's very true. That's why Christ died for the whole world." Arcineh nodded, desperately trying to take it in.

"You can't have salvation vicariously. You can't experience it through Sam"

Arcineh knew that he was right but somehow felt let down. "May I make a suggestion?" Simon offered.

"Yes"

"Follow Sam's lead. If he goes to church, go with him. If he wants to tell you about a verse, listen to him. If he wants to study the Bible with you, do it"

"What will that do?"

"Well, for one thing, it will help you to see why he believes the way he does. I suspect that right now you don't even know what questions to ask, and that will help you."

"I might find what he has?"

"If you keep searching for God, Arcineh, He' will be found. His Word promises just that."

"Where does it say that?"

Simon opened his Bible to Proverbs 8:17 and read, "'I love those who love me; and those who diligently seek me will find me: And this next verse is from Jeremiah 29:13. Listen to this, Arcie. 'You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart:"

The pastor looked at her, and Arcineh could not control her tears.

"I was so afraid" she cried. "I can't be left alone anymore"

Sam was close enough to touch her and reached to put an arm around her. Sam never dreamed that Arcineh would hunger for God so quickly. He wanted to take all the hurt away, but he realized the hurt was probably the very thing that would lead her to Christ.

Gage, on a chair across the room, was ready to confess his need for Christ at that very moment but feared that Arcineh would feel devastated and betrayed.

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Simon did not stay much longer. Arcineh had stopped crying and sincerely thanked him for his time, telling him she would think about everything he said.

Sam and Gage walked Simon to the door. Not afraid to have Sam hear, Gage asked Simon when he could meet with him that week. He and Simon set a time. When the men returned to the living room, Arcineh was almost asleep.

"Oh, my:' was all Arcineh could say when Sam unlocked the door to the first storage unit and flipped the light on so they could step inside.

Sam knew what caught her attention. It was warm inside with plenty of room to move around. Things were completely organized. Boxes were labeled and shelved. There would be no scrounging around to find what she wanted. A choice off the shelf in the year she wanted was all that was needed. Along with the fact that nothing smelled musty or old. The constant, dry temperature assured that.

"There's more furniture than I remembered:'

"I think Mason feared you would change your mind and it would be gone. And don't forget, there is one more of these next door." "With as much in it?"

"A little less."

Arcineh ran her hand over the beautiful carved mahogany dining table and chairs. They were a small shadow in her mind right now. She couldn't even recall eating at this table, but then she had always been the same in that respect, loving the kitchen most.

"God knew all along that these would be here, didn't He?" Arcineh suddenly turned and asked.

Sam nodded, not surprised to hear these thoughts. She had been

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talking like this since waking up from her nap the day before. Clearly new thoughts about God were popping into her head all the time.

Unbidden, Arcineh remembered Jalaina and Will's dining table. None of the chairs matched, and one leg on the table had to be propped up with an old paperback book.

"Sam, is there any reason I can't give things away?"

"None at all. Who were you thinking of?"

"Jalaina and Will. At least making the offer of this dining set:' "Are you sure you don't want it?"

Arcineh looked at it, trying to remember something significant about it.

"I'm sure she said, and this is how it went. Arcineh was almost completely disconnected from the furniture that had been stored for her. She was on the phone off and on for an hour, offering various pieces to Jalaina, Libby, and Grandma. The conversations were humorous as each woman argued and said she must keep her things before giving in.

It was the light moment before the storm. Right after lunch, Arcineh started on the pictures and papers. Thinking to get so much done in the first day, her progress came almost to a halt. Tears she did not want to shed but would not be stopped plagued her for the next two hours. She finally gave up and let Sam take her home, hoping tomorrow would be a better day.

"Unlike Arcie, I've always believed in God, but not like Sam--not in a personal God:' Gage shared with Simon on Tuesday morning. "So much of what you said on Sunday makes sense to me, but I don't know what this looks like. And I'm a little afraid to find out:"

"I'm glad to know you're taking it seriously, Gage. It's an awesome work that was done on the cross and not to be entered into lightly."

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"But it's true, isn't it? Running to the cross--believing in Christ, repenting--will save me, won't it?"

"Yes. Your sins will be forgiven, and you'll have new life in Him."

Gage felt as though a weight had been lifted from him. Forgiveness of his sins. The sound of it alone was amazing to him. All that had been said in the last two Sundays, and everything Simon had shared in Sam's living room, was who he was--a man living for himself, not even aware of how separated he was from God and lost if he didn't do something about it.

"What should I do?"

"You should pray," Simon told him, "and confess to God that you need His saving work on the cross to take away your sins. Tell Him you believe in Him as Lord and Savior, and give your life to Him."

Gage needed no other urging. Bowing his head and praying out loud, he felt as though he could cry all over again. He had prayed before, but never in true humility, and never in such need. When he was done, he felt drained. He asked many questions that Simon answered, but eventually his heart turned to Arcineh.

"I need to tell Arcie about this, and I'm not sure how." "Is it pretty serious between you?"

"It is for me." Gage suddenly shut his eyes. "The thought of hurting her kills me. I think she'll see this as betrayal:'

"Why will she feel betrayed?"

"I think you know about the years she was separated from Sam?"

"Yes."

"She struggles with feeling abandoned. I think she'll see my belief as abandonment. We spent some weeks talking about this and even searching together, and now I've found Christ on my own:"

Simon thought about this for a long time.

"I'm going to say something to you, Gage, that's not the normal.

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You must hear me out, and repeat it all back to me so I know you understand:'

'All right:'

"A believer must never marry an unbeliever. Never, Gage:' Gage nodded, his heart heavy.

"To do so is to disobey God in a very serious way. Now, that being said, I don't want you to cut Arcineh off without a chance. You must keep your heart in check. You must want salvation for her more than you want to love her and make her your wife. Because if she doesn't accept Christ, the two of you can't even be a couple, let alone husband and wife. But her heart is bruised and searching right now:'

Gage nodded, but it wasn't enough. Simon made him say it all back and then questioned him again to be sure.

"Now, listen:' Simon began again. "If this is not an issue where you can keep your heart in check, you'll have to break off with her and leave her in God's and Sam's hands. Not an easy task, I know, but unless you can be careful to guard your now-believing heart, you don't have a choice:'

It was too bad that Gage had another meeting scheduled that he could not miss. He was quite willing to do as Simon directed, but he had more questions about the Bible, and he desperately wanted to see Arcineh and Sam.

Thanking the pastor and trying to control his racing thoughts and emotions, he went back to the office, his decision, the morning, and Arcineh filling his mind.

"You can't be serious?" Jalaina said when Sam and Arcineh followed the moving truck to their apartment. Jalaina had come out to peek in the back, her mouth dropping when she saw the dining table and chairs.

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"Do you like them?" Arcineh asked.

"What's not to like?"

The women embraced, and Sam could not stop smiling. He did not expect Arcineh to handle things in this way, and he was unspeakably proud of her. Jalaina and Will were taking the table and chairs, the buffet, two dressers, and a leather recliner. The sofa was going to Grandma, and Nicky and Libby were getting the rocking chair and the bedroom set.

"Arcie," Jalaina said, suddenly taking her by the shoulders, her expanded stomach nearly touching the other woman. "You might change your mind. It might feel like you've lost your parents all over again. Come back for these things if that happens. We'll take good care of these until you're really sure:'

"I'm sure. Don't worry about scratching things or babying them-- just enjoy these pieces:'

Jalaina stared at her and said, "I don't know how to thank you:' "Since when do you run out of words?" Arcineh teased, but Jalaina had tears in her eyes.

"I love you:' Jalaina said, and Arcineh said it right back. The men wanted to unload the truck, but that had to wait for just a few minutes. The women hugged in very real friendship, momentarily in a world of their own.

"My sister has invited us to dinner on Friday night:' Gage had come over to see Arcineh on Tuesday night when she returned from dance. Violet had gone to her apartment, and Arcineh was already baking cookies. "Are you free?"

"I think so:' she said, but sounded uncertain.

"You'll like Erika:"

"Is she protective of you like Patrice?"

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"She is protective, but nothing like Patrice. And you'll love Luke. He's very laid back and lovable"

"Should I dress up?"

"No, be very casual."

"Can I bring dessert or something?"

"No, Erika will have it all together:'

The timer dinged just then, and Arcineh went to the oven. She put hot cookies on a plate and took them to Gage.

"Peanut butter! These are my favorite:'

"Violet told me:' she said with a smile.

"Thank you:" He smiled back, knowing his news could wait no longer. In short sentences, working to keep his emotions at bay, he told Arcineh about his conversation with Simon.

For one long minute Arcineh said nothing. She could not identify the sensations rolling through her right then and didn't try. "I'm happy for you, Gage:'

"Thank you. I didn't want you to feel left out, but I had to tell you:'

"I'm glad you Arcineh said over her shoulder, pulling out yet another pan of cookies and adding them to Gage's plate.

"Arcie?" he called her name when she did not look at him. "Yeah?" Arcineh made herself look up.

Gage read the confusion in her eyes but had no idea what to do about it. Arcineh saw that Gage looked concerned about her but also excited about his news. She wished someone would tell her it was all right to cry or scream because she felt she needed to do both. Sam came into the room, and Arcineh started to breathe again.

"Oh, Gage, I didn't hear you come in:' Sam greeted, taking a cookie from the tray.

"Hi, Sam." Gage had no more greeted the man when his phone rang. "Excuse me:' Gage said before taking it, and then, "I've got to run home. Stan Esser needs to know about a file on my laptop."

"Okay," Arcineh agreed, mustering a smile.

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"We'll see you later:' Sam said, not catching anything amiss.

Not until Gage left and Arcineh stood staring into the oven did Sam question her.

"You'll be pleased:' she told him quietly. "Gage talked to Pastor Simon today, and he believes like you do:'

"He told you this?"

"Yes, and before I forget, I have a performance in the children's wing of the hospital on Saturday. I'll be headed there midmorning:"

Sam didn't think his heart could take this. She felt utterly rejected. It was almost like looking into her face after her parents had died. Elated as he was for Gage, Sam felt his own heart die a little too.

"Some people are just supposed to be alone, Sam," Arcineh said, still not looking at him.

"I'll never leave you, Arcie. You must believe that."

Arcineh turned and gave him a sad smile. "I think you really believe that, Sam, but it's just a matter of time before Gage doesn't want me. He has Jesus now. And then I won't be able to live here, being this close when I care so much. I'll be the one to leave:'