White Lady (20 page)

I think ’bout what she jus’ said for a minute. I’m such a dick for not gettin’ that Dad was tryin’ to train me up. And then it hits me. Why does Mum wanna try ’n’ trap Dad again if he’s not gonna try ’n’ kill ’er? What’s the point of all of it? Is she doin’ this for me?

“Whaddaya gonna do?” I say.

“I still have connections, you know. You really think after being with Ibrahim for twenty years, I didn’t learn the tricks of the trade?” Mum laughs.

I swallow. Jesus fuckin’ Christ. She really wants to go through with this?

“Mum, you’re totally fucked up, you know that?”

Mum smiles ’n’ raises her eyebrows. “Thanks?”

“I jus’ got one question.” I cough and spit between me feet. “Where you gonna get the dough to give Kimi?”

“Come on, Mick. Just because I don’t say anything, doesn’t mean I don’t know it.”

I frown at her. “You gotta be so fuckin’ cryptic?”

“
You
,” Mum says, poking me in the chest, “have more than enough money to help with that.”

I think I blush. I thought she didn’t know.

“Awright,” I say, rubbin’ me hands over me head. “But even if we did do this shit, what comes next? I mean, fuck. Even if narcs do nab ’im walkin’ outta here with that amount of drugs, Dad’ll have his men onta ya—onta us—in no time ’n’ we’ll be totally fucked. And anyway, how ya gonna find out where to send Kimi to get it?”

Mum looks at the row of magpies sittin’ all peaceful along the back fence.

“I know what I’m doing,” she says. “You just need to trust me. Do you trust me?”

“Do I ’ave a choice?”

Mum smiles ’n’ rests a hand on me shoulder.

“Not really.”

“Awright. When do we do it?”

“Friday. Let’s set it up for this Friday. Night.”

Chapter 47

Sonia: Round and round the garden, like a teddy bear …

I flip through an old photo album looking for the Polaroid of Ibrahim standing out in front of Gaz’s place with Nash. Though Ibrahim graciously let Gaz loose after Gaz became a paraplegic as a result of a job gone wrong, he might still have the connections I need to find out where Ibrahim manufactures his cocaine now.

Gaz used to live above a café, so the shop front window is bound to be in the picture. If I can find the name of the café, I can find Gaz, and hopefully tell Kimi where and how to get hold of the drugs. I can lie; I can say that she’s in debt and needs a financial boost. He’d do me the favour. Surely. Especially since I kept the fact that he tried to hit on me one night all those years ago from Ibrahim. If Ibrahim had have found out about that, Gaz would have become a bloodstain on our back porch too. And I’d have been given the honours.

I dial Nash to try to calm my nerves, and hook the phone between my shoulder and ear to continue flipping through the album.

“Yello?”

“Did you tell her?”

“I tried.” Nash groans. “But she thought I was talking about the drugs. And then I saw the look in her eyes, and I couldn’t go through with it.”

“What drugs?” I suck in my breath, trying to sound as calm as possible.

“For a mathematician, you have a very short memory.”

I close my eyes.
Of course.

“Oh. Right. Yes. Sorry, I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

“I noticed. Do you want to talk?”

“Not really. Do you mind? Just tell me about Mia. That’s she’s okay. I just need to know she’s okay.”

There’s a long pause on the other end of the line. I have to control the urgency in my voice. It’s way too suspicious. “I just care about her. And you.”

The guilt of dragging Mia into this is eating away at my heart more than I thought it would. I guess my self-inflicted rehabilitation has actually started to kick in. What kind of person am I? I don’t even know where I stand anymore. Am I like Ibrahim, or not? Can I ever
not
be like him?

There is an end in sight, though, for the greater good. And that’s the only thing I have to keep telling myself to justify my actions.

It’s for the greater good.

It’s for the greater good.

It’s for the greater good.

“Yeah, I get it,” Nash says. “She’s fine. She quit. I think. She’s a good kid.”

“Good.” I sigh. “Yeah. She’s a good kid.” I shake my head at myself. I feel sick to my stomach. Mick can handle this. He’s lived in the aftermath of chaos his whole life. But Mia? I have to protect her.

Silence.

“Celeste is in town.”

“What? Since when?”

“Don’t know. Met up with her yesterday. It was weird.”

“Weird?”

“Yeah. Weird.”

I scoff. “I don’t know what that means, Nash.”

I can hear a muffling sound as if Nash is switching the receiver to his other ear.

“Let’s just say I’m not sure what’s going to happen next. It seems she’s going to hold off on telling Mia I’m not her father. But I don’t understand why. I think you’re right. It isn’t true. She seems so desperate to see Mia, but she hasn’t. Yet. I don’t get it. To be honest”—Nash laughs—“she might need to be hospitalized. She seemed so—”

“Weird?”

“Yeah. And psychotic.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Wait and see, I s’pose. I don’t want to tell Mia unless I have to. I’m going to wait it out. Maybe Celeste will leave. When she gets bored.”

“Weird.” I smirk.

“You can say that again.”

I flip over another page in the photo album and spot the photo I’ve been searching for. It’s Ibrahim, Nash, and Gaz in their football gear after a match. And the shop front says “Martha’s Bakery.”

“Nash, can I call you back later? I have so much laundry to sort out, and I don’t think I have any clean underwear for tomorrow.”

“No worries. Wanna go out for dinner this Fri?”

Shit! This Friday? How am I going to keep them away this Friday?

“Actually,” I say.
Think think think!
“I have a better idea.”

“Sure, anything you like.”

“Maybe you should take Mia away for the weekend. Spend some quality time together. You know, before anything changes because of Celeste. Give Mia some positive memories, you know? Recent ones. It might help keep you both solid.”

“Nice idea. But I can’t afford that right now.”

“I’ll lend you some money. Come on, it’ll be really good for you both.”

Please please please.

“Maybe. I’ll see how I feel when the weekend rocks around. It
is
a good idea.”

I clench my fists and grit my teeth. A “maybe” will have to do for now. I loosen my jaw and move it left and right.

“Okay,” I say with a forced smile in my voice. “Think about it. But you’ll let me know if you decide to go, won’t you?”

“Sure. Why?”

Good question. Luckily I am trained to think on my feet.

“Well, you’ve got to tell someone, don’t you? What if you have a car crash and no one knows where to look?”

Nash laughs. “Right. Thanks, Mum.”

I smile and sigh with relief.

Let the games begin.

Chapter 48

Mick: My innards are mushy, awright?

The hard fuckin’ part about wagging class is timin’ it so it doesn’t clash with the dicks in PE. At every corner of the fuckin’ school grounds is a football field, tennis ’n’ basketball court, ’n’ a mini track. And yeah, there are only a few safe places to smoke too—like behind the stinkin’ toilet block.

They really make teens feel like filth, ya know? Like ’cause they’re under eighteen they don’t have fuckin’ brains. I’ve got fuckin’ brains. I jus’ like to keep ’em to meself. I don’t need no one knowing I knows what everyone’s thinkin’. I don’t need no one knowin’ shit about me either. If they wanna think I’m thick, then it’s their fuckin’ shit-for-brains problem. Just wait. Wait till they rub me the wrong way. Then they’ll see what thick
really
fuckin’ looks like.

“She’s waiting for me in the football field,” Mia says, snatchin’ me smoke and taking the last drag.

“I should come with ya.” I lean me shoulder against the graffitied wall ’n’ stare at the butt Mia dropped on the ground. “You should step on that, babe.”

Mia squints at me. I smirk back ’n’ step on the butt meself. So what if I actually care about the planet? I’ve seen enough shit on TV to convince meself that I should. I’m not a total loser, you know. I jus’, you know, got a reputation to protect. I can’t have people knowin’ my innards are mushy, awright?

Mia crosses ’er arms over ’er chest ’n’ sighs. “I’m not sure you coming with me is gonna help, babe. She might just freak at the first sight of you and split.”

“Butcha can’t do this on your own.”

“Sure I can. Why can’t I?”

“Ya really think she’s gonna trust what ya have to say without me bein’ there to prove I know?”

Mia shrugs ’n’ scrunches up ’er nose. “I guess not.”

I cup me hand over Mia’s cheek ’n’ stroke me thumb along her cheekbone. God, she’s fuckin’ gorge. I don’t give a toss if she’s got some skin to grab, or if she’s skinny, anorexic, or even a fuckin’ skeleton. With eyes like hers she’s gonna
mesmerize
—is that a word?—me for as long as I’m alive ’n’ can say to all the fucked-up prissy cunts in this school, “Eat shit ’n’ die, bitches.” And she’s not even that fat anyway. She looks better than she used to when she was a fuckin’ cock tease. More real. More woman. More arse. I might even love her as much as I would me own sister … no … wait … I wouldn’t fuck me sister.

Mia leans her face into me hand and kisses me palm. Her lips feel like wet cotton wool.

“Look. Why don’tcha go first,” I say. “Tell her I’m in on it ’n’ explain why. And if she freaks or runs off, message me to come. I’ll sort it.”

Mia nods ’n’ leans into me for a hug. It takes a sec for me to hug ’er back. But fuck, that’s not ’cause I don’t wanna. It’s jus’—I can’t really believe this is all for real, ya know? A year ago, Mia was jus’ like all the other chicks. Hot
as
. A bitchy slut, yeah, but still, there was somethin’ funny about ’er. Not
funny
funny. Just not … normal. There was somethin’ in her face that called out to me.

It said: “Everythin’ hurts.”

And I said back: “I know.”

Mia looks up ’n’ kisses me on me chin. “What time is it? Should I go?”

“Prob’ly,” I say, ’n’ kiss ’er back on the forehead.

“Uh—I have something to tell you first.” Mia pulls back. She has tears in her eyes. What the fuck? Did I do somethin’?

“I really really
really
like you,” she says. “And I don’t wanna lie to you. I don’t want you to lie to me either, and I want this—us—to be—”

“Real?”

Mia smiles ’n’ blushes a little. “Yeah. Real.”

I reach out to pull her closer, but she flicks away me hand. Girls are fuckin’ weird. I thought this was a “moment,” and she flicks away me hand?

“Wait,” she says. “You need to hear what I have to say first.”

I take a deep breath. It sounds serious. I can feel me nostrils flair.

“I kinda … uh, fingered Kimi in the footy field the other day.”

I frown ’n’ then laugh. “You were trying to get shit out of her, though, right? I thought you might do somethin’ like that. Smart.” I nod. She’s a bloody genius. I knew she had good stuff in ’er head.

“Yeah, but see, here’s the thing. I— I sorta, uh—liked it?”

Fuck me! That’s a man’s fuckin’ dream come true. What’s she all wimpin’ out on me for? I laugh ’n’ finally manage to pull Mia into me arms. I kiss her tiny nose.

“So?” I say.

“You’re not mad?” Mia’s voice goes up at the end like a li’l girl’s.

“Fuck off, babe. Why would I be mad?”

“Isn’t it a bit weird?” Mia rests her head on me chest.

“Mia. I don’t give a fuck if yer bi, or whatever it makes ya.”

“Really?”

“Really.” I press Mia’s head inta the crook of me neck. She wraps her arms around me waist. I can feel her smilin’ against me skin. “And thank you.”

“I couldn’t
not
tell you,” Mia mumbles.

“Nah, not for that. Fuck. For helpin’ my mum ’n’ me with this bullshit.”

Mia pulls away ’n’ looks into me eyes. She smiles ’n’ nods. She doesn’t have to say nothin’. ’Cause I can tell that this is for real.

Mia.

My li’l creature.

I’m gonna keep ’er.

Forever and a day.

Chapter 49

Mia: Rust—all it takes is losing a bit of trust

When I approach Kimi in the footy field she is sunbathing with earphones in again. Her skirt is hitched under the elastic of her knickers and her T-shirt below the wire of her bra.

“Hey.” I poke her in the side with my toes and hover over her with my hands on my hips, trying not to think about the sex. I’ve got to focus on Mick now. He’s the one I really want. And with him, everything is gonna be special. I just know it.

Kimi yanks the earphones out, shades her eyes from the sun, and sits upright with a grin when she sees it’s me.

“Hey, yourself. I knew you’d come.” Kimi makes movements to stand up, but I hold my hand out to suggest she stay where she is. The less easy it is for her to run off, the better.

“Don’t get up.” I kneel and sit on the lawn next to her. “I have something important I want to talk to you about.”

“If it’s about the other day, I—”

“It’s not.”

Kimi nods. “This sounds serious. Are you okay?”

“Actually, I’m great. And the reason has to do with you,” I say. Kimi smirks as if she thinks I might be in love with her. “But can you promise me something first?”

“Sure.” Kimi gently touches my knee. I look at her hand, but don’t move it away even though I want to.

“I have a proposition for you. Something that is probably the answer to your prayers.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. You see, I’ve spoken to Mick.”

“About—?” Kimi stretches the word out and lowers her head in question. I was actually expecting her to flip out at the mention of his name. But maybe she was expecting my idea to involve Mick all along. I shouldn’t be so quick to judge a person’s intelligence. Which means right now I also need to be really careful this goes exactly to plan. I can’t let Sonia and Mick down. Not just because I think I’m in love with Mick but because it would be letting Dad down too. If what Sonia said to me is true, that Dad promised Ibrahim he’d never interfere with his business in exchange for Ibrahim never asking Dad for any favours, then the plan
has
to work. Because if it doesn’t, Ibrahim will find out about Sonia and Dad seeing each other, and then everything would turn to shit. For all of us.