White Tiger (26 page)

‘How would he feel if I left, Leo?’

Leo was silent.

My throat was so thick I had difficulty with the words. ‘I feel the same way you do. I am content.’

Ms Kwan’s hand appeared under my nose, holding a packet of tissues. I took one and nodded my thanks, then wiped my eyes.

‘Normally I try to give people hope,’ she said. ‘In your case, there is none. It can never be.’

‘I know,’ I whispered. ‘But I’m happy with what I have.’

She wrapped her arms around me and her power moved through me. I was filled with a warm, glowing feeling of comfort.

After a while she pulled back and smiled into my face. I nodded; I was okay. She turned her gaze to Mr Chen. ‘He will be fine now. Stay here for as long as you need. The apartment is yours.’

‘Is it real, Ms Kwan?’ Leo said.

‘Quite real. I own the apartment outright, and as long as you need it, it is yours. Take care of him. Take care of them both.’

I looked up to thank her but she was gone.

Leo moved closer and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. ‘I think we must be the two stupidest people in the whole world.’

‘I think we’re the luckiest.’ I leaned into him. ‘It must have killed you when he married Michelle.’

‘I was very happy for them. They loved each other very much. It was wonderful to see. And then Simone came along. I think that was the happiest time of his life.’ He smiled at me. ‘And now he has you.’

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

‘I really wish it could be different for you, Emma. For you and him. You should hear him sometimes when he talks about you. I’ve been telling him for ages that he’s mad to keep you around. He’ll only end up hurting you.’

‘Right now I’m happy, Leo. I’m with him. That’s all that’s important.’

He stroked my arm. ‘I understand.’ ‘Does he know?’

He chuckled and his arm shook on my back. ‘Of course he does. He just puts up with me.’

‘No, I don’t think he puts up with you, Leo. I think he loves you like a son.’

He stared at me, then his face lit up with genuine delight. ‘Maybe you’re right.’ He turned back to watch the water. ‘You’re really wise sometimes, Emma.’

‘Wise? I think we’ve just established exactly how stupid I am.’

‘Both of us.’

‘Yeah.’

Simone dragged her grinning father up the beach towards us. ‘I’m
hungry
!’ she yelled.

A
fter I’d put Simone to bed I went out to the living room. Leo was sprawled on the sofa, sleeping. Monica was wiping the kitchen benchtops. I wandered into the kitchen and saw Mr Chen sitting at the large table on the balcony, watching the waves.

‘You should be having a holiday as well, Monica,’ I said. ‘There are some excellent Chinese restaurants around here. If you like, we can take him out and give you a couple of nights off.’

Monica stared at me with horror. ‘Not cook?’ ‘You should have a break.’

She continued to wipe the cabinets. ‘This
is
a break. This apartment is very small. But if I didn’t have to cook, I wouldn’t have anything to do. Please don’t take him out, Emma.’

‘You would have preferred to stay in Hong Kong, wouldn’t you?’

She wiped over the cupboards without looking up. ‘This is a strange place. Everything is so far away from everything else. How do you find your way around? And it’s so
quiet
.’

‘I know,’ I said. ‘Some of my Chinese friends don’t like Australia; they say it’s so quiet they can’t sleep.’

She busily rinsed the cloth in the sink. ‘We look after him. I look after him.’ She smiled at me. ‘We care for Simone. That makes me happy.’

I patted her shoulder. ‘Me too.’

She removed her apron. ‘Goodnight, Emma.’

“Night, Monica.’

She went to her room, smiling contentedly.

I knelt by the couch, next to Leo’s head. ‘Leo.’

He grunted and grimaced.

I patted his shoulder. ‘Wake up, Leo.’

His huge fist lashed out towards my head and I dodged it. ‘Hey, Leo, it’s me!’

He pulled himself upright and wiped his hands over his face. ‘Sorry, Emma. Don’t do that again. If you wake me suddenly I can attack you.’

‘I moved out of the way in time.’

‘Don’t take the risk. Ask Mr Chen to wake me, or just leave me where I am. Gold once woke me in the middle of the night and I broke his neck.’

‘You should have warned me.’

He looked sheepish. ‘Yeah, I know. But I didn’t think we’d ever be in that sort of situation.’

‘Me either, I suppose.’ Then I heard what he’d said. ‘You and Gold were attacked in the middle of the night?’

He smiled gently and I understood. ‘But Gold said you were just good friends.’

‘We are now. That was a long time ago.’

‘I’m sure breaking his neck put a slight damper on the relationship.’

‘Nope. He thought it was hilarious. He kept waking me to try and get me to do it again.’

I nodded towards Mr Chen where he sat on the balcony. ‘What did
he
think?’

‘He hoped it would become something more permanent. He wanted me to be happy. Same as he wants you to be happy, Emma.’

‘I am happy, Leo.’

I stood, took his hand and raised him to stand in front of me. He pulled me into his arms and held me tight. I stretched up to kiss him on the cheek. ‘Go to bed, Leo. You’re buggered.’

He stared at me, speechless, then shook his head, released me and went out.

‘It just means “tired” in Australia,’ I said to his back.

He raised one hand and went into his room, still shaking his head.

I took a teacup from the cupboard in the kitchen and joined Mr Chen. The cloudy sky merged with the dark sea. The waves were a dull roar below. The warm humid breeze blew strongly over the balcony and lifted the loose strands of his long hair.

He poured some tea for me and I tapped the table next to the cup in thanks.

‘Do you know the origin of that gesture?’ he said.

‘No, do you?’

‘Of course I do. I was there.’ He rested his chin on his hand. ‘Once an Emperor went out incognito, just with a couple of guards. He wanted to see what life was like outside his palace, without the layers of formality that separated him from the ordinary people.’

‘The Jade Emperor did that?’

He glanced at me. ‘You are very perceptive sometimes.’

‘Go on. Tell me. It’s fascinating.’

‘We went to a teahouse. The Celestial poured the tea. We were horrified—to have the mighty Emperor pour tea for us, two lowly guards.’

‘Not that lowly.’

‘I’m never going to finish this, Emma,’ he said, with amusement. ‘Sorry. Go on.’

‘One of the guards thought quickly. He bent his fingers and placed them on the table.’ He demonstrated,
bending his first two fingers and putting them next to the teacup. ‘To signify himself kneeling to the Emperor. The Emperor was impressed by the guard’s quick wit and promoted him to senior advisor.’

‘That was very clever of you,’ I said. ‘And over time it’s just become a tap on the table. How long ago was that?’

‘About five hundred years.’ He smiled wryly and put his chin back on his hand. ‘And it wasn’t me. It was Er Lang. I was the guard who
didn’t
think to do it.’

‘Does he really have three eyes?’

‘Er Lang? Yes. Most of the time you can’t see the third one; when it’s closed it’s not really noticeable.’

He turned to watch the waves and sipped his tea. ‘You can see the lights from here.’

‘What lights?’

‘There is a building.’ He gestured inland. ‘It has flashing lights on the roof.’ He sounded bewildered. ‘It’s keeping me awake.’

‘You’re not accustomed to being kept awake?’

He shook his head, his eyes shining. ‘One day I will tell Simone exactly what I have suffered for her. Just when I have overcome one difficulty with being human, another strikes me.’

‘You’ll be able to tell Simone that yourself?’

‘One day. Perhaps. I may be able to return in her lifetime.’ He looked down at his tea. ‘I sincerely hope I will be able to.’

‘Do you know how long you’ll be gone?’

He didn’t look up. ‘Nobody has ever done this before. I have no idea how long it will take, but it will be a very long time. The answer to your question is: no.’

‘I hope you’ll be able to see her again.’ I turned to look at the flashing lights reflected from one of the other highrises. ‘That’s the casino. They’ll turn the
lights off soon. Otherwise they’ll have complaints.’ I grinned at him. ‘Hey, why haven’t you been over there yet? You’re Chinese, aren’t you?’

He looked as if he was going to tell me off, then smiled. ‘Gambling for money is not interesting when money has no value. The Tiger and I occasionally game for much higher stakes than money.’

‘Thought so. Look at the Hong Kong Jockey Club—richest institution in Hong Kong.’

He poured more tea. ‘We need to talk, Emma.’ He put the teapot down. ‘This is very hard.’

‘You should have told me!’ I yelled, and he jumped. ‘Or at least had Leo tell me. I don’t know which of you is more hopeless. Ms Kwan is right.’

He gazed into my eyes. ‘She told you?’

‘Damn straight she did.’

He studied his cup carefully. ‘You are dismissed, Emma. When we return to Hong Kong you will pack your bags and leave.’

‘Absolutely not.’

‘You should leave, Emma. I could hurt you.’ He sighed. ‘I am hurting you anyway.’

‘No! I love both of you too much to leave. I’m not going.’

His head snapped up so that he could see me. ‘You love both of us?’

‘You think I don’t?’ I sighed with exasperation. ‘You think this will make any difference to me, John? You should have told me.’

‘I didn’t want to lose you.’

I reached out to take his hand, then pulled back and held my teacup instead. ‘You won’t lose me. I’ll stay with you until you go. I won’t leave you.’

His eyes glittered. ‘I am making you suffer. You should leave. I could hurt you. Even unintentionally, Emma, I could hurt you. Even now it would not take much.’

‘We’ll just have to be careful, John.’ I straightened. ‘Mr Chen. We’ll just be careful when we’re alone.’ I took a sip of tea. ‘We’ll be friends, we’ll care for Simone.’ I looked into his eyes. ‘I don’t need more than that.’

‘Eventually I will not be able to touch you at all.’

I gazed into his eyes. Love me completely, and be unable to touch me at all. ‘Even if you couldn’t touch me at all, John, I still think I would be the happiest woman in the world.’

‘We are a pair of fools.’

‘I know. But I’m happy to be a fool with you.’ He poured more tea. I tapped the table next to my teacup.

Mr Chen, Simone and I ate breakfast on the balcony the next morning. Simone had already pulled on her new swimmers and was chatting merrily about the beach.

Leo stormed into the kitchen and towered over Monica. He was wearing just a pair of shorts, his dark muscular torso bare. Usually he didn’t come out until he was fully dressed in one of his sharp outfits.

He hissed angrily at Monica. Monica protested just as softly. We couldn’t hear a word they said.

‘What’s going on?’ Simone said.

Monica shook her head and turned away from Leo. He glowered down at her, then he straightened, looked out towards the balcony and saw my face.

He walked to us with a great deal of aloof dignity. He came right up to me and towered over me, his face a mask of fury, but clearly couldn’t think of anything to say. He stormed back into the apartment without saying a word.

I collapsed over the table, shaking with silent laughter.

‘What did you do?’ Mr Chen said.

‘I snuck into the laundry room while Monica was busy,’ I whispered, so softly Simone couldn’t hear. ‘All his underwear is pink.’

‘You are very evil sometimes. I look forward to seeing his revenge.’

‘I don’t.’

The beach had already filled with people, most of them setting up their towels between the yellow and red flags.

‘There’s the flags, Daddy,’ Simone said, pointing. ‘We have to go there.’

‘Having the flags is a good idea,’ Mr Chen said.

‘Looks okay to me,’ Leo said, sceptical.

‘If you came here by yourself, and there were no flags, where would you swim?’ Mr Chen said.

Leo looked up and down the beach. Then he pointed. ‘Over there. Looks calmer there. Don’t know why the flags aren’t set up there, there’s fewer waves.’

‘Most people who are new here think that,’ I said.

‘Leo, if you were to swim there, you would be quickly swept away and probably drown,’ Mr Chen said.

Leo opened his mouth to protest.

‘Even with your strength, I don’t think you could fight the current there. It’s very strong. That’s where the water is going out, not coming in. That’s why it looks calmer.’

‘We call it a rip,’ I said. We all walked towards the flags together. ‘Last year a young backpacker from New Zealand hopped off the bus, dropped his bag in the hostel, changed into his shorts, walked into a rip and drowned. He’d been here less than an hour.’

Leo studied the waves with new respect.

‘They are very useful,’ Mr Chen said.

We dropped our stuff near the lifeguards’ tent between the flags and flopped to sit on our towels. I put sunscreen on Simone, then had Leo put some on my back. His huge hands covered me in no time at all.

Mr Chen stood watching the waves.

‘Go!’ I said.

He glanced down at me. ‘I may be gone for quite some time.’

‘How long, sir?’ Leo said.

Mr Chen looked out at the waves. ‘A couple of hours?’

‘We’ll be fine here,’ I said. ‘Plenty of people around.’ ‘And we have Leo,’ Simone said.

Mr Chen didn’t say anything; he just walked towards the water. ‘Mr Chen!’

He stopped and turned. I gestured with my head towards the lifeguards’ tent. ‘The lifesavers here are professionals. Disappear quietly, otherwise they might try to rescue you.’

He nodded, turned and walked down to the water. He waded into the breakers, then dived into one of the metre-high waves. He didn’t reappear.

Nobody noticed.

‘How come he can swim like that?’ I said. ‘No idea,’ Leo said. ‘Something to do with his nature.’

I raised the sunscreen. ‘Want me to put some on your back?’

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ he said with scorn. ‘The sun’s much stronger here than in Hong Kong, Leo.’

Leo rose and held his hand out for Simone. ‘Want to swim?’

Simone jumped with excitement as she grabbed his hand. ‘Yeah!’

At the edge of the water Simone shrieked with delight and ran away from the waves. I showed her how to jump over the small breakers and Leo watched with a huge grin.

Simone threw herself at Leo with her arms up. ‘Carry me, Leo, I want to go deeper!’

He hoisted her onto his hip, then waded into the deeper water. The waves broke around him but he didn’t seem to notice. Simone laughed and he laughed with her. He didn’t laugh often and it was wonderful to hear them together.

Simone pointed to some children body-boarding. ‘Can I try that?’

‘You want a boogie board?’ I said.

‘That looks like fun. Can I try?’

I touched Leo’s arm. ‘I’ll buy her one across the road at the shops.’

Leo nodded agreement.

I returned to our gear and opened the bag to pull some cash out. I nearly shrieked when I saw the cockroach sitting on the money. I loathed cockroaches and in Queensland they could grow enormous. Then I saw it properly and pulled it out. I looked up; Leo was grinning at me from the surf. This plastic one was going down the back of his technicolour shirt very soon.

I walked through the park and across the road to the shopping centre. A store near the entrance sold small boogie boards and I bought one for Simone.

As I walked back to the beach I realised I was being followed. I watched them out of the corner of my eye: two middle-aged male Chinese tourists, wearing slacks and polo shirts and carrying large leather bags. They were almost like twins, with identical plastic-rimmed glasses and unruly hair. The fact that they were by themselves was unusual enough to be noticeable;
normally Chinese tourists travelled in groups and were bussed around. They didn’t feel like demons, and they were close enough that I should have been able to tell, but I could be wrong.

I hurried back across the park towards the beach. They followed me, talking to each other loudly in Putonghua, making no attempt to hide their presence. They had the distinctive Beijing accent, rolling their r’s.

I reached the wooden boardwalk at the top of the sand and walked out onto the beach. They stopped on the boardwalk; they wore shoes and socks and would have to pull them off to follow me.