Who We Are (16 page)

“Johnny, Desire’s father and I have talked about this, knowing that he would gone to Work for most of the week. Mr. Winthrop likes you quite a bit Johnny, and he trusts you. I will only tell you this once though. Mr. Winthrop does not give his trust out lightly, and if you were to break that trust, you would be punished severely. Now dear, I am not saying this to frighten you, but as you well know, he does not tolerate bad behaviour.” She paused for a moment and motioned for Desire to come over.

“I am not blind, you two, I can tell there is a strong chemistry between you two and truthfully that makes me happy. My instincts tell me that you will be good to my daughter. However, there are rules in this community and in this house and you two must remember those rules. Desire has learned the hard way that punishments are not light around here, and I am helpless to stop them. So, you two must behave yourselves. Desire, you may not understand all of this, but I know Johnny does. You have an opportunity here, young man. Don’t blow it.”

Johnny nodded.

Mama continued. “Mr. Winthrop has told me he is fine with you two spending time together to work on the activities for the Celebration. There are to be no unsupervised visits after dark, however. You two may not spend time together alone in this house. Going to the workshop is fine, knowing that Johnny’s father is there to oversee things and his mother is right next door in the house. Johnny is welcome to join us for family meals and visit after dark when one of us is home. Once your father returns, he will discuss formal courting and expectations with Johnny.”

They both smiled and said nothing. Desire dished out the meat pie and served the plates. The aroma from the pie was mouth-watering. As they ate, they talked about the upcoming Celebration. It was decided that Johnny would meet Desire outside of church tomorrow after Bible study and he would take her to his father’s workshop for the afternoon.

“Should I pack a lunch basket, Mama? I don’t want to put Johnny’s mother out.”

“That is a very good idea. You can do that tonight and take the basket with you in the morning.”

When they were done with their supper Desire cleared the table and Mama brought over the plate covered with cheesecloth. Underneath were about a dozen different types of sweets.

“The church ladies and I experimented with recipes today so that we could finalize the selections for the sweet table at the Celebration. We divided them up to bring home and share with our families. Try them all and be sure to tell me which ones you like most.”

They all sampled the desserts: Brownies with frosting and toasted walnuts, lemon balls rolled in powdered sugar mini tarts with fruit filling and about half a dozen kinds of sweet squares. AS Mama started a pot of tea, Johnny swallowed his last bite of brownie and accidentally let out a huge belch. Mama turned around. “Well! Thank you Johnny! A belch at the end of the meal is considered a compliment to the chef.” She turned to Desire and burst out laughing. Then Desire and Johnny started laughing too.

When the laughter died down, Mama composed herself. “Oh please excuse me, that was completely inappropriate, but the truth is I really just needed a good laugh.”

Desire most definitely needed a good laugh and it felt good to just be silly for a moment, especially given how intense that last couple of days had been. She served the tea and they all stifled a few last giggles.

After they finished their tea and the giggles subsided, Johnny rose from the table. “Good night ladies. Thank you for a wonderful meal and your hospitality.” He nodded to Desire’s mother and then turned to Desire, his back to her mother. “Desire I will meet you outside of the church tomorrow after Bible study.” He flashed her a huge grin and winked. She looked at him trying not to blush.

“I will be sure to pack us a delicious lunch.” That was all she could manage to say and maintain her composure.

He left and disappeared into the night. She watched him walk away for a couple of minutes and then turned to help her mother to help finish tidying up from dinner.

“Desire that was such a nice evening. Johnny is such a gentleman. I am sure your Papa will be pleased that he kept an eye on us while he was away.” Mama continued to tidy up and then went into her sewing room. Desire said goodnight and headed upstairs.

She filled the bathtub with hot water. She dropped in some lavender oil and fetched some clean towels. She slowly undressed while hot steam filled the room and she realized she was utterly exhausted. When she looked at her reflection in the mirror, she no longer saw a silly little girl, but a young woman who was struggling to understand the world around her. She gently lowered herself into the tub. The scrapes on her back stung a little again in the hot water but quickly subsided.

The water felt heavenly and the faint smell of lavender helped her relax. She had so many questions, but felt too exhausted to worry about the answers for now. She closed her eyes and pictured her Johnny. He was almost all she could think about. What was the connection she felt to him? Is that what true love felt like?

Her mind wandered to the incident with Nathaniel. Thinking about it brought back the feelings of fear and humiliation. The feelings were so intense, just thinking about it made her feel very vulnerable. She felt an overwhelming compulsion to expose Nathaniel to that exact level of humiliation. If Johnny hadn’t showed up when he did… she shuddered to think of how much worse it might have been. She washed herself slowly and carefully, trying to relax in the warmth of her tub. Despite convincing herself she was okay, a part of her still felt nervous about walking out in public to Bible study the next morning. What if Nathaniel was alive and was looking for her? What if he wanted to finish what he started? Her naïve curiosity was buried beneath the fear that simmered under the surface. She felt certain that her days alone romping in the forest were over. How could she possibly go to the forest for solace while feeling terrified of being attacked? How could she go exploring in the little corners of the town where no one ever went without fear that he was following her? She couldn’t and she wouldn’t. Despite what some people might consider fearlessness in her, it was really just boldness in what was once a safe world for her.
It’s easy to be fearless when there is nothing to be feared.

She got out of the tub, dried off and put on her nightgown. She happily crawled into her bed and snuggled in beneath the cover. As she drifted off to sleep, she felt Johnny’s strong arms embracing her. She wondered how he got there, but not for long. She felt too happy to be snug in his embrace. He lay beside her and held her tight.

Chapter Fourteen

              Desire found it difficult to concentrate during Bible study because she couldn’t wait to see Johnny. She tried to pay attention to the lesson, but her mind kept drifting. Today, they were learning about how a woman should behave around men, particularly important now that they were young women in the community.

             
Blah, blah, blah. I mean really, they plan to start a new law that states we have to walk behind our husbands in public! How ridiculous! And what purpose will it serve? The Minister actually believes this is a sign of respect for all men in and an acknowledgement that we are here to serve them? This all seems a little extreme.

             
Desire recounted the morning. She had woken up just before sunrise – alone. Johnny, of course, had left quietly during the night. On her bedside table, however, stood her little wooden figure. She grabbed it immediately and popped it open. Inside, she found a new note.              
Looking forward to a wonderful afternoon with you. J.
She tingled as she read the words.

Desire got up and dressed quickly and went downstairs to pack their lunch. She made roast beef sandwiches with on fresh sourdough bread. She packed cookies and fruit and a bottle of fresh lemonade. On top of it all, she placed a picnic blanket. She left to walk to town.

              The other girls were watching her as she entered Bible study carrying her basket. She felt sure that their curiosity was getting the better of them. Tired of their snooty looks, Desire just smiled and bid them all a good morning.

              She had put the figure in her pocket that morning. She put her hand in there now to make sure it was still there. Feeling it in her hand was a pleasant reminder of Johnny. The relationship that was unfolding with him was not only exciting and new, but it gave her hope; hope for brighter days ahead.

              “Desire! Please answer the question!” She was jolted back into reality at hearing her name. Today’s instructor, Eli, had asked her a question, but she didn’t have a clue what it was. She stood up beside her desk and cleared her throat. She fidgeted a little and was about to confess that she had been daydreaming when Eli piped in. “Desire, please tell us before the sun sets today what the ultimate gift that a man can give a woman is.”

             
Oh, phew! That’s an easy one!
“The ultimate gift that a man can give a woman is a strong, healthy son.” She waited for a nod from Eli before he sat down.

              “Good girl, you were paying attention. From up here, it looked as if your mind was drifting.” Some of the girls giggled quietly until Eli took his ruler out and whacked the edge of his desk a few times. “That will be enough of that!” The girls quickly hushed. Eli quizzed the other girls until after what seemed like an eternity, they were dismissed.

              Desire paused a bit, waiting until the other girls left the classroom because she didn’t want those busy-bodies poking around in her personal business. After the last of them left, she made her way to the door pushed it open. She saw Constance and her group of friends sitting on the bottom steps of the Church; there was no way around them. As she tried to plan her escape, she felt a gentle tap on her shoulder. She turned around to find Tobias standing behind her. He put a finger to his lips, making a faint shushing sound, and led her back into the church and closed the tall, heavy wooden door.

              “Good morning Tobias, I didn’t know you were here today. How are you feeling?”

              He smiled at her and said, “I am feeling very good today, my dear. Thank you for asking.” He gestured toward the wooden door. “It looks like the church steps are a popular meeting place today.” Desire rolled her eyes in exasperated agreement. “Normally, all of those girls go straight home after class, but I suspect they are all a little curious about that picnic basket you are toting around today.”

              She looked down at her basket and then back up to him. “Yes, I suppose they are. But my Mama and Papa gave me permission to work with Johnny today so I am not being disobedient.”

              “Of course you aren’t, my dear. I am not here to get you in trouble. Quite the opposite in fact. Come with me, and we can exit the church a different way. Trust me.”

              She did trust Tobias so she followed him up the centre aisle of the church. When they reached the altar, he began to climb up the altar steps, but she stopped before the first step. Tobias turned to look at her questioningly.

              “Tobias, you know I am not allowed up there. I could get into a lot of trouble.”  Tobias retreated a few steps. “Desire, you need to trust me completely and follow me. You must trust that Johnny and I are here to protect you; not harm you or get you in any more trouble.”

             
He and Johnny? I didn’t even know that he really knew Johnny! What is going on here?
But before she could ask or even wonder further, Tobias took her hand gently. Her fear subsided and her trust in him surged. She followed him all the way up the stairs.

They walked right past the Minister’s seat and all the chairs of the elders. They walked across the back of the altar to a little door almost invisible to the naked eye. But this door didn’t even open! Tobias slid the door and Desire watched it disappear into the wall. Tobias walked through the opening and so did Desire. Tobias turned and slid the door back into place.

             
Wow! That was so neat. I wonder how many other doors are hidden in the walls around here.

              As they walked along a corridor, Desire worried that they might run into some of the Elders conducting business, or even the Minister. That would be dreadful. Soon, they reached a secret area where all the church and community business was tended to. What she saw though completely surprised her. The entire area behind the altar was completely empty; there wasn’t a thing back here. It reminded her of Johnny’s father’s workshop. There were no rooms and she felt certain there were no hidden doors. With the exception of the wall that they snuck through, all of the other walls were outer walls and constructed of stone.

              Tobias led Desire to another door. He opened it and sunshine streamed in. Desire stepped out and walked down a set of stairs. Tobias closed the door quietly, but firmly, and made his way to the bottom of the stairs. Desire smiled at Tobias in gratitude, and he nodded and headed off into town.