Whole Health (31 page)

As a culture, we are very awkward about emotion in general. We exercise our bodies and minds, but we are at a loss as to how to
exercise when it comes to emotion. In the case of grief, it's very simple. Our hardships produce an emotional buildup that needs to be released. It's about quieting the mind and listening to the language of the heart. Only the heart can lead the way—but it is essential that we remain consciously in tune as it takes us on our emotional journey. We grieve, but we don't always do it with awareness and with an intention of finality in mind. Some continue to grieve over the same thing on and on and on. That's why so many people repress and deny their grief. They believe they will be uncontrollably overcome by the tidal wave within. They don't understand that they have the power to consciously predetermine when they'll be done, and thus to finalize their grief.

Every other aspect of our lives has a beginning and an ending. When we exercise our bodies, we do so for an allotted time, and we're not done until every task has been counted out and checked off. We exercise our minds the same way. We sequence our way from kindergarten through grade school, high school, and college on a calculated and timed basis. So it should be with our emotional exercise.

I advise my patients to set up their grief exercise environment in advance. Choose a place and time where you will not be disturbed. Put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door, and turn off the phones. Create an environment for emotional exercise with scrapbooks, pictures, postcards, and mementos, and cue up some sad music. After all, you use music to create an environment and set a mood for exercising your body at the gym, so why not do the same for the emotional exercise of your grief? I like to ask patients, on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest, “How much grief energy have you stored over the course of your lifetime and how much have you released?” A vast majority tell me that they have stored significantly more grief energy than they have released. I hasten to remind them that their grief is a natural representation of their innermost self. Without it, they can't be whole.

THE LUNG SPIRIT'S COURAGE

The Cowardly Lion in
The Wizard of Oz
was a well-chosen character, intended to make us all feel a little bit better about facing the demons within our mortal selves. After all, we've been led to believe that big boys and big girls don't cry. For us, courage is seen as a power that only some people are blessed with. We've been taught to perceive grief as weakness and courage as strength. As with all things, the ancient Chinese understood that all dualities were as one. The thought of being both weak and strong at the same time is unfathomable for us, but grief is a potentially destructive force within us that can also germinate our creational energy of courage.

It's impossible to know true courage without experiencing grief. One of my former Chinese teachers, a centenarian, once explained to our class that, during the Second Sino-Japanese War, many Chinese families had to leave their homes and dig out living quarters into the surrounding hills and caves for their safety and survival. He explained that there was much suffering and grief, especially among the elderly. He pointed out that when confronted by the invading Japanese, it was often those with the greatest suffering and grief who sprang forth to show the most bravery and courage.

They believed that the spirit of the lungs was represented by the mortal soul. Our mortal soul reflects who we truly are and all we came to do. It symbolizes the most complete self that we can find the courage to live through. The mortal soul represents the greatest human potential fully realized—emboldened by the courage to live out our uncompromised truth—kissed by the tears of our own grief.

THE KIDNEY SPIRIT'S FEAR

The kidneys are the root organs of the Five Elements Principle. They represent the water element that's in charge of controlling the
fire element. When the water element is in balance, the fire element is also in balance. If our water element is deficient, our fire is free to run wild. The same fire that warms the house and cooks the food can burn down the house. It can also work the other way. If our water element is excessive, it can put out our fire, leaving us with no means to cook our food or warm our home. In terms of spirit emotions, if our fear is deficient, it can result in joy that becomes uncontrollable mania. Likewise, if our fear is excessive, it can extinguish our heart's joy.

The kidneys hold the key to the spirit's emotion gate, as their fear has governance over all other emotions. For example, many people who suffer from chronic anxiety don't realize that the principal emotion that lies at the root of their stubborn imbalance is actually fear of grief. It's not the anxiety—it's the fearful obsession to control their overwhelming sadness. The depth of repressed grief often drives us to create a compelling thought distraction called “anxiety.”

I recently saw a seventy-two-year-old woman who had suffered with generalized anxiety most of her life. Her family expressed growing concerns about what appeared to be an accompanying obsessive-compulsive thought disorder. Her thoughts swirled about over every little inconsequential thing imaginable—she seemed to have lost her mind's “off” switch.

After extensive evaluation, I discovered that she was carrying some very deep emotional wounds from her past. She told me that she was deeply disturbed about living such a disrupted life in a bad marriage. She discovered too late that the man she'd married decades earlier was a substance abuser. She explained to me that she couldn't bring herself to leave him, and that she's carried a deep sadness and regret that her life had been so wasted. She admitted that she had great fear and apprehension about looking at her grief. After a lifetime of repression, her grief had become a tidal wave. I gently and assuredly encouraged her to let go of the fear
she had of her grief. Crippling fear held the key to the emotional gates of her other corresponding emotions. This is what forced her to create mental distraction from pain through obsessive thought addiction.

After some time, she began to feel more comfortable with the notion of releasing her grief, and very soon thereafter she was no longer plagued by anxiety and obsessive thinking. By spiritually accepting and releasing her pain, she drained all the energy out of her anxious, obsessive thoughts. By balancing her kidneys' spirit of fear, she was at last able to begin establishing a healing calm in her life.

THE KIDNEY SPIRIT'S CALM

Whenever we think of water, we instinctively think of reflection. When water is calm, it renders greater reflection. In the Five Elements tradition, everything works both ways—calm and reflection are synonymous terms. When there is great calm, there is greater reflection—when there is great reflection, there is greater calm.

Look at the world around you. All you'll see are fast-rushing, turbulent waters, offering little or no reflection. Look at the heavenly reflection of the multiverse above you—on a clear night, your mind is invited to swim in an infinite sea of luminescence. Stargazing has a profound calming effect. Finally, look at the multiverse within you and, as you do so, remember that which manifests externally is equally manifested internally. Every time you go within, you are invited into the sea of your own micromultiverse. There, you can also gaze at the infinite within in order to generate calm. Access to our calming reflection within is provided only by our fearless willingness to look upon our own deepest manifestation of self.

The ancients tell us that the kidney spirit is occupied by the
Will—and our will represents the one force that, if engaged, can determine our destiny. A will afflicted by fear, however, is like a fire extinguished by water. The kidney spirit presents us with a simple formula for spirit balancing. Deep reflection cultivates a spirit of calm that allows the fire of our will to reach our highest destiny.

One of my master teachers once taught me a Qigong exercise that was part of his family tradition for over 3,400 years. The name of the exercise is Building the Mountain of Spiritual Marriage. It needs no further explanation, as its name clearly states its intention. It reminds us that we've all come into consciousness to meet, consummate with, and ultimately emanate as one, from our spirits. As with all relationships, it's a gradual process that must progress in stages. First we discover our true nature, then we unify with it, ultimately becoming one with it. Over time, we add layers to the building of our spiritual mountain. The kidneys lie at the base of the spiritual mountain. By balancing our kidney spirit emotions of fear and calm, we establish a foundation from which to layer our spiritual mountain ever upward.

The Five-Element Organ Spirits (Emotion Blockages)

1. The Liver spirit (Hun)— “The Immortal Soul” (anger)
   
2. The Heart spirit (Shen)—“The Emperor” (hatred)
   
3. The Spleen spirit (Shi)—“The Intellect” (anxiety)
   
4. The Lung spirit (Po)—“The Mortal Soul” (grief)
   
5. The Kidney spirit (Zhi)—“The Will” (fear)
   

Here again we can see the physical and spiritual intertwined. The Chinese believed that within us are unique animating spirits exuding from each of our major organs. The spirit within each organ can only be awakened by clearing the emotional blockages. Only by energy balancing can one awaken the powerful visceral spirit energies.

WAKING UP THE ORGAN SPIRITS

Waking up the Liver's Spirit

The liver's spirit was said to be our immortal soul—the internal core of our spiritual self that, throughout our many incarnations, continues to define our core nature, the very way we live, and our unique way of being. In context with the Five Elements, it was believed that the liver's spirit can become blocked when imbalanced by anger.

FIGURE 8.2 (a)
The Liver's Spirit Points

1.
Liver 1 “The Great Esteem Wood”

This point will assist you with your spiritual growth as well as your confidence, boldness, strength, and purpose. Begin waking up your liver's spirit by simply pressing a finger into the Liver 1 acupuncture point for no more than one minute. As you do, remember to mentally focus on all of the aspects of your life that the liver's spirit is about to help you with.

2.
Liver 2 “Walk Between Fire”

This point will help you with adaptability, flexibility, and being
more open to all forms of love, compassion, and forgiveness. It will also significantly increase your ability to manifest positive visions. Again, press a finger firmly into this point for no more than one minute while focusing on the proper intentions.

3.
Liver 3 “Supreme Rushing Earth”

This point will stabilize and root you, as you continue to climb higher in your spiritual ascension. It will also open and stimulate the channels of nourishment from your spirit to the rest of your entire being. Press into this point for one minute with the proper corresponding mental focus.

Waking up the Heart's Spirit

FIGURE 8.2 (b)
The Heart Spirit Points

The heart's spirit, or “Shen,” was considered the core spirit, and was referred to as The Emperor, as it had the power over all ease and
dis-ease, joy, and hatred, and ultimately physical life and death. The heart's spirit can become blocked by imbalances from hatred.

1.
Heart 1 “Utmost Source”

This point will help you to overcome any self-contempt. It will align you to receive divine love and increase the depth of warmth in all your relationships. Press on this point for one minute and focus the corresponding positive healing intentions.

2.
Heart 4 “Spirit Path”

This point will assist and guide you, keeping you on the proper path of spiritual life. It represents the one true path and enhances your wisdom, discipline, and strength for navigating the straightest course. Press into this point firmly for one minute with the proper focus and attention.