Who'll Kill Agnes? (13 page)

Agnes hoped that Audrey would leave before Bernadette finished.

However, this was not to be the case. Carefully licking the remaining syrup from her fork, Bernie announced, “Well, got to go. Me and Audrey are going to town. See ya.”

She was followed by Kevin who called after her, jokingly, “Hey, don’t spend all my money.”

Agnes gritted her teeth. Something had to be done about Bernadette
.

Lester had taken his coffee out on the patio to enjoy not only the outdoor luxury of Henley House but also the peace and quiet that came without Agnes’ presence. “Damn! This place has my name. I want it to be mine, all mine!”

He was worrying himself into a panic convincing himself that his little plan wasn’t being taken seriously. Something had to be done and soon, he kept telling himself.

As Mark cleared away the breakfast dishes, he realized that he had forgotten to ask if anyone would be having lunch at home today. “Anyway,” he decided, “I’ll just set out the usual soup and sandwich buffet. Too bad there aren’t any leftovers from last night. This family’ll eat anything, I swear. At least I know Agnes will show up for lunch.”

He wondered if he would still be here when school started and if Agnes would continue eating lunch at home. He could imagine her bragging to her co-workers about her authentic French chef. But would his charade last that long?

Just as Mark had expected, Agnes returned to the kitchen at twelve o’clock sharp. “Oh, Marcel darling, I only want a salad today,” she said as she spotted the sandwiches and soup. “I’ll go out to the garden myself and pick out my favorite veggies. If I allow myself even a tiny bite or sip of your buffet goodies, I’ll give in and stuff myself silly. Then I’ll ruin my appetite for tonight’s chili.”

“Very well, muh-dom, I’ll leave these things out in case anyone else shows up, and then I think I’ll go shopping for my secret ingredients for tonight’s le bone repast.” Sometimes he almost forgot to implement his fake French accent but Agnes never seemed to notice.

After leaving the supermarket, Mark decided to have lunch at the Deli-Sandwich-Coffee Shop. Once in a while he needed a break from his own cooking. To his surprise, he found Kevin there biting into a huge submarine sandwich.

“What?” teased Kevin, “not staying at home and partaking of your own French cuisine?”

“Nah, what about you? Tired of my cooking?”

“Hell no, man, it’s just that, well, I was downtown and not planning to go home till later.”

Mark sat down beside Kevin and ordered a Reuben sandwich. Their conversation dwelled on athletic events and Magnolia Creek’s softball team. Mark wondered how an athletic guy like Kevin could be so happy living a life of doing absolutely nothing. He himself enjoyed working, having something to do each day, even if it was catering to the nonsensical whims of rich people. Ah well, he thought, ‘to each his own’, a saying he had heard Lester say once in a while. Of course some people had more than others. And besides, he had plans
.

His sandwich finished, Mark got up. “Guess I’d better get back to the house.”

“Yeah, man, no problem, or as ‘Marcel’ would say, no problemo. Damn, you’re funny at times.”

“Thanks, you coming back now?”

“Nah, I got some stuff to do around town. Looking forward to that chili tonight.”

Mark grinned and waved goodbye. What kind of stuff could he possibly have to do? He wondered if Kevin would end up as nutty as his mother. Then he laughed at himself. He really didn’t care how he ended up. Kevin had gone along with the masquerade and that was all that had mattered.

As he entered the back door Mark noticed how eerily quiet the house was. He went to the kitchen and began putting away the groceries. Next he went to the breakfast nook. The lunch buffet was as he had left it.

And Agnes was still there but slumped over, face down in her salad.

“Miz Henley,” he said quietly. She didn’t move. He walked over to her and carefully felt her pulse. There wasn’t one. He glanced down at the contents of her salad bowl, which were garnishing her face.

CHAPTER TEN

Mark calmly dialed 911 and reported that there had been an accident at Henley House. He knew Agnes was dead but decided the paramedics should make that pronouncement first. Next, he walked out into the main hallway and shouted up the stairs, not expecting a reply due to the stillness of the house, but deciding to make sure anyway.

To his surprise, Audrey answered, “Yeah, Mark, what is it?”

“Ha-have you been here a while? I didn’t think anyone was here when I got back from town.”

“I was in my room. I guess I fell asleep reading a book. Why? What do you want?”

“There’s been an accident.”

At that moment Bernie appeared from the suite she shared with Kevin. “What’s going on? What are you two gabbing about?”

“What? You’re here, too?” he asked, rather astounded.

“Yeah, I been trying on some new dresses that I bought.”

“Then neither one of you ate lunch?”

“We ate an early lunch downtown,” answered Audrey. “We had planned to shop all day but Bernie just couldn’t wait to try her new dresses on, so we came on home.”

“Hey! Are those sirens I hear?” asked Bernie.

“My goodness, Mark, are those sirens coming here?” gasped Audrey. “What kind of accident are you talking about?”

“Huh? Accident? What’s going on?” demanded Bernie.

“Come on down. It’s Agnes.”

Audrey and Bernie stared at each other, open-mouthed, and then simultaneously ran down the stairs.

“Where? What? How? When?” they both yelled.

“Just calm down and wait.”

Lester burst through the front door. “What the hell’s going on? That damn ambulance followed me all the way home!”

“Agnes has had an accident, but we’re not sure what happened. Mark found her.” explained Audrey.

“Agnes?” His startled expression turned immediately to concern. He looked around. “Where’s Penny?” He desperately needed all three women in the library at once. Now was the time to improvise.

While Lester was worrying over his own problem, Mark was leading the paramedics through the kitchen to the breakfast nook. Then Lester thought to ask, “Accident? Then she’s-she’s not?”

“We don’t know,” wailed Bernie. “Mark didn’t say.”

Penny came running in from outside, breathless.

“Where have you been?” demanded Lester.

“Wa-walking in the gardens. Then I heard the sirens and suddenly realized they had come here. What’s happened?”

“Something’s happened to Agnes but we don’t know what,” explained Audrey.

“Oh!” gasped Penny.

“Are you all right?” asked Lester. “You look like you’re going to faint.”

“Yes, I guess I’m okay,” she replied meekly.

“Fine. Now I want everyone in the library while I find out what happened. I mean, after all, she is my wife.”

The three women obediently trooped into the library.

Lester ran to the kitchen and grabbed Mark.

“She’s dead, Lester,” he said evenly.

Lester sank into a chair and buried his face in his hands, relief sweeping over him, but pretending uncontrollable grief. “How did it happen?” he moaned.

Mark didn’t think he should say anything definite until the authorities arrived. “I don’t know. I found her face down in her salad. The paramedics are waiting for the cops and the medical examiner.”

“Cops? Why do the cops have to come? You should have called Quincy Martin. He’s the Justice of the Peace!”

“That’s just the way it is nowadays, I guess. The paramedics called them. And why should I have called old Quincy? The guy’s an idiot. Come on, Les, you need to calm down. You’re not making sense.”

“I-I’ll tell the others,” he said as morosely as he could and left the kitchen. Were they going to be able to pull it off? So far, the women had put on a damn good show. That damn Mark! How could he be so stupid and not call Quincy? Didn’t people know they’re supposed to call a JP when someone was found dead? Damn, why did it have to be Mark that found her?

As he walked into the library, three feminine faces anxiously turned toward him.

“She’s dead,” he stated matter-of-factly.

“Ohhh,” they all murmured.

“But how?” asked Audrey.

“Mark doesn’t know. He found her face down in her salad. He and the paramedics are waiting for the cops to arrive.”

As he watched the information sink in, Lester said, “Now, we’ve got to work on our alibis.”

“But Mark said it was an accident,” objected Audrey, “so why are the police coming?”

“Mark don’t know diddly,” snapped Lester. “I thought ole stupid Quincy would come sign the death certificate, put anything I told him. Heart attack, maybe. Whatever happened, we got to have alibis anyway, just to be on the safe side.”

The three women looked at each other then at Lester in horror. They were damn good actresses, he would give them that.
“Okay,” he said sprightly, “Audrey, didn’t you and Bernie go shopping?”

“Yes, but…”

“No buts. Did Mark or Kevin see you when you came back?”

“No, but…”

“I said, no buts. You two were out shopping and had just come back when Mark found her.”

The two women stared at each other. “That won’t work, Les. We already told Mark we were here,” explained Audrey.

“What?” Lester almost screeched.

“Wait,” said Penny, “do you know when she died?”

“No,” said Lester, “but it had to have been sometime after noon. She was dead in her salad.” His voice was croaking. Damn, that was funny, he thought, but he knew he had to get control of himself.

“But,” Penny asked the other two women, “did you tell Mark what time you got home?”

“No-o-o,” said Audrey slowly.

“Okay, then you two can alibi each other. Just say you went upstairs together and stayed there. You can both say you left your doors open and would have known if the other went downstairs.”

“I wouldn’t change clothes with the door open,” protested Bernie.

“Shut up, you ninny,” said Audrey. “This is an alibi we’re talking about. We’re going to do exactly as Penny said. We were upstairs with the doors open. I was reading and fell asleep just as Mark called out to us. I already told Mark that, so I can’t change it, dammit! And you were changing clothes. Now, that’s it. You got it?”

“Yeah,” she replied sullenly.

As Bernie had never exhibited much in the way of modesty, Audrey thought it nerve-wracking that she should at this time put on such a silly act.

“Okay, that’s settled,” said Lester. “Now, Penny, we’ll say you and I ran into each other downtown and we bought hamburgers at Lottaburger’s Drive-Thru.”

“Is that where you ate, Lester?” asked Audrey.

“Yeah, but nobody’ll remember whether we went there or not. We’ll say we ate on the way home.”

“But she wasn’t with you when you drove up,” Audrey pointed out, “and the paramedics were right behind you.”

“Oh, right. Okay, let’s say after eating in the pickup I let Penny out to do some window-shopping and she walked home alone. No, that won’t work because I think I asked where Penny was in front of Mark. Damn!”

“Oh my, oh my,” cried Penny. “What am I going to do?”

“How about this?” suggested Audrey, “we’ll say you went shopping with Bernie and me.”

“But lots of people saw you and me together but no one saw Penny,” objected Bernie.

“It doesn’t matter. We’ll say we split up as soon as we got downtown then met again to come home. When we got here Penny decided to go for a walk and didn’t come inside.”

“That’s not good,” grumbled Lester. “One of us has got to say we saw Penny someplace.”

“Oh, I’ll say I saw her out in the gardens from my window, that she never came near the house,” said Audrey.

“But-but you said you fell asleep,” wailed Penny.

“Th-that was just before Mark found the body,” Audrey had difficulty in describing Agnes that way. “I just barely dozed off. Agnes had to have been dead before Mark came home.”

They fell silent as the ramifications of what they were discussing hit them. Agnes was really dead and they were each contributing to a cover-up, a possible crime in itself.
And more than one of them was thinking that someone had actually committed murder!

Audrey broke the silence, “Now, Lester. Your alibi. Did anyone see you downtown?”

“Sure, lots of people.”

“Very good. Then if Agnes died between noon and,” she glanced at her watch, “well, right now it’s after one-thirty, say one-fifteen and a lot of people saw you, including the paramedics, then you have the best alibi.”

Lester sank into a deep easy chair and collapsed, thinking that if Audrey could figure out that he had an unbreakable alibi, then surely those idiot cops could do the same.

“Now,” continued Audrey, “Penny, Bernie, and I went shopping. We ate downtown, Bernie and I together. Where did you really eat Penny? Here?”

“No, I skipped lunch. I gulped down a large breakfast. The French toast, remember? I wanted to work up an appetite for tonight’s chili.”

“Well, we’ll just say you shopped while Bernie and I ate. Then we’ll say we came home, say around one o’clock. Bernie and I went upstairs. Penny, you stayed outside.”

“But we got home earlier than that,” argued Bernie.

“Oooh, Bernie, we’re creating alibis! We have to stick to the same story. Just remember one o’clock we arrived, you and I upstairs, Penny outside, Lester downtown the whole time. That way we’re all covered. This is for your own good and ours, too. Do you understand?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Well, you’d better,” chastised Lester who added in a rather matter-of-fact tone, “now we got to act natural which means we’re in mourning but we can’t overdo it either.”

Suddenly, Audrey fell onto a sofa and exclaimed, “Can you believe it? It’s happened! Agnes, my sister, is really dead!”

“That’s good! That’s good!” approved Lester. “But you have to cry some. Shed some tears. Let’s all of us get into the act now. Agnes was a respected community leader. We’re her family. We, above all, have to put on a good show of grief.”