Who's Your Daddy? (25 page)

“On a school night?”

“I told him he could go as long as he was back by ten thirty.”

“I thought you didn’t like them out on school nights.”

I shrugged. “I don’t like him out with her at all.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I know,” I said. “But he asked last night, and they got in on time last time they went out on a school night. Figured it wouldn’t be the end of the world to let them do it again.”

Isaac raised an eyebrow. “Decided not to play the hardass with him for once?”

“Have to keep him on his toes.” I laughed halfheartedly. Then I sighed. “I hate it when he’s out with her. I’m always afraid they’re doing something they shouldn’t.”

“I know what you mean,” he said quietly. “You thought about talking to him about it?”

“What do I say?” I said. “I’ve already explained the risks and precautions relating to sex, why he shouldn’t drink or do any of the other crap kids are doing these days.”

“True. But maybe if he understood why you’re especially concerned about her.”

I shook my head. “It’ll only make her more tempting. I don’t want to send him right into the same situation his mother and I got into.”

Isaac shrugged. “Well, maybe you should tell him that.”

I said nothing. Ryan and I had had those conversations a few times, and they’d usually ended with him insisting he knew, he knew, he knew, but I knew certain things when I was his age too. And, well, he existed, so obviously I didn’t apply it as well as I should have.

Then Isaac cleared his throat again. Something flickered across his expression, some sort of apprehension that creased his forehead and deepened a pair of crevices between his eyebrows, but it quickly disappeared. “Carmen, um, came by the office.”

“Oh.” I swallowed. After what she’d told him the last time she came by his office, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. “Any particular reason?”

“She, um, wanted a little advice about telling her folks,” he said. “So I suggested she call you. See if you’d be willing to go with her when she talks to them.”

“Sure, that’s fine. I’d be more than happy to.” Still, something hid in his expression, so I added, “You okay?”

“Yeah, I—” His eyes flicked up and met mine, and he quickly dropped his gaze. Isaac pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know why I feel guilty about this. I guess, I…”

Cold liquid flowed through my veins. “What? What’s going on?”

“Well, she and I…” He waved a hand. “We got a little carried away, and…”

“You fucked her in your office?”

The red in his cheeks deepened. Avoiding my eyes, he nodded.

I laughed softly. “Did you think I’d be upset?”

“Well, no. Not necessarily. I…” He shook his head. “I don’t know. I guess I felt a little weird about it. Since…you weren’t there, and you didn’t know up front, and—”

“Isaac.” When he met my eyes, I smiled. “It’s okay. We agreed any of us could sleep together, even if we weren’t all there.” I forced some sternness into my expression and voice. “But if you christened that couch with her, after all those times you wouldn’t let me…”

Isaac laughed. “No, not the couch.”

“Well, then there’s no reason to worry about it, is there?” I grinned and put my hands on his waist. “But if you ever decide to christen that couch with someone, it had
better
be me.”

“Hmm.” He furrowed his brow. “What about both of you?”

“As long as I get you first.”

Isaac chuckled and kissed me gently. Then he said, “Oh, by the way, she had an ultrasound this morning. Want to see the picture?”

My heart skipped. I nodded. “Yeah, I do.”

He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. From it, he produced a small picture, and handed it to me.

I held it in both hands like I thought it might crumble to pieces if I wasn’t extra careful. The baby was still strangely proportioned as they always were at this point, but it was definitely a baby. The earliest stages of the next generation to be charged with keeping me awake, draining my wallet and graying my hair.

Jesus Christ, just looking at this fuzzy picture, I was already wrapped around this kid’s finger.

And my father doesn’t think we can possibly love a baby like a “proper” set of parents?

I set the ultrasound image on the counter and slid it back toward him. While he tucked the picture into his wallet again, I leaned against the kitchen counter and stared up at the ceiling. Not ten minutes ago, my son had been here in this room with me, and now I’d just seen his baby sibling or stepsibling. Guilt knotted my stomach. Sooner or later, Ryan was going to find out about this situation.

Isaac ran a hand up and down my back. “Something wrong?”

“I need to tell him.”

“What?”

“About the baby. Carmen.” I looked at Isaac. “I need to tell Ryan. Sooner than later.”

“You sure you want to tell him now?”

I nodded. “If we were doing a paternity test before the baby came, I’d say we could wait until the results came back. But since we’re not, I need to tell him.” I looked at Isaac. “How the hell do I tell him this?”

“You could tell him the truth.”

“Yeah, but how much?” I sighed. “I mean, what teenager wants to even think about his parents having sex, let alone having a threesome?”

“Just tell him it was…unexpected.”

“He’ll figure out what that means.”

Isaac shrugged. “He doesn’t need the details. Any kid’s going to know what it means when they find out a parent is expecting a baby.”

“Yeah, but I haven’t had a relationship with a woman since he was in grade school,” I said. “He’s used to seeing his mom dating men, so when she was pregnant the last two times, it wasn’t exactly something he had to try to work out, you know?” I ran a hand through my hair and exhaled. “And with all the times we’ve had Carmen over to hang out, I don’t want to give him a reason to speculate on why she’s been hanging out.”

“Don.” He put his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eye. “I don’t think he’s going to give it that much thought. You’re his dad. I’m his stepdad. He doesn’t want to know.”

I chewed the inside of my cheek. “I just don’t want to scar him for life, you know?”

Isaac nodded. “I understand. But you don’t have to go into detail, and I highly doubt he’ll let his mind wander anywhere near that direction before he deliberately starts thinking about cars and baseball.”

I laughed. “Good point.”

“Do you want me to stay when you talk to him?” Isaac asked.

“You don’t mind?”

He shook his head. “Of course not.”

“Thank you.”

As he leaned in to kiss me, he said, “Any time.”

The following evening, Ryan had to work for a couple of hours, then came home and disappeared downstairs to—if he thought he had a shot at taking the car this weekend—work on homework. Isaac and I left him alone for a little while so he could get some work done.

Around nine, we went downstairs to Ryan’s bedroom. The door was closed. Steeling myself against adolescent attitude and probably some righteous anger, I tapped my knuckle on the door.

“It isn’t locked,” came the terse answer.

To Isaac, I whispered, “Wasn’t there a time when he didn’t have an attitude?”

“He’s your son, Don. He’s always had an attitude.”

I laughed and pushed the door open.

Ryan reclined on his bed with his laptop across his knees. “What’s up?”

“I want to talk to you.”

He eyed me warily. “What about?”

“You’re not in trouble. I just want to talk.” I glanced at Isaac. “
We
want to talk.”

My son put his computer aside. “Uh, okay.”

I took a seat in the chair at Ryan’s desk. Isaac stood beside me.

“Listen,” I said. “I’m really not sure how to say this, so…”

“You and Isaac aren’t splitting up, are you?” There was a note of fear in his voice that cut to the bone.

“No, no, we’re not,” I said. “Of course not.” Isaac put his hand on my shoulder, and I laid mine on top of his.

“Okay, good.” Ryan glanced at Isaac, releasing a relieved breath. Then he looked at me again. “So, what’s up?”

I moistened my lips. “Uh, well. It involves Carmen. She’s…” My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, but after a moment, I finally managed, “She’s pregnant.”

“Really? I thought her and that dickwad split.”

“They did. The thing is…” I closed my eyes and exhaled. Finally, I looked at him. “I’m just going to make this straight to the point, so—”

“Dad, is this
your
kid?” He stared at me, wide-eyed.

I glanced up at Isaac for a nod of reassurance, and when he gave it, I faced my son again. “Well, it—”

“You knocked Carmen up?” Ryan shook his head. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Ryan, it’s—”

“Tell me this is some sort of surrogate thing that involved doctors and a petri dish.”

Oh, that would’ve made this so much less awkward, but I couldn’t lie to him. Forcing myself to look him in the eye, I said, “No. It wasn’t.”

He stared at me, and I couldn’t decide if he wanted me to elaborate or if he was afraid I would.

“Look,” I said. “The details aren’t important. We’re—”

“You fucked Carmen?” He looked at Isaac. “And this doesn’t piss you off at all?”

Isaac shifted behind me. “No, it doesn’t.”

Ryan furrowed his brow, eyes darting back and forth between us. “So, what? Was this something you guys planned?”

I hesitated. “Well, no, it wasn’t. It was…”

“Unexpected,” Isaac said.

“Yeah,” I said quietly. “Unexpected.”

Ryan glared at us. “So you’ve been lecturing me all this time and being strict with me, but you’ve been out doing the same goddamned thing?” He wrinkled his nose in disgust. “First, Mom’s a total whore. Now you’re doing this? And you both expect me to be some kind of fucking saint?” His eyes narrowed a little more. “Is this why you suddenly decided you’d help me buy a car? Trying to soften the—”

“Ryan,” I growled. “Would you just listen?”

“No. Maybe you should try listening to your own advice.” With that, he got up off the bed and stormed out. I stood, opening my mouth to call after him, but Isaac’s hand on my arm stopped me.

“Let him go,” he said. “Just give him some time to get his head around it.”

I relaxed, easing back into the chair. I rested my elbows on my knees and rubbed my forehead with one hand. “Fuck, Isaac, this is…”

“I know.” He gently squeezed my shoulders. “It’s overwhelming for you, and it’s a lot for him to take in. Just give him a little time.”

“Fuck, I can’t win,” I said. “He wants me to talk to him and be honest, but now that I have…” I gestured at the vacant doorway.

“This isn’t exactly discussing college or the weather, Don,” Isaac said softly. “This is a pretty big bomb to drop on him.”

“I know. And I hadn’t intended to drop it quite like that. Guess he beat me to the punch.”

He kneaded my shoulders. “He’ll come around.”

I looked up at him. “Do you think I did the right thing? By telling him?”

Isaac moistened his lips. “He was going to find out sooner or later. This way he has more time to adjust before the baby gets here. I don’t think there was any easy way to approach this subject that didn’t involve lying to him about a surrogacy or something like that.”

I said nothing.

Isaac leaned over the back of the chair and wrapped his arms around me. “It’s going to take a while for a lot of the dust to settle, but it will.” He kissed my cheek. “He’ll be all right, and so will you.”

Chapter Nineteen

Carmen

“Ready for this?” Don asked as I slid into the passenger seat.

“Yeah, right,” I muttered. “Dinner at my parents’ is bad enough. This is going to
suck
.”

“I don’t doubt it.” He leaned across the console and kissed me. “But I’ll be there with you. You want to leave, just say the word.”

“Easier said than done, believe me.”

He grimaced and moved back into the driver’s seat. “Believe me, I know.”

“Isaac said your dad didn’t take it well.” I looked at him. “What happened?”

Don pursed his lips. He shifted gears and pulled out of the parking lot, and once we were on the road, he took a deep breath. “Long story short, he decided bringing a baby into my ‘situation’”—he raised one hand to make air quotes—“was even more immoral than living with Isaac in the first place. And then he informed me that if this was the kind of parent I am, then my son would have been better off with his mother from day one.”

My jaw dropped. “Are you serious?”

He nodded.

“Sorry to hear it,” I said. “Your dad really is an asshole, you know that?”