Wicked Sunset (Sunset Vampire Series, Book 4) (10 page)

I frowned.

Is there a psychologist in the house?

“This is about your recent job loss,” she said.

I felt bewildered as I stared back at her.

Chapter 8

Katrina

The look on Caleb’s face was nearly alarming to me.

On occasion, my intuition has failed me, but most of the time it has been rock-solid accurate.

Like right now.

At first, he sat stunned; almost statue-like. Then he rubbed at his forehead with a pained expression, and I knew that my revelation regarding his recent behavior had been spot-on.

“We’ve been home for a couple of weeks and you haven’t even made a concerted attempt to clean out your office at the college,” I said.

“They gave me all summer to do that. I’ll do it soon,” he said glumly.

“You know full well, my love, they’re not likely to change their minds about your layoff,” I said, though I took absolutely no pleasure in saying it.

He needs to accept the stark truth.

“Shit,” he said. “I know that.”

I wanted more than anything to hold in my tightly arms and kiss him. But that’s not what he needed at that moment.

Unfortunately, tough love often hurt the giver as much as the receiver.

Besides, he needs to be the one to make the next move.

We sat in silence for a time, and I inspected my surroundings while sipping my drink.

Finally, he said, “I feel…discarded.”

My head whipped around to stare at him as he looked at me with a weary expression. My heart sank, wondering what he was referring to.

“Discarded,” I said.

“Yeah, being let go from the college felt like being casually discarded,” he said. “Like my role as a professor was somehow optional. We’re a college, for God’s sake.”

The relief that coursed through me was palpable.

For a moment, I thought he was referring to how I’d made him feel.

“That’s a completely understandable emotion, Caleb,” I assured him. “But you’re not worthless because of what happened. And you’re certainly no less of a man because of it, either. As I recall, you were more than enough man for me last night.”

He offered a wan smile.

I reached out to grasp his hand in mine and gently squeezed it. Then I lightly caressed my thumb across his skin.

“There’s no way I could have anything less than the utmost respect for all you’ve accomplished in your life,” I said. “You should feel very proud of all of the crap you’ve overcome. I’ll do anything I can to support you and help your dreams come true, including another teaching position if that’s what you want.”

He nodded. “I appreciate that,” he whispered in a tight voice.

“And I’m so sorry if I overreacted earlier today, or humiliated you in any way,” I said.

“
If
?” he asked.

I stifled a sigh.

“Fair enough,” I said. “But you didn’t exactly give me time to de-escalate the situation, either.”

“I-I just needed to leave,” he said.

I detected an elevation in his pulse and his pupils dilated slightly.

Tension. There’s something else he’s not telling me.

I pondered how to best broach the topic.

“You do have a maddening tendency for flight when you’re upset with me,” I said. “It worries me.”

He looked up at me with a curious expression. Then his lips pressed together in a fine line. “And you have a tendency to pursue me before I can sort my thoughts.”

“It’s been hours since our spat,” I said.

“Spat?” he asked.

Touché, I suppose.

I stalled for time by sipping my drink, which I had to admit, was tasty.

“We’ve argued before, but this time it was different,” I said.

He rubbed one hand across his forehead.

“Was it only my overreaction?” I asked.

His jaw tensed as he raised his hand and signaled to a server for another beer.

He’s so not driving home tonight.

“Look, it’s moot,” he said. “What’s done is done. I’d rather not dwell on it. In fact, I’m already beyond it.”

His response only made me insatiably curious. And I didn’t have any intention of ‘letting it go’ until I understood it myself.

“No, you’re not,” I said.

He has a self-destructive tendency to repress his emotions and then later turn them inward on himself.

Risking another explosive reaction on his part, I stared at him with my best impassive expression, which, in the past, has normally done the trick.

Ellie delivered a fresh beer to him and then looked at me curiously. I nodded my head and she departed with the empty glass.

As he took a sip of beer, his eyes caught mine and widened. I continued projecting my thoughts.

I’m waiting…

“What?” he asked.

I continued staring at him, mentally nailing him in place before me.

“I can’t go there,” he insisted, visibly uncomfortable.

What the hell happened that he’s so reluctant to talk about?

The music pounded around us, so I wasn’t concerned about anyone overhearing our conversation. Still, I scooted my chair closer, my eyes never leaving his the entire time.

I slowly leaned forward until my face hovered before his; deliberately invading his personal space.

To his credit, he didn’t move an inch.

“You no longer trust me,” I said.

“W-What?” he stammered. “Yes, I mean, no. Dammit, of course I
trust
you.”

I arched one of my eyebrows imperiously.

I’m no amateur at this game.

He swallowed, and I detected his body’s mounting tension. His breathing increased and his eyes dilated again, and I was suddenly very concerned with what he might reveal.

Whatever it is, I’ll be supportive. I’m not a completely cruel, heartless bitch after all. At least, not usually.

And, of course, I love him.

His face flushed. “The way your treated me earlier—”

He frowned.

“I felt so angry and embarrassed,” he whispered.

Wait, he said something about that earlier.

“And I resented you so much,” he said. “I didn’t want to even be around you anymore.”

Oh…anymore?

His revelation was certainly something that I felt we could overcome, or at least I could understand. I could temper my behavior.

Dominance was an art that I had long ago become innately skilled at.

I reached out to caress the side of his face and adopted a sympathetic expression.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, my love,” I said.

“No, it’s pretty fucked up, actually,” he said.

His strong language surprised me, but perhaps it spoke to the conflict that he’d been wrestling with.

“You can’t treat me that way,” he said, his words pouring from him like a floodgate. “I can’t go there again. It’s just too much…way over the top for me. It was just too demeaning; too cold.”

Then he stopped but his eyes still brimmed with emotion.

“It’s all right. I understand, my love,” I said, gently patting his hand. “It was a harsh mistake on my part, more so given the abuse you endured as a child.”

He merely nodded, visibly shaken.

A fresh wave of intense guilt hit me.

Shit.

He must’ve felt like I was an abuser from his past.

Once again, I was happy I’d killed the son-of-a-bitch, abusive drunk-of-a-father of his. Caleb might not have lived to see adulthood at the hands of that bastard if I hadn’t intervened.

Enough of the past; move forward. He needs me now.

“I was wrong to mistreat you,” I said. “It won’t happen like that again. I promise.”

He appeared relieved, yet I still sensed an underlying sense of anxiety in him.

“There’s something else?” I asked.

“You know I accept how you are, don’t you?” he asked. “I accept that you’re an assertive woman. I mean, it’s your alpha vampire nature, right?”

I nodded.

Then something else occurred to me. “But it’s more than that, isn’t it? You like it, don’t you?”

I heard his pulse racing, even above the music blaring around us.

His eyes narrowed. “Sometimes.”

I reached up to grasp his chin between my thumb and forefinger and nailed him with another penetrating, impassive look, my face only inches from his.

“You not only like it, you want it from me,” I said.

His facial muscles visibly tightened. “Yes. Maybe,” he said. “I don’t know.”

Better. Much better.

“To both, wanting and liking it,” I said.

“Usually,” he said in a wistful tone.

I smiled knowingly at him.

I know you better than you think, my love. I’ve studied your reactions. I’ve heard your pulse race and felt your desire rise on those occasions. I’ve seen your pupils dilate and heard your breath quicken.

You can try fooling yourself, but you can’t fool me. I know what to give you…what you expect from me.

I’m more than prepared to give it to you.

“What I do to you…it’s erotic for you. It arouses you,” I said.

“Yes,” he said intently, heat and passion lacing his voice.

I love this. He makes my heart sing.

Intimate recesses of my body ached for him. My hunger for his blood reached a crescendo that raged through me.

“You
need
this from me,” I said. “You
need
me to handle you in this special way.”

I need to handle you in this way, so very badly, in fact. The control and power; neither of which I’ll relinquish to anyone.

He nodded, and his eyes still blazed with a kind of fervor that was delicious to drink in.

“Yes,” he said.

Such a simple response; and yet, so satisfying to hear.

“Would it surprise you to know that I need to treat you this way? That I want to,” I said. “It’s exhilarating.”

His pupils dilated and his breath caught.

Oh, yes, he understands.

“Why?”

His question intrigued me.

“You spark such strong feelings and hungers within me, Caleb,” I said. “All the men who I’ve attempted relationships with in the past were so disappointing. They betrayed me; tried to manipulate me for their own designs. Over time, their greed was tiresome. Each time, they grew even worse; shallow and too risky to endure. Ultimately, my only satisfaction was the blood I drained from them.

His eyes widened.

“But then you came along; quite unexpectedly, in truth. Your innocence and earnestness was so honest and unexpected; not self-serving or manipulative, so unlike the others. Instead of setting your sights on what you could take, you focused on what you could
give
to me; your trust, your love, your blood, your body. You were the polar opposite of all the other men who came before you.”

Except Samuel. But then, I was a human. Life was so different then.

Yet, that wasn’t entirely true, either.

No…Caleb’s more like Samuel. The two of them weren’t all that different, really.

In fact, my feelings for them feel so familiar.

And satisfying.

His eyes gazed back at me almost worshipfully.

“You needed so much from me, my love, and yet you asked for nothing. You simply gave, wholly and unconditionally, with complete abandon, even to your own detriment and well-being,” I said. “You’re too embarrassed or self-conscious to demand anything of anyone. This might surprise you, but I’m not going to allow any of your needs to go unmet; especially the ones you’re too shy to ask of me.

“I’m starting to figure you out, my love,” I said. “It’s taken some time, but I’m there. And tonight, this very moment, I know what you need, though even now you’re too afraid to ask for it.”

My eyes burned with desire for him; not only to meet his needs, but to compel him to accept them.

“I’m the woman you need,” I said. “Regardless of your self-imposed silence, I’m reading your body like a roadmap and drawing my conclusions from the look in your eyes. You’ll revel in my accomplishment. You have no idea how prepared I am to be the woman you need. I’ll shock and amaze you.”

His breathing grew ragged, and his pulse raced, even over the loud music around us.

Then, a look of shame crossed his features, which completely surprised me.

Oh, no, you don’t. I want this more than you now.

“Listen to me, Caleb. Don’t fear what you want from me. Your needs are nothing to be ashamed of. You fulfill my needs in the same way that I complete yours,” I said. “We
need
each other.”

I’ve never admitted that to anyone before.

My own forthrightness surprised me.

I remained silent, allowing the impact of my words to settle into his mind.

His eyes met mine with something close to awe in them.

He understands me even better now, doesn’t he?