Wifey (4 page)

“Are you behind?”

“Yeah.”

“On what?” I asked as I took a seat beside her.

“My car payment. My Visa. And my student loans.”

“How much you need?”

“About six large.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it for you.”

“Girl, thanks. I’mma pay you back when my next financial aid check come.”

“Damn that financial aid. Your butt needs a job.”

“I know. But I can’t work with the school schedule and sorority meetings I got this semester.”

“Why don’t you come down to my shop a few days a week? We could use another shampoo person.”

“How much you gon’ pay me?”

“How much will you need?”

“Pay me five large a week and I’ll do it.”

“Shit, you must be on drugs if you think I’m gon’ give you that type of dough to come be my assistant a few days a week.”

“Okay, how about three large?”

“How about two?”

“Alright. That’s cool,” Nikki agreed.

She and I continued chatting until an hour and a half passed and my cell phone started ringing.

“Hello,” I said.

“Where you at?” Ricky sounded like he was uptight about something.

“Nikki’s house. Why?”

“Have you been in my shoe box behind the refrigerator?”

“Nah. I didn’t even know you had a shoe box hidden back there.”

“Yeah. A’ight!” Ricky replied, as if he wasn’t at all convinced.

“Are you at the house now?” I asked him.

“Yeah, I’m at the house. Why?”

“Are you getting ready to go back out?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“‘Cause, I’m hungry and I’m ready to go out to eat. That’s why!”

“Well, if you hungry now, then won’t you and Nikki go out and get something to eat?”

“Yeah, whatever!” I told him and then I ended the conversation. I threw my phone back into my handbag and looked back in Nikki’s direction.

“And what did he want this time?” she asked me.

“He just wanted to know had I been in his shoe box he had stashed behind the refrigerator.”

“Is he missing something?”

“Yeah.”

“What was in it?”

“A whole bunch of money.”

“Money?” Nikki shouted in a loud chuckle. “Oh yeah, your ass been in it!” She continued to laugh.

“Yep, I sho’ have. And if he don’t hurry up and hide it in another spot, I’mma hit it again.”

“How much he be having in it?”

“I never had a chance to count it. But, it looked like it could be anywhere from forty to fifty Gs.”

“Girl, you’ve got to be kidding!”

“No, I’m not. And that’s just his play money. That’s why I be tearing his fucking head off every chance I get. And you know what’s so crazy?”

“What?”

“I don’t even feel bad after I do it. And you wanna know why?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Because of all the shit he’s put me through. I just feel like he owes me whatever I decide to take from him.”

“Do you think he know you be stealing from him?”

“He might. And he may even hint around about it. But he know I would straight flip out on his ass if he tried to accuse me of anything. So, you know he’ll just throw it out there and let me know he knows. But I don’t be paying his ass no mind.”

“Kira, you are off the chain!” Nikki told me.

“Fuck him! I mean, he don’t give a damn about me! So, I’m just gon’ do me. And if it means to plan for a rainy day with his dough, then that’s how it’s gon’ be!”

“So, you’re planning to leave Ricky?”

“Yeah. One day.”

“Girl, you ain’t going nowhere.”

“You ain’t gotta believe me. But, you’ll see.” I switched the topic from my dysfunctional marriage. “Wanna go and get something to eat?” I continued.

“Go where?”

“I don’t care. Just as long as you make up your mind in the next two minutes.”

“Okay. Well, come on. We can decide that in the car.”

“Well, let’s go.”

Nikki and I decided to go to the Outback Steak House. We were in the mood to grill our own steaks but, more than that, that place had good mixed drinks. As we were having dinner, a few local hustlers came through with either their girlfriends or a trick they were planning on banging after her belly was full. One guy in particular, who went by the name Gerald, came through with this chick named, Velda. Gerald was a known weed man. He was about thirty-two or thirty-three, so, he’d been in the game for a minute. He had about a dozen weed spots all around Norfolk and P-town, so everybody knew that his money was long. And everybody and their mama was trying to fuck him. That alone made Gerald think he was the man. Velda was very pretty and a known booster. She could steal anything of value. I remember her coming into my salon about a month ago, trying to sell me and Sunshine these two gorgeous Hèrmes pink diamond watches she had just picked up. Now I can’t tell you how the hell she was able to pull that one off, but she did.

Seeing these two crooks together was like seeing Bonnie and Clyde in a new day and time. I gave her credit that night because she was definitely rocking that B. Michael top with the slacks to match. I waved at the both of them when they walked by our table.

On my way out, I ran into this nigga I used to fuck with, named Quincy. He rolled up in a silver 2005 seven series BMW with D.C. tags, sitting on twenty-two inch chrome rims, with some chick I ain’t seen around here before. Knowing him, she was probably from Baltimore, MD or the DC area. The way she was dressed put her in a class with the chicks who went to Howard University. Quincy looked like he had lost a few pounds from when he and I used to kick it back in the day. He must’ve tightened his joint up while he did that ten-year bid at the fed spot in Petersburg. He’d been home for about a year now. And just like that, this nigga was right back on his feet, rocking a hot Sean John sweatsuit and a set of jewels he must’ve copped from a custom diamond jeweler.

“What’s up?” Quincy said as he approached me and Nikki, with his chick on his side.

“What’s up wit’ you?” I asked.

“Nuttin’. Just chilling!”

“Well, are you gon’ introduce your friend?”

“Oh yeah. This is my girl, C-c-chelsea,” he stuttered.

“Hi, Chelsea,” I said.

“Hi,” she replied.

“I’m Kira and this is my cousin, Nikki.”

“Nice to meet you guys,” she continued.

“Same here,” I told her. “So, how you been doing?” I focused my attention back on Quincy.

Before he answered me, he ushered Chelsea into the restaurant to get them a table.

“I’m doing a’ight. How ‘boutcha self?” he finally responded.

“I’m okay.”

“How’s married life treating you?”

“It ain’t no different from having a boyfriend, because, I’ve still gotta deal wit’ the hoes.”

Quincy laughed at my comment. “You ain’t changed one bit,” he said.

“Yes, I have.”

“Had any kids yet?”

“Nope.”

“You still do hair?”

“Yeah. I own a salon off Newtown Road.”

“What’s the name of it?”

“Millennium Styles.”

“Can I come by there and holla at you sometimes?”

“Nah. That wouldn’t be a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“‘Cause for one, I ain’t trying to let you run into Ricky. And two, the chicks who work in my shop talk too much as it is. Which is why I don’t need no mo’ drama!”

“Well, can I call you sometime?”

“Why? I mean, what in the hell could we possibly talk about?”

“Us.”

“Nigga, you ain’t changed a bit.”

“Yeah, I have.”

“In what way?” I asked him.

“Well, I got a little mo’ dough to spread around. And now, I eat pussy.”

Hearing Quincy tell me he ate pussy nearly blew my damn mind. Me and Nikki’s mouths flew wide open. I laughed it off and said, “Too bad you ain’t never got the chance to lick on mine.”

“It ain’t never too late.”

“Oh trust me, it’s way too late!” I told him, as I stepped backwards. “You better save that tongue of yours for Ms. Thang in there.” I pointed in the direction of the restaurant.

“So, it’s like that?”

“Quincy, you know it’s been like that since the day I decided I ain’t want to play your games no mo’!”

“You know I still love you!”

“Yeah, right,” I told him, blowing him off, as I started walking in the direction of my car.

I walked all the way to my car in disbelief after my encounter with Quincy.

“That nigga ain’t gon’ ever change,” I told Nikki after I started up the ignition.

“When were you going out with him? ‘Cause, I don’t remember him,” Nikki inquired.

“We weren’t together long, that’s why.”

“Where you meet him at?”

“I met his ass at the Casablanca Night Club in Norfolk, back in ’89. And he was a trip back then.”

“What you mean, he was a trip?”

“Well, see, the thing about him was, he had plenty of dough, but he couldn’t dress for the life of him. And the hoes knew it. I mean, they were on him like flies on shit. As a matter of fact, the night I met him, he had some chick he was fucking wit’, there wit’ him.”

“For real?”

“Girl, this fool was straight bugging out. Buying everybody I was wit’ drinks and shit. And the whole time, he acted like she wasn’t even there.”

“It couldn’t have been me!”

“Shit, me either!”

“So, how ya’ll hook up?”

“Well, after the club, he got one of his peoples to give me his number. I called him the next day and we met up at the Applebee’s on Virginia Beach Boulevard. We had some drinks and ordered some food.”

“How long after that day did you fuck him?”

“It took me about two weeks before I let him hit it.”

“So, why ya’ll stopped messing around?”

“Well, because he couldn’t keep his butt still. He was always back home in D.C. And we never really got to spend together. And then on top of that, he had too many hoes for me. Plus, he had too much shit wit’ him.”

“What you mean?”

“Well, when we used to go out in public together, he would never want us to hang out in certain places like the Hampton Coliseum Mall or any of the IHOPs.”

“Did he say why?”

“Yeah, he said he just had some bad experiences in those places. But I ain’t believe that shit! I knew he was trying to keep us from bumping into one of his other hoes. So, to get away from all his drama, I told him to carry his ass!”

“I would’ve done the same thing,” Nikki told me.

Our conversation about Quincy came to an end when I reached Nikki’s apartment. She was ready to turn in. I told her I would holla at her in the a.m. She told me that was cool and sent me on my way.

$$$ The Delivery $$$

It was a Monday morning, but it felt like a Sunday for me since I ain’t have to go to the shop that day. I got up about nine-thirty, so I could watch some of my favorite Court TV shows. I fixed myself a bowl of Fruity Pebbles and tore ‘em up. Being as though Ricky didn’t come in the house last night until after I fell asleep, the first I heard of his voice was around noon time. And that’s because his cell phone started ringing. After hearing him scream through the phone for about ten minutes, I finally figured out he was talking to Remo. And from Ricky’s tone, I figured Remo either screwed up a delivery or the money count was off, because Ricky was chewing his ass out.

“That nigga can’t do shit right!” Ricky yelled as he slammed his cell phone down onto the coffee table.

“What happened now?” I asked him.

“Remo is forever fucking up.”

“What he do?”

“Yo, this nigga gots to be the dumbest nigga I know.”

“What he do?” Again, I asked.

“He fucked up my delivery.”

“How he do that?”

“He was supposed to get his girl Pam to drop off some work to three of my spots early this morning, out P-Town. But, since he didn’t go to the crib last night, she told him she wasn’t doing shit.”

“Well, tell ’em to get the chick he was chilling wit’ to do it.”

“For real. Right now, at this moment, I don’t give a fuck who does it. Just as long as it gets done.”

“Make Remo do it.”

“Hell nah! Remo too hot! I can’t risk losing two bricks behind his ass.”

“So, what you gon’ do?”

“I’m trying to figure that out.”

“Who usually does it?”

“Damn, what is this? Twenty questions?” Ricky snapped at me.

“Well, I was just trying to help,” I yelled back.

“Well, help me by finding somebody to run this food over to my spots.”

“How much you paying?”

“One yard for each drop off.”

“So, that’s three hundred,” I said, holding up three fingers.

“Why, you know somebody?” Ricky asked, desperately.

“I might.”

“Well, find out. Shit, call ’em!”

“But wait. Before I call her, she gon’ want to know when you want this done.”

“Tell her, now.”

“She gon’ wanna know how she gon’ have to carry it, too.”

“Wait, hold up! Who you getting ready to call?”

“I’mma call Nikki.”

“Well, look Kira, just see if she gon’ do it first. I’ll get into all that wit’ her when I see her.”

Trying to be a trooper and help my husband hold his shit down, I got on my cell phone and called Nikki. I briefly told her about the job and how much she could get from doing it. She agreed to do it, so I told her to come by my crib a.s.a.p. She arrived about thirty-five minutes after I hung up the phone with her. This dude name Shampoo pulled up about five minutes after Nikki did. Ricky had Shampoo drop off the tools Nikki needed to successfully complete the job. Shampoo dropped a large black duffle bag onto the coffee table and headed back out the front door.

“I gotta carry all that?” I heard Nikki ask Ricky.

“Nah. What you got to carry ain’t this big.”

“So, what’s all this?” Nikki wanted to know.

Ricky unzipped the duffle bag and pulled out all the stuff in it.

“What’s all that stuff?”

“This is the stuff you gon’ use,” Ricky told Nikki.

I took a seat in the dining room, which was only a couple of feet away from my living room, and watched Ricky put his plan to work.

Nikki was told she was gonna wear the red pizza delivery T-shirt and cap. Ricky also told her she was gonna drive her car with the delivery sign bolted down on the roof of her car. And the three packages she was going to deliver would be duct-taped down inside the three pizza boxes.