Wild Card (45 page)

I was supposed to be pumping him for knowledge about the pack, but this personal stuff was too interesting to stop while he was answering.

“What about while you’re in wolf form? What does it feel like?”

“Dreamlike. Different things are vivid and important when you’re wolf; like a dream, they make sense to you while you dream. It’s all very immediate.”

“Like a child? The past and the future are blurry and the present is very focused?”

“Exactly! Is this something from the Athanate side you can describe for me?”

The eagerness in his voice was kinda sweet. He was a small, academic sort of guy who’d wandered by accident into a pack full of jocks. He said the crucial characteristic of the Were was enthusiasm, and I guessed that pursuit of knowledge was where he found an outlet for his.

“A little,” I said. “Remember, I haven’t progressed to full-on biting and drinking Blood. I found I feel slightly disconnected from everything, but very aware and focused. Things feel like they happen in slow motion. There isn’t any ritual about the fangs as far as I can see. At first, it was just a sort of ache in the jaw. Now there’s a definite thrill and my jaw feels different. I can only describe it as feeling loose.”

I could hear the hurried scratch of his pen on his notepad.

“An anticipation of pleasure?”

“Yeah.” With my recliner laid back, I hoped he couldn’t see me blush.

“Do other factors in your life influence the Athanate?”

This felt too close for comfort.

“Everything,” I said shortly.

“Leading to loss of control?”

Much, much too close. “It might.” I stirred uncomfortably and I guessed he saw that, but he kept on.

“Now, I understand you felt the Call, so you have progressed on the Were side even if you haven’t changed. What about the two together? How do they affect each other? Does the more established Athanate control the Were?”

“If anything, they set each other off,” I said. “But I feel I understand the Athanate more. I guess I might be more able to control that rather than the Were.”

Enough.

I pulled the recliner upright. “But I still don’t understand the
why
about wolves.”

A flicker of irritation passed over his face, followed by a rueful smile. “Well, we better feed your curiosity first, otherwise I’m not going to get you to relax at all. What do you mean?”

“Sorry, Doc. Look, the scientists at the army base had a long look at me, and they’re sure the active parts of the Athanate ‘Blood’ are proteins, linked together in strings.”

“Like prions?” he said.

Of course a doctor would know the terminology.

“Yes, in fact, that’s what they call them. Part of the reason humans haven’t discovered Athanate before is that prions have been so difficult to isolate and analyze.”

He shrugged. “It’s possible. I still don’t follow how you get from there to ‘the why about wolves’.”

“Ah. Okay, here’s the link—the instrument they designed to measure prions in my body also detects similar proteins, and it says the active parts of werewolf blood are prions as well.”

Doc Noble went still. “That is…fascinating,” he said thoughtfully.

“Bear with me. I can understand that prions in Athanate evolve, in exactly the same way humans evolved. The fittest—which means the ones that increased the chances of producing more of the same—they increased while other variants died out. So, Athanate today are the combinations of human and prion that are best at perpetuating Athanate. They keep themselves secret, because the Athanate that thought being open was a good thing were more likely to be killed by humans. And they bond with humans that provide Blood, because that’s the best way to ensure they can remain hidden—”

“I understand evolutionary theory, Amber,” he said patiently. “Even in this context. I’ll agree that the Athanate represent a form that has evolved to survive and prosper in its niche.”

“Right.” I wondered at the sense of taking his valuable time up with my half-baked theories, but I’d come this far. “Then werewolves should show some similar evolutionary benefit. But I can’t see it. And I can’t see the mechanism.”

“Werewolves have a pack structure,” he said. “Social animals succeed where solitary animals have difficulty. That applies to the paranormal as well.”

“Yeah, but why pick wolves? Why not lions? Why are there solitary werebears and weretigers? If I was a werebear I wouldn’t go rogue, so why do I go rogue if I’m a werewolf and I leave a pack?”

“That I can’t answer.”

“Even more basic. How does a prion know anything about a wolf? Or a tiger? An animal is a complex organism and very different structurally. How do the prions know what to change the host body into?”

“How it all started, I don’t know, but the wolf part of the DNA is part of the infusion, and the percentage difference between human DNA and wolf DNA is smaller than you may think. Twenty-five percent of the sequences are identical and the remainder derive differences from patterns rather than the constituents.”

Never for one moment when I dropped out of school had I thought I would need PhD level biology to understand things going on in my body.

A million questions clamored to be asked.

“What are DNA tests on a werewolf going to show? What are the FBI looking at now?” I asked. The tests that they must have done on the victims of the rogue at Wash Park would be in front of Griffith by now.

“The human DNA masks the wolf. It’s still a human. An odd human, but not so odd that it will be casually discovered. If they become suspicious and re-examine it…” He shrugged and glanced at his watch. “I can see you need some general answers before we can get into the specifics. Trust me, I look forward to working with you in the future to discover the reasons behind everything you’ve mentioned, maybe even to find improvements and synergies.” He cleared his throat. “However, my first task is to make sure that you’re around for that, and in a state where you can contribute to the process. That means I have to keep you sane and functioning. I have to understand what’s going on inside you.” He frowned. “This has been…interesting, but not enormously useful for those goals. I can’t allow this. We have a tough schedule.”

“I’m sorry, it’s like I overdosed on caffeine. Actually having someone answer questions has been different. Even if you couldn’t answer them all, it’s a start.”

He hummed. “Still, next time I must insist on quiet and relaxation.”

“I understand.”

“Tomorrow?”

“There’s a rogue to catch.”

“How well will you do trying that, if you turn rogue in the meantime?”

“Not well, but how likely—”

“Very likely. You’ve confirmed my suspicions that your Were side influences the Athanate. All you need is one episode, one small thing that sets your Were off and either you’ll be coping with it, or you’ll leave your Athanate to work it out.” He peered at me. “Is this a sensible course of action?”

“No,” I admitted.

“I will bring some suppressants,” he held up his hand at my knee-jerk reaction. “Very mild, and probably very brief in their action, given your Athanate metabolism.”

I wanted this like a hole in the head, but I’d wasted our time today. I needed him to get inside my head and help me. I nodded reluctantly.

“Good. I’ll also try some more definitive hypnotic suggestions. These will work extremely gently, and for a limited time, but they will improve the speed at which we can arrive at some actions.”

“I understand,” I said. Crap. I didn’t think I was going to get on with drugs or hypnotism, but I needed to try. I could feel the wolf stirring, but like the man said, we had a schedule to keep.

Chapter 46

I returned to a Manassah in chaos.

Jofranka’s bicycle was propped up next to the front door. All the potted plants had been moved out of the way. Inside, the chairs in the hallway were covered in coats and jackets. It was a good thing no one ever used them to sit down on. And the rest of the hallway was packed with Melissa’s CSI equipment. How the hell had it all fit in her small apartment?

I could hear Tullah and Jofranka talking to Matt and Melissa in the study. I’d let them finish and find me. Hopefully, I wouldn’t be going out again tonight. Instead, I went to the living room and found Jen lounging on the sofa with a glass of brandy.

“Sorry about the mess,” I said.

“Oh, the mess. S’okay. I have a solution.” She waved her glass in the air.

“Brandy is the solution?”

She giggled. “Shut up and pour yourself a rum. Next door is the solution.”

“How many brandies is that?”

“Why, are you going to play catch up?”

“Can’t.” I touched the TacNet headset lying around my neck.

She pouted.

I got my rum and put it, along with the TacNet system, on a small table within easy reach.

Jen leaned against me with a sigh as soon as I sat down.

“Bad day?” I said, resting my cheek against the top of her head.

“Bad day at work. Not bad now. But…”

“Hmm?”

“I have to go to New York. The PR office there has some personnel problems.”

“When?”

“Monday, early. We should be back late Tuesday.”

“Okay. I’ll need to arrange—”

“Nothing. Julie and Pia have done it already. Those women are stars.” She sat up and swiveled her legs around on the sofa. “Bian’s agreed to let a couple of her guys escort us to the airport. Tom and Paul?”

We couldn’t do better than that for an escort. Those guys were top drawer, even if I had once taken them
and
two of their buddies out singlehandedly. “Okay. Who’s going to New York?”

“Julie, of course, and Pia.”

I took a sip of rum and let it tingle over my tongue. If Julie arranged this, it would all make sense and be safe. I just had to keep asking questions to confirm that.

“Pia’s riding shotgun with Julie?”

“Ah, no. Pia’s coming to work. Julie’s providing security on the plane and then she contacted an old Ops 4-10 colleague in New York who does close protection. There’ll be a team waiting for us.”

Okay, I guessed I could let go of the security issue.

“Pia’s going there to work?”

“Well, I couldn’t have them sitting idly in my office. Neither of them have jobs, and—”

“Wait!
Them
?”

“Yes.” Jen was enjoying herself. “The boy wonder is the best thing that’s ever happened to my finance department. He not only understands all their jargon better than they do themselves, he understands it well enough to give it back to me in plain English.”

“David?”

“Of course David! I needed a new Chief Financial Officer, after I fired Bernard. And somehow I can’t see David stabbing me in the back like Bernard did.”

I had always said that David was one of the smartest men I knew, and he’d proven himself to others. Why not Jen? It wasn’t that I was disputing it, more that it all seemed so sudden.

“And Pia?”

“My new Human Resources Director.” She laughed and ran her fingers back through her hair. “You have to admit, it’s a hell of a benefit to have an Athanate running my HR. Let’s see those bastards in New York try lying to her.”

I felt as if the ship had left without me. It was ridiculous to say I should be controlling all these things, and yet it felt as if I’d lost control of them now.

“Honey, it just makes sense at the moment,” Jen said. “If it doesn’t at some point in the future, then we change it.”

“And why is next door the solution?”

“Overflow. The neighbors have been trying to sell that place and it’s a steal.”

“But you shouldn’t have to fix everything for me…”

“It isn’t me fixing things for you. It’s all of us fixing things for all of us. Each doing what we’re good at.” She tucked her legs underneath her and leaned toward me with the over-serious look of one too many brandies before dinner. “Like you charging in and rescuing me at Longmont.”

“Hold on, Jen. You can’t use that for justification for all the things you’re trying to do: paying for the truck that was destroyed, employing David and Pia, buying a house next door.” The house next door was a freaking mansion, for heaven’s sake. This was getting out of control.

“Why not? I’m employing David and Pia to do jobs that need doing, so leave them out of it. And you, for that matter. You’re still my firm’s security consultant. Best man for the job.” She giggled.

“Well, the rest of it.”

“But I want to.”

“That’s no reason—”

“It is. It’s a very good reason. Honey, everyone wants to be the heroine. You did that at Longmont—”

“You can’t count that. You were kidnapped to get at me, so it was my fault, all of what happened. And that sort of mission is what I was trained for; the kind of unpleasant thing I have an aptitude for. Like I said before, I’m not a nice person.”

She snorted. “Well, I have an aptitude for making money. That doesn’t make me a nice person either. But it does give me what I need to make a difference now.” She got up on her knees and pushed me back on the sofa so she could loom over me. “You were my heroine. Why won’t you let me be yours?”

I swallowed. Between the tightness in my chest and the Athanate zing she was giving me, I had difficulty speaking. “You are already,” I managed to say.

“Good. That’s settled then,” she purred and stretched, putting her empty glass down on the table.

Little Athanate pulses were throbbing along my jaw and straight down into my belly.

“Whoa, Jen.”

“Hmm?”

“I’m getting fang warnings.”

“And you promised this Diana person you’d wait. I know.” She settled back on her heels with a sigh and some of the pressure eased on me.

“It’s not just that. It could be dangerous.”

“Nothing you’d do would harm me. I just know.”

No, she thought she knew. Our hearts had fallen into sync as soon as I sat down. We did it unconsciously now. The tentative touch of eukori followed just as naturally, without effort.

“I couldn’t bear it if I did hurt you,” I said.

I could feel that was only bittersweet to her.

“What?” I asked.