Wild Man Creek (17 page)

“Sure,” she said, but the very thought made her so sad. “When?”

“Right away, I guess. I’m told they drove up from the Bay Area a couple of weeks ago and saw the outside and they’re ready to do business if the inside suits them.”

“Just let me know,” she said with a shrug. “I’ll make sure I’m dressed and the dishes are done.”

He made a sad face himself. “If you don’t mind me asking, where will you go?”

“Oh, I have options. In fact, I can have my old job back anytime I want it. I’m just not convinced I want it.” She laughed. “Harry, my boss, told me to take a break and relax. I’m not sure I’m done relaxing just yet. That whole corporate thing—it just doesn’t appeal like it used to.”

“I suppose not,” Jack said. “I came up here after twenty
in the Marines and all I brought were my rifles, fishing gear, clothes and camping equipment. And I never left. I was raised in Sacramento, no small town. But I’m just not a city boy, after all.”

“Do you have to make an appointment with that couple right away?” Jill asked.

“I can’t wait too long, Jillian,” he said. “If this was my house, I’d do as I please. But it’s not really my house. I have to do the right thing.”

“Would it kill you to give me a day or two to think about what I might do next? Where I might go? Because there’s a lot to do if I move—not the least of which is decide where.”

“Wouldn’t even make me flinch,” he said. “It’s the least I can do. You’ve taken real good care of the place for me and I appreciate it. Just call me soon as you can, will you?”

“Of course,” she said. “I totally understand. I just haven’t thought about my next home or job yet. I need to do that, don’t I?”

“I guess so,” he said. He shook his head. “Denny would work this little property forever, I think.”

She had to laugh. It was huge! Ten acres, a couple of greenhouses and an enormous garden. A house with over four thousand square feet. She glanced up to the roof, feeling a little sentimental. She’d never again have another widow’s walk.

She gave his arm a pat. “I’ll call you tomorrow, Jack. Thanks for the heads-up.”

J
illian had gone back to her outdoor garden after Jack left. Kneeling, weeding, aerating roots, pulling a few root vegetables to check their progress, all she could do was think about the fact that this experience, her time in this house and on this land, was no longer indefinite. Even if this Bay Area couple didn’t make the right offer on the property, someone else would. She wasn’t the only person in the world who would find the fertile beauty of the land and the incredible refurbished space in that big old house irresistible.

She thought the most logical thing for her to do would be to return to San Jose in the fall and work for BSS again; it was work she understood, after all. Regardless of all Harry’s noise about how she should take on the world, start her own company now, move on to a stronger position, the only thing that felt right was the familiar. If she had to go back to corporate life, she’d go back to a company she understood.

She couldn’t be on vacation forever.

She wondered briefly if she should bite the bullet and start her next career as the owner of a B and B. That would justify staying here. With these thoughts in mind
Jill worked away for a couple hours until she heard a familiar vehicle in the drive.

Colin had brought some groceries back to the house and volunteered to make their dinner. She took him up on the offer—she didn’t feel much like cooking. In fact, she rarely felt like cooking, or cleaning, or shopping for groceries. She was the kind of woman who did those things because they had to be done, not because they were fulfilling. She was the
last
person who should ever be the owner of a bed-and-breakfast.

She puttered in the upstairs bath for longer than usual. By the time she heard Colin’s feet on the stairs, coming for her, she was standing in front of the mirror in the bedroom that held all her clothes. She wore pale yellow capris that tied below the knees, a white tank covered by a loose-weave sweater that fell off one shoulder, and three-inch heels.

He walked into the room and came up behind her, his hands going to her hips, a smile on his lips as he met her eyes in the mirror. “Interesting look,” he muttered, kissing her neck.

She turned one ankle to get a side view of the shiny black pump. “I used to wear heels to work every day. Suits, dresses with jackets, skirts and sweater sets, even dress slacks, but I always wore heels. I liked being as tall as the men. I liked looking them in the eye.”

“You liked intimidating them,” he accused.

She turned in his arms. “I was a lot more girlie, that’s for sure. Probably more enticing to the male eye than jeans or shorts, tank tops and Skechers.”

“That might be, Jilly, but there’s almost nothing you can do to make yourself sexier to me.” He slid his hands around to her butt. “You’re the sexiest gardener I’ve ever messed around with.”

“You’re not more turned on by the capris with three-inch heels?”

“You even turn me on in those flannel pj’s pants.” He grinned. “Those babies slip off real easy….”

“Jack has someone interested in the house. My party is almost over. I’m going to have to decide where I’m going, what I’m doing.”

“Haven’t you been thinking about it?” he asked. “Hasn’t your deal with Jack always been till September?”

She nodded. “I fantasized that nothing would change and he wouldn’t have a better deal than me renting here for a long time, maybe another year. Instead of thinking about where I’d go and what I’d do, I was thinking about trying out a winter crop inside shelters with smudge pots and grow lights. But… Well, it was a respite, a vacation, sort of. A break from the real world. I can’t be on vacation forever.”

He laughed at her. “No one works harder at a vacation than you, Jilly. Up before the sun, farming all day, studying plants and gardening online all night.”

“Because it’s fun,” she said. “I guess the most rational thing would be to go back to San Jose and work at BSS. I should be so grateful I’m still welcome there.”

“You don’t sound grateful, honey.”

She turned around and faced the mirror again. “I don’t know how to explain this,” she said, tipping one foot up on its toe and peering at the reflection in the mirror. “That corporate girl in the heels?” She looked over her shoulder at him. She gave her head a little shake. “I don’t feel like her anymore.”

He tightened his arms around her waist. “Who do you feel like?” he asked softly.

“I feel like a settler, like a homesteader. I feel strangely unencumbered, like a woman who never has to set an
alarm clock, like someone living off the land. Like a nature kid, but I’m not. I mean, I love organic plants because they’re a perfect challenge but I’m
not
one of those all-natural fanatics. I also love wearing synthetic blends, not hemp, and I’m not living off the land—I go to the grocery store. And I’m not unencumbered—I live in a huge, beautiful, restored Victorian with upkeep, with bills to pay. But I guess I can’t do this forever. I have to work.”

He laughed at her. “You work seven days a week. And maybe the reason you feel unencumbered is because you haven’t been under a lot of pressure. The plants and your staff have been cooperating. And maybe, just maybe, you could afford to do this for another year. Even if you have to find another plot of land to do it on. Jilly,” he said, squeezing her. “It’s okay to do what feels good, what feels right.”

“I have some money saved, but I’m only in my early thirties. If I don’t add income to the bottom line, I won’t have it for long.”

“Why don’t you think about it over dinner, honey? I bought us a roasted chicken fresh from the deli, some rice, and I tossed a salad—something I have to do until the salad in your garden is ready to pick.”

There was no clock in the bedroom so Jillian had no idea what time it was when she woke. It was pitch-black outside, but her eyes popped open. She slipped out of bed, found one of Colin’s T-shirts and slid it over her naked body. She found her furry slippers and went down the stairs to her office. She clicked on the computer and saw the hour was 2:47 a.m. She logged on and started skipping around the internet.

She was only vaguely aware of the sun coming up and
the faint aroma of fresh coffee. And then Colin put a cup beside her on the desk.

“So that’s where my shirt went,” he said, leaning down to kiss the top of her head.

She glanced at him and saw that he wore only his jeans, zipped but not buttoned, bare chest and bare feet. God, but he was a beautiful man!

“Colin!” she said excitedly. “Do you know how many organic farms and gardens there are in California?”

“A lot, I imagine,” he said, smiling.

“And lots of commercial farms that concentrate on specific items, like organic berries for specially created jams and jellies, or rare, high-end-market fruits and vegetables that are used by five-star chefs in exclusive restaurants, like the stuff I’m trying to grow—the white asparagus, baby beets, teardrop tomatoes, that sort of thing. Then there’s the general organic market—stuff that goes to stores and delis.”

“You have a bright flush on your cheeks and your eyes are very sparkly,” he said. “How long have you been up?”

“Since just after two, I think.” She stood from her desk chair. “Colin, I think I can find a way to do this for a living. Maybe even a good living. At least good enough so I can get by without going back to the corporate world.”

“You think?” he asked.

“A lot depends on the plants—their health, strength, reliability. Customers, especially commercial customers like delis, restaurants and health food stores want to order in advance of the season, and they want some assurance that the fruits and vegetables will come in on time and in the quantities required. So—I’ll have some of those answers in the fall.” She smiled. “I bet I can do this.”

“I bet you can,” he agreed. “But then, I have trouble imagining there’s anything you can’t do, if it’s something you want to do.”

It was a little more complicated than making a phone call to Jack; he had a responsibility to the trust he managed and couldn’t just do a favor for a friend. “I have to get an appraisal,” he told Jillian, “and then list the property and review the offers. I’m sorry it’s not quicker or easier.”

“I understand,” she said. “By all means, I want you to do this the right way and at the end of the day, have no regrets. It’ll all work out as it’s supposed to.”

“And if you don’t get the property?” he asked her.

“Then I guess I’ll be talking to that Realtor of yours.”

“I am sorry, Jillian. You’re doing right by that place and I’d like to see you in it permanently.”

But Jillian didn’t see this as a discouraging bit of news. She’d never been afraid to work hard for what she wanted, and right now, that ethic was coming in handy.

A week later Colin and Jillian were on the road to Chico and while they were away, Jack would be showing the house to the couple from the Bay Area.

“Births, deaths, weddings and critical injuries get a lot of attention from the Riordan family,” Colin explained to Jillian as they made the drive to Chico for the wedding. “I’m afraid that I’m the one with the reputation for being a no-show most often, for making the fastest trip, shortest stay. Aiden, Sean and Luke have always been pretty tight. Aiden is actually close to everyone and the best about keeping up family relationships.”

“And now he wants all his brothers to witness for him,” she said.

“Typical Riordan move—gather them up, make sure
everyone is front and center. I usually do what I can to resist the call—sometimes I arrive late, leave early, manage to find an excuse.”

“Why do I get the sense something has changed?” she asked him.

“Because it has. I almost met my maker. My brothers, though a huge pain in my ass, came running. I wanted to kill them all, but they were persistent and it’s probable that because they wouldn’t let me shove them away, I got the help I needed. I’m too goddamn stubborn to do it for myself, to even acknowledge what I need. Do you know they had a conference call about me? Seriously! Paddy was the first to suspect I had a problem with painkillers and he invoked the brotherhood. Aiden was the one to get personally involved—I think he was elected because he’s a doctor. And I think he put his credit card on the treatment bill. None of them will tell me if I owe anything for that. Not even Luke, and I’m pretty sure Luke would like to just shove me in a hole.”

“Come on.” She laughed. “Luke seems like a great brother.”

“When he’s in charge,” Colin said with an indulgent laugh. “He’s not that great when someone disagrees with him. He’s a diamond in the rough—apparently Shelby sees the diamond and the rest of us see the rough.”

“I so look forward to this,” she said with a laugh. “Having only had one sister growing up, I can’t imagine five rough-and-tumble boys. And it sounds like you’re all still at it. Listen, if it would be best for you to stay at your brother’s house with most of the family, I’m perfectly fine in the hotel by myself.”

He reached for her hand. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Really, it’s a family time, and I’m not—”

“You’re with me. Listen, there’s no good way to ask
this so I’m going to blurt it out and hope I don’t fumble it too badly. Is taking you to a wedding, to a family gathering—is that going to confuse what we have going on together?”

She smiled at him; a purely indulgent smile. “You mean, am I going to hope for a change in plans?” She shook her head. “Don’t mess with me on this, Colin. I’m keeping my head and my body in the present. I’m not expecting anything to change. I’m not setting up any fantasies. Spending nights in bed with you is fantasy enough….”

“You never thought about marriage? Family? All that?”

She shook her head. “In an abstract way I thought it was somewhere in my future, but there were no contenders. The first person to ever take me looking at rings was Kurt, and I was reluctant to do that—I didn’t want to mislead him.” She shrugged. “I told him that might be way in the future, but I sure wasn’t there yet. I wasn’t in love with him yet—I wasn’t ready to take it that far….” She laughed bitterly. “Isn’t it funny that I was the holdout and yet it never once occurred to me that he was playing me? I was worldly in business at such a young age, but in relationships? Not so much.”

“Inexperienced,” he said. “Which probably means you hadn’t been hurt a lot.”

“Not in relationships with men. I had my hard knocks in other ways—losing my dad then my mom, the usual problems with money, growing up poor, struggling on a shoestring in school, then the struggle of paying for Nana’s assisted living, then her death… But men? No—only a few. Not traumatic. Don’t worry, Colin—I’m not going to try anything like holding your feet to the fire for a promise you never made. I
want
you to go to Africa! I want you to find what you need, to feel whole again, to reassure
yourself that you haven’t missed anything! That feeling you had of being robbed? You’re not ever going to feel like I was the one to rob you. Think of me as your cheerleader. But could we make an agreement about that?”

“What do you need, Jilly?” he asked, squeezing her hand.

“I need you to not ask me again. It takes a certain amount of effort to keep from thinking into the future where you’re concerned. Let’s not keep reexamining that.”

“You’re right,” he said with a nod. “And I’m going to say one thing before the subject is dropped. It takes a certain amount of effort for me, too.”

It made her very happy to hear that, but she said, “It’s important for you to follow your plan, Colin. I could never be happy with some guy who spends his life feeling he made sacrifices for me, sacrifices I didn’t ask for and that you’d eventually resent. I want you to know you did everything in life that’s important to you.”

“You’re one in a million, you know that?” he asked, giving her hand a squeeze.

She lifted her chin. “Yeah, I know.”

Colin and Jillian arrived in Chico early Friday afternoon. Colin checked them into a neighborhood hotel near the country club where the wedding would take place, dropped their luggage and followed the directions they’d been given to Erin Foley’s house.