Authors: Sara Craven
Catriona shook her head, her cheeks flaming. 'I thought that you
could—perhaps—get someone to do something for us—on television. An
appeal, something like that. You know so many people . . .'
He gave a small explosive laugh.
'Television!
' he began as the kitchen door
banged open under the impact of Moira's entrance.
'I see.' Her voice dripped acid. 'Hiding away with our little prima donna.
What curious places you do choose for your assignations, Jason darling!
Aren't you coming back to the party? We're all desolate without you.'
'Hush, my sweet.' Jason took a meditative sip from his glass. 'Miss Muir is
appealing on behalf of her favourite charity.'
'How touching! You should have said something earlier, Miss Muir. We
could have passed a hat round after your song.'
The words were an insult in themselves, but the tone in which they were
uttered cut Catriona to the bone. She lifted her chin and attempted a brave
imitation of her smile.
'What a pity I didn't think of it. I'll say goodnight now, Miss Dane. Thank
you for inviting me to your party. It's been—quite an experience.'
As she walked past Moira to reach the door, the actress moved her arm
slightly and some of the liquid in the glass she was holding splashed down
the front of Catriona's white dress.
'Oh, no!' Catriona looked down at the soaking stains through a hot blur of
tears. Everything was suddenly ruined —her plea to Jason and now this
lovely dress. And she had humiliated herself for nothing. Jason's scathing
remarks revealed plainly that he had neither forgiven nor forgotten, and the
hurt that was filling her being was not entirely to do with injured pride'.
She started blindly for the living room and started when his hand descended
on her arm.
'I'll take you home,' he said.
'No!' she cried, trying to wrench herself free.
'Don't argue, and don't make a scene. You'd be out of your depth in this
company,' he said. He was steering her quickly through the laughing,
chattering groups, calling goodnight, responding to the sympathetic noises
from some of the women when they saw the state of Catriona's dress. She
went with him mechanically, waiting silently while he fetched her wrap,
damming back the tears as they waited for the lift to take them down to
ground level again.
They were in the car and driving back to the flat before Jason spoke.
'I'm sorry,' he said.
She shook her head. 'There's no need to be.'
'That crack about your charity appeal was unnecessary,' he said abruptly.
'It's the sort of language Moira understands. I forget that you're not in her
league.' He glanced down at her. 'And I'm sorry about your dress too.'
'Well, that certainly wasn't your fault,' she said haltingly.
'No?' He smiled faintly.
'And it's not my dress. It's Sally's, and that's what makes it so—awful.' She
could not quite suppress the sob in her voice.
'Young Sal won't blame you. She knows Moira too well,' he said.
She looked at him sideways under her lashes, puzzled at this rather edged
reference to the woman he was supposed to be in love with. Perhaps when
your face and body were as beautiful as Moira's, men did not mind so much
about your character, she thought. It was unlikely any way that the kindness
and consideration for the other person's feelings that Aunt Jessie had always
laid stress upon would have any place in their sort of relationship. She
swallowed painfully, hating the picture of them together that her
imagination was creating.
When they arrived back at the flat, Jason parked in the street below and
switched off the engine.
Catriona looked at him uncertainly. 'Thank you for bringing me home,' she
said formally.
'Aren't you going to invite me in?'
Her uncertainty increased. 'I—I—do you want some coffee?'
'Not particularly. I thought you wanted to talk to me about the Henderson
Trust and its problems.'
'I didn't think you were interested.'
'Don't sulk.' He reached out and tugged slightly at one silky strand of hair.
'I'm here and I'm ready to listen. Do I get invited in?'
'Yes,' she said, her heart pounding unevenly at the thought of being alone
with him again.
Upstairs in the living room, he put a light to the gas fire and then walked
across to the kitchen alcove and picked up the kettle.
'I'll cope with the coffee while you try and salvage Sal's dress,' Jason tossed
at her over his shoulder.
When she emerged from the bedroom a few minutes later, wrapped from
throat to ankle in her dressing gown, he was placing two steaming mugs on
a tray and carrying them to the settee. He lifted an inquiring eyebrow at her.
'The label said washable, so I have it soaking in cold water. I'll just have to
hope for the best,' she said. 'Please excuse the way I look.'
'But it didn't seem worth getting dressed again as you'll be going to bed soon
anyway,' he finished for her, and laughed. 'Don't jump like that, Catriona, or
you'll spill scalding coffee all over yourself.'
She knew she was blushing and sat down at the opposite end of the settee, as
far away from him as she could get, swathing the folds of her dressing gown
around her feet.
Jason leaned back, stretching his long legs to the fire and closing his eyes.
The only source of light came from a small table lamp in the corner, and the
shadowy room accentuated the planes and angles of his dark face in a
disturbing manner.
Watching him, Catriona was assailed by a wave of longing so intense that it
threatened to overwhelm her. Her eyes lingered over his face, coming to rest
at last on the firm, aggressive lines of his mouth. The memory of that mouth
and the sensations it could evoke brought a tremulousness to her own lips
and a softness to her eyes. She had never known what it was to want a man
before. Her aunt had always hinted that it was only men who had needs and
desires to be assuaged, but Catriona knew now that this was far from the
truth.
'I thought you wanted to talk.' His voice held lazy amusement and with a
shock of embarrassment she realised he was quite aware of her regard.
'What more can I tell you?'
'All the facts. I have a feeling that you've been holding out on me. So far I've
gathered that money exists to finance this—altruistic venture. All well and
good. So why isn't it doing so?'
'There simply isn't enough any more,' she said lamely.
'Is that the real reason—or is cash being deliberately withheld, perhaps
because the Trust feel there is some sort of wastage or mismanagement
going on?'
'Certainly not!' Catriona spoke indignantly. 'Mrs Henderson may not
approve of the work at the centre, but she wouldn't stoop to anything like
that.'
'Ah,' he murmured, reaching for his coffee. 'So Mrs Henderson doesn't
approve? Then why doesn't she have the Trust wound up? That seems the
obvious procedure.'
'Because she would be betraying her late husband's wishes,' Catriona said
stiffly. 'And that's part of the trouble. Mr Henderson thought the money he
had left in trust would be enough, without applying to outside sources. He
just didn't visualise what inflation was going to do.'
'Epitaph for a philanthropist,' Jason said shortly. 'So what you're all really
attempting is a rescue at the eleventh hour from the fruits of improvidence.'
Catriona looked at him defiantly. 'You could put it like that.'
'I could put it more strongly still,' he returned. 'Surely this
fellow—Milner—who rims the place could see the way things were going?'
'Andrew has other things to think about, apart from money,' Catriona
defended him.
'Lucky Andrew. Tell me, does he know you're asking me for help like this?'
'Oh, no,' she said quickly. 'It was all my own idea. I—I didn't say anything
deliberately in case you refused. But you will help—won't you?'
He swallowed the rest of his coffee and put the cup down on the table. 'I'm
sorry, Catriona, I left the magic wand in another suit.' He saw her bite her lip
and lifted his hand resignedly. 'I'm sorry—that was flip, I know, but it's also
true. There is no instant solution to this sort of problem. All I can promise is
that I'll think it over and have a word with a few people who may have ideas
of their own.' He gave her a considering look. 'But I think any kind of direct
appeal is out. What we come up with may not be entirely acceptable. Have
you thought of that?'
'All that matters is that it should work,' she said almost fiercely.
'So the end justifies the means. That's a ruthless point of view coming from
you,' he said, smiling faintly. 'Does it mean so much to you, then?'
She thought of silent, unhappy Mitch nursing her guitar with empty eyes,
and Linda with her baby and all the other people for whom the centre was
perhaps the only refuge in a hostile world.
'Yes,' she said simply. 'It means a lot.'
She thought she heard him sigh, but she must have been mistaken because
when she looked at him he was smiling again, but that unpleasant, sardonic
smile that always disturbed her.
'And in return?' he asked softly.
'I—I don't understand.' She shook her head slightly so that her hair swung
like a silken veil between them.
'I thought you were the girl who didn't like to be under an obligation.' He got
up. In the half-light, he seemed taller than ever. 'Yet, if I do come up with
something, you'll be deeper in debt to me than ever. And a day's housework
will hardly cover it this time—so what did you have in mind?'
Catriona swallowed. The room seemed so quiet suddenly that she thought
she could hear the sound of her own tumultuous heartbeats. Why was she
hesitating? Every nerve, every pulse in her body was telling her that she
wanted him. And yet not like this—a casual encounter, something seemed
to cry inside her, prompted by a brief transitory desire on his side, and
supposed gratitude on hers. But perhaps this was all there was for her. She
might want more, but she was still sane enough to recognise that she could
be crying for the moon.
'Well?' he prompted quietly.
She rose slowly to her feet, automatically tightening the belt of her
housecoat with fingers that shook. He stood, his hands resting lightly on his
hips, watching her walk towards him, but he made no attempt to touch her,
even when she was barely inches away from him.
She paused uncertainly, looking up into his face, trying to read his
enigmatic expression.
'I—I'll do anything you want,' she said huskily.
He reached out and lifted the heavy fall of hair back from her face, letting
his hand stroke her throat and the delicate line of her jaw.
'Convince me,' he whispered.
Mutely, she lifted her face and he bent to her, touching her mouth with his in
a kiss that was as light as a drifting leaf. His hand moved under her hair,
clasping the nape of her neck, pulling her towards him as his kiss deepened,
lengthened and possessed. His hands slid the length of her body from her
shoulders to her hips, moulding her against him in a slow, sweet fusion that
made her tinglingly aware of his desire for her.
'See the effect you have on me,' he whispered. She blushed, hiding her face
against him, but he slipped a hand under her chin, forcing it up so that they
could kiss again, before he lifted her in his arms and carried her to the settee.
Lying half beside him, half across him, she gave herself up to Jason's kisses.
His mouth explored the contours of her face, then teased the pulse in her
throat. His fingers caressed her bare neck, lingering over the faint mark the
chain had made when she snapped it.
'So you didn't need it after all,' he murmured.
'I've worn it for so long, I feel strange without it,' she confessed, aware that
her voice was trembling.
'Wear this instead.' He bent his head and pressed his mouth to the shadowed
hollow between her breasts where Jeremy's ring had lain.
A long, sweet shiver ran through her entire body, but in spite of herself she
felt a growing tension building up deep inside her. Beyond this was the point
of no return, and she was frightened of her own inexperience and the
demands that might be made of it.
Jason's lips and hands were suddenly asking questions for which she no
longer had the answers and finally, with a little cry of protest, she twisted
away from the urgency of his caresses and stumbled to her feet, wrapping
the housecoat round her body in an instinctive gesture of protectiveness.
'Catriona?' He got up, raking reluctant fingers through his dishevelled hair.
'Darling, what is it?'
'I—I don't know.' Her voice wavered, sounding strained and unfamiliar.
'I—I just—can't. . .' She broke down, covering her face with her hands.
There was a long, grim silence. When at last she ventured to look up, he had
moved away to the opposite side of the fireplace, and was standing, smoking