Wild Ones (The Lane) (14 page)

I never got the opportunity.

Just as Luke was able to free one of his arms and was rearing back, a panicked voiced screamed out, just slightly above the din, “Fuzz!”

Chapter Fourteen

A hush had fallen over the room. Even Johnson and Luke stopped midstruggle. We were all frozen in place for a half a beat, like a grown-up version of the kid game statues.

Or they were, at least. I unfroze in even less time than that. This was a drill I knew, one that was second nature to me, the instinct to flee when those blue uniforms made an appearance. I was born running. I barely hesitated, instead I sprang into action, moving fast, busting a hard left and shoving through, awakening people as I passed them. They came to life with my touch, stumbling like the undead, reanimating more and more with every step they took until they were a stampede of wild cattle behind me. Halfway to the door I realized I’d left Jax behind. Uniforms were moving slowly through the crowd when I glanced back over my shoulder, debating turning around and going back for him. Before I could make up my mind, to risk or not to risk, Brandon appeared next to me. With fierce dislike radiating off him, he seized my arm and dragged me toward the door. I was just able to make out Theo standing there, waiting for us, a still picture surrounded by utter frenzy.

I tried jerking away from the biting grip but Brandon held fast.

“Jax is back there!” I shouted at him. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I got orders. Cam will get your friend,” he yelled back at me and I wanted to tell him just where he could shove those orders. “Keep fucking movi—”

His words were drowned out by shots being fired into the air. He didn’t have to finish what he was going to say then. I was all but pulling him toward Theo, instinct propelling me forward.

When we reached him, Brandon released me as if my skin scalded his and it had physically pained him to hold on for as long as he did. Theo nodded at me, a quick jerk of his head, and there were a dozen questions I wanted to ask but the need to flee, to get as far away from trigger-happy uniforms, was far more pressing. When a second round was fired into the air, I didn’t waste any time. I was out the back door and flying across the gravel parking lot before the cops had even thought about securing the outside. It was what I’d banked on as soon as those shots were fired, that they’d gone in guns blazing and hadn’t thought about the ones who wouldn’t be caught like deer in the headlights.

It wasn’t until I hit the edge of the lot and the overgrown field behind it that I slowed, realizing I’d very likely left Brandon and Theo behind. Almost immediately, a hand gripped my elbow, pulling me forward. “Go, go, go!” Theo yelled in my ear, dragging me behind him. I picked up the pace, teetering in my heels for only a second, before I was in a sprint next to him, Brandon bringing up the rear.

The cold grass and weeds whipped against my bare legs, the sensation like tiny razorblades slicing at me. The crickets were screaming in my ears as we ran, fighting for dominance over my own pounding heart and gasping breaths. My lungs burned, begged for relief from the strain I was putting on them, but I ignored their pleas and pushed myself faster, harder, knowing we had to get as far away as quickly as possible.

“Where are we meeting them?” I managed to choke out to Theo, who still had a hold of me.

He glanced over and back, his brow furrowing. “The tree line,” he said, his own voice steady.

I nodded rather than answering him, praying that Brandon hadn’t been lying, and Cam really had grabbed Jax and he’d be waiting there too. I should have gone back. I shouldn’t have left him. He would never have left me. Just another reason why he was better.

It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes that we ran but it felt like so much longer. The grass grew higher the deeper into the field we ventured until it felt like we were running through a cornfield. I was half convinced my legs would be bloody from the razor grass that beat against them. When we finally slowed, me following Theo’s lead, I saw that they were intact, my legs. My lungs, on the other hand, felt ready to burst.

“Where are they?” I gasped, clutching a stitch in my side. “Shouldn’t they already be here?”

Theo didn’t answer, his eyes narrowed, scanning the trees in front of us.

“Stay here,” he instructed softly after a second.

I straightened and shot him a look he didn’t turn to see.

“Not on your life, doll,” I told his back. “That’s how the chick gets knocked off in the horror movies. I’m not staying behind.”

Theo turned and looked at me, no doubt ready to admonish, but movement ahead of us had him whipping back around, sliding in front of me slightly. I bit back the urge to roll my eyes, instead moving just enough to put me at his side rather than his back.

“It’s Jax,” I breathed, seeing a flash of black just a shade lighter than the darkness surrounding it and that unruly blond head that I knew so well came into view, stepping out from behind the trees. Relief washed over me, and even from where I stood I could see the same flashing in his eyes.

Theo lost the tense posture I hadn’t realized he’d had. “And Luke,” he added as Luke stepped out next to Jax, who was instantly forgotten as my heart stuttered.

I didn’t even think. I broke into a sprint, flying at that shirtless boy with the whiskey eyes, crashing into him and colliding hard with his shoulder before he could catch me. My mouth slammed down onto his as I leaped into his slicked-up arms, wrapping my legs around his hips, and I could have wept from the satisfaction that was coursing through me. He held fast, clutching my face between his big hands, kissing me back just as desperately, and I knew he felt the same.

I was so lost, so preoccupied with the feel of Luke beneath my hands, the knowledge that he was safe and I was safe and we’d escaped a raid that had only been idle talk on the car ride over, that I almost missed Jax’s exaggerated throat clearing. I didn’t want to, it almost hurt, but I pulled back from Luke and eased myself down his body just as Jax shifted in our direction. I turned to look at him, apologies dancing on my tongue, a first, when the look in his eyes stopped me in my tracks. His normally sunny gaze, those bright blue eyes that I knew better than I knew my own, were stormy, wars raging in them, galaxies’ worth of them, and I felt my hackles raise slightly, instantly going on the defensive even though I wasn’t sure why.

“Jax—” I started, wanting to soothe, but mostly wanting to just get this over with so I could turn back to Luke, but he interrupted me with his hand held up in a stop gesture.

“No. I don’t want to hear it,” he said quietly, evenly, calmly, and that was the worst. A calm, serious Jax, something I so rarely saw. “Let’s just go. Tell your boyfriend goodbye.”

My brow furrowed as I looked up at him with a deep frown. Behind me, Luke was practically humming with aggression.

“She can choose what she’s doing herself,” he snarled and I cringed, turning to look at him.

“Yes, she can,” I told him, heat creeping into my voice. “She can also speak for herself.”

“Bri, this is fucking ridiculous,” Jax said, ignoring Luke completely. Something that probably wasn’t the best idea. “Let’s go.”

“Boy, don’t make me—”

I threw my hands on my hips, glaring at both of them in turn. “Knock it the fuck off, you two. Bri can talk and make decisions for herself. So, just stop. I mean it.”

It was like I wasn’t even there.

“You’re not good enough for her,” Jax bit out and I groaned out loud.

Luke merely laughed.

“And I suppose you are?”

“I keep her the hell out of trouble!” Jax shouted.

I looked back to where Brandon and Theo were standing, watching the entire exchange. I could tell by the expressions on their faces, different for each of them, Brandon’s being amused, Theo’s bewildered, that I couldn’t expect help from either of them.

“Really?” Luke was saying. “Because that’s all she’s been since I’ve known her.”

“There’s irony for you,” Jax muttered and I could feel Luke tense, a coiled spring ready to snap. Hands still on my hips, I stomped my foot, attempting to get their attention.

“Knock it the fuck off!” I yelled, grabbing Luke’s arm and attempting to pull him farther back. I didn’t like how close they were getting with every hostile word. Visions of flying fists and spewing blood filled my mind. “Luke! Come on! Let’s just go. All of us. Before the cops start combing the area.”

I didn’t even know if there was a threat of this happening, but I was prepared to say anything that would get them to stop. Not that it made much of an impact. It was like talking to two brick walls. In fact, I probably would have gotten more of a reaction out of a brick wall.

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, and I suggest you stop talking altogether,” Luke growled and I groaned again, glancing helplessly once more at Theo and Brandon.

“Or what? You gonna make me?” Jax laughed coldly. “What’s up, Turner? Did I strike a nerve?”

Luke lunged as if to answer that question with a silent but resounding yes.

They kept pushing closer to each other and by this point, I was stuck in the middle between them. If punches were to be thrown, there was a good chance I’d be hit by friendly fire. I braced myself for the possibility, prepared to break up what was quickly evolving into a schoolyard brawl. Luckily, Theo chose that moment to step forward.

“Bri had a good point,” he said gently, and even though his voice was quiet, it seemed to resonate better than mine had. “The fuzz might be combing the area looking for people who ran. We need to get moving.”

I nodded quickly and grabbed Luke’s arm again with both hands. This time he came willingly. Jax on the other hand looked even more affronted.

“You’re kidding me, right?” He tore his eyes away from Luke and they landed on me. “You’re going with him? Really? The whole time I’ve known you, you’ve run from anything that even reminded you of your past, only to end up losing your damn fool mind over this guy? You’re joking. This is all one big fucking joke.”

I tensed and turned slowly to face him, a million replies crowding my mouth, begging to be spewed out, yet all I could manage was a glare.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Luke snarled. “Remind you of what past, Bri?

“You haven’t even told him?” Jax asked, his voice incredulous. “You mean to tell me you’ve been shoved up this dude’s ass so far I’m not even sure where you begin and he ends, and you haven’t even told him one single thing about yourself?”

“He knows plenty,” I said, finding my voice. “There’s nothing else he needs to know.”

“Really?”

And I knew, right then and there, what was going to happen.

“Jax, don’t,” I warned him, but if he heard me, he gave no indication. He turned to Luke again, something akin to malice washing over his face, twisting him into someone I didn’t recognize and didn’t want to.

“Your girl here? The reason she doesn’t like your kind? Because she got the shit beat out of her by one. Often.”

My mouth dropped open, shock and disgust rolling over me from hearing it like that from Jax of all people. Jax, who was the only one in my life who knew the extent of my childhood, whom I had always trusted with it.

“You son of a bitch!” I shouted, suddenly thoroughly pissed beyond reason. “How fucking dare you!”

“What’s the matter, Bri? He’s your man. Made you lose every damn bit of common sense you ever possessed. Isn’t it only fair he know the truth of things? Yeah, Turner. It’s true. She ran when she was seventeen. Moved in with me when she was eighteen. Was homeless before that. Her old man was a bear of a dude who beat the shit out of her and her brother while her mama watched. No wonder she hates you half the time, right?”

That was it. Without thinking, I started to rush Jax, who didn’t so much as flinch, something that pissed me off even more, only to be stopped after taking only a few steps by Luke.

“Is it true?” he asked me, and I snarled at him in response.

“Does it matter if it is or it isn’t? It’s the motherfucking past and it has absolutely nothing to do with now. And Jax had no right opening his big, stupid, fucking mouth.” I turned to Jax once more. “That was mine, damn you.”

For his part, Jax did look slightly abashed, but not enough to keep his mouth shut. No. He kept going.

“He needs to know. He needs to know the whys. He needs to know why he’s not fucking good enough for you and why he never will be!”

“You had no right to give it!” I screamed, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Brandon and Theo inch back a step.

“No? Isn’t that my job as your best friend? To fucking help you when you can’t help yourself? You are fucking your father, Bri. Have you stopped and really thought about that? You are fucking—you are in a—whatever the hell this is between y’all—relationship. Clusterfuck. Whatever. You’re in it with your father. Congratulations. You’ve turned into your mother. Even down to forgetting the people who should matter to you.”

And then he did the cruelest, most hateful thing of all.

He turned and walked away into the darkness.

Chapter Fifteen

Later on that night, we lay together in his bed, which was two times the size of my own sad little full one. Luke’s hand traced lazy circles on my skin, just below my belly button. We hadn’t bothered to get dressed after our latest round—we usually didn’t, preferring instead to stretch out next to each other, legs tangled, as naked as the day we came. Hands absently stroked, touched, teased, skin seeking skin constantly, and they memorized each dip and curve and muscle as they roamed.

It was quiet here, in these apartments that looked like tiny houses on the good side of the tracks with their considerate neighbors and individual tiny yards surrounded by brick dividers. The type of place where people looked out for one another, formed neighborhood watches, took note when one of theirs was sick and brought by casseroles or picked up the mail for them. In short, it was nicer by far than my own depressing little rundown apartment where my neighbors upstairs always seemed to be screaming at each other in Spanish whenever Luke and I had sex, making me wonder if we ended up fighting whenever they had sex. Like we were the yin and yang of dysfunctional relationships staying in balance with each other. Yet, my apartment was home, the place where I felt most comfortable because it was mine.

But I couldn’t go home. I couldn’t face Jax.

It was pathetic, really, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Couldn’t bring myself to look him in the face and see his disappointment, but mostly I couldn’t look him in the face and realize how much I didn’t care that the disappointment was there. And that was the truth of it. I didn’t care if Jax was disappointed in me over Luke. Not enough to give up Luke, that is. I wanted Jax as a friend and I wanted Luke to be mine like the apartment was mine. I didn’t want to have to choose, and I was deathly afraid that if I was forced to, if Jax asked me to, I would choose Luke. And what kind of friend would that make me? After all these years, after everything we had been through together, what kind of friend would I be if I chose Luke over Jax?

So, like a coward, I went back to Luke’s, with its assigned parking spaces and pretty stone paths, and even though it wasn’t home, he was there and the place smelled like him and that felt like enough for the moment. We had barely gotten in the front door, me a few steps behind him, before he was whirling and slamming the door shut behind me as soon as I crossed the threshold.

“What the fuck was that shit?”

I rolled my eyes, not wanting to deal with it, any of it, and pushed past him, flopping down on his black leather couch and putting my feet up on his coffee table. Not one to be ignored, he stalked the few feet to the couch and stood over me, fists clenched at his sides.

“I’m talking to you. What. The. Fuck. Was. That? And get your damn feet off my table.”

I made a face at him and left them there, not caring if my heels scratched the glass. He narrowed his eyes at me and I gave a dramatic sigh when I realized he wasn’t going to let it drop.

“It was nothing, Luke. Absolutely nothing. Forget about it.”

His face screwed up, aggression still rolling off him in waves. If I had to guess, I would have said that it was still pent-up from not being able to finish the match with Johnson. Or it could have just been Luke being Luke. Too hard to tell, really.

“It didn’t seem like fucking nothing. Why the fuck didn’t you ever tell me?”

“Why should I have? It was in the past. Has no bearing on the here and now. What would the point be in telling you?”

“Because I’m your damned boyfriend, that’s why.” He grabbed my calves and swung them onto the floor forcefully.

I jumped to my feet, getting nose to nose with him.

“My boyfriend? Really? Is that what we are?”

“Isn’t it? What the hell else would you call it?”

I just glared rather than answering that question directly. “Look, it didn’t fucking matter. My childhood was shit, my da was a dick, but it. Does. Not. Matter. Jax had absolutely no right to tell you any of that, but since you’re so damned insistent on knowing every little thing, I didn’t get my period till I was almost sixteen. That cool with you?”

I didn’t even see him move. One minute I was upright and the next I was falling backward onto the couch, Luke bent over me, a hand braced on either side of my head, his hot breath fanning across my face. My eyes narrowed and my lip lifted up in a silent snarl.

“I had a right to know,” he ground out, leaning in impossibly closer. “You don’t have to throw your pissy little bitch attitude because I’m pissed that I had to find out about this shit from that punk.”

Oh, now he’d fucking done it.

“Jax is not a punk, you piece of shit. He shouldn’t have said a damn thing to you but don’t you dare say one fucking negative thing about him. Got it, bitch?”

I figured the
bitch
would push him over the edge, and I was waiting excitedly at the bottom to pounce, but if anything, he eased a little, slipping back and staring down at me.

“You’re infuriating,” he said quietly. “I don’t know why I do this with you. You drive me fucking nuts.”

“Likewise.”

Without another word, he grabbed me by my shoulders and hauled me up against him. He still hadn’t put on a shirt, and though he’d wiped off most of the oil, traces were still there and I could feel it against my skin, caressing my cleavage and palms as I slid them up to wrap around his neck. His shorts were silk against my bare legs, and I shivered as he framed my face, teasing the hair at the nape of my neck with his fingertips. The look he gave me was scorching in its intensity, through my clothes, past my skin, down to my bones, warming them.

“I love you,” he burned against my lips as he brought his mouth down to mine, and I froze with the words. I could tell he felt it by the way his grip tightened on my cheeks. “I fucking love you, Bri. I don’t even give a shit if you don’t love me back. But I love you and hearing what your boy said you went through made me crazy angry.”

I nodded against him, and before he could say another word, I tipped forward and smashed my mouth against his, using my lips to proclaim what I felt for him. It wasn’t love, not quite, but it was almost there and it was desperate and I didn’t know how to put it into words. It was the back and forth of him, the hot and cold, it made me crazy, made me feel crazy, and sanity never felt more pointless than when I was with him. He was poison and a cure and I wanted him all the time and hated him occasionally and sometimes it was all at once, which just made me want him more.

I never did tell him it back in the time between then and now, through two rounds of sex—once on the couch and another tripping down the hallway back to his room—and true to his word, he hadn’t brought it up, hadn’t pressed me to say it. I was glad, relieved. On top of everything else that had happened, that was one thing I really didn’t want to address, had no desire to talk about. I wasn’t sure if I even believed in love, not really. Not like that. Yet I felt something for Luke. Something strong, possessively strong. Something hot and desperate that left me aching when he wasn’t near.

“Brandon hates me,” I announced after a long stretch of silence, silence during which I caught him slipping from the present and stepping into the recent past, replaying the half-finished fight, catching us both off guard. I wasn’t sure where it had come from, wasn’t sure how I jumped from thinking about love to Brandon’s hatred.

Luke didn’t try to reassure me.

“Brandon hates everyone. Most of the time I think he hates himself. Probably because he’s so fucking ugly.”

“I heard him when we were leaving. How he thinks you should stay away from me.” I’d been walking only feet ahead of them with Theo, despite how much I ached to be next to Luke as we trekked through the tree line to the side street where our vehicles were parked. I didn’t tell Luke how it made anxiety spike through me, how badly I wanted to whirl around and protest, but the need to eavesdrop was stronger, how just the thought of Luke not being around was enough to throw me into a panic attack, something I had no prior knowledge of. I didn’t tell him these things because I was ashamed of them, no matter how true they were.

Luke glanced over at me, his face blank as if he could read my thoughts.

“Then you heard what I said,” he replied lowly, his eyes roaming over my face. I wondered if he could see the lingering panic I could still feel etched there. I nodded. He’d told him to fuck off, something that washed me in relief.

“I meant it,” he promised. “Brandon. Jax, they can all kiss my ass. We don’t have to listen to them. Any of them fuckers.” His eyes darted back to the wall over my shoulder and I knew he was running through the fight from earlier, examining it from different angles, preparing for next time.

“They’ll try to make us break it off,” I pressed, rising up on an elbow and leaning toward him. Maybe I just wanted to hear those words again even if I was reluctant to say them myself.

His eyes flitted to mine and held them, and I was struck again by that desperate need for this boy. He smiled, slowly, all teeth, and I shuddered.

“It doesn’t matter what they want,” he said, his voice was low, rough, and it slid over my skin, making me shiver. “They can say whatever. We don’t have to listen.”

I nodded. I wouldn’t. Not when it came to Luke. The others had no idea. They couldn’t begin to understand.

“Will you, though?” I forced myself to ask, because I needed to know.

“What?”

“Listen. Eventually.”

He gave me a scorching look before reaching up and cupping the back of my neck, dragging me down to him.

“Not to them,” he said against my lips. Then his mouth slanted under mine and he was stealing the breath from my lungs like the sweetest kind of thief.

* * *

We were woken up a few hours later by a phone ringing, and I went from being mostly asleep to painfully alert. Luke’s voice was groggy as he answered, and I listened close, my stomach clenching when I heard Theo’s voice on the other end. I knew. I knew I knew I knew. This was it. There would be a rematch. There would have to be. Too many people had shown up to not be satisfied. Too many people had lost too much money. They had to have their chance to make it back from the blood my boy shed.

When Luke hung up, he reached for me and I reached back, closing the little bit of space left between us. I didn’t ask. I didn’t have to. He just nodded grimly, probably knowing what my reaction was going to be.

“Sometime in the next two weeks,” he told me, watching me close. “Theo wants me to train double. He thinks Johnson is going to be using the time to up his game.” He gave me a look. “He wants me to avoid any distractions.”

“Don’t tell me,” I muttered. “I’m the distraction.” It stung a little, thinking about it. I liked Theo. Theo seemed to like me. Out of anyone, I thought maybe Theo was on our side. He hadn’t given me a reason to not believe that.

“Understatement,” Luke replied, grinning a little, and even though his words weren’t what I wanted to hear, I felt my chest get warm and achy seeing it on his face.

“Do you think I am?” I pressed, searching his eyes closely, looking for any lies that might be lurking there. His answer wouldn’t matter, not in the scheme of things. I wouldn’t stay away from Luke, even for Luke’s sake.

“Sugar, you distract my entire life. It’s what you do.”

I scowled and leaned away from him. My ma was once a distraction, as well. As were Christian and I. I had heard that too many times growing up to not know what it meant for Luke and me later on down the road.

“But you don’t distract me in the ring. Been doing it too long now. It’s like breathing.”

I sighed, relieved, and allowed myself to be pulled back in his arms. I would never have walked away, sure, but knowing that he, at least, didn’t view me as his downfall changed things. Because his opinion was what mattered. Not enough to give him up, give up this electricity that hummed under my skin whenever he was near, but enough that I didn’t want him thinking it. I could live with being his life distraction—he was mine—but I couldn’t live with knowing that in the ring I was a liability to him. I couldn’t live knowing that one day he would come to resent me for it, might not want me around or hate me when I was.

If history was going to repeat itself, I wanted it to leave out that part so he would never leave me.