Authors: Deila Longford
“Oh sweetie I’ve missed you,” she gushes.
“I know it’s been too long.” I agree. My mom pulls me over to the bed and she plants herself down. She pats the bed for me to sit and I immediately do as she says. She reaches out and grabs both of my hands and her stare deepens.
“How are you sweetie? Is everything okay?” I smile at her.
“Yes I’m really, really good Mom.” I gush. She smiles again and I know that look.
“Does a guy have anything to do with that smile on your face?” I blush she knows me too well. “It’s the music producer, isn’t it?” I blush again and I nod. My mom lets out a squeal. “I knew it, tell me about him. I want
details.
” I laugh at her words. Right now she’s acting more like my best friend than my mom.
“He’s amazing, like
really
amazing.” I have an image of him in my mind and it makes me feel all warm inside. That feeling quickly disappears, when I think about someone telling him about my past. My heart starts to thump, and I realise that I need to warn my mom to not say anything. “Listen Mom there’s something that I need you to do for me.” she looks worried but she nods in agreement.
“Well what it is sweetie?” I take a deep breath, I don’t know if she will approve of him being here.
“Mom, Jonathon is here,” I blurt out.
“What do you mean he’s here?”
“Well I took your advice and asked him to come with me.” My mom shakes her head but in an approving sort of way. “Listen Mom I haven’t exactly told him about … Brandon and about everything that happened.”
“Ashley you have to be honest with him!” My mom butts in. I roll my eyes and start again.
“I know and I will, but not today. And I don’t want you or any of your friends gossiping to him. We’ve had a rough couple of days and I just want to spend time with him and be happy for once. Please say that you’ll do as I ask?”
“Of course I will, but promise me that you
will
tell him?” I sigh at her words. I know that I have to be honest with him, but the truth is that I’m terrified of what he’ll think of me. I can’t risk losing the guy that I love.
“Mom I’m scared of losing him.”
“Sweetie if he’s as amazing as you say, then he won’t make it an issue.”
“I think.
I know. That I … love him and I guess that I’m just scared of losing him.” My mom pulls me in for a hug.
“Oh Ashley,”
she gasps. There’s a firm knock at the door. My mom pulls away from me, squinting her eyes as she does. I nervously rise from the bed and make my way slowly over to the door. My fingers collide with the door knob; I look back at my mom before I let him in. Her eyes meet mine and she flashes me a reassuring smile. My mom knows how to read me and she can tell that I am nervous. Her smile is warming, it gives me the confidence that I need to let him in. I twist the handle and I pull the door towards me. Jonathon is breath-taking as he stands firmly in front of me. My heart is racing and my stomach is in a thousand knots. He smiles that devilish smile and my knees turn to jelly. He edges forward with a wicked look in his eye. I sense his intentions, so I quickly make eye contact with him, and I blurt out that we have company.
“Jonathon there’s someone that I would like you to meet.” I say grabbing onto his arm and jerking his body further into the room. He looks over the top of my head and a smile plasters that perfect face. He pushes past me and rushes towards my mom. I watch as he introduces himself. My mom is giddy and I can tell that she is stunned by his good looks. He smiles over at me as he extends his arm for me to curl up at his side.
I walk over and take his offer. His hand slides onto my waist sending a chill down my spine. I look up at him and I can’t help but think about what it would be like to be with him. I imagine his kiss all over my body... I blush at the thought as my mom’s voice erupts.
“It’s wonderful to finally meet you. My daughter has told me so much about you. I feel as if I already know you.” My cheeks burst into flames at her confession. Jonathon looks down at me and he has a smug glint in his eye.
“All good I hope? I want to thank you for inviting me. Ashley is … very special to me, and it means a great deal to be here with her.” My mom’s approval of him is painted all over her face. She can’t contain her excitement as she lunges forward, and hugs me whilst I’m still holding onto Jonathon. I can hear him laughing as my mom squeezes me. I let her hold me until she feels secure enough to pull away. My heart is fluttering, because I feel that part of my mom’s embrace, is down to the fact that we haven’t been this close in over a year. I hated what I put her through with Brandon. I hated how mean and selfish I was. She had to deal with a lot of shit along the way. It’s been hard being apart from her. After all she is the only parent that I ever knew. All that said I feel that she needed space away from me. She didn’t care for the person that I had become. She needed time to forgive me for everything that I had done. I needed time to become myself again. I feel that I have reached my goal and that with Jonathon by my side, I can be the best version of myself.
“I’m gonna leave you two kids alone for a bit. Now y’all don’t forget that the service starts at five
, and I need you at three now Ashley.” My mom’s adoptive accent is showing. I shake my head at her, as she smiles and marches out of the room. The door closes and I blush as I turn to face Jonathon. He’s grinning from ear to ear, and he has that playful look in his eye. He lunges towards me and grabs me by the waist. He pulls me close and kisses me firmly on my lips. My stomach is flipping and my cheeks are flushing with desire. He moves his lips onto my neck as he edges me closer to the bed. His tongue collides with my skin and I get all sorts of tingles. He pulls away and locks those diamond eyes on mine. His stare is intense and very alluring. He grabs onto each side of my face as he whispers.
“I want you
Ashley. I want you to be MINE,” his voice sends chills down my spine. I know that I want exactly what he’s offering. I leap forward and plant my full lips onto his. We kiss until we fall onto the bed. He pushes me further up the bed and he takes a second to remove his white t-shirt. A sly smile plasters my face at the sight of his ripped body. He crawls to my level and he positions himself just hovering over me. He lightly falls against me as his lips meet mine once again. His tongue explores my mouth and then moves onto the skin of my neck for the second time. One of his hands slides up my inner thigh and the other cups my cheek. A moan escapes my mouth at his touch. I close my eyes and think of how long I have wanted this for. I think of how I tried to resist him. Now my reasons aren’t even clear in my own mind. I want him. I love him. He’s mine. Confidence explodes in me and I flip him over and now I’m the one who’s on top. With one embrace, I remove my vest to revel my pink lace bra. Jonathon’s smirk is obvious as he approves of my body. His hands grip my waist as he pulls me further onto his body. My loose hair is flying all over the place as our passion heats up. Jonathon slides off his jeans and he removes my shorts at the same time. As his jeans fall to the floor, he grabs them and reaches into the pocket. He pulls out a small packet. I realise what it is and I wait as he performs his duty. He flips me around and now our clothe-less bodies collide. He feels amazing. He’s amazing. His kisses flood my body as we pant together at our passion. My hands slide into his hair. His hands squeeze my breasts until we both scream out with pleasure. His spent body falls against mine. He’s done. I’m done. I can hardly breathe as he showers me with yet more kisses. His breathing is heavy and exhilarating. He lightly graces my cheek with his index finger as he whispers.
“Te Amo!” I squint at him as I have no idea what he just said. He laughs at my confusion and then he
rephrases in English. “It means I love you!” A tear forms in my eye. He loves me? I grip onto his face as my tears stream down my face.
“You know that I love you too, right?” I say breathless and gasping for air. He rolls over onto his back and he pulls me onto his chest.
“I do now!” I smile through my tears. He lightly wipes at my face and then he kisses the top of my head. I rest my body onto his and let out a sigh. This is it. I have met the guy that I want to be with for the rest of my life.
Eighteen
“Mom, you look amazing!” I gush as we stand behind two large oak doors. The wedding music is playing. The bridesmaids, flower girls and Charlie the ring barrier have all graced their way down the aisle. I look at my mom. She looks nervous as her moment arrives. There is a brief silence, and then Whitney Houston’s I will always love you chimes through the closed doors. I smile at my mom. I knew that she would pick that song. I am little upset. I wanted to sing it for her and Pete at their first dance. But this is my mom’s day, and thankfully she and Pete have a whole collection of special songs. I have plenty to choose from. My mom’s dress is elegant. She didn’t choose pure white, instead she opted for ivory. Her hair is fixed into a high bun and she has a string of pearls neatly placed around her bun. She looks amazing. I am so excited for her.
“It’s time,” an usher informs us. I flash my mom a smile as I link into her arm. The doors open and I’m overwhelmed when everyone is standing facing us. My hand starts to shake
, as we take our first steps onto the red carpeted aisle. My heart is racing. I spot some familiar faces who have hated me over the years. I don’t make eye contact with any of them. Instead, I put on my best smile and walk gracefully with my mom linked into my arm. We reach the alter and Pete looks handsome in his tux. He embraces me first with a kiss on my cheek, and then he winks at my mom and takes her by the hand. I take my place next to the other bridesmaids. I scan the crowd for Jonathon. He’s sitting in the front row next to Pete’s brother. He puckers his lips and air blows me a kiss. I can’t contain my smile at his action, and a gentle giggle explodes from my mouth. Gloria –my mom’s best friend gently nudges me and reminds me that I need to be quiet. I smile and apologise. She returns my gesture and winks at me in approval of Jonathon. I shake my head and focus as the reverent chimes his duties.
“
You may now kiss your bride!”
Pete wastes no time he pulls my mom close and plants a sloppy kiss onto her mouth. The crowd cheer and tears are streaming down my cheeks. I am so happy. They look amazing together. They pull away from each other
, and Pete grabs onto his new wife and leads her down the aisle. The crowd cheers and claps, whilst upbeat music plays in the background. I stare through the sea of people and I smile when I see Jonathon. He’s walking towards me. I can’t breathe, because I know that he is
finally
mine. He rushes up to me and he lifts me into the air. His hands caress my back as he spins me around. I let out a massive giggle, and everyone turns and stares at us. I am embarrassed, but I don’t care. I wrap my arms around his neck and I meet his gorgeous lips. We kiss and I melt. He spins me around again and then he eases me back onto the ground. My eyes close and re-open to set on him. His smile is velvet-like, his eyes sinful I realise that he’s now
my
Wilde velvet.
The night draws in and the guests are easing into the next slow da
nce. I leave Jonathon at our beautifully decorated table, as I make my way onto the stage. The four piece band is playing softly, and the lead singer kindly steps aside to let me sing to my mom and her wonderful new husband. I tap the microphone and I signal to the guitar player. He and I discussed song choices earlier, and we both agreed that something by ‘lady antebellum’ would be fitting for tonight. My mom and Pete both love their songs and as far as I am aware, Pete actually proposed to ‘Need You Now’. I figured there would be no better song for their first dance. The lights dim and form a spotlight on the middle of the dance floor. I tap the microphone, and then I let my mom know that it’s time for me to sing to her and Pete.
“Please give it up for Mr and Mrs Pete Fisher,”
the crowd cheer and clap as they stride onto the dance floor. The music plays, and Pete begins to sway my mom with the slow beat. I look out at the guests siting at their tables munching on their food and I smile. I have played to large audiences. I have sung for important people with impressive jobs. But tonight, playing for my mom on the most special day of her life, nothing will ever compete with that. The intro blasts and I take my cue.
“Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor,”
“I love you Ashley,” Jonathon whispers into my ear as we slow dance to Celine Dion. The smile that has consumed my face is overwhelming. All eyes are on us as we share our love with everyone in the room. I’m so happy right now that I could burst. Jonathon is everything that I could ever need and want in a guy. My music is soaring, and I can’t believe all the success that I have endured so far. I don’t know what I did to deserve all of this happiness. I have been far from ‘good’ and deserving of this luck. I feel as if I am on top of the world, a world that I’m finally happy to be in again. Jonathon has changed me. He has opened me up to the idea of falling in love again, and that’s exactly what I’ve done. I love him and he’s everything that I ever want. I could stay with him forever. My heart is plagued by the thought of him finding out about my past. A cold shiver chills my spine at that thought. I would never survive it if he were to hate me for my past behaviour. I try to shake that awful, crippling thought out of my mind and to just focus on tonight. I increase my grip on him as he sways me with the music. He leans in towards me and he places a soft, tender kiss onto my cheek. He eases back from me and flashes that perfect smile. My heart flutters and I lightly chuckle, and then I stand on my tip-toes and plant a kiss onto his lips. Our mouths connect and form the most perfect kiss ever.
“I love you too and I’m going to let in on a little secret. Tonight is the best night of my life. Being here with
you is like my own personal heaven that only you and I are in. I love you Jonathon Wilde!” I gush as he pulls me closer. His hand slides down my back and rests on the curve of my back. I tingle at his touch, and I know that we need to get out of here. I want to be close to him. I need to feel him in my arms. I jerk his head close to mine and I whisper. “Let’s escape for fifteen minutes.” he wickedly smiles and he doesn’t need much convincing. He clasps our hands together and he starts for the nearest exit. He spins me around and attempts to lead me out of the room. However, we are momentarily stopped by a guest. A guest that has red flags written all over her. I try to push past her quickly enough that she won’t try to speak to us. However, my efforts are in vain, as she slides her drunken body in front of us. I sigh as I try to keep my cool. My heart is racing as Abby stands brazenly in front of me and Jonathon. I take a deep breath and do I dare speak to her?
Abby Smith is one of those girls who just loves to stir up shit. She loves putting people on the spot and making them feel terrible about themselves. If you think of the bitch
iest girl you have ever met, and times her by ten, then that’s exactly who Abby is. It doesn’t help my nerves that she has always hated me with a capital H. We went to school together and our moms are really good friends, but that doesn’t mean that Abby and I were ever friends. I always thought that she had a thing for Brandon. She hated the fact that he was my boyfriend, and that he bought me expensive gifts. I know that she would love to burst my love bubble with Jonathon. I need to get him away from her, before she does exactly that.
“Well look what the cat dragged in!” she slurs. Her already thick accent is multiplied by her alcohol intake. I can feel my whole body tensing at the sound of her voice. I know she means blood
, and now I am even more determent to get Jonathon out of here. I reach out and grab his hand pulling him away from Abby as I do. “Leaving are we? When you and I haven’t had a chance to catch up!” Abby groans. I shoot her a pleading look and I pray that her bitchy ways are behind her. Abby loves to see me squirm and a wicked smirk is erupting on her face. I look at Jonathon who looks confused to say the least. He’s eyeing Abby and then me. He senses tension and I really need to get him out of here. I tug on his arm again, grabbing a handful of his expensive jacket. I jerk him forward and a brief sigh of relief curbs over me. I start for the exit with Jonathon trailing behind me. Two steps later, Abby is standing in front of us again.
Fuck.
Why won’t she just leave? “Ashley you seem to be running away from Me.” she slurs. I sigh and look her in the eye. My heart is beating so fast and I can hardly breathe. My hands are shaking and I am terrified, but I am not about to let Abby ruin my life.
“Is there something I can help you with Abby?” I say nice but sarcastic. She rolls her eyes and I can see that despite being drunk off her face, her mind is still as sharp as a tack.
“Yes, you can introduce to me to your boyfriend here. I bet he’s real nice compared to the last one!” My heart skinks. She’s going there. I exhale as I make eye contact with Jonathon. He’s starting to look really uncomfortable. I fear that he’s about to ask questions that I don’t want to answer right now.
“Baby is everything okay? You look a little flustered?”
he asks running his hand over my naked shoulder.
“I’m fine. I just need some air.”
he lightly licks his bottom lip, as he nods and try’s to manoeuvre me past the drunken girl. Abby grabs hold of my arm and she’s pulling me back towards her. There’s no way that I am going to get out this. I need to just deal with her once and for all.
“Okay Abby what is it that you want, huh?” I say bitterly. A smirk explodes from her lips. She loves the fact that I am flustered.
“I just want to be introduced to your friend here.” she snaps. Jonathon exhales loudly and fills the space between himself and Abby.
“I’m Jonathon. I’m twenty seven and I work as a music producer!”
he says sarcastically. Abby’s smile fades and now horror and revenge creeps onto her freckled face.
“Well Jonathon the music producer, how well do you think you know Ashley here? I’m guessing that there’s a lot that she hasn’t told you about
why
she left Dallas.” Crap. Fuck and double crap. Abby isn’t stopping. She’s going to let all my secrets out of the bag. Jonathon is going to hate me. I can’t breathe. This isn’t happening right now.
“Abby just … don’t okay. I know you hate me and all
, but please I’m begging you, not here. This is my mom’s wedding day. Please don’t ruin it by bringing up the past.” Abby laughs at my plea and Jonathon’s curiosity has grown.
“What happened? Why
did
you leave Dallas anyway?” he quizzes me. Man I wish that the ground would open up and swallow me right now.
“Listen handsome she’s isn’t gonna tell you. Why don’t I fill you in, huh?” My skin is crawling. I can’t bear to look at her.
“Ashley,” Jonathon says looking me directly in the eye. He’s so beautiful. He was finally mine and now I am about to lose him.
“What’s wrong Ashley cat got your tongue?” Abby chimes. I scowl at her. I can’t let her win. She edges closer to me looking me up and down as she does. “I see you’re not wearing designer labels anymore. What’s wrong
, don’t you have a dealer boyfriend to buy them for you anymore.” I can’t breathe. She finally said it. My eyes don’t meet the drunk, angry appalling girl. Instead, they dart and meet Jonathon’s. He looks confused, hurt and he wants answers.
“What did you just say?”
he says pulling Abby by the arm. She lets out a giggle that deafens me.
“You heard me. Ashley isn’t the good little girl she’s pretending to be.
She’s selfish, spoilt and a little bitch. Trust me dude, you gotta cut her loose now. She’ll only end up ruining your life. Just ask Brandon, oh wait you can’t, he’s still in prison.”
“Ashley what the fuck is she talking about? Who’s in prison? And what the fuck is this
about dealers?” I feel like crying. My heart is broken. Tears well in my eyes and a lump forms in my throat. I can’t do this. I know I’m going to lose the love of my life. It doesn’t matter what I say. He’s going to leave me.
“Jonathon …,” I say but I’m cut off by Abby.
“Don’t try and talk your way out of this. You can’t. I know too much about you. I know that you turned a blind eye to everything that Brandon did. As long as you got to drive the ‘Escalade’ and carry the newest bag in your arm you didn’t care. You knew everything he did. Hell some people even say that you were in on everything and that you were a mule. You climbed high and you thought that you were better than the rest of us. Don’t stand there and pretend to be all innocent in front of ya new man.”
“Ashley is any of that true?” A tear runs down my cheek. My mouth was half open
, and I taste the salty tear as it runs into my mouth. I’m frozen. I can’t speak. Jonathon is frustrated. He lunges forward and pulls me into his face. “I said is any of that true? And don’t even think about lying to me.” My legs are weak and all I can do is confess everything.
“
…Yes … its true!” I stammer. Jonathon pushes me away from him and marches out of the door. Abby is giggling at his reaction. I don’t look at her. If I did, I would probably kill her right now. Instead, I run through the open door after my boyfriend.
“Jonathon. Wait. Please.” I shout after him. He’s striding along the lobby of the hotel. He’s furious and I have to run at full speed to try and match his pace. He is ignoring me. I can’t let him leave me. I love him too much. My heart would never heal. “Jonathon. Please just let me explain.” I scream. He stops and turns around.