William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition (161 page)
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Authors: William Shakespeare
Tags: #Drama, #Literary Criticism, #Shakespeare
BOOK: William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition
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BIRON
Our states are forfeit. Seek not to undo us.
ROSALINE
It is not so, for how can this be true,
That you stand forfeit, being those that sue?
That you stand forfeit, being those that sue?
BIRON
Peace, for I will not have to do with you.
ROSALINE
Nor shall not, if I do as I intend.
BIRON
(to the lords)
(to the lords)
Speak for yourselves. My wit is at an end.
KING
Teach us, sweet madam, for our rude transgression
Some fair excuse.
Some fair excuse.
PRINCESS
The fairest is confession.
Were not you here but even now disguised?
KING
Madam, I was.
PRINCESS
And were you well advised?
KING
I was, fair madam.
PRINCESS
When you then were here,
What did you whisper in your lady’s ear?
KING
That more than all the world I did respect her.
PRINCESS
When she shall challenge this, you will reject her.
KING
Upon mine honour, no.
PRINCESS
Peace, peace,forbear.
Your oath once broke, you force not to forswear.
KING
Despise me when I break this oath of mine.
PRINCESS
I will, and therefore keep it. Rosaline,
What did the Russian whisper in your ear?
What did the Russian whisper in your ear?
ROSALINE
Madam, he swore that he did hold me dear
As precious eyesight, and did value me
Above this world, adding thereto moreover
That he would wed me, or else die my lover.
As precious eyesight, and did value me
Above this world, adding thereto moreover
That he would wed me, or else die my lover.
PRINCESS
God give thee joy of him! The noble lord
Most honourably doth uphold his word.
Most honourably doth uphold his word.
KING
What mean you, madam? By my life, my troth,
I never swore this lady such an oath.
I never swore this lady such an oath.
ROSALINE
By heaven, you did, and to confirm it plain,
You gave me this. But take it, sir, again.
You gave me this. But take it, sir, again.
KING
My faith and this the Princess I did give.
I knew her by this jewel on her sleeve.
I knew her by this jewel on her sleeve.
PRINCESS
Pardon me, sir, this jewel did she wear,
And Lord Biron, I thank him, is my dear.
(
To Biron)
What, will you have me, or your pearl again?
And Lord Biron, I thank him, is my dear.
(
To Biron)
What, will you have me, or your pearl again?
BIRON
Neither of either. I remit both twain.
I see the trick on’t. Here was a consent,
Knowing aforehand of our merriment,
To dash it like a Christmas comedy.
Some carry-tale, some please-man, some slight zany,
Some mumble-news, some trencher-knight, some Dick
That smiles his cheek in years, and knows the trick
To make my lady laugh when she’s disposed,
Told our intents before, which once disclosed,
The ladies did change favours, and then we,
Following the signs, wooed but the sign of she.
Now, to our perjury to add more terror,
We are again forsworn, in will and error.
Much upon this ’tis,
(to Boyet)
and might not you
Forestall our sport, to make us thus untrue?
Do not you know my lady’s foot by th’ square,
And laugh upon the apple of her eye,
And stand between her back, sir, and the fire,
Holding a trencher, jesting merrily?
You put our page out. Go, you are allowed.
Die when you will, a smock shall be your shroud.
You leer upon me, do you? There’s an eye
Wounds like a leaden sword.
I see the trick on’t. Here was a consent,
Knowing aforehand of our merriment,
To dash it like a Christmas comedy.
Some carry-tale, some please-man, some slight zany,
Some mumble-news, some trencher-knight, some Dick
That smiles his cheek in years, and knows the trick
To make my lady laugh when she’s disposed,
Told our intents before, which once disclosed,
The ladies did change favours, and then we,
Following the signs, wooed but the sign of she.
Now, to our perjury to add more terror,
We are again forsworn, in will and error.
Much upon this ’tis,
(to Boyet)
and might not you
Forestall our sport, to make us thus untrue?
Do not you know my lady’s foot by th’ square,
And laugh upon the apple of her eye,
And stand between her back, sir, and the fire,
Holding a trencher, jesting merrily?
You put our page out. Go, you are allowed.
Die when you will, a smock shall be your shroud.
You leer upon me, do you? There’s an eye
Wounds like a leaden sword.
BOYET
Full merrily
Hath this brave manège, this career been run.
BIRON
Lo, he is tilting straight. Peace, I have done.
Enter Costard the clown
Welcome, pure wit. Thou partest a fair fray.
COSTARD
O Lord, sir, they would know 485
Whether the three Worthies shall come in or no.
Whether the three Worthies shall come in or no.
BIRON
What, are there but three?
COSTARD
No, sir, but it is vara fine,
For everyone pursents three.
BIRON
And three times thrice is nine.
COSTARD
Not so, sir, under correction, sir, I hope it is not so.
You cannot beg us, sir. I can assure you, sir, we
know what we know.
I hope, sir, three times thrice, sir—
You cannot beg us, sir. I can assure you, sir, we
know what we know.
I hope, sir, three times thrice, sir—
BIRON
Is not nine?
COSTARD Under correction, sir, we know whereuntil it doth amount.
BIRON By Jove, I always took three threes for nine.
COSTARD O Lord, sir, it were pity you should get your living by reck’ning, sir. BIRON How much is it?
COSTARD O Lord, sir, the parties themselves, the actors, sir, will show whereuntil it doth amount. For mine own part, I am, as they say, but to parfect one man in one poor man, Pompion the Great, sir.
BIRON Art thou one of the Worthies?
COSTARD It pleased them to think me worthy of Pompey the Great. For mine own part, I know not the degree of the Worthy, but I am to stand for him.
BIRON Go, bid them prepare.
COSTARD
We will turn it finely off, sir. We will take some care.
Exit
KING
Biron, they will shame us. Let them not approach.
BIRON
We are shame-proof, my lord, and ‘tis some policy
To have one show worse than the King’s and his
company.
To have one show worse than the King’s and his
company.
KING I say they shall not come.
PRINCESS
Nay, my good lord, let me o’errule you now.
That sport best pleases that doth least know how.
Where zeal strives to content, and the contents
Dies in the zeal of that which it presents,
There form confounded makes most form in mirth,
When great things labouring perish in their birth.
That sport best pleases that doth least know how.
Where zeal strives to content, and the contents
Dies in the zeal of that which it presents,
There form confounded makes most form in mirth,
When great things labouring perish in their birth.
BIRON
A right description of our sport, my lord.
Enter Armado the braggart
ARMADO
(to the King)
Anointed, I implore so much expense of thy royal sweet breath as will utter a brace of words.
(to the King)
Anointed, I implore so much expense of thy royal sweet breath as will utter a brace of words.
⌈Armado and the King speak apart⌉
PRINCESS Doth this man serve God?
BIRON Why ask you?
PRINCESS
A speaks not like a man of God his making.
ARMADO That is all one, my fair sweet honey monarch, for, I protest, the schoolmaster is exceeding fantastical, too-too vain, too-too vain. But we will put it, as they say, to
fortuna de la guerra.
I wish you the peace of mind, most royal couplement.
fortuna de la guerra.
I wish you the peace of mind, most royal couplement.
Exit
KING Here is like to be a good presence of Worthies. He presents Hector of Troy, the swain Pompey the Great, the parish curate Alexander, Armado’s page Hercules, the pedant Judas Maccabeus, And if these four Worthies in their first show thrive, These four will change habits and present the other five.
BIRON
There is five in the first show.
KING
You are deceived, ’tis not so.
BIRON
The pedant, the braggart, the hedge-priest, the fool,
and the boy,
Abate throw at novum and the whole world again
Cannot pick out five such, take each one in his vein.
and the boy,
Abate throw at novum and the whole world again
Cannot pick out five such, take each one in his vein.
KING
The ship is under sail, and here she comes amain.
Enter Costard the clown as Pompey
COSTARD
(as Pompey)
(as Pompey)
I Pompey am—
BIRON You lie, you are not he.
COSTARD
(as Pompey)
(as Pompey)
I Pompey am—
BOYET With leopard’s head on knee.
BIRON
Well said, old mocker. I must needs be friends with thee.
COSTARD (as Pompey)
I Pompey am, Pompey surnamed the Big.
DUMAINE ‘The Great’.
COSTARD It is ‘Great’, sir—
(As Pompey)
Pompey surnamed the Great,
That oft in field with targe and shield did make my
foe to sweat,
And travelling along this coast I here am come by
chance,
And lay my arms before the legs of this sweet lass of
France.—
If your ladyship would say ‘Thanks, Pompey’, I had
done.
Pompey surnamed the Great,
That oft in field with targe and shield did make my
foe to sweat,
And travelling along this coast I here am come by
chance,
And lay my arms before the legs of this sweet lass of
France.—
If your ladyship would say ‘Thanks, Pompey’, I had
done.
⌈PRTNCESS⌉ Great thanks, great Pompey.
COSTARD ‘Tis not so much worth, but I hope I was perfect.
I made a little fault in ‘great’.
BIRON My hat to a halfpenny Pompey proves the best
Worthy.
Costard stands aside.
Enter Nathaniel the curate as Alexander
NATHANIEL
(as Alexander)
(as Alexander)
When in the world I lived I was the world’s commander.
By east, west, north, and south, I spread my conquering might.
My scutcheon plain declares that I am Alisander.
BOYET
Your nose says no, you are not, for it stands too right.
BIRON
(to Boyet)
(to Boyet)
Your nose smells ‘no’ in this, most tender-smelling knight.
PRINCESS
The conqueror is dismayed. Proceed, good Alexander.
NATHANIEL
(as Alexander)
(as Alexander)
When in the world I lived I was the world’s commander.
BOYET
Most true, ’tis right, you were so, Alisander.
BIRON
(to Costard)
Pompey the Great.
(to Costard)
Pompey the Great.
COSTARD Your servant, and Costard.
BIRON Take away the conqueror, take away Alisander.
COSTARD
(to Nathaniel)
O, sir, you have overthrown Alisander the Conqueror. You will be scraped out of the painted cloth for this. Your lion that holds his poleaxe sitting on a close-stool will be given to Ajax. He will be the ninth Worthy. A conqueror and afeard to speak? Run away for shame, Alisander.
(to Nathaniel)
O, sir, you have overthrown Alisander the Conqueror. You will be scraped out of the painted cloth for this. Your lion that holds his poleaxe sitting on a close-stool will be given to Ajax. He will be the ninth Worthy. A conqueror and afeard to speak? Run away for shame, Alisander.
⌈Exit Nathaniel the curate⌉
There, an’t shall please you, a foolish mild man, an honest man, look you, and soon dashed. He is a marvellous good neighbour, faith, and a very good bowler, but for Alisander—alas, you see how ‘tis—a little o’erparted. But there are Worthies a-coming will speak their mind in some other sort.
PRINCESS Stand aside, good Pompey.
Enter Holofernes the pedant as Judas, and the boy Mote as Hercules
HOLOFERNES
Great Hercules is presented by this imp,
Whose club killed Cerberus, that three-headed
canus,
And when he was a babe, a child, a shrimp,
Thus did he strangle serpents in his
manus.
Quoniam
he seemeth in minority,
Ergo I come with this apology.
(To Mote)
Keep some state in thy exit, and vanish.
Whose club killed Cerberus, that three-headed
canus,
And when he was a babe, a child, a shrimp,
Thus did he strangle serpents in his
manus.
Quoniam
he seemeth in minority,
Ergo I come with this apology.
(To Mote)
Keep some state in thy exit, and vanish.
Exit Mote
HOLOFERNES
(as Judas)
(as Judas)
Judas I am—
DUMAINE A Judas?
HOLOFERNES Not Iscariot, sir.
(As Judas)
Judas I am, yclept Maccabeus.
Judas I am, yclept Maccabeus.
DUMAINE Judas Maccabeus clipped is plain Judas.
BIRON A kissing traitor. How art thou proved Judas ?
HOLOFERNES
(as Judas)
(as Judas)
Judas I am—
DUMAINE The more shame for you, Judas.
HOLOFERNES What mean you, sir?
BOYET To make Judas hang himself.
HOLOFERNES Begin, sir. You are my elder.
BIRON Well followed—Judas was hanged on an elder.
HOLOFERNES I will not be put out of countenance. 601
BIRON Because thou hast no face.
HOLOFERNES What is this?
BOYET A cittern-head.
DUMAINE The head of a bodkin.
BIRON A death’s face in a ring.
LONGUEVILLE The face of an old Roman coin, scarce seen.
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