Winter of the Wolf (46 page)

For a few short hours, the world had been right. His heart had been singing on the way down the mountain. He’d planned out how they’d ask her to be their lifemate. Planned to visit the local blademage who’d make their bracelets.
I
destroyed everything
.

After a long hug, Breanne kissed Zeb’s cheek.

As they walked down the trail toward the lodge, she said,

“Thyra told me alphas are paired. How far does that go?”
Far
. Shay scowled. The bitch had probably rubbed Breanne’s face in it. Anger smoldered in his gut.

Shadows darkened Zeb’s face. “Not sure. I’ve stayed on the outskirts. Brawd?”

Shay walked in silence, searching for the words. “It’s another kind of a bond. Like between mates, only different.”

“Before when you led a pack, were you paired with the alpha female?” Zeb asked.

“Aye. She was older—forties, maybe—but a good competent alpha.” When he looked back now, he saw how lucky he’d been in his pack, in his mentors. The female alpha had taught him everything. “We had nothing between us except the alpha bond, but I liked her.” Thyra wasn’t fit to lick her paws. “Breanne, I’m sorry.”

“It’s like the tie with Herne, isn’t it? If you have that—or something with the alpha female—you can’t bond with another woman.” She inhaled slowly before looking at Zeb.

“Being brothers, you’re tied to Thyra too. I understand. It’s nothing that you wanted.” Her face smoothed of al expression.

The only sounds were their footsteps on the path and the rustling of night creatures. Every time he looked at Breanne or Zeb, Shay thought his heart would crack open.
This
or Zeb, Shay thought his heart would crack open.
This
cannot happen
.

But al night, he’d fought against the bond with the alpha female—without success. When the pack was near, the tie to Thyra was a constant hum, like a magnet that had been turned on. He’d move away from her, but the minute his attention wavered, the bond puled them together.

How could he fix this?

Chapter Thirty-two

The next morning, Bree knelt behind the diner counter, filing the pastry goods shelves. The sweet scent of the pies and cakes made her empty stomach churn with nausea.

How could everything have gone so wrong? She’d had one soaring moment last night where she’d had a family and a home and then she’d been blown out of the sky. And she’d hit hard. Her whole body hurt.

As Angie bubbled cheerfuly about the new pack leader, Bree fought against screaming in anger—at Thyra and her gloating, at Angie and her happiness, at Shay for his blind honor. Heck, she wanted to yel at their stupid gods, as wel.

It’s not
fair
. Her hand fisted, crushing a strawberry-filed scone. As she opened her fingers, letting the red goo and scone. As she opened her fingers, letting the red goo and worthless crumbs fal onto the tray, she realized Angie had falen silent.

“Bree?”

She looked up at the older woman. “Thyra said she and Shay were…were like mates now. Zeb too. Shay tried to explain, but is it true?”

“Wel, by the Mother’s love!” Angie’s brows drew together. “I hadn’t thought about Thyra being alpha.”

“But?”

“She’s right. If an alpha male or female is already lifemated, those bonds can’t be broken, and the alpha’s mate becomes the new alpha female. Unfortunately, Shay isn’t lifemated, so pack instinct takes over, and the alphas become a couple. It’s a bond they can’t fight.” Angie rubbed her hands on her apron. “He realy can’t, Bree.” A couple. A bond. The words sliced into her chest. “And Zeb?”

“They’re brothers. Zeb wil feel the bond through Shay.” Angie’s eyes filed with sympathy. “I’ve seen them with you.

This must be ripping them into pieces.”

“I know.” She’d seen the desolation in Zeb’s face. Shay’s guilt…and grief. She wasn’t the only one hurting. Silently, she wiped the scone off her hand. Wel, she had her answers now. Fine. She could handle this. Hey, she’d never believed she’d end up with the men. Or a home.

she’d end up with the men. Or a home.

Would Thyra move into the lodge? The thought was horrendous. She blinked back tears. “I can’t stay there.”

“Come here,” Angie said instantly. “There’s only me and my daughter these days. I’ve got an extra room.” A friend. Bree puled in a slow breath. Even when everything else turned black, she’d always had friends.

Maybe they were the gods’ gifts to make up for everything else. She rose and hugged Angie hard. “Thank you. I’l get my stuff.”

* * *

Shay walked into the kitchen, and his hunger disappeared as the emptiness struck him again. Breanne’s absence was a reverberating ache inside him. Sometime earlier, the little wolf had colected her belongings while he and Zeb weren’t in the lodge. Her note said she’d moved to Angie’s.

He’d hurt her, dammit, hurt her badly. How fast could he fix this? He’d decided to ask the Cosantir to help him find a strong wolf from out of the territory. One who could hold the pack. Shay shook his head in bitter amusement. How many alphas could say they’d given away two packs?

He’d have to leave the territory, of course, since staying would undermine the new alpha. But he could be happy anywhere if Zeb and Breanne were with him.

anywhere if Zeb and Breanne were with him.

Footsteps sounded, and Thyra waltzed into the kitchen as if she owned the place. “Shay, I want you to take me out to eat tonight. The diner is having an Italian night.”

“No.” The pul wasn’t gone, dammit, and never would be, but as long as the pack wasn’t around, he could keep a distance.

“What do you mean?” With a baby-like pout, she ran her hand up his chest.

He felt himself respond in spite of his annoyance.

“Shay, did you get—” Zeb took in the sight and scowled.

“Never mind.”

“No, don’t go, a bhràthair. Thyra is leaving.” Shay set her to one side.

“I’m not,” she said. “I want to—”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Shay crossed his arms. “I can’t change the fact we’re both alphas. Or that we have to be together during pack times.” The next part made his gut tight.

“And we’l probably end up mating.” As the moon waxed, so would the bond between them. His jaw tightened. “But I don’t want you around here.”

“Shaaaay.”

The whine made his teeth grind together. He started to tel her what he thought of her and refrained. They needed to be able to work together for the good of the pack. “You aren’t my type, Thyra,” he finaly said. “We’re the alphas. There’s my type, Thyra,” he finaly said. “We’re the alphas. There’s nothing more between us.”

After a moment, her mouth twisted into something ugly.

“Who the hel would want you for anything else? I was just trying to make the best of this.” She shoved Zeb out of the way and stalked out of the kitchen. A few seconds later, the lodge door slammed so hard the building shook.

Zeb let out a laugh. “Got quite a way with the females, don’t you, brawd?”

The feeling of his fist against his brother’s jaw didn’t help at al.

* * *

The tiny meadow was quiet with not even a breeze to ruffle the dead grass. If Bree pushed the brown stalks apart, she could see green blades poking up from the dirt. New life.

But not for me
. She felt dead inside and out.

She’d left the guys a note after she packed. Cowardly, for sure. But she couldn’t face seeing their distress again.

Last night, Zeb had wanted to talk, but, for the first time, she’d locked her door. Wasn’t that funny? Even when she was half-afraid of him, she’d never thought of locking the door. No…that had waited until she loved him.

She tilted her head back. Overhead, a vulture circled, lazily riding the warmer air currents. It reminded her of Thyra.

Later today, she’d visit Calum. Surely, the Cosantir would find her new mentors and a different territory. With a sigh, she tossed a twig into the calm lake. It hit with almost no splash, and the ripples faded away before reaching the shore.

Like her time in Cold Creek, she’d created a slight disturbance, then would disappear.

In contrast, the effect of the men on her? Oh, now that was more like an avalanche, tearing up the mountainside, leaving black treeless rock behind. Sometimes nothing ever grew there again.

And, jeez, wasn’t she getting maudlin?

With a disgusted growl, she rose, picked up a massive branch, and threw it into the lake. The splash made a mini-tidal wave that tore away parts of the shore. She set her hands on her hips.
So there
.

Puling in a long breath, she gazed at the mountains around her. She’d miss the peaks, the forest, the creeks.

Undoubtedly, Calum would help her find somewhere nice to live, but stil…this had become home.

I don’t have a home. Or a family
. Again. Her chest hurt as she headed for the trail down the mountain.

Three wolves eased out of the forest, eyes focused on her.

Her heart thudded hard before she caught their scent.

Shifters. Angie, Jody, and Bonnie, the sheriff’s dispatcher.

Somehow, she doubted they were merely out for a run.

Had Angie told the others about what had happened? Would Had Angie told the others about what had happened? Would she have humiliation added to her misery?

“Ladies,” she said evenly.

They shifted. Angie smoothed out a place on the softer grass by the bank and eased down with a groan. “I ran more last night than in the previous month. This change of leadership is going to be the death of me.” Jody dropped down beside the older woman. Bonnie took the other side, picking a shady spot to protect her fair skin.

Al three looked up at Bree.

Three naked women. Life sure could get bizarre. “What’s up?”

“Sit,” Angie said testily. “You’re giving me a crick in my neck.”

Bree settled down where she could see al three.

Unfortunately, that left her feeling like her versus them.

Definitely outnumbered.

“Bree,” Bonnie started off in her soft voice. She was Tyler and Luke’s mother and awfuly gentle to be raising those little rascals. “Angie told us about your questions.”
I knew it
. Bree glared at Angie.

“Ah, no, don’t blame her,” Jody said, amusement in her rough voice. “Bonnie and I were having breakfast in the diner. We saw you leave.”

Bonnie shook her head. “Last night, we saw how hard Shay fought the alpha bonding. Alphas always stay together, Shay fought the alpha bonding. Alphas always stay together, but he kept moving to be with you. Zeb too.”

“Oh.” Bree felt the prick of tears and blinked them away.

“That’s nice to hear. But you don’t need to worry. I’m leaving soon, and they’l be okay.”

“By the Mother’s breasts, you got it al wrong. Listen, we talked and”—Jody shoved her short brown hair behind her ears—“I don’t know how to ask this politely. Would you be wiling to fight for your males? To chalenge the alpha female and take her place?”

“Fight Thyra?” Were they insane?

They al nodded.

“You might remember that she ripped me to pieces?” Bree said politely. “Or weren’t you watching?”

“Oh, I remember.” Jody grimaced and fingered a scar on her shoulder. “Been there, done that. I chalenged her a couple of years ago. And lost.”

Bree blinked. “But you’re stil here? I thought losers had to leave.” Gerhard and his brother had already moved out of Cold Creek. No one seemed unhappy.

Jody shrugged. “Males tend to move away, but they have that whole testosterone thing going. Females are more practical.”

“You weren’t keen on being alpha either,” Angie pointed out. “It wasn’t like Thyra destroyed your ambitions by winning the chalenge.”

winning the chalenge.”

“True. I just hate taking orders from a dimwit, and, since I’m lifemated, I wouldn’t have had to mate with Gerhard.” Her nose wrinkled. “Be like fucking carrion.” Bonnie choked on a laugh. “Bleah, Jody. Breanne, when you fought Thyra, you’d only been a shifter for al of—what

—two weeks?”

“Uh.” Bree tried to do the math. It seemed so long ago.

“A little less.”

The women waited.

“You’re thinking I was too new to win a fight with her?” Bree thought about how clumsy she’d been. How shocked stupid. Heck, she’d never even seen a dogfight.
Not my best
performance
. “True, I made it easy for her. But she’s also twice as big as me and a lot heavier.”

“More experience, yes. And bigger.” Angie’s gaze was direct. “She
counts
on being bigger.” Bree opened her mouth. Closed it. Turning, she stared at the lake. She’d had years of street brawls and karate tournaments. Bigger and heavier didn’t ensure a victory.

She’d actualy won more contests against large opponents than those her size. “Are you saying she doesn’t fight…

smart?”

Angie smiled like a teacher when a student finaly caught on. “Vicki says you fight as wel as she does. That kung fu stuff or whatever.”

stuff or whatever.”

Yeah, I’m just awesome with karate
. The momentary hope died. Fighting with teeth and paws rather ruined any skil in kicking and punching. “I don’t think karate quite translates into a wolf style.”

“Speed and cunning do, though,” Bonnie said. “I watched you with Lacey last night. You might be little, but you’re realy strong and so fast that she looked as if she was standing stil.”

“Speed doesn’t go far without experience,” Bree said.

“Without skil, you lose to size every time.” Jody leaned forward. “We can’t fight for you, but you can use us to practice on. Between us, we’ve watched and fought a lot of chalenges. We can give you tips. Point out where you could do better.”

Darned if hope wasn’t rising again.

Bonnie chewed on a lock of hair before admitting, “It wouldn’t be easy.”

None of the women matched Thyra’s size or weight, but they were al fairly large. Bree knew how to hone her body into a weapon, how to fight through pain and keep going.

Was it enough?

Did it matter? Could she give up Zeb and Shay without trying?