Winter's Touch (Immortal Touch Series) (27 page)

Her hands felt
like ice, and she clenched them.

“I know now. So I can let you go.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I have no choice.”

“I’ll come back to you,” she said quietly.

“No
. You will not. Eva, listen to me.
I can’t love you.
I’m not capable of that. I haven’t been for thirty years and I never will be. So you’re to go home to the people who do love you. You’ll resume your life, the one I stole from you. You’ll fall in love again and marry and have lots of beautiful red-haired babies and grow old with your husband. I can’t do that for you. You’ve known that all along.”

“Please don’t do this.” Eva shook all over in spite of the warm sable. Everything around her was breaking apart, falling in pieces to the ground, and she was powerless to stop it.
There was no way he could be doing this, he couldn’t be breaking her heart like this, he couldn’t. Not after she’d brought him so far.

He tried to hand her an envelope, but she refused to accept it so he
dropped it in her lap. “Your flight confirmation is in here, along with some money for cab fare to Fremont. I booked you a first class seat on United. There’ll be a brief layover in Denver but you should be in Lincoln within five hours.”

“No.”

“Take the skybridge to the passenger terminal. Go now.”

“No!”

“Eva, dammit, look at me!”

Sick to the depths of her soul, she met his eyes. And it was then that she knew
there was nothing she could say to change his mind. The cold blackness had returned to claim his eyes, hollow and empty and devoid of emotion. There was nothing left there. He was gone. She’d lost him.

“
Forget about me. Do not return to Oregon for any reason and do not try to contact me. Don’t look back and soon all this will seem like nothing more than a bad dream to you.”

Reaching
across her to open the car door, the last thing he said to her was, “You’re free, butterfly. Go. Fly away home.”

~
*~*~

It took every ounce of supernatural strength that he possessed not to turn back for the airport and retrieve her.

As it was, he sped the whole way home in an attempt to put as much distance as possible between them before he could capitulate. Over and over he reminded himself that what he did, he did for her. Nothing good could ever come of their relationship. He could never be what she wanted or needed. A husband, father to her children, companion to grow old with. She might not see that now, but in twenty years she would and he wouldn’t be able to bear the pain in her eyes.

Oh God, the pain in her eyes.

If she only knew how hard it had been for him to summon the darkness.

Once home he went straight up to her room, flinging open the closet door to stare aimlessly at the racks of clothing left behind. The things he’d bought for her. She’d arrived with the clothes on her back and that’s what he sent her home with. That, and the
sable and emeralds.

And the memories. How soon before
those were left behind as well? Before she put him from her mind? How soon before the radiant smile would return to her beautiful face?

Why won’t you admit that you can feel now?

He knew that her words would haunt him forever. Because the truth of it, the damnable agonizing torment of it all, was that he hadn’t sent her away because he couldn’t love her.

He sent her away because he did love her.

And he learned something then.

He learned that vampires can weep with all the anguish of a human.

CHAPTER
FIFTEEN

What Once Was
Home

It was dusk when the cab stopped in front of the house that was so familiar and yet so foreign. Eva paid the driver and stepped out onto the sidewalk with a sense of disquiet. For weeks she’d wanted nothing more than to be back home, and now that she was here it didn’t seem like home at all anymore. She stood at the front door for some time, trying to compose herself. What she really wanted was to bury herself in a crypt and hide.

Finally, she rang the doorbell.
Her key was still in her purse, wherever that now was.

From the other side, a
voice she knew as well as her own called, “Who is it?”

“Mom? It’s me.” Her voice cracked.

Abby threw the door open to stand before her, mouth agape, stunned. “Eva? Baby?”

“Hi, Mom.”

Eva was nearly knocked to the ground by the force of her mother’s hug. They stood there in the doorway, holding each other tightly until Abby burst into tears and cried into the fur in muffled sobs. “Oh my God, honey, I missed you so much! I was so worried, you have no idea...are you okay? You’re not hurt?”

“I’m fine.” Eva gently nudged her mother inside and closed the door behind them. “Please don’t cry. Everything’s all right, I promise.”

Sniffling, Abby wiped her eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, I’m okay.” What a monumental lie. She felt as if she’d never be okay again.

“Thank God! Thank God you’re okay. Oh, I’m so glad you’re home!”

“It’s good to see you, too.”

“I was scared to death something terrible had happened to you.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“What...what the heck are you
wearing?
”

“Ah
...nothing. Just a new coat.” Feeling rather foolish, she pulled the sable off and tossed it carelessly over the coat rack.

A worried
expression came over her mother’s face as she looked her up and down. But all she said was, “Why don’t I fix us a cup of hot chocolate? Then we can talk.”

“
Okay.”

Abby barely took her eyes off her daughter as she made the drinks. She seemed to be afraid that she might turn around to find her gone again.
A guilty sadness overcame Eva as she realized how rough the past few months must have been for her.

Setting two mugs on the kitchen table, Abby pulled out a chair to join her. “Now, young lady, suppose you tell me just where you’ve been all this time?”

Eva’s eyes filled with tears. “Mom, I really...I just don’t want to talk about it right now. I’m sorry. I can’t.”

“Sweetheart, if you’re in some kind of trouble, you know I’ll do whatever I can to help you. You don’t have to hide anything from me.”

“I know.”

“I’d never judge you. You know me better than that.”

“Mm-hm.” Eva covered her mouth to keep a sob from escaping.

Her mother’s eyes wandered to the necklace. “Honey, you haven’t been doing anything
...well, what I mean is...”

“No. Of course not.”

“Are you sure?”

“
It was a gift, Mom.”

Abby looked doubtful, but had the good grace not to argue. “Are you hungry? Can I get you something to eat?”

“No, thanks.” Underneath the table Rio appeared to rub against her legs, purring loudly. She picked him up and cuddled him. Thrilled by the attention, he pushed his white head against her and kneaded her thigh with his paws.

“You’re staying, aren’t you? You aren’t leaving again?”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Abby let out a long sigh. “Oh, baby. You have no idea how worried I’ve been.”

“I’m sorry, Mom. I really am. I never meant to worry you.”

“You look pale. Are you feeling all right?”

“Just tired.”

“Okay.
Well, I’m not going to bombard you with questions right now. You look like you need a good night’s sleep. Just promise me,
promise
me you’ll still be here in the morning. Will you do that for me?”

“Can I sleep in your bed? I don’t want to be alone.”

“Of course.” Her mother reached for her hand. “Eva, has someone hurt you?”

Yes
. “No. Really, I’m fine. I just missed you a lot, that’s all.”

“Everything’s going to be okay now. You’re home, and you’re safe. That’s all that matters.”

All that matters.
As if anything mattered anymore.

~
*~*~

Rather than joining the
rest of the family in Montana, they spent Christmas day alone together. Abby cooked a lovely meal that Eva had no appetite for, though she tried her best to put up a good front. It was obvious that her despondency was scaring her mother, so she tried for her sake to drag herself out of the depths of despair into which she’d fallen. What choice did she have? One way or another she had to readjust.

When Mary Ellen stopped by, she faked a migraine just to get rid of her. The sound of her chipper, happy voice grated on her nerves. She refused to take any
more phone calls from her friends.

Abby didn’t press her for information. Sensing that she needed time to heal, she gave her the space required. But the wounds weren’t healing,
and the arrival of her period only made her feel worse. As reckless as it might be, she’d been foolish enough to hope for that one remaining part of him. It wasn’t to be. And by the time December wound down her mother had run out of patience.

“
How long are you going to sit around here moping? Come on, you need to get out. There’s a New Year’s fireworks display tonight. Why don’t we go? It’ll be fun.”

“I’m really not up to it, Mom. Why don’t you go with Dr.
Reynolds? You said he was hinting at it.”

“
Well, yes. Not sure it’s such a good idea though, dating the doctor I’m working for.”

“He’s always been nice to you. I don’t think it could hurt.”

“Might make things awkward.”

“Do you like him?”

Abby looked embarrassed. “I have to admit, I’ve always kind of had a crush on him. I love watching him with the kids. He’s so sweet with them. But it’s silly - what would he ever see in me?”

“He asked you out, didn’t he?
In a roundabout sort of way.”

“That’s true.”

“I wish you’d get it through your head once and for all what an awesome catch you are. All men aren’t as stupid and shallow as Dad, you know.”

Abby looked surprised. “You haven’t called him ‘Dad’ in years.”

“Yeah, well, forgive and forget, that’s my motto. Anyway, he’s the one who has to live with his choices, not you.
You
have the opportunity to move forward. He’s stuck in neutral with the mistakes he’s made.”

“So you think I ought to call
Grant?”

“Absolutely.”

“All right then, I’ll do it.” Resolute, Abby plucked her cell phone from the charger. “Oh, by the way, there’s a package for you in the kitchen. It came while you were still sleeping.”

A package?
“Who’s it from?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t notice.”

Eva wandered into the kitchen, where she immediately spotted the cardboard box on the counter. Nothing special about it, just an ordinary, run-of-the-mill brown box that came express mail. A late Christmas present, maybe? Surely not from her father. He hadn’t sent her anything in years. Besides, the return address was...

Oh. Oh, God.

Brightwood, Oregon.

Carrying the
package into her room as if it were a ticking time bomb, she sat on the edge of the bed and opened it with trembling hands. There was no note anywhere inside. But carefully packed within layers and layers of bubble wrap was what appeared to be an intricately carved wooden box. Puzzled, she pulled it out and studied the designs. Butterflies. It
would
have to be butterflies.

And the instant she opened it, she recognized the
beautiful melody that floated sweetly from what she hadn’t realized was a customized music box.

It was her requiem.

And then the tears came.

~
*~*~

Never had he so desperately wanted to tear someone apart.

As it was, he was hunting early to alleviate the lust somewhat. If he waited until the hunger hit, there would be no controlling the rage that was already surging within him to mask his despair. He never should have made that promise to her. To abandon his basest instincts...when a predator was precisely what he was! What had he been thinking? And yet, not once did he consider abandoning his oath. His word of honor was all he could give her.

What he needed now was to inflict pain. To displace the agony he felt onto someone, anyone. To
hurt.

After all, wasn’t that the nature of the beast?

~*~*~

“Are you ready to talk?”

Abby sat beside her tearful daughter on the carpeted bedroom floor, arm around her while Eva rested her head on her mother’s shoulder.

“I don’t understand.”