WISHBONE (29 page)

Tears streamed down Rachael’s face, she yelled at Sarah, though she knew there would be no explanation, her voice reaching a blood curdling pitch. “What happened? What was he doing?”

Sarah’s rocking became more frenetic as she mumbled and absently looked up at some leaves fluttering from a long branch weighted by ripe apples. 

“You just stand there!” she yelled. “You just fucking watch!” Rachael made the slightest attempt to turn Julien over, causing him agonizing pain. Relieved to hear him make a sound,
any sound
, she wasn’t sure if she should apologize or thank God; she released him immediately. 

“You have to get up, Jules,” she said. “What happened? What did you do, baby?”

A gurgling sound escaped him and he choked; blood, dark and thick with sputum, splattered the grass beside his mouth.

 “I’m sorry,” she bawled. “I’m so sorry.” Her guilt and shame, the sight of him, the chaos; it felt like something had eaten a hole through her heart. “I can call Dr. Lind…”

Sarah took a step back.

“…the ambulance…I’ll call an ambulance.” Rachael reached out to touch him but thought better of it, and pulled her hands in toward herself, unsure.

Julien did not respond.

“Jules!” she screamed, her panic rearing again. “Tell me what to do? How do I help you?” She wiped at her face with a shirtsleeves. “I don’t know what’s happening.”

She tore out the grass on either side of her in a violent burst of frustration. “What the hell were you trying to do?” she stammered.

Julien lay unmoving. He could feel his lungs taking on fluid.

I can’t breathe.

It’s easier to die.

She will never stop.

He envisioned his own imminent death.

A welcome moment it will be.

Rachael crouched close and whispered softly, “Julien…please. Baby, please tell me what to do? I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how I’ll explain this.”

Rachael recalled their conversation on the night Julien had come from the barn, beaten without explanation. She still did not know what to believe, but she knew what
Julien
believed.  She had witnessed him moving toward the trees in a way not humanly possible and certainly not on a broken leg.
Could it be true? His father manifesting? How could that be? How is that possible?
Her mind reeled at a dizzying rate and she moved instinctively to hold him in her arms, but she knew she would only hurt him.

He choked and she watched his lips inaudibly mouth the words, “Go away.” 

Rachael sat up.
What have I done?
She remained beside him for a moment, his words replaying in her mind endlessly.
He hates me. I deserve to be hated.
She had no excuse for her behavior and the choices she had made, and now she could not fathom where the behavior had come from, or what could make her act in this way. It was as if she had no control over herself any longer.

She waved silently to gain Sarah’s attention, then pointed to Julien and patted the ground.  Sarah did as instructed and came closer, sensing that Rachael was no longer angry. 

Rachael got to her feet and Sarah exchanged places with her, sitting on the ground beside Julien and watching Rachael walk away calmly. Sarah cocked her head for a better view of Julien’s face. He lay there, eyes closed, breathing compromised. Gently, she pet his hair. He didn’t make a sound, or tell her to go away, like he had to Rachael. She lowered herself to lie in the grass, facing him. Julien opened his eyes just enough for Sarah to see a hint of their olive green color. She smiled, oblivious to the severity of the situation. 

Julien found her hand resting directly beside his in the grass. He moved his fingers over hers. Slowly he dragged it closer to his chest, holding it pressed to his body. Once again, he closed his eyes. If he was going to die, he was suddenly afraid to be alone.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Rachael stood before the art studio closet quickly tossing items aside to reveal her hiding place at the back of a supply shelf. She found the small box once containing acrylic paint. She removed one of nine accumulated wishbones, which she and Sarah had begun storing in advance of their need. Rachael no longer felt content preparing the bones wish by wish and preferred to hoard a stockpile. She returned each item to its proper location and left the room. She paused briefly at the base of the staircase and listened for the baby. The upper level of the house was quiet. She picked up her pace and rushed out the front door. 

She rounded the corner of the house preparing her wish. She saw Sarah, lying close to Julien in the grass; a knot formed in the pit of her stomach. She chastised herself for the surge of jealousy crowding her thoughts as Julien lay there on the brink of death. She had no right to be jealous. She was to blame for everything. She wondered if he would ever speak to her again, nevertheless pack his bags and leave her the moment he could physically walk away. She slowed her pace and the thought of Julien wanting to get back at her for all she had done crept back into her conscience. Seeing him beside Sarah and knowing they were growing closer—
he could easily take Jessica away with Sarah at his side
. She approached the grass and saw he was clutching the girl’s hand. The gurgling sound escaped Julien’s lungs again; the blood bubbling from his lips, now a frothy pink foam. She watched his back heave with short, jerking gulps of air. She was panicked and torn. The only thing she knew for sure was that Jessica had a right to live out her life; a life that Julien could easily take away.

She couldn’t think about it anymore. Thinking only rendered her more confused and afraid. Julien took care of her during her darkest hours; she owed him this. She returned to her husband where she knelt beside him. She tenderly placed one hand on his back and held the wishbone above him in the other. She gave a nod to Sarah and closed her eyes.

Sarah refused to take her hand away from Julien’s grasp and had to contort her body to bring her free arm out from under to take an awkward hold on the bone. She did not close her eyes, but waited for Rachael’s signal.

Tink!

Rachael tossed her half of the bone into the trees behind her without so much as a glance for its size—
Julien is the only one winning the game today and Sarah will make sure of it
. 

Sarah twirled the other half between two fingers, studying it as if it were something new.

Looking down upon Julien, Rachael wiped dry her swollen eyes. She looked up at Sarah; the pangs of jealousy threatening to return.
He doesn’t want me…his wife
. 
He was afraid of her…now he holds her hand. Sarah…the little retarded girl he wanted nothing to do with.
 

Rachael rapidly sank into martyrdom. She believed she deserved whatever punishment Julien would bestow upon her. She no longer had control over her haphazard thinking or erratic reasoning and she was well aware of it. The mood swings and battle between good and evil going on within her was tormenting and fast becoming unbearable.

“Stay with him,” Rachael told Sarah as she got to her feet. Why had she bothered to say it? The girl would have remained beside Julien regardless of Rachael’s instruction. She walked back to the house and immediately went to Jessica’s crib. Careful not to wake her sleeping daughter, she carried the baby to the bedroom where she crawled into bed, wondering if Jessica would still be in her protective arms when she woke.

* * * *

The air was thick with humidity. Large droplets sporadically pelted Julien’s cheeks. The rain gained momentum and he opened his eyes to find Sarah laying there awake, staring at him.

We’re outside.

We’re in the grass.

Jérome…

The events of his last altercation with his father came back to him. He ached from a night beneath the trees on the cold, hard ground. He released Sarah’s hand and raised his upper body to have a look around. More details flooded his memory and he turned onto his side, able to move more easily than he had in weeks. 

It’s gone.

Still dressed in a one-legged pair of sweatpants, his bare leg was void of the device he had fallen to the grass wearing the night before. Swiftly, he flipped over in disbelief and sat up.  Sarah sat up beside him. He looked at her, then back at his leg. He traced angry red scars with his fingers as he pondered the wording of their wish. Quickly overcome by the urge to get up, he decided he didn’t care how she had worded it, so long as the apparatus was removed. Fearfully, he took a step; the rain was picking up intensity. He felt only a slight sensation of soreness. He took a few more steps toward the very tree he had been violently thrown against. A palm to its bark, he gained confidence in his stability as he circled the tree in awe. Satisfied, he turned back to a beaming Sarah, her hair and dress quickly soaking up the rain.   

With a wink and a grateful smile, Julien mouthed the words, “Thank you.”

Sarah stood up, joyously pleased with herself, she went to him. The dismal gray sky flashed bright with sheet lightening.

“Come on Sarah, we should go in the house.”   

Sarah reached up and took his hand with purposeful fervor. Julien, taken aback and concerned by the adamancy of her grasp, forced himself to dismiss his apprehension and allowed the girl to hold on as they walked around to the front of the house. They entered the living room; Julien fending off a subtle limp. He now assumed Rachael’s phrasing of the wish had expedited his healing, though it was clear he had still experienced the surgery and was in the recuperation stage. He assumed once again that Rachael had not thought through the wording of her wish, confirming for him her carelessness with the dangerous game.

He looked to Sarah standing doe-eyed beside him. She was glued to him and he wasn’t sure what to do with her.

“Sarah, do you want to go tend to the chickens?” he asked. He took his hand back from her and she furrowed her brow, reaching for his hand again. 

Julien laughed nervously. “Come on sweetie, let me go,” he coaxed. “I need to go upstairs and speak with Rachael…change…shower.” He tried to reason with her, but she only grinned back at him and forcibly took his hand again.

“Look Sarah,” he tried, stepping back and forth from one leg to the other. “All better.  Good. No more.” He looked into her brown eyes. “I’m okay now. You can…you can…” He fumbled for words, “…go back to the chickens…”

Or whatever you used to do all day
.

Sarah’s brow creased again. She squeezed his hand tighter.

Great!
 

He rolled his eyes. “Okay, come here,” he walked her around to the front of the sofa where he encouraged her to sit. “I’ll be right back. You wait here. I’ll go…” He pantomimed bathing. “Stay…okay?” He backed away fully expecting her to follow, but she remained seated, following him only with her eyes as he climbed the stairs. 

Julien moved down the hallway wondering if the limp would be permanent, though thankful to be walking and void of the device; he could bear almost any residual effect in exchange.

He arrived at the open bedroom door where he saw Rachael sleeping on their bed; baby Jessica stirring in her arms. He entered the room and moved toward them. Rachael’s eyes shot open and she bolted upright, expressly swooping Jessica through the air. The baby began to wail and Julien took a step back.

Rachael bellowed, “Don’t touch her!” She didn’t look down at the screaming infant, but kept her eyes locked on him.

Julien froze in place, his hands up in retreat, attempting to reassure her. The frantic look in Rachael’s eyes served as a warning; she could return him to his previous state with the snap of another wishbone and he would not allow himself to forget it. He moved slowly, squatting a few inches up and down to show her the success of her wish. The frenzied expression on her face diminished; though she remained apprehensive.

“Rach, we have to get past this. What I am supposed to do?” he asked and pointed to the bed as if asking permission to sit. She shook her head refusing to allow him any closer. 

You have to get near her. 

You have to win her over.

He played up his discomfort, limping a few steps to the side and taking hold of the dresser as if to need assistance.

The more damaged she believes you are…

… the more she will let down her guard…

…the less likely she will feel the need to make it worse.

Rachael watched him closely. Her voice was monotone and void of attachment, “I’m sorry. I didn’t think…I thought you would be back to normal. I don’t remember how I phrased it.” 

He waved a dismissive gesture through the air.

“Just to be able to walk,” he said with gratitude. “I came to thank you.”

Rachael refused to blink. She swallowed hard, her mouth dry; her trepidation unwavering. “You’re welcome.”

The baby continued to cry; though her decibel level had decreased. Julien pointed to her asking, “Is she okay?”

Rachael nodded, then glanced down at the baby who began sucking on her two middle fingers and lulling herself back to sleep. “She’s fine.”

Julien took an awkward step toward the bed. “Please, can I sit with you?”

Rachael slid to the far side of the bed. She flipped back the comforter and dangled one leg to the ground in preparation for a fast getaway. She watched him moving toward the bed and craned her neck to have a look at his leg, but she was too late and he sat passively on its edge.

“You got what you wanted,” she stated. “Now we’re both happy…it’s fair.”  She hugged the baby tighter, unaware of her own actions.

Julien watched her arms draw in against the baby’s back and he wished he could take Jessica safely away from her. Rachael was manic and unaware of her own actions.

“Rachael, I’m not going to take the baby from you,” he said with the utmost sincerity. “I promise you I will never wish Jessica away.” He heard himself saying the words and felt a release of internal tension he hadn’t known was there. He felt immediately lighter, having made the decision spontaneously. Jessica was his daughter and in his heart he knew then that she would be going nowhere. The animal who attacked Rachael that December night was the person responsible for altering destiny. Rachael’s wish to bring Jessica back was as much
righting a wrong
as his resurrecting Matt and Lily.