Wishing on Willows: A Novel (33 page)

Robin thought about the puppy’s floppy ears, its oversized paws. She
had
been thinking about getting Caleb a pet for his birthday. Sure, she’d planned on starting with something easier, like a goldfish or a gerbil, but a dog would be so much fun. “Did you see Caleb’s face?”

“He was definitely excited.” Another step.

Her airway pressed in on itself, like the walls of this shrinking room.

“If you’re worried about being the bad guy, I can break the news to him. We can take a walk and then I’ll figure out a plan.”

Robin cocked her head. “How’d you end up with a dog in the first place?”

But Ian didn’t answer. Instead, he took her hand. Held it up. And she stopped breathing for a second. “What happened to your ring?”

She brought her arm behind her back, heart thumping inside her chest.

“You always wear it.” His voice was so low and he was standing so close. And her head was spinning and her thoughts were tangling. “You’re always fiddling with it,” he said.

She swallowed. “It’s a long story.”

He scanned her again, from her wet head to her wet shoes. Why, of all days, did she have to choose this one to go jump in a pond? A high-pitched bark slipped beneath the crack of the kitchen door, followed by Caleb’s laughter. She didn’t want to say no to something that produced such a wonderful sound, but Ian made a good point. Did she have time to take responsibility for a living creature right now? “How about we make a deal?”

“A deal could be good.”

“We take the puppy home and see how it goes. If it ends up being too much, I have your permission to call and you will take him back.”

“You’re sure?”

A fresh round of Caleb’s giggles sounded from the café. “Positive.”

Really, now hard could it be?

Robin chased after the dog, Caleb close on her heels as the little terror skidded around the corner of the hallway, a ribbon of tissue trailing behind him. The fur ball bounded down the stairs, paws slipping against the hardwood, and dashed toward the kitchen. Robin caught up with the animal, scooped it up in her arms, and gave the puppy a firm shake.

“No.” She pried the ruined roll of toilet paper from its mouth.

Sharp puppy teeth nipped at her knuckles. Only this time, Robin did not laugh.

“No,” she said again.

The dog let out a playful yip. Caleb tugged on her shirt and held out his hands. She handed the critter over. “Take him to the backyard.”

He hugged the puppy to his chest, its legs dangling past his hips, and giggled while the animal showered his face in puppy-breath kisses. Unlike her, Caleb relished in the chaos.

“Make sure the gate is closed,” she called after him.

She placed her hand on top of her head and surveyed the disaster zone. In a matter of three hours, the tiny beast had ruined a shoe, peed twice on her Persian rug, and crashed into an end table, toppling over one of her mother’s blown-glass vases. The heirloom had fallen to the ground and shattered. She could only lose so many of her mother’s things in one day.

She sank onto the sofa and blew out a breath. Her bangs billowed out from her forehead. She checked her watch. How much would Ian laugh if she called him three hours after striking that deal in her kitchen? Swallowing
her pride, she took out the scrap of paper folded inside her pocket and pressed each number on the phone’s keypad. He answered after the first ring.

“Not working out?”

“Now I know why the Bible says looks are deceiving. That thing is a heathen.”

Ian’s laugh was just as rich through the phone line. “It can’t be that bad.”

“Marley has nothing on this dog.”

“Are you relinquishing the puppy?”

“Unless I want everything in my home destroyed, I’m afraid I’m going to have to. You can meet us at …” Her thought fell away. Amanda’s car was at the farm while Evan replaced the starter and Robin had let Amanda leave with her car an hour ago to have dinner with some friends in Iowa City. Which meant Robin was stranded.

“Robin? You still there?”

“You know where I live. If you’re not here in ten minutes, I’m calling animal control.”

Ian laughed again. “I’ll be there in five and don’t call anyone.”

She dropped the receiver onto the cushion and rested her head against the sofa’s backrest. Ian was coming to her home. The thought made her feel as though a roller coaster were zooming around in her stomach. She hurried to the kitchen and poked her head out the window. Caleb ran in circles while the puppy chased after his flyaway shoelaces.

She spent five frantic minutes racing around the house, picking up toys and shoes and stray socks. Caleb was already a tornado on his own. What made her think she could add a four-legged monster to the mix? Robin stopped in front of her mantle and picked up the framed picture from her wedding day. She looked so young and invincible in her husband’s arms, as if their love could conquer the world, as if it would last forever.

I’m sorry, Micah
.

Brushing her fingers over his face, she walked the picture frame into the bathroom, laid it gently on the bathroom counter, and checked her reflection in the mirror. At least she no longer had pond water soaked through her
clothes or dirt beneath her fingernails. She straightened her hair and her hand stopped. She blinked at her finger.

“It’s really gone.”

When the whispered words finally sunk in, Robin pulled back her shoulders and met her gaze in the mirror. “It was just a ring. There are more important things.”

The phone rang in the living room.

She hurried to the couch and plucked the receiver off the cushion. “I thought you said five minutes.”

“Robin? Is that you?”

A man’s voice, but not Ian’s.

“Oh, Evan. Sorry. I thought you were somebody else.”

“We’re on our way to the emergency room.”

Her posture went stiff. “What?”

“It’s Elyse.”

“What’s wrong with her?”

“She’s having a really hard time breathing.”

Robin’s hands turned clammy.

“Bethany wants you to come.”

“Of course. I’ll meet you there.” With the phone clutched between her ear and shoulder, she raced toward her shoes. She hopped on one foot while shoving the other into her boot. A bark floated inside the kitchen window. Caleb! What was she supposed to do with Caleb? Her son couldn’t go to the NICU with her. And her car. Amanda had her car in Iowa City.

The doorbell rang.

She jogged into the living room and threw open the door. Ian stood on her front stoop with his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels.

“Elyse is sick,” she said.

The rocking stopped. “Who?”

“Elyse. Evan and Bethany’s baby. I told them I’d meet them at the hospital, but Amanda has my car and I don’t have anyone to watch Caleb. Or
the puppy.” Robin cupped her forehead with her hand. “Evan said she isn’t breathing right.”

“Take a deep breath. It’s going to be okay.” Ian stepped inside her home. “You get your other shoe on. I’ll go get Caleb. Do you have an extra car seat?”

“A booster in the garage.”

“Okay then. The puppy can hang out in the backyard, and I’ll drive the three of us to the hospital.”

Caleb slurped the rest of his drink through a straw until the leftovers rattled. Ian examined the little boy’s eyes, his face, and chin. He looked nothing like Robin and everything like Evan. Caleb pushed the drink away and smacked his lips. “Mommy never ever lets me have pop.”

“Consider this a special treat.” Ian wanted to make the kid happy. Keep him distracted. He didn’t want him worrying about his baby cousin, who had been admitted into the NICU forty-five minutes ago.

“Can we go look at the babies now?”

Ian reached for his billfold. “How about I buy you another pop?”

The little boy held up two fingers. “I already had two ones.”

“What about a candy bar?”

He shook his head. “I want to see the babies.”

Ian closed his billfold. Caleb wanted to leave the hospital cafeteria. Not for the waiting room or the halls or the elevators. Of all places, the boy had set his mind on the nursery. Ian sighed. “All right. We can go see the babies.” Chances were, they wouldn’t even be allowed up there.

Caleb jumped off the chair and pulled Ian toward the elevators. The warmth of Caleb’s hand inside Ian’s large palm filled him with a longing he’d never quite conquered. He always wanted to be a father. Growing up with a dad who took him to the batting cage and let him pretend to shave at the sink made Ian excited to do the same with his own kids someday.

The little boy hummed a tune Ian didn’t recognize inside the elevator
and bounced on his toes. He pushed the button for an elderly couple who joined them on the third floor and got out on the fourth. The bell dinged and the elevators slid open on the fifth. Caleb tugged on his arm, but Ian didn’t move. Caleb tugged harder, his cheeks puffing up with exertion until he stopped and hugged his cast. “Does your tummy hurt?”

Ian shook his head.

“Can we go see the babies now?”

He could do this. It was just a hospital nursery. Taking a deep breath, he stepped out of the elevator and led them both toward the nurses’ station, half hoping the curly-haired lady dressed in scrubs would stop him. She only smiled warmly as they passed. Ian would have been content standing near the wall while Caleb smudged his face against the window, but the window was too high. The boy jumped on his toes, trying to see, until Ian lifted him beneath his armpits and a very happy Caleb pressed his hands against the glass.

A young nurse swaddled a newborn with a pink hat. She caught sight of him and Caleb and waved. Ian could imagine what they looked like. He, the proud father. Caleb, the big brother. He shook away the thought and focused on the other baby lying in a bassinet, his tiny, wrinkled finger poking out from the top of the receiving blanket.

Something about the sight of that blue cap unleashed two years’ worth of suppressed questions. Ian tried to push them away, but they came too fast, too forcefully. Had his child been a boy or a girl? Would it have had his detached earlobes? Cheryl’s upturned nose? His crooked pinkies? He bent his head toward the glass and let himself imagine what he never let himself imagine. A button nose and the curve of two tiny ears. A head of baby-soft hair that matched the color of his own. The child would be walking by now, maybe even running. They’d read books together and go to the park and a couple baseball games every summer. Ian pressed his forehead against the thick pane and watched the nurse tuck the baby girl inside her bassinet.

“There you are.” Robin’s breathless voice broke through his thoughts.

He set Caleb down.

“I was looking all over.” Her eyes sparkled, like the sun reflecting off the
ocean. “Elyse is going to be fine. They have her hooked to oxygen and she’s already doing much better.”

He tried to say something like “that’s good” or “I’m glad.” But the words got stuck, trapped behind the questions he let himself ask and the picture he let himself create. Questions that would never be answered and a picture that was lost two years ago.

“I guess she has RSV, but Evan and Bethany got her here early.” Robin ran her hand through her hair. “Thanks for watching Caleb, Ian. Thanks for bringing us. I’m not sure what I would’ve done without you.”

He settled on a nod and looked away. From her and Caleb. From the babies behind the glass. And when the knot in his throat only grew bigger, he shoved his hands in his pockets and stepped away.

“Hey. You okay?”

“Yeah. Just need some air.” He turned to leave, but she grabbed the sleeve of his shirt.

“Ian?”

He twisted his arm from her grip, suddenly very eager to escape. He didn’t want to be here anymore. Not next to all these babies on this particular day. “I’m fine. I … Will you be all right if I leave?”

“Sure. I can take Bethany’s car home. They’re staying the night.”

“Okay, good.” He turned and strode to the elevators. He didn’t say good-bye, and he didn’t look back.

What had just happened? Was Ian angry at her for leaving her son with him while she disappeared to the NICU? Robin crouched beside Caleb, who stood on his tiptoes, fingers clasped to the ledge of the nursery window, nose poking over the top. She looked too, her heart pinching at the sight of the two little ones on the other side.