With Abandon: With or Without, Book 3 (25 page)

While Keaton grumbled about Chay being bossy, Aubrey looked at the screen. It was a couple of pack members he’d asked to patrol the area around Reynolds Hall. “They’re pack.” Could it be word on Boskie?

“Why don’t they just use the pack key code and come in?”

“I changed the pack code last night because of Boskie and haven’t given the new code out yet.” Aubrey hit the button on the inside of his desk to buzz them in.

Keaton and Chay followed him to the front door.

Chay slapped him on the back. “We got this. You go get dressed and go after Matt.”

“Thanks.” Aubrey hurried up the stairs and into his room. It was so quiet without Matt here. His absence felt strange…wrong. Aubrey still didn’t know what to do once he found Matt, but he had to try. If he were honest it wasn’t just because of the danger Matt could be in. Hell, he didn’t think Boskie would fly all the way to New Mexico over a bruised ego, but he wasn’t taking any chances with his mate’s safety.

With no time to waste, he threw on a shirt and some shoes. As he picked up his keys from the dresser, a metallic scent drifted in through the open doors, getting stronger and stronger.
Blood.
Oh no. His senses didn’t reel from it, which meant it wasn’t Matt’s blood, but… “Keaton? Chay?”

Voices rose from the foyer. Aubrey recognized his two pack members’ scents and another that smelled vaguely familiar. It was a wolf scent, but he couldn’t put his finger on who it belonged to.

Keaton met him at the bottom of the staircase. “They found this guy. Said he’d been attacked and dumped on the edge of our property just outside marked pack land.”

Chay, Stan Zewbroski and Harry Croft knelt by the man, but due to their position Aubrey could see only his legs.

“Aubrey.” Stan stood, focusing his attention on Aubrey. “I don’t know who he is, but he smells like pack and Boskie. He doesn’t look like he’s been seriously hurt, but there’s blood on his shirt, and he’s out like a light. I’m guessing he was roughed up somewhere else and dumped here.”

“Son of a bitch.” Aubrey pushed the men aside. “Carson.” He’d been changed into a wolf, which altered his scent slightly. That’s why Aubrey hadn’t recognized him by smell. Aubrey dropped to his knees beside his EA. Aubrey’s pulse raced a mile a minute. Carson had been in Atlanta yesterday when Aubrey talked to him. When did Boskie take him?

“The guy Matt stuck up for?” Keaton asked.

“Yeah.” Aubrey brushed a lock of hair off Carson’s forehead. He looked rumpled and dirty but no different than usual.

“You know this man?” Harry asked.

Aubrey nodded. “He’s my executive assistant. And was very much human when I saw him last. Was there anyone else out there? Did you see a taxi go by?”

Stan nodded. “Drove by right before we found him.”

That didn’t ease Aubrey’s mind much. Boskie could’ve followed Matt. The man was out of his mind. To attack Carson and dump him on pack land proved he was capable of anything. “Okay, get him to a room and cleaned off.” He motioned for Harry to take Carson’s shoulders. Chay grabbed Carson’s legs.

“Keaton, I have to try and see if Matt bought a ticket for that flight. There’s no way I can catch him now.”

“Go. I got this.” Keaton pounded up the stairs behind the other men.

Aubrey took a deep breath and tried to focus. “Stan, get me more pack out here.” He realized he was gritting his teeth and forced himself to stop. “I want Boskie found. He couldn’t have gotten that far. Call Jarred and have him start a search at his place and head over here.”

“Yes, sir.” Stan pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed.

“Stan, does Ronny Swanzy still work at the airport?”

Stan nodded and immediately began talking to someone.

Aubrey picked up his phone and dialed Matt again on his way to the office. It went straight to voice mail so he hung up.

Just as he sat in the desk chair, a knock sounded at the front door. Setting his phone down, Aubrey stood back up and inhaled. Could it be—? “Son of a bitch.” It couldn’t be this easy.

Stan beat him to the door by a second. The look he turned on Aubrey said he too realized who had knocked.

Aubrey took several steps back and nodded at Stan to open the door.

Only Boskie’s pathetic appearance kept Aubrey from attacking him. Boskie stood on the porch, his head hanging down and shoulders hunched over, looking like he’d been in a fight with a wildcat. He didn’t have any noticeable physical injuries, but his clothes and hair were a mess. There were bags under his bloodshot eyes when he looked up at Aubrey.

“Is he here? Did he make it here?” He sounded panicked, and the smell of his fear was staggering.

“What do you want me to do with him, boss?” Stan bared his teeth, never taking his attention from Boskie. He could spring at any moment.

Boskie ignored Stan and started forward. His expression was so hopeless and pleading Aubrey nearly felt sorry for him. “Aubrey, I have to know. Did Carson make it here all right?”

Grabbing Orin’s arm, Stan jerked him back.

“It’s okay, Stan.” Aubrey waved the man away. “Stop bullshitting me, Orin. You better start talking. I’m this close”—Aubrey held his fingers and thumb about an inch apart—“to killing your sorry ass. I’ve told you in no uncertain terms to leave Carson alone. Not only is this the second time you’ve attacked him, but you’ve threatened my mate now as well. I’m done talking.”

Boskie shook his head frantically. “No. I didn’t attack him. I was just—” His head dropped again, and he fell to his knees. “Forgive me.” He bared his throat, showing his submission, and started rambling again. “He’s here? He’s okay? I was trying to bring him to you after I changed him. I tried to tell him what I did and why, but he freaked out on me. He jumped out of the car while it was still moving. I stopped, but he was so upset. He wouldn’t even let me make sure he wasn’t hurt. He took off running. When I realized he was headed here, I just let him go to keep him from hurting himself more.”

“Wait, are you saying you didn’t beat him up and dump him on pack land?”

“What? No. I was rough, I admit it, but…” Boskie lowered his gaze again.

“How did he end up being changed?”

“When he wouldn’t see me, I went to him. I cut him and myself and— I didn’t beat him up, Aubrey. I scared him, but I just thought if Carson were a wolf he’d understand. If he could know the mating bond, he’d stop—” Letting out a sigh, he dropped his head again.

Aubrey had never witnessed Boskie be anything but cocky and overbearing. He wouldn’t have believed it if he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes. This was no act. Orin was distraught. Something inside Aubrey softened. He waved Stan, who was hovering over Boskie, off again. He understood all too well the panic that set in with facing the loss of a mate. He felt it now. He wanted Matt.

Running his hands through his hair, Aubrey took a deep breath. Being the responsible pack leader was tiring. No wonder his dad wanted to retire.

Aubrey didn’t pretend to get why Orin had cheated on his mate to begin with, especially knowing how she would react when she found out. This whole thing could’ve been avoided just by keeping his dick in his pants. Shaking his head, Aubrey grabbed Orin under the arm and hauled him up.

Stan was on Boskie’s other side in an instant. “If you were so concerned about keeping Marina from finding out, why did you do it in the first place?”

Shrugging, Boskie stepped back. “I couldn’t help myself. I never meant to hurt her, but I couldn’t let him go. The bond was just too overwhelming.”

What?
Aubrey gaped like a fish but couldn’t seem to help it. “Are you telling me that Carson is your mate?”

Boskie nodded. “You have a guy for a mate too, don’t you? Isn’t that what you meant earlier? About me hitting the pretty boy who was trying to help Carson? I’m sorry, Aubrey, it will never happen again.”

“Uh, yeah.” Whoa.
Aubrey was still stunned. He had no idea what to do. This was going to hurt a lot of people. Orin had been married to Marina for over thirty years. She was considered pack. Boskie’s sons were pack members. Jesus, he couldn’t deal with this right now. Matt may no longer be in danger, but this mess made Aubrey want to see him more. He was not going to screw up his mating as bad as Boskie had. He needed to get a flight to New Mexico. “Go home. And stay away from Carson. We’ll figure something out, but I will not have you scaring him further.”

“But—”

Aubrey arched a brow.

“He’s mine.”

“I understand that, but you’ll do things on his terms. If he’s your mate, he’ll feel the connection as much as you do. You need to go home and decide what you’re going to do. What you’re going to tell your family.” Aubrey turned toward his office but stopped short. He did not envy Boskie. He didn’t envy himself at the moment either. Orin wasn’t the only one who’d made mistakes with their mate, but something told him getting Matt back was going to be a hell of a lot easier than the road Orin had ahead of him. “If he’s still out of it, you can see him, but I want you gone before he wakes.”

Aubrey found Ronny’s number and called him. Thankfully he had such a large and diverse pack. It was nice having connections. As the phone rang he pulled up his address book on his laptop and located the number to the private charter service they used to fly their executives around. He was going to get his mate and bring him back.

“Hello?” Ronny answered his phone.

“Ronny? This is Aubrey. Can you check and see if someone bought a ticket for a flight and if they’ve checked in yet?”

“Sure. Let me get back to my desk. Who do you need to locate?”

Aubrey closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with a shaking hand. Matt’s gorgeous laughing face flashed into his mind. He couldn’t live without Matt. Deep down, he’d known it all along, but now Matt had forced his hand and he had no choice except to admit it. Mom, Dad, Reynolds Inc. and responsibility be damned. He was keeping Matt. His responsibility was to his mate…if his mate would have him back.

“My mate, Ronny. I need to find out if my mate’s flight has left for New Mexico already.”

Chapter Seventeen

“Matt, we stopped.” Scott, Matt’s seven-year-old brother, reached over Darren’s head and tapped Matt’s arm.

Matt used his foot to get the swing going in a gentle sway. His arm had fallen asleep ten minutes ago, but he wouldn’t dream of moving it and chance waking Eddie up. He liked having the baby in his lap. Tucking a lock of dark hair behind Eddie’s ear, he pulled Darren closer to his side.

How could anyone leave a child who’d just turned three alone to fend for himself? It was completely incomprehensible to him. When he’d gotten the call, he’d been terrified for his brother. Then he’d been mad because he couldn’t get anyone on the phone to go check on Eddie. He’d finally gotten a hold of his dad’s best friend Bambi—who’d raced over to the house—and hurt had set in. After he’d been sure Eddie was in the hands of a responsible adult, which was about the time he got on the plane, he’d wavered back and forth between disbelief and hatred. When he’d gotten home to discover she’d left for good—because all her things were gone—and Dad was passed-out drunk on the couch, Matt had gotten pissed all over again. But now, sitting with his younger brothers on the back-porch swing, he was kind of numb.

“Wow. Are they asleep?” Logan sat on the other end of the swing and stretched his free arm across the backrest.

“I’m not.” Scott climbed into Logan’s lap and laid his head against Logan’s chest.

Matt stifled a chuckle. Scott had informed him when they got on the back-porch swing that it wasn’t cool to snuggle. That would change, of course—he was a wolf and wolves snuggled—but Matt hadn’t argued. He’d allowed Eddie to climb into his lap, Darren to burrow under his arm, and Scott to sit next to them like a big boy. As time passed, Scott had gotten closer and closer until he too leaned against Matt’s arm and Darren’s side. So Matt didn’t dare comment on Scott crawling into their brother’s lap.

Grinning, Logan brushed Scott’s hair off his forehead and cuddled him closer. “I noticed. Now shut up and go to sleep.” He glanced down at their two youngest brothers, then met Matt’s gaze. “How long have they been out?”

Matt rubbed Darren’s arm. “Eddie fell asleep five minutes after we got out here, and about ten minutes ago Darren stopped talking mid-sentence. What’s everyone else doing?”

“I just finished dishes and sent Blake to bed. He was worn out from baseball practice. I think Drew went to Chris and Johnny’s room to play video games with Johnny. Chris is on the phone with his girlfriend, Dad’s still on the couch and Bambi gave up the search for Mom and is at the table on his laptop trying to catch up on work.” Logan relaxed back into the swing some more, slouching and getting comfortable. He was good at playing the caretaker. The younger kids listened to him. He was sterner than Matt and their father, but his judgment was great. Which was surprising, since he liked to push the rules as far as he could and even break a few. Sometimes he seemed much older than eighteen. He looked up at the sky, still holding Scott close.

Matt yawned and looked up at the sky too. New Mexico was very different than Georgia. Besides being Aubrey-less, which he was not going to think about, the humidity was lower and it was definitely cooler. Matt sighed and focused on the stars. They weren’t as visible here at home, and the night sounds were louder in Savannah. There were crickets here too, but not as many, or at least it didn’t sound like it. Out in the country, the crickets chirped in stereo. Here you could pretty much pinpoint what direction the sounds came from. Was it possible to be homesick for a place that wasn’t your home? How could he miss someone that didn’t want him around? Matt ground his teeth together and squeezed his eyes tight. He was pathetic.

“How long are you staying?” Logan asked.

Opening his eyes and forcing his teeth to unclench, Matt shrugged. “As long as I’m needed.”

“Yay.” Scott lifted his head. “Tomorrow can we all go to—?”

Logan pushed Scott’s head back against his chest. “Sleep or I’m going to make you go upstairs and go to bed.” To Matt he asked, “Can you afford to miss school?”

Scott groaned but leaned back against their brother.

“Yeah. I don’t have any upcoming tests, and I called my friend Jordan before I left Savannah to tell him what happened and ask if he’d take notes for me. The classes we’re in together are the only ones I’ll need notes in. My English and math class are straight from the book.” Matt frowned and exhaled hard. Who was he kidding? “Actually, I don’t know if I’m going back.” He’d have Aubrey FedEx the rest of his stuff home and never have to see the jerk again.

Aubrey.
Dang it, why did he get that little catch in his chest at the thought of never seeing his mate again? Matt should probably return Aubrey’s call, but he didn’t know what to say to him at the moment. He hadn’t gotten to tell anyone why he left. It looked like he was running away, and he supposed he was. Denying that his mom’s abandonment hadn’t let him escape would be a lie.

“Spill it. What happened?” Logan grabbed his hand where it rested against Darren’s side and pried his fist open.

Startled out of his thoughts, Matt glanced over at Logan. He hadn’t realized he was tensing up.

Logan pushed the swing, making them move again. “I thought things were going good.”

“Keaton and Chay are in Georgia. They caught me and Aubrey in bed.”

“Were you jumping on the bed?” Scott asked.

“What?” Matt looked at Scott and then up at Logan.

Logan shrugged.

Scott lifted his head and met Matt’s gaze. “You said they caught you. That means you were doing something you weren’t supposed to.”

“Scott…” Logan sounded austere, but he was smirking.

Matt groaned at his slip-up. He’d forgotten they had little ears around.

Scott sighed and laid his head back down. “Okay, okay. I’m sleeping.” He made a fake snoring sound, and mumbled, “Can’t believe you get on to me for jumping on the bed when you do it.”

Logan bit his lip, trying not to laugh. “Time to switch to code.”

Yeah, no kidding. Matt didn’t want to explain sex to his younger brother. He may be a surrogate parent in a lot of ways, but he was not going to have
the talk
. He’d discuss things with his brothers after Dad did the explaining.

“How’d they react?”

“Keaton got pissed at Aubrey. He accused him of taking advantage.” Matt was glad it was dark out here, because he knew darn well he was blushing.

“Did Aubrey tell him the truth?”

“No.” Matt winced at the abruptness of his response. It wasn’t Logan’s fault Aubrey was a jerk. God, he wanted to hit something. And that so wasn’t like him. Which was another thing he had Aubrey to thank for.

“Hmm…” Logan looked back out at the yard, his face screwed up in thought. “And you’re pissed about that?”

“No. Yes. I don’t know. I’m mad at way more than that.” Matt sighed and laid his head all the way back, staring up at the porch awning. He wasn’t sure about anything anymore. Everything was so crazy. His mom was gone. Aubrey had not only lied to him again, he clearly had no room, or desire, for Matt in his life.

“Come on, bro. Talk to me.” Logan rubbed Matt’s arm affectionately.

He told Logan how Aubrey planned on marrying and how he omitted having three forms. “Everything about our relationship is a lie. His dad said I had to let him figure it out on his own, but—”

“Wait. Back up. What’s this about his dad?”

Matt relayed the entire talk he’d had with Howard to his brother.

Logan was quiet for several moments. “So Aubrey isn’t the only one keeping secrets?”

Turning his head, Matt glared at his brother. Not telling what Howard said wasn’t the same thing at all.

Logan sighed. “Cut the guy some slack, Matthew. He has a high-stress job and a lot of responsibility. He doesn’t seem the type to just open up and tell everyone his business. Informing everyone he’s gay can’t be easy, especially knowing it might hinder his job. And honestly, he sure doesn’t seem inclined to get married. He may’ve told his mom that, but if he were serious about it, wouldn’t he be looking already? He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to make rash decisions. The beginning of the year isn’t that far away.”

“Just because he lies to himself too doesn’t make it right.” Matt stared out at the backyard. The tension in his shoulders was beginning to make his neck hurt. He rolled them, trying to relax. He’d come out here to sit with his brothers and forget about everything for a while. “I can’t live like that. I can’t take the lies. Mo—um, you know who, lies. I don’t want that kind of a relationship. I’d rather be alone.”

Logan snorted. “From what you’ve told me, he is nothing like her. He sounds confused, not mean or hateful. He doesn’t seem like someone who uses people and discards them. He cares or he wouldn’t give a damn if his personal life affected anyone else.”

“Well he sure as heck doesn’t seem to give a fig how his decisions affect me,” Matt snapped out.

“Bullshit. Think about it, Matt. If that were true, he’d have told you he planned on getting married and having a family aside from you in the first place. But that’s a moot point. I don’t think he ever intended to carry through with the plan. I think he’s confused as hell and doesn’t know how to deal with it. Hell, when was the last time
she
ever bought…” he glanced down at Scott, “…
her
mate a present just for the hell of it? Aubrey takes you places, and he buys you things. He spends time with you. She never did those things. Baseball was the only thing she and her mate had in common.”

Baseball? What the—? Matt stared at his brother. Their mom hated sports. “What’re you talking about? Baseball?”

Logan groaned. “Code, Matthew. Work with me here. You know…first base, second base, third base, home run? It’s a euphemism.”

Matt rolled his eyes and groaned. “You dork.”

“Yeah well. It’s true, and you know it.”

“I don’t think they’re mates.” Matt glanced down at Scott. He was asleep. “They got married because she was pregnant with…me.”

“I came to that conclusion too.” Logan nodded but didn’t say anything for several seconds. His hand squeezed Matt’s shoulder, kneading it. “I hate her. I really do. I’m glad she’s gone.”

In some ways Matt agreed, but she
was
his mom. “I kind of feel sorry for her. She was forced to get married.”

“Oh bullshit. You don’t believe that, do you? And how the hell do you explain the rest of us? Nine kids doesn’t sound like force to me.”

“Aubrey said the same thing.”

“I like him already.”

“I don’t know what to think. I guess I feel rejected.” Matt blinked back tears. In little ways his mother had always rejected him. Now Aubrey was rejecting him too.

“Don’t take it personal, bro. We’re better off without her. Don’t compare your mate to her. By doing so you’re doing yourself and him a disservice. You can find similarities for anything if you look hard enough, but it doesn’t make it so.”

Wow.
That was profound, and it made sense. Was Matt looking too hard for similarities? Deep down he knew Aubrey was nothing like his mother, because Aubrey had a sense of responsibility that Matt’s mother had never had. Ironically, it was that responsibility that caused all their problems. “How’d you get so smart?”

“I have a really cool older brother who has always encouraged me in whatever I do.” Logan gathered Scott in his arms and stood. “Let’s get these guys to bed. I’ll come back for Darren.”

If there was one thing Matt was good at, it was being a big brother. Matt gently lowered Darren to the swing and hauled Eddie up with him. “Yeah, let’s get these rascals to bed.” He’d figure out what to do about his mate later.

The clock on the nightstand between his and Logan’s bed read 12:46 a.m. He’d been staring at it since 11:55. Matt sighed. He should just get up. Obviously he wasn’t going to go back to sleep. Something moved around his feet, drawing his attention away from the clock.

Eddie lay diagonal across the foot of the bed with one pajama-clad leg hanging off the edge. Matt grinned despite his mood. The kid slept like a wild man. It wasn’t unusual to put him in bed at night and find him on the floor the next morning. Matt had gotten used to sleeping with Aubrey who stayed perfectly still in sleep.

Matt groaned. He didn’t want to think about Aubrey, but he couldn’t stop. His mind was all over the place. He’d finally decided his mom leaving was for the best, even if he was hurt by it, but he was no closer to figuring out what to do about Aubrey. He’d gone from hating him, to pitying him, to wanting to hit him, and now…well now he kind of missed him.
Yeah right. There is no
kind of
about it.
He glanced at his phone lying on the nightstand. Had Aubrey called again? Or maybe he left a text?

Carefully extracting himself from bed, Matt swung his legs out of the covers. He sat on the edge of the mattress for a moment and ran his hands over his face. Why was it that when something went wrong everything seemed to pile together and bombard you?

Shoving to his feet, he took a deep breath. He needed something to drink. After rescuing his baby brother from an imminent fall off the bed and putting him in the middle of it, Matt stood staring down at his phone. He shouldn’t care if Aubrey called again. Before he could talk himself out of it, he grabbed his phone and went downstairs.